I'm a pathetic creature

[[Je...]]

I sit in fear most of the day.

 

Afraid to go to our local convience store?  Really?

[[Ch...]]

How's the Valium crossover going?  I can probably guess...slow and depressing.  But that's how it goes.

 

As to the agoraphobia, yeah.  Really.

[[ia...]]

Hey JerryK

I can relate. You helped me a year ago when I had a question.

Sorry you are feeling so bad.

You are not pathetic....just remember, you didnt ask for this, not have any idea what trouble  these chemicals would cause.

Hang in there. You seem to have plenty of support on this Forum.

[Guest [Ka...]]

Jerry,

I found that "retraining the brain", nervous system, muscles (muscle memory) is critical. I still have to do it daily sometimes. For me, once I forced myself to do things differently, to see things differently, it happened (still happens). Change the thought, change the body (physical action, reaction...) one perhaps follows the other, back and forth. Adding gratitude is grand/stellar.

Did you opt for a detox/rehab program? Hope  some of this helps. In my humble beginning(s), I had to spend alot of time alone, and still do. I knew it had to start with changing my thinking, and acceptance. The exercising daily helped tremendously with change. Peace. Karuna.

 

[[To...]]

I sit in fear most of the day.

 

Afraid to go to our local convience store?  Really?

 

I know right. Last time I went up there I got out of 2 stores with an empty trolley.   

 

In the first store I threw some sandwiches in it and all of a sudden I changed my mind and threw them back out of the trolley and drove to the exit saying to the cashier I had bought nothing and left with an empty trolley.   

 

Within a few days I have to go back to the grocery store and I need some kind of a strategy, I might go in really early when it's opening time so not many people are in there. I just can't stand having people around me anymore and especially not when they start bumping into me with those trolley cars at the exit, I'm like getting into "war mode" when someone comes even close to me let alone if someone bumps into me ...   

[[To...]]

How's the Valium crossover going?  I can probably guess...slow and depressing.  But that's how it goes.

 

As to the agoraphobia, yeah.  Really.

 

 

 

 

 

[[Ch...]]

Gol darn it, I hate to see you all suffering like this!!!  My first 10 days I had no appetite, thank God I had some left over protein meal replacement drinks that were only a little expired!! Then the next week I had enough milk, cereal and odds and ends in the freezer to tide me over.  After that I would go out in the middle of the night since I was up anyway...yay Walmart for 24 hour service.  You said "trolley" so I assume you are in Great Britain? No Walmart there yet, I think.

Stock up on frozen dinners when you get to the store, don't worry about what sounds good, because nothing will!!

Good luck!

[[Ra...]]

I have tried to force myself to go to the store even in my worst moments and I can usually do it. It's something I never had a problem with, ever before 'all this'.

 

Now, I go when I feel better. Usually in the evening. the store is less busy and I'm a little less stressed.

 

Go with a friend if that would help.

 

Those labels we give ourselves. When I see others do it, I see how unloving to the self it is, but then I do it to myself and it feels legitimate.

 

 

 

 

[[be...]]

Jerry:

 

You have to learn to love yourself in order to get better. Self bashing is simply untrue and counter productive. Just take a look around here.....Are we all failures? No. Victims.

[[Ch...]]

It helped to wear sunglasses in the grocery store...lightly tinted ones.  The fluorescent lights were a real trigger for awhile.

[[Be...]]

I now the feeling ....for the first time in a week i actually drove today and took a shower......cant believe these pills.

[[Di...]]

You're not pathetic.  Going through a horrific thing in your life is scary, for the strongest of people.  Benzos can bring anyone to their knees, like nothing I've experienced in my life.

 

 

 

 

[[be...]]

Same as DG: You are a victim. Which docs usually blame your problems on you, not that they scripted you a very dangerous and addictive drug. "It's not my fault." yea, right.

[[Je...]]

Benzogirl I want to ask you a question but your PMs are turned off

[[be...]]

Benzogirl I want to ask you a question but your PMs are turned off

 

Yes, they are turned off. Not my doing. Ask here if you wish to.

[[To...]]

Benzogirl I want to ask you a question but your PMs are turned off

 

Yes, they are turned off. Not my doing. Ask here if you wish to.

 

 

 

  Priceless !!!       

 

 

 

 

[[be...]]

:

[[of...]]

Karina gave some pretty incredibly insightful advice and it seems it was overlooked.

 

She mentioned acceptance and meditation. People meditate because it eliminates fear and anxiety. It's an act where you sit and breath, nothing else for ten minutes. Watch over what your thinking without becoming attached to whatever your mind is coming up with. Ten minutes of this exercise a day is called meditating

 

The goal, is to gain awareness of the fact that you have the option to attach, or ruminate on something.  "meditation" is retraining your focus on something else. Be it your breath. Or a mantra, or sound or a light..

 

Your brain is like plastic, it's always molding itself and changing and learning. Teach it meditation, after a week or two you'll notice your anxiety comes from the thoughts you decide to give power to