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Difficult to see life pass you by


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I have been tapering off Clonazepam for few months now and am experiencing the unbelievable acute anxiety that most everyone here is experiencing.  I am able to work part time which is hard to do but at the same time staying at home all day I think would be worse.

 

It is very hard to see everyone around me going on with their lives and having a good time.  All I did was trust my doctor and take this medication having no idea what it would do to me.  Now I am paying the price.  I am happy for everyone around me but at the same time I am so envious.  Life stops for no one.  I guess I just have to do my time and hopefully I will come out the other side ok and I can join them again some day.  Anyone else feel the same? :-[

 

 

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Absolutely. Over Labor Day weekend I was planning to go to my favorite event of the year - the Detroit Jazz Festival. I had missed it last year due to chemo, so this year I was going to make it!

 

I woke up that morning feeling absolutely dreadful. I called my friend and said I could not go. I sat on my bed and looked out at the gorgeous blue sky and just sobbed.

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Joe Black,

I had the exact same discussion this morning.

Not just a part but the whole thing including the doctor, people having fun and me being envious, I am also tapering klonopin.

I think it is natural to envy people doing what you once could do but can't at the moment.

As you say, we will be back doing these things again.

 

How long have you been tapering for? I'm closing in on 5 months and it seems like a bit of a hurdle time wise that I must get over, to me 5 months has been an eternity yet I still have many months left of my taper.

 

 

 

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I have been tapering rapidly lately, but I have had the feelings you have for at least the last 9 months.  I have been at maximum anxiety levels as well as suffering from massive depression.  I have missed so many things over the last few years and find no joy in anything.  You are very fortunate that you are able to work part time, I know that working at least part time outside the home would likely make me feel a lot better.  I so want to have at least some love of life back.  I'm glad to have BB to see that I'm not alone.  I have faith that we will weather the storm, but I really am having trouble seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
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I have not been able to do much of what I used to do, but I have changed some of my activities. I started learning French via phone apps, got into hydroponic gardening, also my business I can do from home. I am fortunate that I am able to heal at home as I know some of you have jobs to attend. There are days I can barely do any work and take care of things, on those days , I just try to do the best I can. Somehow even though I am really messed up some of the time, I am feeling thankful and content. The contrast from my "old life" is stark however. I'd love to be able to exercise more. This is a major change, its hard to let go of how things used to be. In time, we will all heal and hopefully we can all do what we want again, and feel so much more grateful for being able to do so.
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