18 - 30 Month Plus Group

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Does anyone ever experience muscle weakness? I'm feeling like I'm being pushed into the ground everything is heavvvvvvvvy......went shopping yesterday without a shopping cart I had seven light small items in arms....well I got stuck in line for a long while......my arms where shaking ....you would of thought I had some 30 pound bag......so weak.......been like this for awhile.....so worried....tight muscles .....now muscle weakness......feel shaky.....oh my...

Marj....do you take curcumin .......if so how much do you take each day....thinking it might help with inflammation in mouth?

Wishing everyone a good day.....you are all so strong.......happy thoughts!

TM

 

 

TM - Yes I have no strength too. I understand what you mean about arms shaking. I feel heavy carrying nothing, like weighed down. Our muscles are affected badly by benzos like everything else, they are evil. We WILL get our strength back

 

I take a couple of capsules of curcumin x4000. It is supposed to be a wonder spice and has powerful antinflammitory properties. I do get paranoid about taking it in WD, but it does help with pain.

 

Yes happy thoughts are what we need.  Our strength is immeasurable, I'm having one of those want to scream at some of the 'normals' at work about how hard this is. They have no idea...........

 

Keerp going TM 

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http://www.wellnessresources.com/health/articles/curcumin_helps_offset_stress_boosting_adrenals_and_memory/

 

Not sure if this will help

[[Mi...]]

Texas, I have the same thing as well...  No fun. It seems the further out I get the better my mental state gets and the worse my physical pain gets..  I find this common from reading on this form.  Our healing must start in our brains and then start to repair our body's, idk if that makes sense to you all.

 

Marj, The turmeric/ curcumin is excellent!

And yes I truly know all about wanting to scream at the normal folk!

 

Korbe,  I am almost 24 months and totally understand the physical stuff.  I hate the boatiness.  I hadn't had it for a few months and got a good dose that lasted a week. Just left me today.  Mentally I am close to you. About 80%. But I find my anxiety really flares up concerning all of this physical stuff.  I never used to have anxiety like this and now have endless health fears and high anxiety. 

 

I have one of my old Sx back the whole throat tightening/ closing feeling!  I really really hate this one.....

 

Sofa,  I had a wonderful wonderful window sometime around 14 months give or take. I truly thought I was on my way to healed. Went on a family vacation Memorial Day Wknd, ect...  Idk if it was a coincidence or not?.  Who knows but I ended up with a uti which turned into a kidney infection. Had a bad reaction to the antibiotics hives ect.  So I was on high doses of Benadryl. They put me on a new antibiotic that Q family everyone here including Ashton says to stay away from. Well after two doses of that I was in acute. So third antibiotic.......  Anyways long story short my window closed.  Who knows maybe it would have anyways?...  I am sure all of this certainly did not help but I highly doubt it added on almost another full year of healing?...  Would have should have could have.........

 

 

Sending you all hugs from Minnesota!   

 

I am on my way out to get grocery ect... 

Snow and 20 below zero coming.  YIKES!

Why I live in this wretched state I have no idea? 

I suppose it would have a little something to do with family. But the older I get the more I figure they can come visit, right?

 

I think when I fully heal I am definitely going to change a lot of things.  Living in MN just may be one of them.  I think the Ocean and the sun sounds wonderful.  I have never been. I think partially because I know when I get there I will never come back home, lol!

[[so...]]

Jenn,

 

2016 is our year, January is our month.

[[Te...]]

Thanks y'all for the pep talk........needed some positive thoughts....you all are so awesome..

 

Thanks Marj......for info......hugs!

 

TM

[[dr...]]

I had a two our work meeting.  As most of you know meetings are my nemesis.  The meeting went way longer than I thought it would and my brain started to act up.  Eyes painful, scalp now hurts, and clicked my jaw 1000 times.  While super uncomfortable it was an actual improvement over a few months ago.  Back then I'd get panic, bad head pains, and feelings like brain was frying.  Lots of sweating too.  I didn't have any of those last symptoms so I'll take it. Just so damn slow.

[[St...]]

Hey everyone, i'm almost 14 months since c/t and still yet to have a window. The last two months have probably been my worse yet as i had a flu virus that is just passing now, which sent my symptoms into overdrive. I'm having one of those "there must be something else wrong with me days". A friend put the idea of a possible B12 deficiency in my head, symptoms of which include fatigue and tingling hands and feet which is one of my most annoying symptoms. I've had a blood test recently that said my B12 result was fine but then you find a load of research online to say the standard B12 blood test doctors perform isn't accurate enough etc.

 

I guess i just wanted to check with you all that there are some of you 14 months out or further that still have constant tingling in your hands and feet? It's literally there for me as soon as i open my eyes in the morning and all day unless i'm doing something to distract myself. However i do know that the tingling only started for me shortly after jumping c/t.

 

Thanks a lot

 

[[dr...]]

Stuck,

 

It sounds to me your symptoms are from withdrawal.  I've been on this board for several years and I can think of only a few times where the symptoms were causedbyvsomething else.  Everyone of us have been tested for a million things and we might have some deficiencies but TE main cause is withdrawal. 

It is also completely normal for new things to show up after a year out which can be scary and annoying. 

[[Te...]]

Stuck.....I have the same symptoms.....have had b12 tested many times....shows normal....

Tingling is so bad some days then other days I don't even notice it much....but it's usually replaced with a different symptom or should I say symptoms......

 

Have you had your biotin level tested....if this is low it can cause tingling.....mine was in normal range

 

I'm sure it's all withdrawl....just pray for all of us to stop this suffering.....we sure have put in our time...

 

Hugs

TM

[[Sk...]]

Jenn,

 

2016 is our year, January is our month.

 

Hi all, just re-posting this ! Definitely worth it !  :)

[[Mi...]]

[[Aq...]]

 

2016 is our year, January is our month.

 

I hope so!  Sitting at 23 months now.  Tis very frustrating.  If I look back, I would say my 'safe zone' baseline is improved for sure, but honestly, my social anxiety is worse.  Very hard for my in restaurants, meetings, stores etc.  I get very dizzy and panicky and feel like I am going to pass out, STILL!!  Hoping for some relief soon.  Hope you all are well.

[[Mi...]]

Aquaval,

 

This happens to me still.  Never had it before, I would say it's a 50/50 shot at how my mind/body will react at a event. Even a movie with my hubby it's 50/50!  I absolutely hate this part of the journey.  The anxiety, weird fears ect... 

For me this is the absolute worst part!! I can handle the aches and pains but this Anxiety forget it!

When this finally goes away I will consider the worst part over! 

Drew said his really went away fast.  I am praying mine will finally leave me really really soon.

 

[/b I wonder how many of us are still dealing with this wretched Anxiety/ Fears?

And those lucky ones not dealing with it, when did it go away? 

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21 months off today.

 

I'm so grateful that those 21 months are behind me now. I really though that ALL this would be well and truly behind me now. Yes it is very frustrating and at times distressing, I had a lot of tears this weekend as I've been in pain and felt so sensitive, just waiting for the next thing to 'set me off'. My muscles, tendons and ligaments, especially in my neck, head and upper back feel like sort of rubber bands that are so tight, like someone has got hold of them and is twisting them tighter and tighter and I used to be so flexible. I've also had some numb feelings this weekend especially on the right side, I've been reassured it's all WD, doesn't make it any more comfortable.

 

It was my nieces birthday yesterday and I had to decline going out for a family meal. just couldn't face it, plus so sick of certain family members dismissing what we have to go through as us being rather flaky. Wanted to say, just try being in my shoes for 1 hour and then tell me I'm neurotic, not that anyone has said that, it's the way they look at you and act ugh!!!

 

Anyway, well done to me for enduring such horribleness for so long. IT WILL GET BETTER AND WE ARE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF IT NOW 

[[dr...]]

Marj-congrats on 21.  We all know how you feel.  I had the same thoughts yesterday.  On the muscle thing...look at my post I wrote yesterday on the exercise thread.  Same exact description you just wrote!

 

"Okay....daily observation...ALL of my muscles have no flexibility even though only some are tight each day😁omg!  I knew I was out of shape but this is ridiculous.  I did twenty minutes of attempting gentle stretches and it was so bad. It's like someone twisted my muscles tighter and tighter like a rubberband for the last few years of this mess.   A daily stretching routine has just jumped the line to the most important activity I need to do".

[[dr...]]

Aquaval,

 

This happens to me still.  Never had it before, I would say it's a 50/50 shot at how my mind/body will react at a event. Even a movie with my hubby it's 50/50!  I absolutely hate this part of the journey.  The anxiety, weird fears ect... 

For me this is the absolute worst part!! I can handle the aches and pains but this Anxiety forget it!

When this finally goes away I will consider the worst part over! 

Drew said his really went away fast.  I am praying mine will finally leave me really really soon.

 

[/b I wonder how many of us are still dealing with this wretched Anxiety/ Fears?

And those lucky ones not dealing with it, when did it go away?

 

Miss Jen-I still have bouts with it as I am far from anxiety free.  What is mostly gone is those complete days of chemical anxiety.  I still get hit like aqua does at movies, meetings, restaurants(but it is less...no more bad panics usually just the other fun stuff such as eye pain/brain stuff/ and trouble breathing).  It has gone to mostly being caused by an event instead of random times.  If I don't do much I will usually feel okay. 

Last night I had a terrible night of sleep waking every hour and I had eye pain/headache.  That usually would had led to a bad day of palps and crazy anxiety.  I have no palps and the anxiety is here but way less than a few months ago. 

[[so...]]

Jenn and Drew,

 

I have high chemical anxiety too.  I can handle the rest of the stuff, but the anxiety plows me under.

 

Love, Sofa

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Marj-congrats on 21.  We all know how you feel.  I had the same thoughts yesterday.  On the muscle thing...look at my post I wrote yesterday on the exercise thread.  Same exact description you just wrote!

 

"Okay....daily observation...ALL of my muscles have no flexibility even though only some are tight each day😁omg!  I knew I was out of shape but this is ridiculous.  I did twenty minutes of attempting gentle stretches and it was so bad. It's like someone twisted my muscles tighter and tighter like a rubberband for the last few years of this mess.   A daily stretching routine has just jumped the line to the most important activity I need to do".

 

Uncanny Drew,

 

I imagine my muscles, tendons etc as taught rubber bands and sometimes I feel them twang. Can't wait foe them to just give in why don't you?

 

I have anxiety too at times, I can deal with it though usually by walking. It's negative thoughts that do me every time. They are the pits and make me cry. 

[[Ko...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

Don't have the anxiety you all describe.  I suffer from body pain. I feel like I've been run over by a truck. Also, the boatiness is awful. Can't do much when one is so off balance. Legs still stinging really bad. Have some stinging on inner arms too. At 26 months out I thought I'd be through with this.

 

What do you all mean by chemical anxiety?

 

 

[[so...]]

Hi Korbe,

 

I'm so sorry you suffer with pain.  That is very tough.

 

For me, the chemical anxiety is something I feel inside me, a restlessness at first, then it quickly builds to full blown anxiety, complete with heart racing, palps, air hunger, etc.  It is not triggered by an outside stressor, rather it is a chemical storm inside my brain and nerves that just keeps growing until I'm in the middle of the storm.  Ugh.  It's no fun.

 

Yesterday, for the first time in WD, I was able to keep it at bay.  I'm hoping this is a good sign.

 

Korbe, you are nearing the end of WD.  Most of the success stories I've read report healing around the 2 year mark, give or take a few months.  Hang in there, Korbe.  You are nearly done with this.

 

Love, Sofa

 

[[ci...]]

sofa, agree. Most success stories I have read indicated significant healing around the 2 year mark.

[[so...]]

Cindys,

 

How are you feeling?  You and Drew and Marj and TM and Jenn are coming up on the 2 year mark soon!  Wow.  Did I leave anybody out?

[[Mi...]]

Sofa,  Wonderful discription of chemical anxiety! 

 

I tried something new this wk.  Instead of just mentally noting the Sx I still have day to day. And getting down about each remaining Sx,  Which seem to change daily now....  Kind of like spin the wheel! Anyways, I have rated them.  It's really helped me see HUGE progress. And has given me a way to really notice the healing that has happened this year. As in today.  I was ache and extremely tired today but I never had extreme pains or DR. And have been really sleeping a lot lately. Where as before I barely slept during the night let alone naps! Which I am sure are very much so needed as our body's continue healing..  So instead of just noting to myself still in WD, this sucks ect...  I rated my Sx and realized how much better I actually am.  I had pretty much zero panic today. My throat tightening sensation got the better of me for about 20 minutes which flared a great deal of anxiety but it was only 20 minutes worth not the entire day! (These throat sensations have been kicking my butt lately.... ).  So I guess when I look at the big picture and compare WOW! It really has made a big impact on me this wk. Idk if I am finally healing a bit more or what.  But, this week has been odd to say the least.  You guys know how I hate leaving town, lol.  Well we traveled an hour to a hockey game and when we pulled into the arena I was completely blown away by the fact that I hadn't even noticed an hour passed or looked for the nearest hospitals while driving.  Idk what is going on but it's very welcomed. 

 

Marj and Drew,  I totally can relate to the muscle tension ect...  I actually started stretching about a wk or so ago. And, didn't really realize how inflexible I had become.  Everything is so tight.  I used to be able to bend like a gymnast.  And now getting into more yoga and finding it extremely difficult. It really was shocking!

 

Hope you are all doing well,

Sending Hugs from MN, 25 below zero today!

[[ci...]]

sofa, Thanks for thinking of me.....how do I feel is a tough question. IDK. My answer depends on the time of the day or night. During the day, working is  great distraction. Night time and no sleep, insomnia is brutal. I have to look back at a year to see progress, if I look back 6-8 months, I see none. But I am so grateful the mental sxs are gone, and I am happy again.

 

I still struggle with nerve burning sensations, bladder spasms, night sweats, insomnia.

 

I just want to get my confidence back , where I can trust my body and mind again.

 

It is somewhat bittersweet, but I am glad we don't see Jenny21, coop, HH, green ice posting much anymore, I take that as a good sign!

[[Ko...]]

Hi Korbe,

 

I'm so sorry you suffer with pain.  That is very tough.

 

For me, the chemical anxiety is something I feel inside me, a restlessness at first, then it quickly builds to full blown anxiety, complete with heart racing, palps, air hunger, etc.  It is not triggered by an outside stressor, rather it is a chemical storm inside my brain and nerves that just keeps growing until I'm in the middle of the storm.  Ugh.  It's no fun.

 

Yesterday, for the first time in WD, I was able to keep it at bay.  I'm hoping this is a good sign.

 

Korbe, you are nearing the end of WD.  Most of the success stories I've read report healing around the 2 year mark, give or take a few months.  Hang in there, Korbe.  You are nearly done with this.

 

Love, Sofa

 

Sofa,

Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad I don't suffer chemical anxiety, it sounds awful. So glad you seem to be getting a handle on it.  I do get an anxiety of sorts called Akathesia. This is probably chemical too. I just get a strange feeling inside, then all if a sudden I can't sit still and have to keep pacing until it leaves. It occurs in the middle if the night when I'm trying to sleep and lasts a couple of hours.

It's  Horrible.

 

I know that most people heal around 2 yrs and I hope I will. Many take longer, closer to 3 yrs. I hope this pain eases up a little and the boatiness subsides some. That would help me start to get back to normal little by little.

 

All of us are very close to healing we just need to hang on as best we can.