Weekends are the hardest

[[Mi...]]

Hi gang,

 

It always seems like Friday and Sat are the hardest for me.  MY work keeps me busy and preoccupied and I barely notice symptoms until the weekend.  Today in particular I am having the elephant on my chest, and I don't know whats worse, that or the jitters.  I am going to stay busy today with hosehold projects but I wanted to see if anyone else tends to doubledown on there symptoms when they are alone and left to there own devices.  I could use some positive feedback and good energy to help me get through today. 

 

Also thought I should mention I am currently on the last leg of my taper only .0625 mg per day.  Not sure what to expect when I jump off, thinking about making the leap this week any suggestions?

 

Thanks,

Mindfull

[[so...]]

I am absolutely the same. Work days are the easiest. My work requires full concentration so I really can't think too much about symptoms unless they are absolutely out of control, which really only happened on my A taper and hasn't happened on my V taper except at the very beginning.

 

Relaxing in general is more difficult than work for me. Probably typical of anxiety sufferers. It's getting better though as my doses get lower. Today was a very relaxing Saturday and I enjoyed every moment. I'm slowly learning to practice mindfulness and stay in the moment. There are times when I just can't, but those times pass quickly.

 

Have you read any of Claire Weekes' work? Her method really does help with this. It's basically mindfulness but there's something about the down-to-earth way that she explains it that really got through to me.

[[Ca...]]

I hate the weekends and I don't even work.

[[Mi...]]

I am absolutely the same. Work days are the easiest. My work requires full concentration so I really can't think too much about symptoms unless they are absolutely out of control, which really only happened on my A taper and hasn't happened on my V taper except at the very beginning.

 

Relaxing in general is more difficult than work for me. Probably typical of anxiety sufferers. It's getting better though as my doses get lower. Today was a very relaxing Saturday and I enjoyed every moment. I'm slowly learning to practice mindfulness and stay in the moment. There are times when I just can't, but those times pass quickly.

 

Have you read any of Claire Weekes' work? Her method really does help with this. It's basically mindfulness but there's something about the down-to-earth way that she explains it that really got through to me.

 

Thanks Carol,

 

I'm trying to stay positive and busy. It seems staying busy is easier than staying positive. I'm also really trying to slow everything down and be I bathe moment. It's a little hard when that ever present impending doom is lingering in the background.  I will check out Claire weeks If she's anything like Pema choderen or Eli Jaxon Bear the two gurus who helped me understand mindfullness, I'm sure

She will

Be helpful during this process.

[[so...]]

It IS easier to stay busy than to stay positive! Great point! And I have been keeping PLENTY busy lately. Honestly, I don't try to be positive anymore. I just try to face whatever the given moment is handing me. I don't seek huge amounts of neverending happiness and I don't freak out when a bad moment appears. I just live. I wish I had known how to do that before I said yes to benzos! But if that's what it took for me to learn it, then so be it.

 

This is about weekends being harder... ugh today was the opposite. I had the work assignment from hell (I do transcription) and it was more than 12 hours of work. I'm so exhausted. I wouldn't mind if the pay was better, but I guess I should just be grateful that I can even work while I'm tapering because I know many can't.

 

If one good thing came out of the benzo drama it's looking at my life more clearly and seeing what needs to change.

[[Dw...]]

I can reflect cause I noticed Weekends are hard for me too, especially Saturday. Also what I think was making me even more miserable is that I slept till late on weekends. Now when I stopped to do that and wake up earlier it's little bit better.

 

But it's awful that we are hit at times when we are supposed to relax.

[[Ca...]]

I identify with keeping busy without being positive.  I repeat positive affirmations but I don't feel or believe them.  I wish I was working.  Work was always a great distraction.  I feel so overwhelmed though by the simplest of tasks and am so full of panic, depression and brain fog every waking moment that it's hard to do things --but I keep trying.  What else can we do?  Has anyone read "How to be Sick"? It's by a former law professor who developed a debilitating unknown chronic illness and discusses how she came to acceptance around her suffering.  I found it interesting.  Of course, we are all counting on recovering, but for me, many times during the day, I feel as if I never will.

[[su...]]

Carol Jean,

I work, but I can so relate to what you said.  I don't believe the positive affirmations anymore either because it's been so long.  Something that might help is to read success stories.  They remind me that this will end.  So many have it worse than us.

[[Ca...]]

I do think I am reasonably lucky that my physical w/d symptoms are "merely" exhaustion, neuropathy and a weak immune system along wth the early morning holy terrors. It's the emotional symptoms that are flattening me.

 

Those pesky TGIF texts will be coming around soon..............

[[Mi...]]

It IS easier to stay busy than to stay positive! Great point! And I have been keeping PLENTY busy lately. Honestly, I don't try to be positive anymore. I just try to face whatever the given moment is handing me. I don't seek huge amounts of neverending happiness and I don't freak out when a bad moment appears. I just live. I wish I had known how to do that before I said yes to benzos! But if that's what it took for me to learn it, then so be it.

 

This is about weekends being harder... ugh today was the opposite. I had the work assignment from hell (I do transcription) and it was more than 12 hours of work. I'm so exhausted. I wouldn't mind if the pay was better, but I guess I should just be grateful that I can even work while I'm tapering because I know many can't.

 

If one good thing came out of the benzo drama it's looking at my life more clearly and seeing what needs to change.

 

I absolutely agree that this detox is teaching me to live with all that life throws at me good bad and ugly.  I never kn we how to cope before and also sought the easy way out.  So here I am 13 years later trying to settle into adult life and explaine to my family why I am so sensitive.  Thank God for the people here who know what its like. 

 

I hope your Jobs getting easier and the days are not so long.  Work for me has been challenging, I am a Trim carpenter and theres some physical demands to my job, I didn't know if I would have to take time off at first because with my fairly aggressive taper I had some really bad weeks.  Now that I am stabilized and I'm finishing my taper with Titration I am more or less just dealing with Cog fog and obsessive intrusive thoughts.  They both come and go and I'm gratefull I can let that happen.  When and if things start getting to hard I just come here and see what others have done for relief.  That always helps. 

[[az...]]

I hate the weekends and I don't even work.

 

 

Me too. There may be nothing much on TV these days but there is less than nothing much on on the weekends! And I'm not well enough to do much else yet.

[[Ra...]]

I am having a terrible time this weekend.  It seems like this is an endless situation. I don't want to make this topic worse for anyone because reading about it is making me very very sad today.  And now I'm adding to it myself. 

 

I am in denial that this is my life.

 

:'( :'(

[[Ca...]]

I'm feeling the same way today.......

[[be...]]

Having technical problems so trying to post again. Hope I don't post repeatedly. We're retired and I hate weekends in case someone "pops in". I love Claire Weekes too. Easy to read but her books really help me a lot. Azalea for $9.99 I got Netflix and it's been a godsend. Distraction is a key word for me. After I write this and hopefully it posts I will fold laundry. Wobbly legs and all. Hope for me is key as is optimism. And a sense of humour whenever possible. I believe we will all heal in time with all my heart. No matter what we face. If I didn't believe this I'd give up. But yes, weekends suck! B

[[az...]]

Thank you! I had no idea it was that affordable. I mean, obviously not much is affordable for me right now, but it is a decent price!! Really appreciate that, thanks. Good post, over-all, too benzo barb.

[[be...]]

You're welcome and often you get the first month free. my daughter got Netflix and told her tv provider to cancel all shows except local ones. So did we. Tv bill dropped $39.00. Actually saved money. The only treat we kept was the sports channel. Be careful though. Ask you phone/tv etc provider how many gigabytes you are allowed each month. We have Telus and they email us when we've used 75 percent. You don't want to go over or they ding you but honestly we watch it on 2 different tvs every night (different movies or shows) and we have never even reached 75 percent let alone 100 percent. I love it. Watch serious stuff, mindless stuff. Total distraction commercial free.  B

[[az...]]

[[so...]]

So on that note, how was everyone's weekend?

 

I kept busy. Saturday was mostly movies and lying in bed (no shame here, I've been working craaaaazy hours and needed the downtime!) and Sunday was mostly house cleaning plus some TV at the end.

 

Symptoms thankfully continued to be super mild. Random pains, jaw tension. Nothing major.

 

I can actually say I enjoyed the past two weekends. I guess I'm making progress. 

[[so...]]

It IS easier to stay busy than to stay positive! Great point! And I have been keeping PLENTY busy lately. Honestly, I don't try to be positive anymore. I just try to face whatever the given moment is handing me. I don't seek huge amounts of neverending happiness and I don't freak out when a bad moment appears. I just live. I wish I had known how to do that before I said yes to benzos! But if that's what it took for me to learn it, then so be it.

 

This is about weekends being harder... ugh today was the opposite. I had the work assignment from hell (I do transcription) and it was more than 12 hours of work. I'm so exhausted. I wouldn't mind if the pay was better, but I guess I should just be grateful that I can even work while I'm tapering because I know many can't.

 

If one good thing came out of the benzo drama it's looking at my life more clearly and seeing what needs to change.

 

I absolutely agree that this detox is teaching me to live with all that life throws at me good bad and ugly.  I never kn we how to cope before and also sought the easy way out.  So here I am 13 years later trying to settle into adult life and explaine to my family why I am so sensitive.  Thank God for the people here who know what its like. 

 

I hope your Jobs getting easier and the days are not so long.  Work for me has been challenging, I am a Trim carpenter and theres some physical demands to my job, I didn't know if I would have to take time off at first because with my fairly aggressive taper I had some really bad weeks.  Now that I am stabilized and I'm finishing my taper with Titration I am more or less just dealing with Cog fog and obsessive intrusive thoughts.  They both come and go and I'm gratefull I can let that happen.  When and if things start getting to hard I just come here and see what others have done for relief.  That always helps.

 

I meant to reply to this too, sorry for two replies in a row! I appreciate the good wishes! My luck with work assignments definitely improved after that one. Still long hours but the work has been enjoyable. It reminded me why I love it and why I still do it.

 

It sounds like you really have a great attitude about your taper! How great that you have been able to continue working! I hope and pray that I don't have to take any off because I really can't afford to (they don't mind but you know, bills to pay). But honestly, the necessity of showing up to earn the money to pay those bills has kept me focused and kept me from giving in to anxiety. I simply don't have time to entertain it! Lol (help.) Lol