Daily Micro-Tapering Support Group

[[...]]

Hi Hope,

 

Don't feel guilty for holding. It can be such a good thing for your brain. Especially if you did a big cut. I think it's really hard to hold because we feel like it's just prolonging our suffering. I hope that it is actually reducing the suffering by letting us get back to our baseline so when we start to taper again we won't have such a hard time. I really appreciate your posts as it seems you, Gard, Fuzzy, and I all seem to be really struggling with any type of tapering. It helps to know there are others out there going through the same thing.

 

Hugs and healing 

[[ho...]]

Hi guys,

 

I'm in tears reading your posts today. :'( I didn't realize others also felt they were in prison with this poison.  I'm also struggling with anxiety and agoraphobia and am housebound, even when I'm not cutting, and holding doesn't change anything. I held for over five months before I started tapering and my sxs just kept getting worse.

 

I had been doing a daily micro taper at 4% of my dose. Ten days in I was in horrible withdrawal and had to hold. I held for five days and recovered to my baseline very quickly. Then I tried various other types of patterns and kept getting into trouble no matter the pattern. So then I just held. I held for a month. Yesterday I cut 2.5% of my dose which is .03mg and today I'm already a mess. I think I prefer the ability to do a pattern than this cut and hold, so far anyway. I guess I'll have to see how long I stay in w/d.

 

I'm already ready to start working on how I'm going to try to make a pattern or maybe just cut with smaller cuts. I was cutting daily at .0019mg. Maybe I should make it .001mg and try a daily pattern again. It's all just so frustrating. I'm going to be doing this for years at this rate. If I didn't have the agoraphobia it wouldn't bother me quite as much though none of the w/d sxs are any fun.

 

Hey Gard, my pdoc just told me on Wednesday that he has read that therapy doesn't work when you are on a benzo. I don't know if that is all types of therapy or not but I thought I would pass that along. I also think I read Dr. Ashton said the same thing. It has to do with the cognitive function if I remember right.

 

Have any of you checked out the excessivly long hold thread?

 

Hugs and healing and thanks for helping not feel so alone as I go through this long drawn out experience. 

I'm so sorry you're suffering.  Are you doing a liquid taper? You're so close to being off! I've heard the end is the hardest part. Yes the agoraphobia is horrible. I've been in the house for over a year except for doctors appointments and was admitted to the hospital twice. Its very lonely and the monotony is terrible. You're so very close to being off this poison! I don't know if you're doing micro dry cutting but maybe a liquid titration would help. You're almost there!

[[ho...]]

Hi Hope,

 

Don't feel guilty for holding. It can be such a good thing for your brain. Especially if you did a big cut. I think it's really hard to hold because we feel like it's just prolonging our suffering. I hope that it is actually reducing the suffering by letting us get back to our baseline so when we start to taper again we won't have such a hard time. I really appreciate your posts as it seems you, Gard, Fuzzy, and I all seem to be really struggling with any type of tapering. It helps to know there are others out there going through the same thing.

 

Hugs and healing 

one day this will all be a horrible memory! Hugs and healing to you too! 

[Guest [ba...]]

Hi Hope,

 

Don't feel guilty for holding. It can be such a good thing for your brain. Especially if you did a big cut. I think it's really hard to hold because we feel like it's just prolonging our suffering. I hope that it is actually reducing the suffering by letting us get back to our baseline so when we start to taper again we won't have such a hard time. I really appreciate your posts as it seems you, Gard, Fuzzy, and I all seem to be really struggling with any type of tapering. It helps to know there are others out there going through the same thing.

 

Hugs and healing 

one day this will all be a horrible memory! Hugs and healing to you too! 

 

The memory of the withdrawal/recovery hasn't been so horrible for me (I'm just past the 3-year mark).  More positive things and new challenges to think about now.  But I have to admit that there were a few instances that will give me pause if I think about them.

[[Ul...]]

Hope, I was a very long time on 2 different meds because I started a crossover and then felt like I had crossed far enough. I was half on Xanax and half on Librium (a slower benzo). The Librium helped even my blood levels and enabled me to continue to taper the Xanax. I didn't have to go to all Librium, which is a more depressing drug, until I was much lower. So being half crossed over was a good thing for me. My doctor allowed it, which was another good thing. 

 

I also got into a bad place from trying to taper my Librium too fast, and at the same time having a family crisis. I decided to hold to get stable. I held for over 6 months. Check out the Long Hold support group. There are lots of people who have gotten into truly bad places and then got out by holding. Then they were able to taper again with much more tolerable symptoms. That's where I am now. I was housebound and agoraphobic bit now can get out some days. There is hope!

 

Gard

hi gard thank you for writing. I've been feeling very bad about doing my partial crossover and being on two benzos. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one. Not glad you're in this situation of course but don't feel so alone. Yes I have had to hold, there is no way after my massive cut I could go into a taper. I've visited the long hold group many times and it's very positive. At least now we know what NOT to do. And it's given me time to ask more questions and get a better plan. I'm glad you're getting out. I feel like I'm in a prison sentence. I had no idea the power of this poison. Thank you for giving me some hope! Nicole

 

Hope, I feel like I am in prison, too. I'll bet most of us do. During my long hold it was especially bad. Even now, the slowness of my taper and having to incorporate holds makes me feel like I will never get out. This is a very common feeling, but it's a feeling, not a fact. You will get out. Also, when I was in my many months of being on 2 different benzos, I looked around and found there were a few others who had done the same thing. It's unusual mostly because doctors generally aren't willing to stick their necks out like that. I think it could actually be better than crossing all the way over in many cases. It could be what works for you to get you off the K. I think holding and listening to your body and then starting up again slowly with holds as needed will get you off this stuff. We will all get off this stuff.

 

BTW, I am going to be starting trauma therapy soon, so I think I will be in another long hold. Phooey! Have you posted on Long Hold? Sorry if I don't remember. I usually remember people by their avatar, but my memory is not so good! My brain's function-ability blinks off and on. 

 

Gard

 

You're a great inspiration, Gard!! Thanks for being here!

 

Jeff

[[wa...]]

I stop by every once in a while. Have read over some recent posts and I have an extremely hard time tapering as well. I am sorry we are all suffering. Long holds do nothing for me but make me feel worse. When I cut I feel better in some ways worse in others. It's like a double edged sword. Whoa and as a female when it's that time of the month forget it. I send you all positive thoughts and healing.

 

I do have an inquiry though regarding the liquid taper. Currently tapering my clonazepam from milk. Have not made switch to water and alcohol yet as I have been considering doing. Have been putting .75 mg K in 150 mls of milk. I currently am taking 10.9 mls out which means I should have around 139.1 mls of milk left over. But when I divide my doses I feel like somehow 10 mls or so of liquid is missing. Just gone. I do the same process with each cut. What am I doing wrong if anything? Just not sure what to think. Does anybody else notice this? This baffles me.

[[ga...]]

Hope, I was a very long time on 2 different meds because I started a crossover and then felt like I had crossed far enough. I was half on Xanax and half on Librium (a slower benzo). The Librium helped even my blood levels and enabled me to continue to taper the Xanax. I didn't have to go to all Librium, which is a more depressing drug, until I was much lower. So being half crossed over was a good thing for me. My doctor allowed it, which was another good thing. 

 

I also got into a bad place from trying to taper my Librium too fast, and at the same time having a family crisis. I decided to hold to get stable. I held for over 6 months. Check out the Long Hold support group. There are lots of people who have gotten into truly bad places and then got out by holding. Then they were able to taper again with much more tolerable symptoms. That's where I am now. I was housebound and agoraphobic bit now can get out some days. There is hope!

 

Gard

hi gard thank you for writing. I've been feeling very bad about doing my partial crossover and being on two benzos. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one. Not glad you're in this situation of course but don't feel so alone. Yes I have had to hold, there is no way after my massive cut I could go into a taper. I've visited the long hold group many times and it's very positive. At least now we know what NOT to do. And it's given me time to ask more questions and get a better plan. I'm glad you're getting out. I feel like I'm in a prison sentence. I had no idea the power of this poison. Thank you for giving me some hope! Nicole

 

Hope, I feel like I am in prison, too. I'll bet most of us do. During my long hold it was especially bad. Even now, the slowness of my taper and having to incorporate holds makes me feel like I will never get out. This is a very common feeling, but it's a feeling, not a fact. You will get out. Also, when I was in my many months of being on 2 different benzos, I looked around and found there were a few others who had done the same thing. It's unusual mostly because doctors generally aren't willing to stick their necks out like that. I think it could actually be better than crossing all the way over in many cases. It could be what works for you to get you off the K. I think holding and listening to your body and then starting up again slowly with holds as needed will get you off this stuff. We will all get off this stuff.

 

BTW, I am going to be starting trauma therapy soon, so I think I will be in another long hold. Phooey! Have you posted on Long Hold? Sorry if I don't remember. I usually remember people by their avatar, but my memory is not so good! My brain's function-ability blinks off and on. 

 

Gard

 

You're a great inspiration, Gard!! Thanks for being here!

 

Jeff

 

Thanks, Jeff, and I think you are, too! Do you remember when you were hunting for a prescriber and running out of time? (As though you could forget! ) I will never forget you saying, "Next!" over and over as doctor after doctor turned you down. I was so nervous for you!

 

When I was going through my very long search for a therapist who would accept me, benzos and all, and kept running into brick walls (and some really rude people), I would imitate you and say, "Next!" to myself even with tearful eyes. It kept me going when I didn't think I could.

 

We will all get though this together!

 

Gard

[[ho...]]

I stop by every once in a while. Have read over some recent posts and I have an extremely hard time tapering as well. I am sorry we are all suffering. Long holds do nothing for me but make me feel worse. When I cut I feel better in some ways worse in others. It's like a double edged sword. Whoa and as a female when it's that time of the month forget it. I send you all positive thoughts and healing.

 

I do have an inquiry though regarding the liquid taper. Currently tapering my clonazepam from milk. Have not made switch to water and alcohol yet as I have been considering doing. Have been putting .75 mg K in 150 mls of milk. I currently am taking 10.9 mls out which means I should have around 139.1 mls of milk left over. But when I divide my doses I feel like somehow 10 mls or so of liquid is missing. Just gone. I do the same process with each cut. What am I doing wrong if anything? Just not sure what to think. Does anybody else notice this? This baffles me.

hey warrior I remember you told me something about the pill sucking it up that builder had told you. But 10 ml's seems like a lot. Maybe builder would answer again or look at your old posts maybe you'll find your answer there. I'll keep checking to see if you find out. Nicole

[[ga...]]

I'm so sorry for all of you who aren't getting relief. I seem to recall a number of people on K who only felt better when they were cutting. I'm not sure why. K does seem to have some unique properties to it.

 

tntd, I heard the same thing about certain therapies and looked specifically at studies of people on benzos doing EMDR. I found a study that compared people on benzos to people not on benzos in how well they responded to EMDR. The conclusion was that people on benzos did see improvement from EMDR but not as much improvement as people who were not on benzos. But I have had therapists refuse to touch me because of the benzos. Of course there was the wacky one who thought I needed the benzo to process the trauma.

 

warrior, I'm sorry, but I can't even do my own math! I'm sure a math person will come along and help solve your mystery. You could try on the titration board, too. Maybe builder is over there.

 

Wishing everyone a weekend with windows!

 

Gard

[[ho...]]

Hi Hope,

 

Don't feel guilty for holding. It can be such a good thing for your brain. Especially if you did a big cut. I think it's really hard to hold because we feel like it's just prolonging our suffering. I hope that it is actually reducing the suffering by letting us get back to our baseline so when we start to taper again we won't have such a hard time. I really appreciate your posts as it seems you, Gard, Fuzzy, and I all seem to be really struggling with any type of tapering. It helps to know there are others out there going through the same thing.

 

Hugs and healing 

one day this will all be a horrible memory! Hugs and healing to you too! 

 

The memory of the withdrawal/recovery hasn't been so horrible for me (I'm just past the 3-year mark).  More positive things and new challenges to think about now.  But I have to admit that there were a few instances that will give me pause if I think about them.

I know that after this is all over I will definitely have a different and better perspective on life. Right now it's hard to see, but I know this is all for a reason.

[[ho...]]

I'm so sorry for all of you who aren't getting relief. I seem to recall a number of people on K who only felt better when they were cutting. I'm not sure why. K does seem to have some unique properties to it.

 

tntd, I heard the same thing about certain therapies and looked specifically at studies of people on benzos doing EMDR. I found a study that compared people on benzos to people not on benzos in how well they responded to EMDR. The conclusion was that people on benzos did see improvement from EMDR but not as much improvement as people who were not on benzos. But I have had therapists refuse to touch me because of the benzos. Of course there was the wacky one who thought I needed the benzo to process the trauma.

 

warrior, I'm sorry, but I can't even do my own math! I'm sure a math person will come along and help solve your mystery. You could try on the titration board, too. Maybe builder is over there.

 

Wishing everyone a weekend with windows!

 

Gard

gard I've heard some people feel better when cutting klonopin as well. I wish I could find them. Also can't seem to find a lot of people using milk to get off k. Alcohol is not an option for me and neither is pg. And definitely no more dry cutting!

[[Ju...]]

Hello Sharkey and others;

I could use some help figuring out a dry cut daily taper from 3.0mg V to 1.0mg  (after that, we can reassess )

Somehow i can't get the 10% thing to work out. My last cut was too big, 14%, from 3.5 to 3mg, and I am suffering much.

I don't want to go back up, but I wish I went to 3.25 or so.

Thank you,

-Justaman

[[Pl...]]

I'm so sorry for all of you who aren't getting relief. I seem to recall a number of people on K who only felt better when they were cutting. I'm not sure why. K does seem to have some unique properties to it.

 

tntd, I heard the same thing about certain therapies and looked specifically at studies of people on benzos doing EMDR. I found a study that compared people on benzos to people not on benzos in how well they responded to EMDR. The conclusion was that people on benzos did see improvement from EMDR but not as much improvement as people who were not on benzos. But I have had therapists refuse to touch me because of the benzos. Of course there was the wacky one who thought I needed the benzo to process the trauma.

 

warrior, I'm sorry, but I can't even do my own math! I'm sure a math person will come along and help solve your mystery. You could try on the titration board, too. Maybe builder is over there.

 

Wishing everyone a weekend with windows!

 

Gard

gard I've heard some people feel better when cutting klonopin as well. I wish I could find them. Also can't seem to find a lot of people using milk to get off k. Alcohol is not an option for me and neither is pg. And definitely no more dry cutting!

 

What happened when you dry cut?

[[ed...]]

Hello Sharkey and others;

I could use some help figuring out a dry cut daily taper from 3.0mg V to 1.0mg  (after that, we can reassess )

Somehow i can't get the 10% thing to work out. My last cut was too big, 14%, from 3.5 to 3mg, and I am suffering much.

I don't want to go back up, but I wish I went to 3.25 or so.

Thank you,

-Justaman

 

If you are suffering so much and thoughts of updosing are on your mind, why do you want to cut right now?

 

That question aside, by what % do you want to cut (10%?) and over how long a time period (2 weeks?).  How much do your pills weigh on average when you weigh out 10 of them?

 

Best,

Ed

[[...]]

Gard, That information about the studies of people doing therapy on and off benzos is really interesting. Thank you for posting it for us.

 

Nicole, I'm using cashew milk, which is very high in fat, to taper from K. I posted in the K Klub thread to you abou it. I've actually only just started my tapering in November. I held for a month over Christmas and then with a really bad cold/flu.

 

I tried a cut and hold. I only cut 2.5% which is still kind of micro, only .03mg. I'm only three days in and the w/d sxs are horrible. Worse than they ever were when I was doing a daily micro-taper. Even when I got into the weeds after cutting for 10 days in a row. I don't know how others do it. Bless them for their strength!! I really thought at such a small cut I wouldn't have too many or bad sxs. I'm just feeling terrified of everything and crying uncontrollably except when I'm not typing! Lots of other sxs too but we all know how long the list can get and I don't want to go there. 

 

So now I need to find my "daily" cutting path. I'm thinking of trying a c/c/h/h/h to start. I may have to stop during the second half of the month as my sxs always ramp up with my cycle as I'm sure they do for other women. Does anyone have any suggestions for a super sensitive CNS that doesn't seem to like much of any kind of cutting. I was in tolerance withdrawal, tried holding but it did nothing for me, my sxs actually got worse. I would really like to be one of those K people that feels better when cutting, maybe that will happen as I get lower in my dose?

 

Jeff, you have always had so much wisdom and support for me and I just want to thank you. You amaze me with your strength and positive attitude.

 

I want to also thank everyone else on here. You are all inspirations. When I am struggling so much I know I can come to this thread and usually get an answer or a response or some sort of support. What a wonderful group of people.  You are the best.

 

Hugs and healing to everyone.

[[jr...]]

Hello Sharkey and others;

I could use some help figuring out a dry cut daily taper from 3.0mg V to 1.0mg  (after that, we can reassess )

Somehow i can't get the 10% thing to work out. My last cut was too big, 14%, from 3.5 to 3mg, and I am suffering much.

I don't want to go back up, but I wish I went to 3.25 or so.

Thank you,

-Justaman

 

IMHO I would update to 3.25 and hold until I as stable. Then , you could take part of your dose dry and liquid micro taper the rest making small daily cuts. when you are stable , we can devise a taper for you!

 

[[ho...]]

I'm so sorry for all of you who aren't getting relief. I seem to recall a number of people on K who only felt better when they were cutting. I'm not sure why. K does seem to have some unique properties to it.

 

tntd, I heard the same thing about certain therapies and looked specifically at studies of people on benzos doing EMDR. I found a study that compared people on benzos to people not on benzos in how well they responded to EMDR. The conclusion was that people on benzos did see improvement from EMDR but not as much improvement as people who were not on benzos. But I have had therapists refuse to touch me because of the benzos. Of course there was the wacky one who thought I needed the benzo to process the trauma.

 

warrior, I'm sorry, but I can't even do my own math! I'm sure a math person will come along and help solve your mystery. You could try on the titration board, too. Maybe builder is over there.

 

Wishing everyone a weekend with windows!

 

Gard

gard I've heard some people feel better when cutting klonopin as well. I wish I could find them. Also can't seem to find a lot of people using milk to get off k. Alcohol is not an option for me and neither is pg. And definitely no more dry cutting!

 

What happened when you dry cut?

hi when I dry cut i can't take the slam of the cut. That's why I want to do liquid so my body can adjust slowly. Nicole

[[ho...]]

Gard, That information about the studies of people doing therapy on and off benzos is really interesting. Thank you for posting it for us.

 

Nicole, I'm using cashew milk, which is very high in fat, to taper from K. I posted in the K Klub thread to you abou it. I've actually only just started my tapering in November. I held for a month over Christmas and then with a really bad cold/flu.

 

I tried a cut and hold. I only cut 2.5% which is still kind of micro, only .03mg. I'm only three days in and the w/d sxs are horrible. Worse than they ever were when I was doing a daily micro-taper. Even when I got into the weeds after cutting for 10 days in a row. I don't know how others do it. Bless them for their strength!! I really thought at such a small cut I wouldn't have too many or bad sxs. I'm just feeling terrified of everything and crying uncontrollably except when I'm not typing! Lots of other sxs too but we all know how long the list can get and I don't want to go there. 

 

So now I need to find my "daily" cutting path. I'm thinking of trying a c/c/h/h/h to start. I may have to stop during the second half of the month as my sxs always ramp up with my cycle as I'm sure they do for other women. Does anyone have any suggestions for a super sensitive CNS that doesn't seem to like much of any kind of cutting. I was in tolerance withdrawal, tried holding but it did nothing for me, my sxs actually got worse. I would really like to be one of those K people that feels better when cutting, maybe that will happen as I get lower in my dose?

 

Jeff, you have always had so much wisdom and support for me and I just want to thank you. You amaze me with your strength and positive attitude.

 

I want to also thank everyone else on here. You are all inspirations. When I am struggling so much I know I can come to this thread and usually get an answer or a response or some sort of support. What a wonderful group of people.  You are the best.

 

Hugs and healing to everyone.

oh cashew milk sounds good. I looked up almond milk but it didn't have enough fat. I'll look into it. I do not know how people do dry cutting either. I want liquid so my mind will barely recognize the cuts, as im only going to start with 2.5% a month. And hold or do minor updose when needed. Yes cycle time of month is the worst. I cry constantly during that period. I'll look into the cashew milk, thank you.

[[ho...]]

I'm so sorry for all of you who aren't getting relief. I seem to recall a number of people on K who only felt better when they were cutting. I'm not sure why. K does seem to have some unique properties to it.

 

tntd, I heard the same thing about certain therapies and looked specifically at studies of people on benzos doing EMDR. I found a study that compared people on benzos to people not on benzos in how well they responded to EMDR. The conclusion was that people on benzos did see improvement from EMDR but not as much improvement as people who were not on benzos. But I have had therapists refuse to touch me because of the benzos. Of course there was the wacky one who thought I needed the benzo to process the trauma.

 

warrior, I'm sorry, but I can't even do my own math! I'm sure a math person will come along and help solve your mystery. You could try on the titration board, too. Maybe builder is over there.

 

Wishing everyone a weekend with windows!

 

Gard

gard I've heard some people feel better when cutting klonopin as well. I wish I could find them. Also can't seem to find a lot of people using milk to get off k. Alcohol is not an option for me and neither is pg. And definitely no more dry cutting!

 

What happened when you dry cut?

please I just saw in your signature you put milk bad. Why is that? Did you have a bad experience with it? Thank you Nicole

[[Ul...]]

Gard, That information about the studies of people doing therapy on and off benzos is really interesting. Thank you for posting it for us.

 

Nicole, I'm using cashew milk, which is very high in fat, to taper from K. I posted in the K Klub thread to you abou it. I've actually only just started my tapering in November. I held for a month over Christmas and then with a really bad cold/flu.

 

I tried a cut and hold. I only cut 2.5% which is still kind of micro, only .03mg. I'm only three days in and the w/d sxs are horrible. Worse than they ever were when I was doing a daily micro-taper. Even when I got into the weeds after cutting for 10 days in a row. I don't know how others do it. Bless them for their strength!! I really thought at such a small cut I wouldn't have too many or bad sxs. I'm just feeling terrified of everything and crying uncontrollably except when I'm not typing! Lots of other sxs too but we all know how long the list can get and I don't want to go there. 

 

So now I need to find my "daily" cutting path. I'm thinking of trying a c/c/h/h/h to start. I may have to stop during the second half of the month as my sxs always ramp up with my cycle as I'm sure they do for other women. Does anyone have any suggestions for a super sensitive CNS that doesn't seem to like much of any kind of cutting. I was in tolerance withdrawal, tried holding but it did nothing for me, my sxs actually got worse. I would really like to be one of those K people that feels better when cutting, maybe that will happen as I get lower in my dose?

 

Jeff, you have always had so much wisdom and support for me and I just want to thank you. You amaze me with your strength and positive attitude.

 

I want to also thank everyone else on here. You are all inspirations. When I am struggling so much I know I can come to this thread and usually get an answer or a response or some sort of support. What a wonderful group of people.  You are the best.

 

Hugs and healing to everyone.

 

Hey tnt!! That's nice of you to say about my strength, but trust me...I'm not doing very well in the "strength" area at all. I try to hang on and do the best I can hour by hour, but it's not pretty. I'm so sensitive to literally anything, so I have to be super careful if I even decide to drink water! If I try to cut two days in a row, then I practically lose it. Have you thought about cutting a small amount just one day and then see how your body reacts or how long it takes to feel the cut? If it's not good, then I'd think you wouldn't want to cut two days in a row followed by a hold (c/c/h/h/h). I've gotten to where I cut based on how I feel. Today I felt "better", so I went ahead and did a small cut. From experience I've learned that I usually feel the cut the same day or the next. If I feel "good" a couple days from now, then I'll do another small cut. If not, then I'll hold. I just take it one day at a time and I know that if a stressful situation comes up or is about to come up, then I hold automatically. I don't even care or think about percentages. It's just purely a symptoms and situations-based taper. Ridiculously slow, but better than being completely freaked 24/7. Boring and not rocket science, I know, but so it be's

 

Hugs to ya!

 

Jeff

[[ho...]]

Gard, That information about the studies of people doing therapy on and off benzos is really interesting. Thank you for posting it for us.

 

Nicole, I'm using cashew milk, which is very high in fat, to taper from K. I posted in the K Klub thread to you abou it. I've actually only just started my tapering in November. I held for a month over Christmas and then with a really bad cold/flu.

 

I tried a cut and hold. I only cut 2.5% which is still kind of micro, only .03mg. I'm only three days in and the w/d sxs are horrible. Worse than they ever were when I was doing a daily micro-taper. Even when I got into the weeds after cutting for 10 days in a row. I don't know how others do it. Bless them for their strength!! I really thought at such a small cut I wouldn't have too many or bad sxs. I'm just feeling terrified of everything and crying uncontrollably except when I'm not typing! Lots of other sxs too but we all know how long the list can get and I don't want to go there. 

 

So now I need to find my "daily" cutting path. I'm thinking of trying a c/c/h/h/h to start. I may have to stop during the second half of the month as my sxs always ramp up with my cycle as I'm sure they do for other women. Does anyone have any suggestions for a super sensitive CNS that doesn't seem to like much of any kind of cutting. I was in tolerance withdrawal, tried holding but it did nothing for me, my sxs actually got worse. I would really like to be one of those K people that feels better when cutting, maybe that will happen as I get lower in my dose?

 

Jeff, you have always had so much wisdom and support for me and I just want to thank you. You amaze me with your strength and positive attitude.

 

I want to also thank everyone else on here. You are all inspirations. When I am struggling so much I know I can come to this thread and usually get an answer or a response or some sort of support. What a wonderful group of people.  You are the best.

 

Hugs and healing to everyone.

tntd what brand cashew milk do you use? Thank you, nicole

[[...]]

Hi Nicole,

 

I use Silk brand Cashew milk. It says 25 cal right on the front of the box. You are welcome to PM me if you want more information. 

 

 

Jeff,

 

I stand by my words. You are very strong. I can't believe how much you are struggling and yet you keep on going. Thank you for filling me in on your story a bit more.

 

The idea for doing the 2.5% cut (.03mg) was to see how soon my w/d sxs hit and how they proceed. It has been awful so far. I didn't think such a small cut would cause such intense sxs. I also really don't like the idea that I have to wait to see what will happen. When I was doing the micro-taper if I decided to hold it was one maybe two days before I went back to my baseline sxs of anxiety and agoraphobia. I did this cut and the sxs hit the very first day and have only been getting worse so far. 

 

I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time. It does make sense though with all the other PD you have gotten off of. My pdoc said he's not surprised that I'm so sensitive because of the CT in June and he also included the 25% benzo reduction the other doctor forced me to do in March. I ended up updosing because of the CT and now it seems even the tiniest cut causes symptoms. I was also on a variety of medications over the course of six or seven years about 12 years ago and according to my doctor that isn't helping things either. So if my little drug history is making me super sensitive I'm not surprised that you are super sensitive with your drug history. It really sucks though.

 

I really like your idea of doing a small cut for just one day and seeing how I feel. Back to the .0019mg that I was cutting when I first started this journey. I think you told me before but what is a small cut for you?  Are you able to get out of the house at all? How much K do you still have left to taper off of? '

 

I still think you are pretty amazing for powering through despite everything. You have been a great help and inspiration to me as I struggle with how sensitive I am to every little cut.   

 

You da man 

[[Ki...]]

I have been using a pattern that seems to work ok for me if you can call it a pattern. I SUCK at math ( SG did all my math for me!) so Im not exactly sure where Im at day to day on mg, but I dry cut by scale weight. Yesterday my pills weighed 241 and thats about 7.5 mg V. (Im a really fast metabolizer so V works weird for me but i make it work.) So tonight when I cut I will go to where the scale registers between .240 and .241, you know where the scale cant quite make up its mind which number it wants to be at. Then tomorrow I will go to .240. Next day it will be scale wobbles between .239 and .240 ( its about 1 1/2 of the 5 mg V pills) and so on. Then when I start to get hit with it worse I just wait it out a few days. And I never cut any when I go anywhere overnite. This seems to be better for me than going down a whole number. Yep it will take longer but as long as my doc still writes me scripts, this seems to be tolerable for my brain.

[[Ju...]]

Hello all, Sharky, Edzo;

I feel like I'm going insane. Today is the worst day in months of tapering. Baseline anxiety is screaming.

I weighed 10 of the 2mg pills Valium, avg = .171 g

I'm dosing 3x per day, 10am, 4pm, and 10pm .

I am 3 days at 3mg (from 3.5mg), and each day seems worse than the last.

I feel like I blew it somewhere. Typically every cut has had 4-5 days that are anxious

but tolerable; but nothing like this ! Jaw is clenched up too.

I guess I'll aim for 10% every 2 weeks from now on. My percentage has been increasing

as I go down. Should I stick it out another day? Damn them pills staring back at me!

-Justaman

[[jr...]]

Hello all, Sharky, Edzo;

I feel like I'm going insane. Today is the worst day in months of tapering. Baseline anxiety is screaming.

I weighed 10 of the 2mg pills Valium, avg = .171 g

I'm dosing 3x per day, 10am, 4pm, and 10pm .

I am 3 days at 3mg (from 3.5mg), and each day seems worse than the last.

I feel like I blew it somewhere. Typically every cut has had 4-5 days that are anxious

but tolerable; but nothing like this ! Jaw is clenched up too.

I guess I'll aim for 10% every 2 weeks from now on. My percentage has been increasing

as I go down. Should I stick it out another day? Damn them pills staring back at me!

-Justaman

 

 

 

Your sig says you went from 4mg to 3 mg from dec 26 to jan 12th. that is a 25% cut.