18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[Te...]]

Sorry Sofa.....

 

Most doctors just don't get it......which plays a mind game on me at times......

 

It must be rare.....what happens to us.....idk......I just know that this way I feel is not me......it's like living in hell.......at times......sorry if I offended anyone by saying that.......I really feel aweful...

 

But it's another day......

TM

[[dr...]]

I don't think it's rare at all just misdiagnosed and that's starts people on the perpetual mouse wheel of drugs.  It's a damn crime.

 

Meditation doesn't get rid of stuff 90% of the time. It distracts me to let it pass. 

 

I had the head sensations all day w pain added in. I did go to the gym and I added in 15 min on exercise bike. Very gentle ride!  Had lots of sinus pains during this. I then meditated and found a calmness and the head shit left for a bit.  Even went into Safeway shopping. I found if I wear headphones and listen to good music it distracts me from thinking about being in a store. Not perfect bu better. 

 

Nova-wild king salmon tonight.

[[No...]]

Hi Drew ... sounds like I should drop by for dinner ... not tonight my friend ...

 

I tried to shut down for the night ... oops ... just ramped up the stuff ... seems this one may want me awake for a while ...

 

This one has been slowly ramping up over the last 3 or 4 days ... if it follows the track that some of these have followed in the past this could be a long night ...

 

Nothing to do but play the hand I am dealt ...

[[ja...]]

Hi everyone, I am randomly popping in again with a question. I know what happened today is part of this healing process but I just want to run it by all of you. This morning I all of a sudden got really super dizzy and off balance for about a quick few seconds. I'm not so much freaked about that because I have had that happen throughout this process but at supper tonight I was sitting at the table and bam my head literally shook and felt like everything was being moved for a quick minute. That freaked me out and now I just feel like my brain is overly tired. Has any of you had this happen and what do you think is happening?

 

Love Jackie :smitten:

[[Se...]]

Hi.  Suffering a lot these days.

 

Sorry to hear you're all struggling so mightily as well.  But as the intermittent viewer of your respective healing chronicles (I don't come on here as much as I used to), I do see real healing taking place for everyone.  You might not be seeing it yourselves, but I am.  I know that I am healing also, but it's an extremely slow process.  Like watching grass grow.

 

This is some really sorry bullsheet, and it's all I can do to try and not play the victim role again in this, because when I do, it's only infinitely worse.  So only hopeful thoughts and intentions are encouraged these days.

 

When visiting doctors, even dentists... I've completely lost trust.  I don't think I will ever be at ease again with it, and that's ok, because I look at it as my body's faithful reminder to be ever-vigilant to medical abuse, so nothing like this ever happens to me again, or to a loved one. 

[[ja...]]

Hi Serenity, sorry you are suffering so much. It is hard to trust with all we have been through. I have learned many valuable lessons over the past several years. One being I am my own advocate. And that's the way I plan to keep it. Hang in there another day, I believe we will all heal, not only physically but emotionally too.

 

Love Jackie

[[dr...]]

Hi everyone, I am randomly popping in again with a question. I know what happened today is part of this healing process but I just want to run it by all of you. This morning I all of a sudden got really super dizzy and off balance for about a quick few seconds. I'm not so much freaked about that because I have had that happen throughout this process but at supper tonight I was sitting at the table and bam my head literally shook and felt like everything was being moved for a quick minute. That freaked me out and now I just feel like my brain is overly tired. Has any of you had this happen and what do you think is happening?

 

Love Jackie :smitten:

 

Awww Jackie... I get so many head symptoms but I'm not sure of what you mention. I get the dizziness really quick like you, pain in brain and scalp,pressure feelings, ears popping, ringing,  squeezing and numbness sensations, and brain doing weird stuff but I can't describe half of it. It's my biggest symptom now and so much other stuff is gone.  I'm sure it's withdrawal related and just some fine tuning before you completely heal

[[ja...]]

Hi Drew and thanks. It felt so strong and like a huge disruption in my brain but very quick. I have felt really good all day except for this. I'm glad to hear a lot of your sx's have left. It's just a matter of time now. Can't wait!!!

 

Love Jackie :smitten:

[[Se...]]

Hi Serenity, sorry you are suffering so much. It is hard to trust with all we have been through. I have learned many valuable lessons over the past several years. One being I am my own advocate. And that's the way I plan to keep it. Hang in there another day, I believe we will all heal, not only physically but emotionally too.

 

Love Jackie

 

Thanks, Jackie.  Yes... learning to be our own advocates.  Infinitely valuable.  I appreciate your hopeful words.  Take care, ok?

 

Serenity 

[[He...]]

Hi Everyone,

Holy panic attack, Batman.    I got slammed with a doozy today.  I've been feeling a bit wavy the past week and my anxiety has been creeping up, but then today was a full-on panic attack.  It started with feeling light-headed and then it just started escalating to where my mouth was dry, my heart was racing, I felt like I was going to pass out, I was 100% sure I was going to die, and I was actually shaking.  It happened about 5 minutes before afternoon recess and I was able to make it until the kids went outside, but then I had to hide for a bit.  I was able to somehow teach the rest of the day, which was about 2 hours of class time, and I had to stay after school to help my daughter and her friends out with a project, so I'm still here.  4 hours post panic attack and I'm still alive, so it must have been "just" panic. I'm still feeling the panic just under the surface.

 

It's been so long since I've had anything that bad that it really snuck up on me. I have all the old fears crashing in on me right now....."I will never heal", "this will get progressively worse", yada yada yada. I know that's not true (mostly  ) but I still feel disappointed, weak, and discouraged.  I'm amazed that I taught like this ALL. THE. TIME. before.  How is that possible?  It's also interesting to me that my students didn't even know.  How is THAT possible??  Both rhetorical questions, of course.  I suppose even after one gets to 99% healed, there can be a bit of crap that sneaks up now and then. <sigh>

 

   

[[Si...]]

Good job HH! We do what we can to get through work.

 

Ah nova, I see you are in the Siggy overnight plan. Stay up all night so you can enjoy the extra hours of w/d. No, no reason to sleep through the pain. Why would we want that?

 

Drew enjoy your Salmon.

 

I'm coasting in loony land right now from only two hours of sleep.

[[No...]]

Just sitting here rolling in a full body wave ... lots of nerve stuff ... heat and twitches ... and the head pressure stuff ... when I tried to shut down for the night things just turned toxic so I got up ...

 

This one is messy ... and it is playing really hard with the helplessness issue ...

[[Si...]]

Just sitting here rolling in a full body wave ... lots of nerve stuff ... heat and twitches ... and the head pressure stuff ... when I tried to shut down for the night things just turned toxic so I got up ...

 

This one is messy ... and it is playing really hard with the helplessness issue ...

 

That really does suck. Maybe when it passes you'll have a better baseline. Wish I could make it go away for you.

[[No...]]

Jackie ... I don't know what causes those things ... perhaps a nerve/muscle response triggered by our brain ...

 

I have had jolts that have been accompanied by involuntary muscle movement in the past ... for me they are always quick and I often feel exhausted afterwards ...

[[No...]]

Siggy ... yep it sucks ... we can only wait it out ... no magic wands are available for this ...

[[No...]]

HH ... that is a nuisance ... to have something pop up out of the blue like that ... hopefully it is the last one ... 

[[He...]]

Nova,

I am so sorry that you are feeling so cruddy tonight, too! I'm lifting you up with healing thoughts. 

 

[[No...]]

HH ... yep cruddy about covers it ... along with a few other words ...

 

Thank you for your thoughts, they help ... 

[[He...]]

I have a few other words flying around my head right now. Every awful story about someone relapsing into acute after being healed is haunting me.  That will NOT happen, this is just a shi##y day.

[[He...]]

I've got this, Nova...you've got this. Our bodies are continuing to heal and some (most) days we're there and others the healing is active.

I'm trying to remember that I KNOW how to do this. It's not new, it's not dangerous, it's something I've done many, many times. And the healing I have found is NOT lost.

[[No...]]

HH ... let's just leave it as a lousy day ... tomorrow is always a surprise ... we never know ...

 

You are you and I am me ... who knows what will happen ... we leave today's worries on the table ... no need to carry them forward ... 

[[No...]]

HH ... yes ... we do not lose what we have accomplished ... we carry this forward with us, even when the path has some unexpected twists and turns ...

[[He...]]

HH ... let's just leave it as a lousy day ... tomorrow is always a surprise ... we never know ...

 

You are you and I am me ... who knows what will happen ... we leave today's worries on the table ... no need to carry them forward ... 

 

You are right, though this batch feels rather sticky.  "Tomorrow is another day" has carried me through many, many tough days, and I am going to cling to it once again.   

 

 

[[so...]]

This withdrawal wave is making it hard to swallow for me.  Lump in throat.  Feel sick.  Anxiety?  Torture, pure torture.  Can't sleep either.

[[He...]]

This withdrawal wave is making it hard to swallow for me.  Lump in throat.  Feel sick.  Anxiety?  Torture, pure torture.  Can't sleep either.

 

I'm so sorry, Sofa! Are you able to take vitamin C when your anxiety is raging? It used to help me a lot. I was wishing I had a packet of Emergen-C with me today when my panic hit.