How many are experiencing morbid thoughts?

[Guest [su...]]

I sometimes get really and  I mean mad at myself. I find myself getting very dark morbid thoughts. They have scared me at first because they contain thoughts about suicide or that I would hurt myself. Though I'm terrified of dying and have absolutely never ever hurt myself. I have even had thoughts that I will go crazy and get psychosis. I will freak out and hurt someone I love. This scared me earlier but I just get angry now when they tend to show up and they do. They will always show ip when I am most abstinent.Am I alone with this creepy sh**

[[...]]

No your not alone in those thoughts. They hover in my mind and it makes me sad that m thinking that way.  It's the poison taking over your thoughts. Distract yourself. Pray, read, listen to music, meditate, I know it's hard but we need to try. Hugs

[[Ra...]]

Scary, intrusive, morbid thoughts about hurting yourself or others is a classic symptom of anxiety. My psych told me that fearing you will lose control and hurt someone you love is the most common reported symptom of anxiety.

 

Here is the greatest explanation I've ever heard about why, from a former therapist: you're brain has to find a thought to match the level of fear in your body. It has to find an explanation. And it use go to the most important and precious things in your life.

 

I try to remind myself of this, even though it is hard because it's so easy to believe the thoughts.

 

I still worry that I will go crazy. But I will tell you that you won't!

 

~R 

[[ra...]]

Yes I have recurrent thoughts about, well, disapearing, mostly in the evening after a whole day suffering. I feel angry not having the guts...

[[Ry...]]

My mind has gone to places that I thought I would never see. The only thing that keeps my stable is that I know it's the withdrawal. I started out so hopeful and ready and now I'm fighting to live every day, even when I have absolutely no physical symptoms. I think it's pretty common, actually.

[[be...]]

I have morbid thoughts too but not about hurting myself or someone else. They're the opposite. I fear the loss of loved ones. Feel it mentally and physically. They are very hard thoughts to deal with. My hubby is flying out today for 4 days and my tummy is major butterflies. Will his plane crash? Will he get home safe? OMG they are overwhelming. He leaves in 2 hours. Crazy, crazy crazy. I guess I'll be posting a lot till he gets home but I just can't dwell on this. Plan to stay very busy cleaning up the mess from having the house painted. Making it look nice. I feel like crap but I can't just sit around for 4 days. I know it's the pills but that doesn't help. Hopefully I'll settle down by tonight. So much for acceptance today! B

[[pe...]]

I have these thoughts all the time when my anxiety spikes. Yesterday was a rough day and I kept thinking that I couldn't handle it and the only peace I would get is from dying, but I didn't want to die and then I was freaking out because I was so afraid to die. I've talked with my Psychologist and Psychiatrist about them and they have said what others have echoed--it's completely normal, whether or not we like it.

 

Anxiety attaches itself to the most precious things in your life and makes you fear for them. Like Ranomi pointed out, your mind is essentially searching for a thought to match the level of fear/anxiousness you are feeling. It's hard to ignore but that's what you have to do. The more you fear it the more the intensity grows. Try not to be impressed by it--I know deep down you know it's not true. 

 

Barb--I know exactly what you mean. Anytime my husband or family travels I freak out thinking something is going to happen to them. If he doesn't text me right away, is he okay? My mind conjures up the absolute worst thoughts, but then again that's all anxiety doing it's dirty tricks.

[[ti...]]

I have real fear of something happening to my husband. He had a major stroke, seizure disorder, was in the hospital last week, and major illnesses of mine too

Sometimes I feel like Im going to die anyway so why suffer

But my kids really need me

I have accepted regular visits to the ER to be part of my life now

No amount of worrying or positive thinking seems to change that

[[ne...]]

I never thought my mind could go to such dark places.

At times, I've just gone there instead of fighting it.

 

The only thing I found there was just thoughts.

 

Thoughts can't do anything, only actions on those thoughts.

[[wh...]]

I sometimes get really and  I mean mad at myself. I find myself getting very dark morbid thoughts. They have scared me at first because they contain thoughts about suicide or that I would hurt myself. Though I'm terrified of dying and have absolutely never ever hurt myself. I have even had thoughts that I will go crazy and get psychosis. I will freak out and hurt someone I love. This scared me earlier but I just get angry now when they tend to show up and they do. They will always show ip when I am most abstinent. I am alone with this creepy sh**

 

Hi Sundance, I just wanted to share my experience with intrusive OCD thoughts. They happened to me 15 years ago (prior to any meds). I had thoughts of me putting my cats in the microwave or freezer, or hurting myself especially driving. Thinking to myself what would happen if I didn't stay on the road and lost control and went over the side? I ended up going to the psychiatrist because I didn't like the way I was thinking because I love my cats so much. She told me that I wasn't going crazy and they are symptoms of OCD (intrusive unwanted thoughts). She told me to just tell myself that each time a thought like that would happen just say out loud "that's an unrealistic thought!" Snap out of it and do something else. OCD exacerbates with heightened stress and anxiety. So if you are undergoing stress and anxiety the unwanted thoughts will elevate. What's causing stress right now and eliminate or rethink the way you are handling the situation could work wonders indirectly.

 

Now I don't know from experience about intrusive unwanted thoughts coming from meds but I would imagine they absolutely could and fuck with your brain in such a way. But just tell yourself " that's an unrealistic thought and it's coming from the medication!"

[[1w...]]

My mind has gone to places that I thought I would never see. The only thing that keeps my stable is that I know it's the withdrawal. I started out so hopeful and ready and now I'm fighting to live every day, even when I have absolutely no physical symptoms. I think it's pretty common, actually.

 

Exactly!  You stated exactly what I'm experiencing!  The problem is that I have physical symptoms as well, i.e. caused by the mental symptoms.  I will not give up!!!

[[br...]]

This will make you all laugh (maybe)

 

I have complete snake phobia. I have always been irrationally terrified of the horrid things.

We live near a lake in Northern California. A few nights ago a very scared out walking neighbor rang our bell to tell us that a very large rattler had slithered into our sidewalk bushes. Normally this would have freaked me out, but I was in the middle of acute, and my fear of the snake was nothing compared to the hell  I was going through. I just said 'Oh is that all', and made sure the house was well shut up.

[Guest [su...]]

I have these thoughts all the time when my anxiety spikes. Yesterday was a rough day and I kept thinking that I couldn't handle it and the only peace I would get is from dying, but I didn't want to die and then I was freaking out because I was so afraid to die. I've talked with my Psychologist and Psychiatrist about them and they have said what others have echoed--it's completely normal, whether or not we like it.

 

Anxiety attaches itself to the most precious things in your life and makes you fear for them. Like Ranomi pointed out, your mind is essentially searching for a thought to match the level of fear/anxiousness you are feeling. It's hard to ignore but that's what you have to do. The more you fear it the more the intensity grows. Try not to be impressed by it--I know deep down you know it's not true. 

 

Barb--I know exactly what you mean. Anytime my husband or family travels I freak out thinking something is going to happen to them. If he doesn't text me right away, is he okay? My mind conjures up the absolute worst thoughts, but then again that's all anxiety doing it's dirty tricks.

 

 

My GAD loves this thoughts...

[Guest [su...]]

Thnx for all answers. I guess I m not alone 

[Guest [su...]]

No your not alone in those thoughts. They hover in my mind and it makes me sad that m thinking that way.  It's the poison taking over your thoughts. Distract yourself. Pray, read, listen to music, meditate, I know it's hard but we need to try. Hugs

Thanx yes I do all those stuff but they hunt me down sometimes. And I found away to deal with it. I write poems 

[Guest [su...]]

Scary, intrusive, morbid thoughts about hurting yourself or others is a classic symptom of anxiety. My psych told me that fearing you will lose control and hurt someone you love is the most common reported symptom of anxiety.

 

Here is the greatest explanation I've ever heard about why, from a former therapist: you're brain has to find a thought to match the level of fear in your body. It has to find an explanation. And it use go to the most important and precious things in your life.

 

I try to remind myself of this, even though it is hard because it's so easy to believe the thoughts.

 

I still worry that I will go crazy. But I will tell you that you won't!

 

~R 

 

Thnx 4 your respond. It feels good to know this 

[[ne...]]

I just took the cat out of the dryer, what was the question? 

[Guest [su...]]

I sometimes get really and  I mean mad at myself. I find myself getting very dark morbid thoughts. They have scared me at first because they contain thoughts about suicide or that I would hurt myself. Though I'm terrified of dying and have absolutely never ever hurt myself. I have even had thoughts that I will go crazy and get psychosis. I will freak out and hurt someone I love. This scared me earlier but I just get angry now when they tend to show up and they do. They will always show ip when I am most abstinent. I am alone with this creepy sh**

 

Hi Sundance, I just wanted to share my experience with intrusive OCD thoughts. They happened to me 15 years ago (prior to any meds). I had thoughts of me putting my cats in the microwave or freezer, or hurting myself especially driving. Thinking to myself what would happen if I didn't stay on the road and lost control and went over the side? I ended up going to the psychiatrist because I didn't like the way I was thinking because I love my cats so much. She told me that I wasn't going crazy and they are symptoms of OCD (intrusive unwanted thoughts). She told me to just tell myself that each time a thought like that would happen just say out loud "that's an unrealistic thought!" Snap out of it and do something else. OCD exacerbates with heightened stress and anxiety. So if you are undergoing stress and anxiety the unwanted thoughts will elevate. What's causing stress right now and eliminate or rethink the way you are handling the situation could work wonders indirectly.

 

Now I don't know from experience about intrusive unwanted thoughts coming from meds but I would imagine they absolutely could and fuck with your brain in such a way. But just tell yourself " that's an unrealistic thought and it's coming from the medication!"

 

This is like me! About the car..Or I had have thoughts of jumping of a bridge or cut myself with a knife. Or push another person that I dont't know infront of a car..I would never do this things but the can be scary. I had learn to cope with them like you wrote. Scary what a pill can do to the brain...

[Guest [su...]]

They caught me today again.... 

I felt now is it time to just ger this shit done and I don't want to live anymore.

WTF!!! I don't wanna die. There is nothing more than death and dying that make me more afraid.

I got really angry and told GAD to shout the f*** up...

This is not me talking so go to hell...

Well it helped. But now they start again. OCD. Damn...

I hate this. I m not crazy. GAD is for sure . When I had lyrica GAD was quiet...

Not a word....

[[pe...]]

They caught me today again.... 

I felt now is it time to just ger this shit done and I don't want to live anymore.

WTF!!! I don't wanna die. There is nothing more than death and dying that make me more afraid.

I got really angry and told GAD to shout the f*** up...

This is not me talking so go to hell...

Well it helped. But now they start again. OCD. Damn...

I hate this. I m not crazy. GAD is for sure . When I had lyrica GAD was quiet...

Not a word....

 

Yeah happened to me too. It will fluctuate from thinking I'm going to die, scared of dying, then what if I want to die, etc. etc. It's the pits really.

 

What I've noticed that has helped is that when it's happening I can usually feel the typical symptoms of panic/distress/anxiety (i.e. tight chest, tingling forhead, on an on) and so I've been able to reason that it's really just more adrenaline and the only reason I hate this so much is because I'm deeply bothered by the content. It's not even so much the reaction/symptoms as that is somewhat tolerable, it's more that I have such intense dislike/distress over the content. It happens all the time, when you get used to one thing it will change the "topic" so as to get the same reaction.

 

At least we are all in this together, right? 

[[br...]]

Morbid thoughts will happen. We have all lost so much and sometimes when the pain is at it's worst and seems endless we just want to give up. I get it all too well, I have lost two cousin's to suicide. Their suffering is over, but the impact on our family will never end. Growing up I lived with the pain and heartbreak the suicides caused, and for me there is no alternative. I have to live for my family, and I have to live for myself, because if I die the bastard drug companies, lousy doctors and the f----d up health industry will have won. G--D gave me this precious gift of life, and only he has the right to take it away. I can and I will be strong, because at least I have the hope that eventually I will heal and be well, unlike two of my friends who died of cancer this year.