18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[so...]]

Such beautiful posts on the thread today!

 

I am in the thick of anxiety and panic with "this is the new me" garbage.  Clutching my pillow and panting morning.  Racing heart.  Ugh.

 

Siggy, I understand your anger and frustration completely.  We will heal and the memories of our suffering will be a blip on the radar screen. 

 

Nova, you are brave and consistent and just plain lovely.  You will get beyond this flare up and come out the other side with a jump in your baseline.  Maybe 100%!

 

Drew, your words inspired me to focus on what this journey has positively given me.  New appreciation for everything I had taken for granted.  I will reread your words often, along with Nova's words of wisdom, Siggy's empathy, Jen's encouragement, and everyone else's contribution to our collective healing.

 

We will get beyond this and live our healed lives to the fullest.

 

Love, Sofa

[[so...]]

Boy, this is rough today, buddies.....really rough.  Anxiety, gastro problems....bummer.  Sorry for the rant.  I try to be positive, but it's so hard sometimes.  Sorry, guys.

[[No...]]

Hi Sofa ... another white knuckle day for you ... I had a few moments this morning ...

 

Yes ... we just keep moving on ...

 

Today's positive for me ... the soup is delicious ... another successful distraction ...

 

Hope things settle out for you and you can find some enjoyment today ... 

[[so...]]

Thank you, Nova.

[[No...]]

Sofa ... did you forget Rule 63 ... no apology's for rants allowed ... 

 

We can rant ... or we can apologize ... multi-tasking can be confusing ... 

 

Hang on my friend ... this rush will pass ... you have there here before ... and you will get through this one ...

 

Maybe a go slow day for you ... 

[[dr...]]

It'll pass sofa...it always does.

 

Nova-making braised rabbit with mustard and fennel. 

[[Mi...]]

Hello Everyone! Hope you all had a great wknd! 

I have managed to stay in the grey area today! 

No major anxiety, tummy, or throat stuff! 

 

Little bit of rapid heart rate but it seems to go as quick as it comes on! Accompanied with facial flushing and hotness!  It's amazing how these old sx can come back! But at least is not in full intensity!

 

Today I actually volunteered at my sons hockey!  Took on a 3 hour shift of greeting and handing out jerseys for tryouts!  I know it doesn't seem like a lot, but it was a huge step for me!  As I am not working and usually committing to something is a huge stressor! So making plans isn't in my vocabulary right now!  I was a little nervous but it went ok!  I was able to stay with no big anxiety and my heart even raced while I was there for a good 15/20 minutes! 

 

So idk but I could definitely get used to this Grey area! 

Not Great Not Bad!  Just being ok is fine by me!

 

[[Si...]]

Thanks for the support everyone.

 

Nova, glad your soup turned out well

 

Drew, enjoy your dinner as well.

 

Sofa, thanks for the positivity. I really needed it today.

 

Jen, glad you got out and had some fun.

 

I have of course felt terrible all day. Ended up going and running errands and shopping with my wife and some of her family. So a good distraction instead of wallowing in sorrow all day. I'm always paranoid even about sleeping on night after I barely have. Hoping I can fall asleep easily. Hope everyone else use having a nice night.

[[dr...]]

Hello Everyone! Hope you all had a great wknd! 

I have managed to stay in the grey area today! 

No major anxiety, tummy, or throat stuff! 

 

Little bit of rapid heart rate but it seems to go as quick as it comes on! Accompanied with facial flushing and hotness!  It's amazing how these old sx can come back! But at least is not in full intensity!

 

Today I actually volunteered at my sons hockey!  Took on a 3 hour shift of greeting and handing out jerseys for tryouts!  I know it doesn't seem like a lot, but it was a huge step for me!  As I am not working and usually committing to something is a huge stressor! So making plans isn't in my vocabulary right now!  I was a little nervous but it went ok!  I was able to stay with no big anxiety and my heart even raced while I was there for a good 15/20 minutes! 

 

So idk but I could definitely get used to this Grey area! 

Not Great Not Bad!  Just being ok is fine by me!

 

 

That's all healing!

[[Te...]]

Hi everyone .....I haven't even really read much threads in the last day.....not doing very well..

Yesterday my mouth issues went to another level of pain......the numbness has moved from the upper top left to the entire mouth....some kind of weird numbness like feeling....my taste has increased along with burning....scary crap.....I have in laws visiting so it even makes the whole issue worse....maybe better cause I have to hide the pain......oh my mouth is hell.....worried my nerves must be shot in mouth and face.....

Has anyone in their lovely journey ever had some weird type of mouth numbess and taste that just takes over your whole existence ?

Sorry ...a burden....just ....don't feel great.......TM

[[Si...]]

Hi TX,

 

Sorry you're having mouth problems. Luckily I haven't had to deal with that. Nothing surprises me about this garbage though. Hope it starts feeling better soon.

 

I went to bed around 11:30 last night and fell asleep relatively easily. Popped up wide awake around 6:30 am and couldn't go back to sleep.

[[No...]]

Well ... the neck thing seems to have settled down ... so I have the head pressure and the sneezes this morning ... never boring around here ...

 

Have a good day everyone ...

[[Si...]]

Well ... the neck thing seems to have settled down ... so I have the head pressure and the sneezes this morning ... never boring around here ...

 

Have a good day everyone ...

 

Glad your neck thing is sorting out some. I hate the head pressure with a passion. Even though I slept last night, I'm still super depressed. I really hope I can get to sleep tonight.

[[No...]]

Siggy ... we just do the best we can ... and then we reload for tomorrow ...

[[be...]]

Siggy ... we just do the best we can ... and then we reload for tomorrow ...

 

Truth!!

[[Si...]]

Where is everyone today? I just have this crushing depression. Are there really many people that only took this junk for a month doimg as bad as me this far out? I feel like so many short time people are doing a lot better than me. I'm going out of my mind.

[[He...]]

Hi Everyone,

Well, this late wave has not let up yet and I'm dealing with chest, neck, and head pressure.  I hate "the squeezes" with a passion!  I've had the chest and head pressure before, but the neck thing is something new.  This go-round has caused my old health anxiety to rear up, and I have been finding myself taking my pulse just to see if it is acting normally.  It's not fun to have had a respite for a significant period of time and then have a late wave pop up, but it is what it is.  Dusting off my coping strategies as best I can to ride this out until it passes....which I know it will.  As Nova pointed out, we simply reload for tomorrow.

 

I wonder how long the occasional wave will randomly pop up.  This one has been up and down for about 2 weeks.  I keep trying to remind myself that I DO know how to get through these.

 

Lots of love and healing sent your way!

HH

 

   

[[He...]]

Where is everyone today? I just have this crushing depression. Are there really many people that only took this junk for a month doimg as bad as me this far out? I feel like so many short time people are doing a lot better than me. I'm going out of my mind.

 

Hi Siggy,

I'm sorry you are struggling so much!  Are you able to go for a walk?  That always seems to help me when I am struggling. 

I think that there is no pattern to how this medication can affect a person.  I have read about many who took it for a very short period of time and had a very hard withdrawal.  The only consistent thing is that EVERYONE HEALS.  You will, too.  It is just a matter of getting through it. 

Hang in there. 

[[Si...]]

Hi Everyone,

Well, this late wave has not let up yet and I'm dealing with chest, neck, and head pressure.  I hate "the squeezes" with a passion!  I've had the chest and head pressure before, but the neck thing is something new.  This go-round has caused my old health anxiety to rear up, and I have been finding myself taking my pulse just to see if it is acting normally.  It's not fun to have had a respite for a significant period of time and then have a late wave pop up, but it is what it is.  Dusting off my coping strategies as best I can to ride this out until it passes....which I know it will.  As Nova pointed out, we simply reload for tomorrow.

 

I wonder how long the occasional wave will randomly pop up.  This one has been up and down for about 2 weeks.  I keep trying to remind myself that I DO know how to get through these.

 

Lots of love and healing sent your way!

HH

 

 

 

Hi HH, Sorry you're in a wave too.

 

Lately I seem to be on a cycle of a wave lasting about a week and then maybe a week or two of a window or at least some days of not being great but not terrible. The waves are intense though. I guess since I'm at 17 months I'm getting extremely fatigued by it all. Especially the insomnia. It's just really really beating me down. I had some hope this would end months ago, but now I'm loosing that hope. It's wearing my poor wife out too. She snapped at me yesterday about having her own problems and stress, which I totally agree with her about. I was never a needy person before this. It's just tearing me up inside.

[[dr...]]

Hey sigs... I just got home. Completed my tie buying mission. Got nine ties 60% off at Macy's. Score!  I did the "fast shop" in an out in 15 minutes!  I guess we are all good at that. It was in an area of the city w big crowds, tons of construction, and temporary narrow covered walkways.  What could go wrong?   Symptoms revved but it was obvious why.  Other than that I've been managing.  Very happy even post migraine aura my symptoms are manageable and less than ever since I jumped. These days used to be the worse.  At time like this I feel optimistic. I'm still symptomatic but I can deal with it all as the anxiety and DR is not here much at all.

 

Whether it's one month or ten years there is no rhyme or reason.  Which you know. One thing you may want to consider is while this may seem f*cked that this can happen after only a month at least you weren't on the stuff and sick for at least 5 years possibly more before figuring it out.  This drug has stolen twenty years from me total.  Just a way to keep this in perspective.  Also, remember we all do heal as I can tell you aren't a loon w many problems deeper than the meds causing it.  Some people on this site have real mental illness and they will never be better.  I don't care whether that is PC or not. It's the truth. 

 

Nova-glad your symptom of neckiness(my name for it) is receding.

 

Hi Beulah.

 

HH-this wave shall pass as you know. Trying to guesstimate the length is like trying to guess how many lines of eloquent writing nova will churn out next. 

[[Si...]]

Where is everyone today? I just have this crushing depression. Are there really many people that only took this junk for a month doimg as bad as me this far out? I feel like so many short time people are doing a lot better than me. I'm going out of my mind.

 

Hi Siggy,

I'm sorry you are struggling so much!  Are you able to go for a walk?  That always seems to help me when I am struggling. 

I think that there is no pattern to how this medication can affect a person.  I have read about many who took it for a very short period of time and had a very hard withdrawal.  The only consistent thing is that EVERYONE HEALS.  You will, too.  It is just a matter of getting through it. 

Hang in there. 

 

Thanks for the reply! You're so sweet. I've been avoiding taking any other meds this whole time. I've been tempted to try an A/D, but every time I read about them, it scares me. I'm just looking for some relief and there is none to be found. I maybe had very very mild anxiety before this that I could just drink a beer or two to take the edge off. Now I can't even do that.

[[dr...]]

What's up sig? I ain't so sweet too?

[[Si...]]

Hey sigs... I just got home. Completed my tie buying mission. Got nine ties 60% off at Macy's. Score!  I did the "fast shop" in an out in 15 minutes!  I guess we are all good at that. It was in an area of the city w big crowds, tons of construction, and temporary narrow covered walkways.  What could go wrong?   Symptoms revved but it was obvious why.  Other than that I've been managing.  Very happy even post migraine aura my symptoms are manageable and less than ever since I jumped. These days used to be the worse.  At time like this I feel optimistic. I'm still symptomatic but I can deal with it all as the anxiety and DR is not here much at all.

 

Whether it's one month or ten years there is no rhyme or reason.  Which you know. One thing you may want to consider is while this may seem f*cked that this can happen after only a month at least you weren't on the stuff and sick for at least 5 years possibly more before figuring it out.  This drug has stolen twenty years from me total.  Just a way to keep this in perspective.  Also, remember we all do heal as I can tell you aren't a loon w many problems deeper than the meds causing it.  Some people on this site have real mental illness and they will never be better.  I don't care whether that is PC or not. It's the truth. 

 

Nova-glad your symptom of neckiness(my name for it) is receding.

 

Hi Beulah.

 

HH-this wave shall pass as you know. Trying to guesstimate the length is like trying to guess how many lines of eloquent writing nova will churn out next.

 

Thanks so much for the reply drew, it means a lot to me. Glad you got some ties. 9 should give you enough to rotate easily. I told you before, I'm a big fan of Macy's. I do try to keep things in perspective, it's really hard sometimes as we all know. Glad you're feeling a little better.

 

Have to eat dinner now. Wife made chicken and dumplings.

[[dr...]]

I already have twenty so I can donate at least ten that I'm sick of. Yeah...Macy's has some real nice stuff that's not silly expensive. 

 

Oh...dinner sounds good. I'm going w pan roasted chicken thighs, sweet potato fries, and broccoli.  The dumplings sound great and I miss them being gluten free.

 

Perspective is always a battl on this journey. We need our buddies to smack it back into us sometimes. 

[[No...]]

Drew ... of course you are sweet ... real syrupy ... 

 

Neckiness ... good word ... yep ... that passed and I spent the day coughing and sneezing ... what a rodeo this is ... you ride one and they make you get on another ...

 

Have a good evening ...