18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[No...]]

Sofa ... would be nice if it did lift before end of day ... not too hopeful ... and expectant ... looking for that dime this stuff is supposed to change on ... 

[[Te...]]

Last night was terrible....prickly ....tingling.....all over body ....and face.....was up for 4hours....

Had a complete melt down......today .....severe burning mouth and lips.....I don't know what I'm doing wrong......

 

Hope everyone had a great day!

 

TM

[[dr...]]

TM-sorry your having a melt down.  They happen to all of us from time to time.

 

Nova-you didn't die for the 9876th time?  me neither   Meeting went as well as I hoped.  Had some issues but no panics.  Head felt weired but it didn't ramp to the pain level.  Home now and unwinding.

[[be...]]

TM-sorry your having a melt down.  They happen to all of us from time to time.

 

Nova-you didn't die for the 9876th time?  me neither   Meeting went as well as I hoped.  Had some issues but no panics.  Head felt weired but it didn't ramp to the pain level.  Home now and unwinding.

 

Actually drew, I think it was 9877th time for Nova..I'm counting. I didn't die either.

[[so...]]

Just got back from pharmacy.  Doctor prescribed beta blocker for racing heartbeat of 106.  Wants me to wear another Holter minister for 2 weeks this time since the 24 hour monitor showed nothing.  Took less than half a pill.  Heart rate went back down to its usual 80-85 BPM but blood pressure was already low at 100/65 so I'm watching it.  Hope I didn't screw myself up.

[[so...]]

:idiot:Not Holter minister--monitor.  I would have a hard time carrying around a Holter minister.

[[so...]]

Sorry about the small font size.  Don't know how that happens.

[[ci...]]

Hey Guys, I have been folowing this group from the 6-12 months and 12-18 months and now this thread 18-30. Can someone tell me who has healed from the original group? I think life4me, FJ, HH? I think Jenny 21 is doing much better.

 

So, who has healed and what month did they recover?

 

Thanks, Cindy

[[Mi...]]

Nova,

 

Remember you don't lose what you've accomplished! I think I got that from you!  I know this wave is no fun at all!  Hopefully everything will improve greatly for you after this doozie! You never know, maybe your next window will be your forever window!

And yes, knowing where we are doesn't fix anything!  Knowing we are safe again, Oh Nova I am really trying to accept that! Do you really think we are far enough along that we are safe again???  I know I need to get out of my own way, but I long for that warm fuzzy feeling of safety! I am always waiting for the day this roller coaster ride derails completely off the tracks! That feeling of safety seems to be a higher reach than the stars in the sky most days! 

 

Healing Hope,

 

I sure hope yesterday's set back is long gone in the rear view mirror! and you have found your permanent sun break again! 

 

 

Drew,

 

So glade your mtg went well! No panic or major pain that's just wonderful news! Keep it up you are doing so great!

 

 

Texas MaMa,

 

I am all to familiar with the terrible, prickly, tingly all over face and body thingy! I hope you know you are truly doing nothing wrong!

 

 

Cindy,

 

I just joined in this thread not to long ago. I don't know who has healed! But hoping many have!

 

 

Sofa,

 

I really know nothing about the beta blockers! But, I remember the heart beat all to well! I think it's permanently etched into my brain!  I was scared and didn't deal well with this one!  I actually took my heart rate and BP so much my arm swelled and bruised real bad! My hubby used to try and hide it! But, I always found it!  I am so sorry this is happening to you!  I know we all heal at our own time and in different ways! But if it helps 90% of the time the whole heart rate thing is just fine! I hardly even think about it anymore unless I am having a episode! 

 

Sending everyone lots of love and wishing you all a peaceful nights sleep and a beautiful sun break tomorrow!

 

                    :smitten:

 

[[Co...]]

Hi 18-30 peeps.....wow, lots going on here in the past day or 2... on it goes.

    HH.... man, so sorry you got hit with a panic..  you handled it so well...yes, last year I marveled at yours ( and Peace's) ability to teach every day in the grip of panics and d/r and depression etc etc. So glad you came on and posted. We all love your story, posts and inspiring words....wish this post was was all about you being healed and 100%..  HH I know you are going to be back at your 100%... maybe you are coming down with a virus ? .  ( toxic kids)....I hope you get some extra rest and this passes.....never to return...

    NOVA....well Nova ....that is just crap.. . crap ! Your conversation with she who must be obeyed makes complete sense to me....knowing where we are, even if it's in the middle of a wave doesn't make it better but it makes it familiar and practiced and those close to us have been riding the loop with us for so long as well . They by now recognize the pattern and speak the language of w/d with fluency..  I am just so sorry to see you back in the soup.  Damn. ....I am wishing you a return to those 95% days of clarity and 'normal'.  normal with a chance of bounce.  Thinking of you Nova.  .love to you dear friend.

      DREW.  The Wheel of Misfortune...lol.  love that.  Perfect visual..  round and round the wheel goes, on which sx it lands no one knows.  A chance to win a strategy on the puzzle board of w/d.... And Vanna is no help.  Hang on Drew, you are going to take the bonus round. ...

    I am still right at 85%-90%...just can't get through this last little stretch, but I am not about to complain. Still fatigued by 4pm  and still have plenty of health fear...some  cycling moments of chemical anxiety ...funky vision from time to time. Once in awhile a few moments of panic that I can catch at the onset and back it down. .. Things are good and I am living my life.

      Thinking of every one on this thread and wishing bright windows.....coop

[[Mi...]]

My day was a little different today!  Idk exactly how to describe it!  My anxiety was there and uncomfortable at times but no big panics! Which is sad to say but successful! I managed to stay put together! Picked up my birthday girl from school early for a date! I can't believe my baby girl is 11!  I managed lunch and our spa day! When my hubby and son got home we went bowling! And then had all my family over for dinner and cake!  I had a few bouts with anxiety but was able to stay on course!  My thin small string I was hanging on to this morning supported me through!  My throat never felt like it was closing and my stomach was mostly normal!  Now if I could get this elephant feeling off my chest and relax a bit! I know I shouldn't complain I just hate this anxiety! And the head games it creates! It really is just horrible! And by far my absolute worse sx! But I am trying to remember all the things that didn't happen today! All the sx that didn't rev up!

So I guess I survived another day!  Trying to claw my way to another sun break!

 

 

 

[[Mi...]]

Coop,  that's just fantastic! You sound well!  Thanks for sharing! It is so encouraging! 

[[Co...]]

Miss Jen,....you are exactly where I was when things started to gradually and unpredictably get better. I had terrible physical stuff going on ( refux, difficult breathing, health fear and anxiety). I started getting random days like you describe. It was all unpredictable and without rhyme or reason. Over the following 2 months it gradually got more predictable and without me hardly even noticing  I was getting more good days than bad....You are getting better. So glad for you that you had such a great day with your little girl on her birthday.. . 

      coop

[[Mi...]]

Thank you Coop! 

 

I really needed that! I am extremely grateful for your kind words and the hope it has brought !        The kindness I have found here really touches the heart!  It is just amazing!

I am truly wishing you a 100% recovery! It sounds like you are so close to that forever sun break!

Thanks Again for the update!

I am sure it will give us all the strength we need to get through another day!

 

 

[[dr...]]

Hi coop and Jen!

 

Well...I even went for a fast paced walk and then drove into the city to see my troupe perform. Sat in a hot theater and symptoms were again minor.  I was afraid to push myself but there really is no rhyme or reason to this. Had a fun night and actually enjoyed the show instead of surviving it. Yay me

 

Nite all

[[No...]]

Jen ... I believe I have been safe ever since I stopped using the drug ... and it sure has not felt like it most of the time ... for a long, long while it was just one of the notes I had tacked up around the place ... along with the doubt one, the fear one, the resilient one, the trust one ...

 

The ones I would tear down and then put up again ... and then tear down and put up again ... eventually I took them down and put them with my journals ... old friends who have spent some time with me and deserve my gratitude and respect ...

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... slept some ... then after being up for half an hour the neck/shoulder stuff has come for a visit this morning ... haven't used the arnica cream in a while ... this wave persists ...

 

Another day in the salt mines ... might as well dig some salt .. 

[[No...]]

Hi Coop ... yep ... this getting on with our lives is a bit challenging ... well, several bits challenging ...

 

Good to hear from you ... 

[[Si...]]

Barely slept at all last night. Feel terrible and getting ready for work. How did my life turn into this shit show.

[[No...]]

Hi Siggy ... good question ... if you ever get an answer let me know ... hope your day picks up for you ... 

[[Si...]]

Hi Siggy ... good question ... if you ever get an answer let me know ... hope your day picks up for you ... 

 

Me too, but it probably won't. Running on fumes.

[[Aq...]]

Hi friends.  I hope everyone is doing alright.  I just looked at the date and realized I am 20 months off today!  So, it's a good thing that I am not looking at the date anymore really.  I have to say though, I have been in some kind of wave for a good few weeks now.  Since my 'baseline' shift at around 18 months the waves are not as bad but there can certainly be intense moments still where all the dread and panic and feeling like i am going to die come back.  This happens at restaurants, meetings, etc...  The blame game has nearly stopped though, so I stop trying to find reasons for why things are the way they are.  (Was it the coffee?  Did I get enough sleep? etc...)

 

I am so ready for the rest of this to go away, but it still feels like it will continue to be a very slow sloughing off over the next several months or longer.

[[No...]]

Think I have found a new symptom for me ... sciatica of the neck ... wow ... this is a woolly one ... across the back of my neck, up over the ears and down over the shoulders ...

 

I have lots of stiffness and tightness before ... this has been taken to a new level ... not responding to arnica and does not seem to respond to ibuprofen ...

[[No...]]

Siggy ... running on fumes ... well, hopefully you can get some respite this evening and over the weekend ... if you lived up here you could have a three day weekend ... Thanksgiving up here on Monday ...

[[No...]]

Aquaval ... well ... you have made it this far ... and you will make it the rest of the way ... keep going ... you sound good ... and the symptoms are just the symptoms ... and it sure does feel like it goes on forever ...