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Sometimes I worry that my problems are not the Valium


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Hi Buddies,

 

Sometimes I lose sight of the bigger picture and worry that my problems are not from the Valium. I question it because my story of PRN use is very unique. All the doctors told me in the past that you have to take it every day for 3 weeks to become addicted.(although my second opinion doctor said he thinks it's dependance/tolerance)  I've always had day/s in between doses. I really hope this is dependence and tolerance because if not, I probably have MS or some horrible brain thing. Sometimes I think I should take a one off dose of what I know beats panic for me (30mg valium) to see if all the symptoms go away temporarily and that would reassure me this is valium ruining my life. But it would set back my taper so I won't. I guess I'm just after your thoughts. Thank you.

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I think it's normal to be afraid. Our body is betraying us and doctors don't understand the effects.  I get scared at some point every day, sometimes a few times a day because I can't walk without getting tiered after a few minutes. We need to think positive. This stuff is messing with our mind. Fight it!  I know it's hard but we have to accept the Sxs and put up the fight to get off.
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One of the reasons I started my taper off Klonopin was because I found myself needing it to feel normal. I was PRN also and after I'd gone a few days between a dose I got overwhelmingly anxious and needed that pill. It became a see-saw and I started to realize that my baseline really isn't that anxious, it was because of my dependence on the benzo and my sporadic dosing. I still get anxious from time to time since jumping but not nearly as much as I did when I'd gone a couple days between doses.

 

I was reluctant to do a taper because i didn't want to take a daily dose. It felt like I was admitting defeat, that I needed the drug to get by. In the end it was the best way to deal with it because i was able to get stable, do a relatively short taper and kick the monkey to the curb, instead of going back and forth taking doses "when I need it". Now I can deal with all the other messiness of my life without worrying about the drug and it's effect on me.

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The reason I went on ADs and benzos was because I was depressed over life choices and personal and family stress.  Now I'm worse than I ever was before taking anything!  What do they say about hindsight being 20/20 vision?  Well, as I pray for healing, even though I don't deserve it, I continue to pray!
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Hi Buddies,

 

Sometimes I lose sight of the bigger picture and worry that my problems are not from the Valium. I question it because my story of PRN use is very unique. All the doctors told me in the past that you have to take it every day for 3 weeks to become addicted.(although my second opinion doctor said he thinks it's dependance/tolerance)  I've always had day/s in between doses. I really hope this is dependence and tolerance because if not, I probably have MS or some horrible brain thing. Sometimes I think I should take a one off dose of what I know beats panic for me (30mg valium) to see if all the symptoms go away temporarily and that would reassure me this is valium ruining my life. But it would set back my taper so I won't. I guess I'm just after your thoughts. Thank you.

 

I don't necessarily think this is true.  We've had a number of people here who have also used it on and off and still became dependent.  Benzodiazepines down-regulate the body's GABA receptors over time, and it seems like this could happen with intermittent use over time as well.

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I have read on here where it is not uncommon for people to get worried and anxious about health things during benzo withdrawal, most seem to get checked out and find it is just the benzo mind games.

When did you start to have these thoughts/problems?

I also think looking at the threads here you can't say a particular time frame or qty or frequency will give you dependence/addiction. Everyone seems to be different including the ones that can just stop and have a week long case of the I don't feel 100%'s

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Challis makes a great point. I guess if it was me I'd taper down as you feel what's best for you. Don't be afraid. Set a goal and try to do it. Fight it. Beat it and so forth but don't fear it even though that's impossible sometimes. Just do it and be positive about it. I honestly think a full recovery will be in store for you sooner than you think as long as you stick to it. Go for it. B
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Hi Buddies,

 

Sometimes I lose sight of the bigger picture and worry that my problems are not from the Valium. I question it because my story of PRN use is very unique. All the doctors told me in the past that you have to take it every day for 3 weeks to become addicted.(although my second opinion doctor said he thinks it's dependance/tolerance)  I've always had day/s in between doses. I really hope this is dependence and tolerance because if not, I probably have MS or some horrible brain thing. Sometimes I think I should take a one off dose of what I know beats panic for me (30mg valium) to see if all the symptoms go away temporarily and that would reassure me this is valium ruining my life. But it would set back my taper so I won't. I guess I'm just after your thoughts. Thank you.

 

 

Addicted means you develop craving for the drug.  Since benzos don't give a "high" people almost never become addicted to a benzo.

 

But almost all users will become dependent.  Dependent means you will likely feel some symptoms or discomfort if you suddenly discontinue the drug.  And yeah, daily use for 2-3 weeks is probably the "average" threshold for dependence.  First time around, I took 10mg/day for 2 weeks, and had developed some dependency.  YMMV

 

Tolerance simply means the drug no longer provides therapeutic relief.  Tolerance does NOT cause any sxs, although your original sxs will likely return.  Virtually all benzo users will become tolerant to the therapeutic effect.  I began to develop tolerance after about 2 weeks.  Again, YMMV.

 

Remember, benzos do NOT "cure" anything, they only relieve sxs.  If you are still troubled by intermittent panic, and Valium PRN relieves it, I think I would keep taking it as long as it works.

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Thank you so much everyone for the thoughts and encouragement. I really appreciate it.

 

2trusting, the thoughts started in July when I started to become tolerant and I kept running out of my 2 monthly supply early. It got worse everytime it occurred.

 

Builder, I can't keep doing PRN because I only get a certain supply and my tolerance means I need 30mg once every three days instead of 15mg once a fortnight which is what it used to be like. They don't give you more and more where I'm from. The Valium is now causing the sx and making it worse. I know my own body and mind and this sort of anxiety is not normal for me. I'm a bit perplexed why you'd suggest to go PRN?

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Thank you so much everyone for the thoughts and encouragement. I really appreciate it.

 

2trusting, the thoughts started in July when I started to become tolerant and I kept running out of my 2 monthly supply early. It got worse everytime it occurred.

 

Builder, I can't keep doing PRN because I only get a certain supply and my tolerance means I need 30mg once every three days instead of 15mg once a fortnight which is what it used to be like. They don't give you more and more where I'm from. The Valium is now causing the sx and making it worse. I know my own body and mind and this sort of anxiety is not normal for me. I'm a bit perplexed why you'd suggest to go PRN?

  Because, if

 

1) your are still suffering from your original disorder (which I gather is panic), and

 

2)  the benzo relieves the original symptom,

 

then it seems logical to take the benzo, as needed.

 

Folks here on BB seem to completely ignore the fact that in the short run (before you develop tolerance)  benzos are truly wonderful for soothing many nervous disorders (anxiety, panic, insomnia, etc).  I was actually disabled by my anxiety, and borderline suicidal.  When I took my first dose of benzo, I thought it was the most wonderful thing in the world.

 

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Oh I understand now, yeah there was originally bad panic and yes - originally it was a freaking miracle. It was, I haven't forgotten that. But I've developed a new form of anxiety it doesn't seem to treat - in fact sometimes if I take say 15mg I get a huge rebound and it causes a panic attack.

 

I am tolerant now. Believe me, I'd love to be able to pop a valium like I could and all the problems would just go away. I'd love that. But it's not working any more. I can't just up my dose either as mentioned before.

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