Where is the best place to go for benzo recovery?

[[Ti...]]

I need to find a place to recover.  I messed up again last night and gave into the pain by taking 3mg of klonipin before bed.  It did asolutely nothing but make me sleep for 7 hours.  Guys in so sorry and not afraid to admit i have a serious problem.  I'm scared of the intense wirhdrawals i was getting. Massive chest pains and couldn't breathe.  I took the klonipin and it knocked me out.  This morning i feel awful for a number of reasons.  Why can i not do this?  Why am i succumbing to the pressure?  I'm going to die if i dont get a hold of this.  I'm going to lose my future also. I think the biggest reason is i have both deep depression and wirhdrawal and i cant handle it.  Im weak,  i feel like a freaking loser,  and i feel like im never goung to recover from this. 

All the symptons i have are just like everyone else on here,  but for some reason i cent seem to cope.  Ill stay in bed all day today crying because of my mistske. 

I don't know why i cant do this and i don't understand how in ever going to get off of this.  I have buspar , which doesn't work,  and i am on remeron 15mg per night now.  Pdoc upped me yesterday from 7.5mg. 

I need serious help and i finally realize i can't do this alone.  In weak and losing hope that il ever find my life again.  To those who supported me and warned me im sorry. I really am. Itsv not that i didn't listen to you,  it's thst im too weak to deal with the symptons ands in the back of my head know it's going to tske years to withdraw. 

[[Ra...]]

I hope some more seasoned members will respond to you.

 

I hear you asking for help with a problem you are having. That you are very scared. It sounds like, too, that you are being yourself up about it all.

 

If it helps at all, i had tried to make a cut about a month ago and three weeks in i checked myself into the hospital. I didn't think i was ginna make it. My heart was pounding, i was sweating, couldn't maintain my body temp. And emotionally i was done.  In the hospital my blood pressure was up then down. They pout  me back up to a higher dosage to stabilize my body. Tried buspar but it made me feel weird and angry, si i had to get off.

 

And, i am wondering if i need to go to detox and rehab for it, ultimately. because I'm on a low dose anyway and i can't get off it.

 

This is not a weakness! ! If you remove any judgement, it's just what is,right? 

 

I was looking at rehab just in thThe e past couple days. It's hard to know what's right. Are the well advertised better?  Idk. There is one local to me that seems wonderful, but no bells and whistles. straight up alcohol and drugs.

 

I know that i make my situation worse becausei freak out and i dint seem to have the strength to use the skills!! I feel i need help getting my footing. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. When people can't swim, they take lessons.

 

Reach out as much as you to until you finfld that help!!

 

 

 

[[so...]]

Don't be so hard in yourself. At the beginning of NY taper I panicked so much that I wouldn't be able to cope I took a whopping 10mg if diazepam twice in one week on top of my 8mg dose I was tapering. It didn't ness my taper up at all. You just have to get your head in the zone. You CAN do this! Start believing it. Carry on with your taper and do not take another rescue dose. You aren't the only one that has dine this. Just keep trying

[[Ti...]]

Sonia i dis a fast taper in feb and have had several setbacks.  Rust now im not tapering. I'm off, none left.  Now im looking at 2 years of recovery.

[Guest [Le...]]

Sonia i dis a fast taper in feb and have had several setbacks.  Rust now im not tapering. I'm off, none left.  Now im looking at 2 years of recovery.

 

Timmy, how are you coming up with this two-year time frame, since you are not tapering anyway?

 

You managed to stay off benzos for five days, and if you are actually out of benzos now, then you can start counting your days of recovery, beginning now.

 

It will not necessarily take years to recover, unless you continue to get benzos and then take them.

[[Ti...]]

Leslie all i have is mirtazapine.  I'm taking 15mg per night.  I know is goung to tske a while because after 3 months of use i didn't touch any for a long time and nothing improved. No windows.  Do you think if i really stay offc these things i can dwelling a little better by Christmas?

[[be...]]

Leslie all i have is mirtazapine.  I'm taking 15mg per night.  I know is goung to tske a while because after 3 months of use i didn't touch any for a long time and nothing improved. No windows.  Do you think if i really stay offc these things i can dwelling a little better by Christmas?

 

So what is the plan next time things get too rough....outside of going to the ER to get more as you have done in the past. You need a plan.

[[ho...]]

Timmy,

It looks like you took benzos again, please update your signature.  It is very easy to do and if you do that people would have more insight as to your situation.  If you don't know how, ask the mods.  Good luck.

[Guest [Le...]]

Leslie all i have is mirtazapine.  I'm taking 15mg per night.  I know is goung to tske a while because after 3 months of use i didn't touch any for a long time and nothing improved. No windows.  Do you think if i really stay offc these things i can dwelling a little better by Christmas?

 

Stick with the mirt and it should help get you through.

 

Looking at Christmas as a goal is a very good idea - it may give you the incentive you'll need to refrain from taking benzos, so that your CNS will really have a chance to repair itself.

 

If you could do that, you'd have a real chance of seeing improvement that progresses steadily. 

[[Ju...]]

Hi Timmy;

Give the Remeron (Mirtazapine) a chance. There are a lot of people on here using it

to help with the withdrawal, myself included. They tried different dosages,

from 7.5mg to 45 mg, and I found that 15 mg helped w sleep, and also took the

edge off of the anxiety.

  I envy you; you're 3 months off benzos. I don't think that rescue dose of 3mg K means much.

I think your brain won't accept the benzos anymore.

Try not to worry so much !

A totally healthy person will not sleep if they are in constant worry.

Sometimes you have to put the worry aside, and just decided

that you are going to sleep well, and deal with it in the morning. It's a good habit.

Good luck ,

J-man

[[be...]]

Hi Timmy;

Give the Remeron (Mirtazapine) a chance. There are a lot of people on here using it

to help with the withdrawal, myself included. They tried different dosages,

from 7.5mg to 45 mg, and I found that 15 mg helped w sleep, and also took the

edge off of the anxiety.

  I envy you; you're 3 months off benzos. I don't think that rescue dose of 3mg K means much.

I think your brain won't accept the benzos anymore.

Try not to worry so much !

A totally healthy person will not sleep if they are in constant worry.

Sometimes you have to put the worry aside, and just decided

that you are going to sleep well, and deal with it in the morning. It's a good habit.

Good luck ,

J-man

 

No, he reinstated for a week just a few weeks ago, stopped again, and then last night's rescue dose at 5 days in.

[[Ti...]]

Thanks J Man.  Its not really 3 months. I took klonipin for about a week did nothing. Then last night the 3mg kpin.  Today I'm just tired and freaked out.  Very agoraphobic

[[be...]]

Try to stick to one thread. I said this in another thread but if you stay off the benzos no matter how you feel you will heal.  If you keep seeking more you will not. I hate to say it again but unless you take this very seriously and actually listen to some of the very sound advice you've received here there's little anyone can do. Except YOU! So make a PLAN! No more benzos and let the Remeron kick in.  It shouldn't take long. No more running to the ER for more. You might feel like you're dying but you are not! Learn to accept this and you will get well. B

[[Be...]]

fwiw, Remeron is more sedating at the lower doses. At 45mg it loses most of the sleep enhancing properties. 15mg is pretty optimum for sleep (and as an appetite enhancer).

[[be...]]

True Belfast. 15 works for me extremely well but any higher it would have the opposite effect for sure. Timmy is on 15 now so hopefully he can sleep. Lots sleep well on 7.5 but 15 is the max for sedation.

[[Ti...]]

Try to stick to one thread. I said this in another thread but if you stay off the benzos no matter how you feel you will heal.  If you keep seeking more you will not. I hate to say it again but unless you take this very seriously and actually listen to some of the very sound advice you've received here there's little anyone can do. Except YOU! So make a PLAN! No more benzos and let the Remeron kick in.  It shouldn't take long. No more running to the ER for more. You might feel like you're dying but you are not! Learn to accept this and you will get well. B

 

Even after all of the rescue doses?

[[Ma...]]

For me it was my home town a house of my mum.

[[er...]]

go to narcotics anonymous..

[[Sh...]]

I've been following Timmyp's journey.

 

I've spoken up about some of the "tough love" posts.

 

Good luck on your continued journey Timmyp.

 

She

[[be...]]

Try to stick to one thread. I said this in another thread but if you stay off the benzos no matter how you feel you will heal.  If you keep seeking more you will not. I hate to say it again but unless you take this very seriously and actually listen to some of the very sound advice you've received here there's little anyone can do. Except YOU! So make a PLAN! No more benzos and let the Remeron kick in.  It shouldn't take long. No more running to the ER for more. You might feel like you're dying but you are not! Learn to accept this and you will get well. B

 

Even after all of the rescue doses?

 

There is no better day than today to stop taking "rescue" doses.

[[sl...]]

Where should you go to recover?

 

Well, certainly not a place where doctors work!  Maybe a deserted island.  That way you will stop going to the hospital for more benzos.  I know how you feel, but you will never get better until benzos are far behind you.  If you are suicidal, then take something else.  Just get away from the damn benzos! 

[[Ch...]]

I need to find a place to recover.  I messed up again last night and gave into the pain by taking 3mg of klonipin before bed.  It did asolutely nothing but make me sleep for 7 hours.  Guys in so sorry and not afraid to admit i have a serious problem.  I'm scared of the intense wirhdrawals i was getting. Massive chest pains and couldn't breathe.  I took the klonipin and it knocked me out.  This morning i feel awful for a number of reasons.  Why can i not do this?  Why am i succumbing to the pressure?  I'm going to die if i dont get a hold of this.  I'm going to lose my future also. I think the biggest reason is i have both deep depression and wirhdrawal and i cant handle it.  Im weak,  i feel like a freaking loser,  and i feel like im never goung to recover from this. 

All the symptons i have are just like everyone else on here,  but for some reason i cent seem to cope.  Ill stay in bed all day today crying because of my mistske. 

I don't know why i cant do this and i don't understand how in ever going to get off of this.  I have buspar , which doesn't work,  and i am on remeron 15mg per night now.  Pdoc upped me yesterday from 7.5mg. 

I need serious help and i finally realize i can't do this alone.  In weak and losing hope that il ever find my life again.  To those who supported me and warned me im sorry. I really am. Itsv not that i didn't listen to you,  it's thst im too weak to deal with the symptons ands in the back of my head know it's going to tske years to withdraw.

 

There is really no place to recover except at home, unfortunately.  I know it must be hard to not have support at home, but you can do this anyway.  We all either have done so or are doing so. 

 

You will recover, and the sooner you're able to stay off benzodiazepines, the sooner you'll recover, it's that simple.  I wouldn't worry about the adjunct meds, if they help, I'd keep taking them, they'll be much easier to taper from when you're ready. 

 

Hang in there, Timmy... you can do this.  Today's your first day benzo free.  Take it into tomorrow for day two and then just keep on going.

 

[[Wo...]]

doesn't look like timmi is on the active list right now. That's kind of odd.

[[Ti...]]

I need to find a place to recover.  I messed up again last night and gave into the pain by taking 3mg of klonipin before bed.  It did asolutely nothing but make me sleep for 7 hours.  Guys in so sorry and not afraid to admit i have a serious problem.  I'm scared of the intense wirhdrawals i was getting. Massive chest pains and couldn't breathe.  I took the klonipin and it knocked me out.  This morning i feel awful for a number of reasons.  Why can i not do this?  Why am i succumbing to the pressure?  I'm going to die if i dont get a hold of this.  I'm going to lose my future also. I think the biggest reason is i have both deep depression and wirhdrawal and i cant handle it.  Im weak,  i feel like a freaking loser,  and i feel like im never goung to recover from this. 

All the symptons i have are just like everyone else on here,  but for some reason i cent seem to cope.  Ill stay in bed all day today crying because of my mistske. 

I don't know why i cant do this and i don't understand how in ever going to get off of this.  I have buspar , which doesn't work,  and i am on remeron 15mg per night now.  Pdoc upped me yesterday from 7.5mg. 

I need serious help and i finally realize i can't do this alone.  In weak and losing hope that il ever find my life again.  To those who supported me and warned me im sorry. I really am. Itsv not that i didn't listen to you,  it's thst im too weak to deal with the symptons ands in the back of my head know it's going to tske years to withdraw.

 

There is really no place to recover except at home, unfortunately.  I know it must be hard to not have support at home, but you can do this anyway.  We all either have done so or are doing so. 

 

You will recover, and the sooner you're able to stay off benzodiazepines, the sooner you'll recover, it's that simple.  I wouldn't worry about the adjunct meds, if they help, I'd keep taking them, they'll be much easier to taper from when you're ready. 

 

Hang in there, Timmy... you can do this.  Today's your first day benzo free.  Take it into tomorrow for day two and then just keep on going.

 

 

 

Your support means everything to me.  I have no choice now.  Please tell me when the going gets tough that i won't die. ...

 

I'm gonna get theough this.  I think i csn do this by Christmas.  I never drank in my life and never did drugs.  Lol maybe i should have to prepare myself. 

[[Ch...]]

Deal.   

 

I remember feeling like I was going to die, but I tried to keep in mind that everything feels way worse than it really is because the central nervous system is temporarily fried from the benzo.  Your CNS is telling your brain you're really, really bad off but it's not really as bad as it feels.

 

High BP, increased heart rate...your body is hyper-anxious and it manifests itself in all sorts of bizarre ways, but you aren't going to die from this.  I've been on the forum for close to five years and no one's died from withdrawal unless they chose to.  And don't you dare do that.  You have many decades of life ahead.