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What things do u do for pleasure?


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Hi everyone, this came up on another post and I was going to reply to it but then I thought it maybe would be good to see what everyone  So here are some things I  give myself for "Pleasure" because WD from Xanax is hard enough without mixing it with other WD symptoms:

 

Food: I am on what I call the one meal per day diet. I can have anything I want but I only eat one time per day. I have lost 25 lbs since December and I want to lose another 10-15lbs.

 

Smoking: abt half a pack per day

 

Anti depressant- So many people here and out here have told me I should quit taking my AD. It helps me sleep and I don't want be not sleeping me again. I don't know if that should even go under pleasures because it does not make me happy or feel good.

 

What do you guys think am I lying to myself and really should try giving things up or go on and decide when I feel better from Benzo WD. Can you list anything you do to make yourself happy.

 

So I feel like these things are bad enough and can kill me but would not kill me as fast as drugs would have.

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Davis1 I would give anything to have one ounce of joy.  It has been existent form my life for several years now.  Wish J could help or be a part of this joy experience!
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Joy??? Are you kidding me??? This withdrawal has sucked it from my brain.  I can't even laugh or crack a smile.  I've tried watching comedy  and that is so stupid I can't watch it.  I even get upset when my husband giggles. I just want my personality  back.  It's been hijacked 100%.  I ate a small piece of chocolate cake.  Nothing.  Damn it.
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Joy??? Are you kidding me??? This withdrawal has sucked it from my brain.  I can't even laugh or crack a smile.  I've tried watching comedy  and that is so stupid I can't watch it.  I even get upset when my husband giggles. I just want my personality  back.  It's been hijacked 100%.  I ate a small piece of chocolate cake.  Nothing.  Damn it.

 

Oh no, I hope you will get there soon. Perhaps it helps you to know that I was unable to enjoy while I was taking all my meds... I think I had about 7 years in which I could not enjoy anything, I trained it when I tapered. These benzos are just  :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :ticked off:

 

 

 

 

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Joy??? Are you kidding me??? This withdrawal has sucked it from my brain.  I can't even laugh or crack a smile.  I've tried watching comedy  and that is so stupid I can't watch it.  I even get upset when my husband giggles. I just want my personality  back.  It's been hijacked 100%.  I ate a small piece of chocolate cake.  Nothing.  Damn it.

 

Oh no, I hope you will get there soon. Perhaps it helps you to know that I was unable to enjoy while I was taking all my meds... I think I had about 7 years in which I could not enjoy anything, I trained it when I tapered. These benzos are just  :tickedoff: :tickedoff: :ticked off:

 

I still have a ways to go in my pheno taper but I've been joyless for about 4 years now.  But I havent been med free since then either.  The reinstatement a have been from zero sleep.

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I think I might make some of you angry but I learned a lot things to give me pleasure, and the fact that I am now thinking about which one I should tell you is fantastic!!!!

 

Today I gave pleasure to me with these things:

- cup of special tee

- ice cream

- meeting a friend

- now, sitting in the nearly quiet room (no idea why the neighbors are not be heard perhaps they are dead.. hope...)

- hugged my lovely dog

 

Marigold

 

PS:

And please - stop thinking "then she has never been in the shit I am now". I even enjoy things while being bed-ridden which I was for years in my life with totally zero sleep last night.

Today my lyme desease was so bad my feet were so swollen I had to use old shoes in which I could press them and walking looked like a train had hidden me.. and I cried a lot in the morning.

When I started to practice that, I was angry when my phydoc told me to enjoy because I didn't feel anything and I found it sarcastic to enjoy a cup of tea while crying out of pain. I don't know when I was able to feel again, but it was while I was still tapering.. so perhaps there is the chance others can enjoy things also while they are still tapering or feeling like hell? If not I am hopefully that it will happen after some months..

 

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Hi 1waye and Nanagetwell: I get what you both are saying and I have the exact problem. I'm definitely not jumping for joy when I smoke or eat. I still struggle everyday with the awful symptoms of depression. I am surely not happy myself, who could be with anxiety, depression, dr/dp, cognitive problems and fatigue everyday. I isolate myself away from everyone in the world and it never seems to get a any better. Why am I 9 months out and not getting better.

 

The real point I try to make is I excuse all the bad behavior in my life by telling myself I don't have to stop smoking, if I want to smoke I will smoke. Eat one meal a day of Chinese or pizza or a cheeseburger, or hot dogs it is ok that you do that. I'm losing weight and at least that is one and only positive effect I have gotten. It does make me feel better when I am fitting into my skinny clothes again. When I was still taking pills I had gained a ton of weight and I hated myself for it.

 

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Hi everyone, this came up on another post and I was going to reply to it but then I thought it maybe would be good to see what everyone  So here are some things I  give myself for "Pleasure" because WD from Xanax is hard enough without mixing it with other WD symptoms:

 

Food: I am on what I call the one meal per day diet. I can have anything I want but I only eat one time per day. I have lost 25 lbs since December and I want to lose another 10-15lbs.

 

Smoking: abt half a pack per day

 

Anti depressant- So many people here and out here have told me I should quit taking my AD. It helps me sleep and I don't want be not sleeping me again. I don't know if that should even go under pleasures because it does not make me happy or feel good.

 

What do you guys think am I lying to myself and really should try giving things up or go on and decide when I feel better from Benzo WD. Can you list anything you do to make yourself happy.

 

So I feel like these things are bad enough and can kill me but would not kill me as fast as drugs would have.

 

 

Hey Davis, none of your things sound like pleasure to me ;) but I am sure you can create some more things..

I remember you toughing about a post here, don't know any more which one it was - was this a pleasure? Or reading that you helped someone? So benzobuddies could be some kind of pleasure?

What about air? A fresh breeze, with a deep breath into your lung? Or seeing a young pretty woman somewhere and have a chat? Meeting a friend?

Seeing a kid play?

 

The thing is: Jumping for joy is not the point. You are still a smoker, you might enjoy the cigarette by doing it consciously - I hate that word, but ..

And if there is really nothing - go out for a search until you find something. I did so. But you have to give up self-destructing behaviors. Pleasure cannot come to a person who thinks he is bad and doesn't deserve it.

 

Here comes a hug..

:mybuddy:

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I can't think of anything that brings me pleasure. If I can't even enjoy a neighborhood cookout something is wrong..and I'm jealous u have lost that much weight Lol..
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Hi marigold1, I totally agree with you that my list of things that bring me "pleasure" are terrible habits that will eventually kill me. I do need to find better "pleasures" then these. Another thing I meant to list and I forgot is soda, I drink tons of sugary soda every day. So my whole lifestyle is so bad for me, I need to find habits that are more healthy. But how to do it and I should quit smoking everyone knows that, but I do I really want to crave cigarettes again before I get more healed before I try.

 

ferggie- I'm going to a cookout tomorrow and I dread it like you do. It is hard to see ppl and act like everything is fine, I totally get that and feel that way myself. I don't mean to rub my weight loss in. Since I will only let myself eat once per day usually in the afternoon I'm starving most of the time. It is only a pleasure when I eat the one time per day and it is almost always take out, pizza, cheeseburgers, BBQ, chipotle, ihop etc etc. it may sound easy but its not.

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Davis I was only kidding about being jealous of your weight loss. I'm happy for u. It's important to feel goid about yourself.

U will do fine at the cookout. Try to enjoy it. Mine was ok but I was pretty uptight..

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I had to redefine joy and pleasure during wd. Particularly during the first year it was either absent or very faint. Looking first for just a small decrease in suffering. Here are some things that bring bits of joy/pleasure/relief:

 

--making someone else smile or easing their life in even the smallest way. Like showing interest in a grocery store clerk or asking about someone's kids. Doing small favors for others even when everything feels like I'm climbing a mountain.

--funny or thrilling TV.

--lots of science fiction. Reading post apocalyptic fiction is distracting and reminds me there are situations that are worse than wd or would be worse to be experiencing during wd--war, zombie apocalypse, meteor hitting the planet, pandemic. Silly, I know, but anything that helps me gain some perspective helps.

--connecting with a friend despite the effort.

--hot baths.

--Imgur.com particularly the humor section. It provides distraction and sometime giggles and laughs. It's a great way to spend sleepless nights since I have a blue light filter on my computer.

--walks when the weather is nice.

--listening to David Sedaris (comedian).

--a well made meal.

--sometimes when I'm desperate I'll have some sweets or diet soda for some pleasure.

--massage.

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ferggie - I'm glad you made it through your cookout. I'm sure I will be fine too. The last one on July fourth went tell and everybody seemed happy to see me and I talked with a lot of ppl I have not seen for a while. This is mainly those same people so I think it will be good.

 

MTfan- thanks a lot for the info. I like almost everything on your list it is a lot better than that sad list I made. They are not pleasures at all they are vices I justify doing. I need to stop but this is such a hard process. It makes everything harder to quit.

 

 

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Sleep: I don't limit how much I get when I'm not working, which means I'm sleeping SO MUCH. But I feel like my body or mind must really need it  :laugh: since the other night I slept for 15 hours  :o

 

Food: I indulge in treats. But I did before coming off klonopin too.

 

For real pleasure, I work on my art projects, clean (I enjoy cleaning), read (I hate that I'm having headaches so frequently as it prevents my reading).

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Hi Klonopinupgirl, wow you are getting a lot of sleep. I can only sleep for 6-8 hours but that helps me too. I love reading I have read so many books recently. I read the bible again, I had read it a long time ago but this time it seemed even better. I'm not that religious but that book has everything. I like real life crime novels too. Headaches do suck. What kind of art projects do you do?
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I think I might make some of you angry but I learned a lot things to give me pleasure, and the fact that I am now thinking about which one I should tell you is fantastic!!!!

 

Today I gave pleasure to me with these things:

- cup of special tee

- ice cream

- meeting a friend

- now, sitting in the nearly quiet room (no idea why the neighbors are not be heard perhaps they are dead.. hope...)

- hugged my lovely dog

 

Marigold

 

PS:

And please - stop thinking "then she has never been in the shit I am now". I even enjoy things while being bed-ridden which I was for years in my life with totally zero sleep last night.

Today my lyme desease was so bad my feet were so swollen I had to use old shoes in which I could press them and walking looked like a train had hidden me.. and I cried a lot in the morning.

When I started to practice that, I was angry when my phydoc told me to enjoy because I didn't feel anything and I found it sarcastic to enjoy a cup of tea while crying out of pain. I don't know when I was able to feel again, but it was while I was still tapering.. so perhaps there is the chance others can enjoy things also while they are still tapering or feeling like hell? If not I am hopefully that it will happen after some months..

 

:2funny: :2funny: You are so funny, Marigold. I was thinking the same about my neighbors (not really), but sometimes!!! They just moved in and before that, it was so peaceful. They have dogs and kids and a freakin swimming pool! Sometimes it's just more life than I can handle. God bless them, but I just don't have it in me right now to feel happy for them.

 

I find pleasures in the very small things right now, like you....my dog, fresh air on the deck, short walks, old movies, BB, FB, Gaming, have a store online that I tinker with...and I can't think of anything else at the moment....

 

Davis, if I were you I'd slow down as much as possible on the smokes. I wouldn't quit right now, NO WAY! But, I used to smoke and I would get worse anxiety every time I had a cigarette. Most people that smoke say it actually helps them calm down, you are probably one of them. For me it was the opposite, although it didn't make me smoke any less. I finally quit in 2009. Half a pack daily really isn't bad.

 

I wouldn't give up your AD. I think my AD is helping more than hindering.

 

I think you are doing the best you can, and that's all you can do!    Keep healing!  ~CeCe      :mybuddy:

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I look hard everyday and try to find joy in the smallest of things and I have been doing this for a long time. When I walk I breathe in deep and tell myself look it is a beautiful day the sky is blue and the birds are singing and life is good.

Unfortunately joy continues to allude me.

Maybe I can't find joy, joy will have to find me.

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I look hard everyday and try to find joy in the smallest of things and I have been doing this for a long time. When I walk I breathe in deep and tell myself look it is a beautiful day the sky is blue and the birds are singing and life is good.

Unfortunately joy continues to allude me.

Maybe I can't find joy, joy will have to find me.

 

The same with love, - if you are open it comes to you. Or hope. You cannot create it really, you decide to be open and some day it says hello.. I did it like you and now its a strategy of mine, waking up, feeling like crap and then plan my day with things I enjoy, walking thourhg the world having an eye on the smallest things.. but that took so much time. Go on with that!!

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I value being content, just being OK with things as they are. Having a dose of joy is wonderful but really can't be manufactured. I get pleasure doing things for other people. I make cookies for the mailman, bring vegetables to my neighbors, water a garden for a friend. What brings me pleasure are watching and feeding birds, planting things, looking at art and being creative, cooking, keeping order, walking, watching baseball. Laughing, now that's something I haven't done in a while. I need more laughter. And self soothing, I need that too. I think it's time for a pedicure.
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Hi Everyone, thanks for responding to my post.

 

CeCe- I also like being outdoors, I want to kick myself over smoking because when I got out of rehab I was so sick I could not smoke. I made it 60 days without one cigarette and my mom was so happy. Then bam I started really craving cigarettes so I told myself I could have one and bam I was smoking again. When I was taking pills I would smoke over a pack a day so I have cut down a lot.

 

silveralpha-I know what you mean about finding joy in situations I have the same exact problem. It has been super hard to adjust to my new situation and I'm still struggling to get to know the new person I have become. It is not easy and it is a day by day minute by minute issue.

 

BenzoFree001- I knew what you were going to say. I actually have smoked some weed and now the shit is so strong it fucks me up beyond believe, I don't even know my own name. Maybe you can help me find a young hot Albanian wife. (BTW folks that is an inside joke).

 

Marigold1- It is the small things that really bring joy, not my crazy obsessed self destructing behaviors. Fresh air is nice but it is hot as hell where I live.

 

Benniejets- It sounds like you have some good things going and the most important part to me is that you are giving to others. A friend of mine took me for my first ever pedicure and I loved it, they massage your feet at this place. I need more laughter and joy in my life too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I forgot to add to my list my all time favorite pleasure in the world! BASEBALL!! Love it!! Go Twins!! Too bad they're doing so s****y this year  :'(  I love them good or bad, though...can't wait until next season  ::)
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I forgot to add to my list my all time favorite pleasure in the world! BASEBALL!! Love it!! Go Twins!! Too bad they're doing so s****y this year  :'(  I love them good or bad, though...can't wait until next season  ::)

 

Go Yankees! Soon to be Go Indians!

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