Numb

[[of...]]

So I've had alot of improvements as of late, most symptoms have seemingly vanished with no warning.

 

But , at thirty months, I feel nothing emotionally . I now sleep nine hours a night after about 26 months straight with almost no sleep and when I wake up, I feel no spark to get up.

 

I'm trying my hardest to accept this as another benzo wd symptom, but I'm not sure. I feel like maybe the shock of the withdrawal shut me down and I feel trapped in the grey area.

 

Every now and then, something clicks, and I feel like I can relate to someone who's in pain and I cry. Then I return to my general emptiness.

 

Am i alone here? I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm alone with this and me coming here isn't necessary. I see people here struggling with anxiety and fear. I have neither. Nothing makes me nervous, or afraid. I hope this isn't the new me, I need to feel passion again which I understand now is an emotion

[[Si...]]

Well consider it a blessing! I think it's not so linear as this. Healing is a continuum and sure maybe by standards of this small community it's might or might not be withdraw symptoms. You now have an open canvas to feel again and see what makes you do that. Walk away from this horrible thing called benzo withdrawal and start accenting your canvas with beautiful color.  Also I know I have PTSD disorder from this bs and that could be inadvertently affecting you if your ride was that horrific. But again it's not healthy to box things up because it's very complex process that got us to the point of getting on and then off the garbage. Boxing things up is what doctors do in western medicine. We hate that shit here.

[[Da...]]

Hi offeveything27, I do and then don't relate to what you are saying. I feel a great emptiness inside and I definitely feel numb. I don't want to ever get out of bed but I force myself to do it. I wonder if I will ever get back to the person I used to be. If anything else will ever seem fulfilling.

 

I don't relate in that I still have some crazy anxiety and never problems that what seems like everyday things to some people is hard for me to do. I am at 10 months out now. So try to enjoy the fact you are not nervous at all I wish that was true for me too.

[[of...]]

Hey Davis. I'm sorry you have this too!  I force myself too. I just come here for support and to relate with others. My fiance helps me tremendously but she doesn't understand so I guess coming here is therapy. I'm grateful I don't have anxiety btw. I had it about a year after jumping.

 

Sick thanks for taking time to respond! I can go months forgetting I ever took benzos, but the numbness leaves me in a place where I need some sort of understanding from people in a similar situation. Take care

 

 

[[Re...]]

So I've had alot of improvements as of late, most symptoms have seemingly vanished with no warning.

 

But , at thirty months, I feel nothing emotionally . I now sleep nine hours a night after about 26 months straight with almost no sleep and when I wake up, I feel no spark to get up.

 

I'm trying my hardest to accept this as another benzo wd symptom, but I'm not sure. I feel like maybe the shock of the withdrawal shut me down and I feel trapped in the grey area.

 

Every now and then, something clicks, and I feel like I can relate to someone who's in pain and I cry. Then I return to my general emptiness.

 

Am i alone here? I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm alone with this and me coming here isn't necessary. I see people here struggling with anxiety and fear. I have neither. Nothing makes me nervous, or afraid. I hope this isn't the new me, I need to feel passion again which I understand now is an emotion

 

It is sad to hear you are experiencing that my friend.I also experience that, but am nowhere near you in time off benzos. I can tell you that your post gives me hope that my other symptoms will disappear . At least you are setting a example and paving the way for those of us still in the hole down here. I can't wait until I am at the point where my experience inspires people. I want to out of the hole.

 

When you said nothing makes you nervous or afraid it gave me strength .

[[of...]]

Hey  thanks. Most of the people I spoke with earlier in this process healed around a year . From what I've seen, being here for almost three and a half years now, most people recover in the 12-18 month range. Unfortunately I was on 5 mg of Xanax which I was abusing, and two mg of Klonopin.

 

I hope to someday inspire people! Hopefully sooner than later.

[[Re...]]

Hey  thanks. Most of the people I spoke with earlier in this process healed around a year . From what I've seen, being here for almost three and a half years now, most people recover in the 12-18 month range. Unfortunately I was on 5 mg of Xanax which I was abusing, and two mg of Klonopin.

 

I hope to someday inspire people! Hopefully sooner than later.

 

Your inspiring me now. I think you are closer to healing than you think . Whatever time you have left is nothing compared to 3 and a half years 

[[of...]]

Your right! I need to remind myself this is temporary . I somehow buy into the idea that I'm stuck like this

[[Re...]]

Your right! I need to remind myself this is temporary . I somehow buy into the idea that I'm stuck like this

 

It's only natural. I do to. I think any kind of mental problem that last longer than a few months starts to feel permanent . It's hard not to have that idea in our minds since it is a logically sound idea. Unfortunately not much about recovering from benzos is logically sound.

 

If I was that far out the idea would have only grown stronger. You can't get rid of the idea, but you can sell yourself on the truth . That's pretty Awsome your fiancé has been supportive though this. I can't imagine many women wanting to stick around a guy going through this, she sounds like a keeper lol .

 

I used to doubt my wife's love for me , but after watching her stick with me through this I can see I was wrong. Hopefully she will stay for however much time I have left. I have a paranoia she is secretly plotting to leave me. 

[[of...]]

She left me in the beginning but now she's always here so yes I am lucky, so is she. 

 

I took Gingko yesterday and again today. Im noticing it's elevating my mood a bit! What a welcomed break.