Daily Micro-Tapering Support Group

[[ga...]]

Jr and Gardner.... Thank you... I tried up dosing once but it was a disaster.... I got extremely sick.... I feel a bit better mentally reducing..... But the physical is really bad and unlivable....Outside body tremors that never went away.... Inner vibrating.... Swaying feelings....severe facial issues and so much more....( had all of this for 14 months straight)

 

after holding for about 3 and a half months after I just started I switched to liquid and waited another few weeks and started reducing only 5 percent in 30 days....

 

Very hard to know what to do....

 

This is hard, Pleasebe. Have you tried asking on the Liquid Titration forum? It is often more active and you might find someone there who has been in a similar situation.

Wish I could be of more help.

[[Ju...]]

Jr and Gardner.... Thank you... I tried up dosing once but it was a disaster.... I got extremely sick.... I feel a bit better mentally reducing..... But the physical is really bad and unlivable....Outside body tremors that never went away.... Inner vibrating.... Swaying feelings....severe facial issues and so much more....( had all of this for 14 months straight)

 

after holding for about 3 and a half months after I just started I switched to liquid and waited another few weeks and started reducing only 5 percent in 30 days....

 

Very hard to know what to do....

 

PBH, I don't have as much medical information as the more experienced benzo buddies and wish I could give advice to help you but what I can give is a listening ear and to let you know someone is here with you and you're not alone as cliche as that sounds. It's 4am in my city at the moment and I'm getting used to being awake and anxious at various hours of the night but typing is one thing that gives me focus when I'm shaking and in panic mode.

 

I just write everything I can think of, but with one rule: I have to try to see how much of what I'm writing is the real me and how much is the benzo me, and the benzo me gets easily wound up into a knot of fear and forgets how many symptoms are able to be managed and reduced a little at a time and just forgets to even breathe sometimes. But the real me, hiding beneath all these yucky fears and body symptoms is still there quietly waiting to give me perspective and calm amidst the chaos and remind me to breathe my way through the panic attacks, hold my pillow tight and breathe into it, type everything instead of keeping my thoughts spinning round in my head, just type type type.

 

Most importantly, we are here with you PBH and I know it's scary and you're tired and it's been a long road for you, so first....hopefully we can find a tiny pocket of calm somehow, even just for a few minutes, and then we can help you come up with a plan.

 

Our mind can gang up on us and make it hard to think straight when we are breathing fast and feeling afraid. I never realised how vital controlled breathing was until I started this yucky benzo journey, but it's saved me seriously. As has finding projects to distract me, even folding clothes or brushing my hair or holding cold objects like a glass of water, and most of all the support of people who are on this forum just willing to be there and listen and hold my hand.

 

And that's what I want for you. For you to not feel alone even thought this is the most scary time.

[[De...]]

Test question for this board, someone has a micro tapering question and said this isn't working.

 

EDIT: See it works fine.

 

Good luck!

[[Ju...]]

Just went to collect my weekly valium from the pharmacy and OH THE IRONY, the lady behind the counter starts saying I need to ask my doctor to put me on some kind of anti depressant or anti anxiety medicine urgently to deal with the anxiety and nausea and insomnia I have (I usually only have severe waves about 2-3 days a month, and the rest are more manageable)

 

I tried not to be rude because I know she means well, and it's so kind of her to be concerned but I said "That's how this whole mess started" and she said "it couldn't possibly be the pills causing it" etc etc...you know how it goes. Many of you have heard the same thing right?

 

Anyway I said: no, NO more pills thanks, coming off valium is crappy enough. So I'm grateful to benzo buddies for informing me enough to say that to her instead of being roped back in like I was last year and the year before. Last two times I fell for it.

 

It's been going fairly well aside from the lack of sleep and occasional headache but now that I'm down to 3mg I've convinced the doctor to let me slow down even further even though she thinks I'm going at a snails pace already. She thinks I should drop 1/4 tablet (0.5mg valium) every 3-4 weeks but I have been microtapering behind her back to be able to handle even that amount.

 

She thinks I'm doing dry cuts once a month overnight. When did we start to know more than these doctors? It's almost like it's getting more dangerous to "swim between the flags" than to be caught in the rip and kick your way out with your Ashton Manual "paddle board"

[[St...]]

I'm at 2.98 mg of Valium today. Moving along with my micro taper.

[[bu...]]

I'm at 2.98 mg of Valium today. Moving along with my micro taper.

 

:thumbsup:

[[Ja...]]

Builder- did you ever have Akathesia at all during your taper or at points along the way where you couldn't sit still etc? What was your worst symtpom and when did it leave

I still have burning , anger , ups downs depression anxiety etc but not like in cold turkey or fast taper where I couldn't sit or watch tv or do anything

Just wondering and I know no one knows if that is inevitable again?

I can take the fatigue just the Akathesia will send me to hell. Encouragement helps

Thanks

[[Su...]]

thanks to the Ashton manual and here or I would be in psyc Ward. 

The doctor. LOl "oneday..  My Dr said oh that's to hard a prescription he didn't want to look at manual.  He said add in these addictive sleeping pills with a little anti depressant and go back up to 60mg V a day.  Oh my.  Yes this site is priceless.  Saving lives. 

My doctor got me in a mess and wants to brush it off saying oh you might as well stay on them 8 yrs of lies.  Really he is into it for the money and perks.  Got the fe3ling maybe because I'm 64 yrs old not worth bothering.  No my husband helped me start liquid tirationion as it was way to complicated for me mentally with the nasty withdrawls.  I used this site...utube..àsked alot of questions.  Try hard to do what sounds reasonable.

 

Been a rough go..not as bad as others  Keeping the course.  Keeping the faith.  Best to all each minute hour and day.  That's all anyone has anyway.

Getting better.  Dolly

[[ed...]]

You're doing great, Surviving! We're all very proud of you!

 

 

All the best,

Ed

[[do...]]

Hi All DMT Buddies,

 

Several months ago you all so kindly helped me with a taper schedule with liquid, which I failed.

 

So I am back asking your assistance again please, however, I think that I will try the dry format this time.

 

I am still at 1/4 of 0.5 ativan tab twice daily.

 

I bought some razors so I guess that I need a scale too.  Any suggestion on which scale is best please?

 

It has taken me 4 years of tapering to get to this dose.  So I'm guessing that's pretty dang slow.

 

Thank you kindly.

doodle dog

 

Well Buddies,

 

I cannot even get the razor blades out of the dispenser so I think that I will see if my pdoc will give me some liquid ativan.  I am on such a little bit at this point.

 

If I can get some liquid will you guys please help me with a micro daily taper.

 

Thanks to all.

doodle dog

[[ed...]]

Hi All DMT Buddies,

 

Several months ago you all so kindly helped me with a taper schedule with liquid, which I failed.

 

So I am back asking your assistance again please, however, I think that I will try the dry format this time.

 

I am still at 1/4 of 0.5 ativan tab twice daily.

 

I bought some razors so I guess that I need a scale too.  Any suggestion on which scale is best please?

 

It has taken me 4 years of tapering to get to this dose.  So I'm guessing that's pretty dang slow.

 

Thank you kindly.

doodle dog

 

Well Buddies,

 

I cannot even get the razor blades out of the dispenser so I think that I will see if my pdoc will give me some liquid ativan.  I am on such a little bit at this point.

 

If I can get some liquid will you guys please help me with a micro daily taper.

 

Thanks to all.

doodle dog

 

You'll be offered all the help you need. I can promise you that!

 

Congrats to you for getting lower and lower!

 

Best,

Ed

[[do...]]

Hi All DMT Buddies,

 

Several months ago you all so kindly helped me with a taper schedule with liquid, which I failed.

 

So I am back asking your assistance again please, however, I think that I will try the dry format this time.

 

I am still at 1/4 of 0.5 ativan tab twice daily.

 

I bought some razors so I guess that I need a scale too.  Any suggestion on which scale is best please?

 

It has taken me 4 years of tapering to get to this dose.  So I'm guessing that's pretty dang slow.

 

Thank you kindly.

doodle dog

 

Well Buddies,

 

I cannot even get the razor blades out of the dispenser so I think that I will see if my pdoc will give me some liquid ativan.  I am on such a little bit at this point.

 

If I can get some liquid will you guys please help me with a micro daily taper.

 

Thanks to all.

doodle dog

 

You'll be offered all the help you need. I can promise you that!

 

Congrats to you for getting lower and lower!

 

Best,

Ed

 

Thanks so much Ed.

 

Have a nice evening.

doodle dog

[[...]]

Hi All DMT Buddies,

 

Several months ago you all so kindly helped me with a taper schedule with liquid, which I failed.

 

So I am back asking your assistance again please, however, I think that I will try the dry format this time.

 

I am still at 1/4 of 0.5 ativan tab twice daily.

 

I bought some razors so I guess that I need a scale too.  Any suggestion on which scale is best please?

 

It has taken me 4 years of tapering to get to this dose.  So I'm guessing that's pretty dang slow.

 

Thank you kindly.

doodle dog

 

Well Buddies,

 

I cannot even get the razor blades out of the dispenser so I think that I will see if my pdoc will give me some liquid ativan.  I am on such a little bit at this point.

 

If I can get some liquid will you guys please help me with a micro daily taper.

 

Thanks to all.

doodle dog

 

The pharma liquids are good products for tapering.  We can get you going.

[[bu...]]

 

 

 

 

 

The pharma liquids are good products for tapering.  We can get you going.

 

:thumbsup:

[[do...]]

Hi All DMT Buddies,

 

Several months ago you all so kindly helped me with a taper schedule with liquid, which I failed.

 

So I am back asking your assistance again please, however, I think that I will try the dry format this time.

 

I am still at 1/4 of 0.5 ativan tab twice daily.

 

I bought some razors so I guess that I need a scale too.  Any suggestion on which scale is best please?

 

It has taken me 4 years of tapering to get to this dose.  So I'm guessing that's pretty dang slow.

 

Thank you kindly.

doodle dog

 

Well Buddies,

 

I cannot even get the razor blades out of the dispenser so I think that I will see if my pdoc will give me some liquid ativan.  I am on such a little bit at this point.

 

If I can get some liquid will you guys please help me with a micro daily taper.

 

Thanks to all.

doodle dog

 

The pharma liquids are good products for tapering.  We can get you going.

 

Thanks so much.

[[ar...]]

Doodle dog,

 

SG57, builder and others will help you along the way.  No worries.

 

Best Wishes

[[my...]]

Hi SG,

What was it you said about the end of a taper?  About how - the way one feels close to the end is the way one will feel once off - or something like that.  I cannot find the post or the exchange...but it was some wisdom that you had expressed..

 

Thanks...all going well except for ear stuff off and on...other than that...feeling well. 

Mana 

[[do...]]

Doodle dog,

 

SG57, builder and others will help you along the way.  No worries.

 

Best Wishes

 

 

Thanks so much for your (and all the others) support.  Much appreciated.

[[ar...]]

Hi SG,

What was it you said about the end of a taper?  About how - the way one feels close to the end is the way one will feel once off - or something like that.  I cannot find the post or the exchange...but it was some wisdom that you had expressed..

 

Thanks...all going well except for ear stuff off and on...other than that...feeling well. 

Mana 

 

My mana,

 

What I have seen with symptom based tapers is when individuals stay at their baseline through most of their taper and end at a very low dose of .01 or below, most of the time they do not get worse and continue to stay at baseline and improve from there.

 

I define baseline as a measure of manageable symptoms and feeling well most of the time.  There are instances where some people are symptom free.  "Symptom free" is highly debated among members.  Some believe it and some don't.  My opinion is for some people it's possible and I think genetics and other factors determine this.  I do believe that it is possible to remain at baseline and feel well most of the time.  There has been quite a few instances where my cuts caught up with me resulting in a wave.  Holding will get you back to baseline most of the time.

 

Best Wishes

[[...]]

Hi SG,

What was it you said about the end of a taper?  About how - the way one feels close to the end is the way one will feel once off - or something like that.  I cannot find the post or the exchange...but it was some wisdom that you had expressed..

 

Thanks...all going well except for ear stuff off and on...other than that...feeling well. 

Mana 

 

Hi MM, I'm glad you are feeling well.  I don't think there is anything special about zero, other than it is the final state of coarse.  If you feel well when you arrive at zero you will continue to feel well and the taper will be over at that point.  If you arrive feeling lousy, you will continue to feel lousy and get slowly better over months or even years.  I've watched people get off and it seems that even people who step off and feel "well" or "normal" and are happy and living life normally seem to get even better as time goes by.  It is as if they thought they were at their best and did not know they could feel even better until it happens.  I'd say it takes a long time for the brain and CNS to fully and completely restore itself after a taper.

[[my...]]

Yes, that was it.  Baseline...and feeling well. Hmmm....  There are times..and there are many more of them for longer periods as I go lower when I feel fine.  Completely fine.  But  then I have times when my sxs increase only to be calmed by the next dose, small as it may be. 

 

If that continues...then to go from a very small amount (I am probably 5-6 months away from that) to zero wil be problematic as the relief comes from the next dose and if there is no next dose, then what?

 

I feel I am doing a careful taper but worry about the ear sxs which reappeared a month or so ago and have been the predominant issue for me and occur either close to the "next" dose or when I am experiencing any CNS stress (concentrating, writing posts - like now !!  long phone calls especially if dealing with difficult matters, etc).  Distraction and exercise are the best antidotes in my case.

 

Any further thoughts??

 

Thanks. 

 

[[...]]

Yes, that was it.  Baseline...and feeling well. Hmmm....  There are times..and there are many more of them for longer periods as I go lower when I feel fine.  Completely fine.  But  then I have times when my sxs increase only to be calmed by the next dose, small as it may be. 

 

If that continues...then to go from a very small amount (I am probably 5-6 months away from that) to zero wil be problematic as the relief comes from the next dose and if there is no next dose, then what?

 

I feel I am doing a careful taper but worry about the ear sxs which reappeared a month or so ago and have been the predominant issue for me and occur either close to the "next" dose or when I am experiencing any CNS stress (concentrating, writing posts - like now !!  long phone calls especially if dealing with difficult matters, etc).  Distraction and exercise are the best antidotes in my case.

 

Any further thoughts??

 

Thanks. 

 

If you have tapered to zero and kept yourself feeling well, at that point you won't need a next dose.  You'll be ready to function without the drug, right?

 

Really, we are pushing the edge, always operating with just enough drug and moving down.  It makes sense to me to just stop once in a while for a months or two - maybe twice a year- and let the brain/CNS catch up and just consolidate all the changes that are going on.

[[ga...]]

Yes, that was it.  Baseline...and feeling well. Hmmm....  There are times..and there are many more of them for longer periods as I go lower when I feel fine.  Completely fine.  But  then I have times when my sxs increase only to be calmed by the next dose, small as it may be. 

 

If that continues...then to go from a very small amount (I am probably 5-6 months away from that) to zero wil be problematic as the relief comes from the next dose and if there is no next dose, then what?

 

I feel I am doing a careful taper but worry about the ear sxs which reappeared a month or so ago and have been the predominant issue for me and occur either close to the "next" dose or when I am experiencing any CNS stress (concentrating, writing posts - like now !!  long phone calls especially if dealing with difficult matters, etc).  Distraction and exercise are the best antidotes in my case.

 

Any further thoughts??

 

Thanks. 

 

If you have tapered to zero and kept yourself feeling well, at that point you won't need a next dose.  You'll be ready to function without the drug, right?

 

Really, we are pushing the edge, always operating with just enough drug and moving down.  It makes sense to me to just stop once in a while for a month or two - maybe twice a year- and let the brain/CNS catch up and just consolidate all the changes that are going on.

 

:thumbsup:

 

That's what I'm doing now. Just hit the 2 month mark. Thinking I'm going to hold another month because I'm still getting some nasty waves but they are less often and shorter.

 

I originally kept pushing as fast as I could tolerate for a year and I'm paying for it now. Wish I had gone slower and done longer holds from the start.

 

I think a lot of what I am experiencing now after a 2-month hold is secondary fear. The primary/organic fear was from the w/d and the secondary fear was learned. When I got wave after wave, I just started to be on edge waiting for the next one to hit even when in a window. If windows had been the norm and waves the exception, I think I would have less secondary fear.

 

Now I'm in therapy trying to reduce the secondary fear. Probably could have avoided so much suffering (for both myself and my family, this has had a terrible impact on my kids) and having to do this very unpleasant CBT if I had known then what I know now. I recommend s-l-o-w and with holds and keep symptoms to a bare minimum rather than wrecking your life and trying to rebuild it from a broken mess (where I am now). But at least now, after the long hold, I am starting to think I may actually rebuild my life. Up until this point, after I hit my wall one year ago, I had no hope ever that I would. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other for the sake of my kids.

 

BTW, I also highly recommend mindfulness as a way of reducing secondary fear. Just can't find a therapist out in the sticks here that will work with me on that, so am doing it on my own with an audiobook.

 

Gard

[[...]]

If you have tapered to zero and kept yourself feeling well, at that point you won't need a next dose.  You'll be ready to function without the drug, right?

 

Really, we are pushing the edge, always operating with just enough drug and moving down.  It makes sense to me to just stop once in a while for a month or two - maybe twice a year- and let the brain/CNS catch up and just consolidate all the changes that are going on.

 

:thumbsup:

 

That's what I'm doing now. Just hit the 2 month mark. Thinking I'm going to hold another month because I'm still getting some nasty waves but they are less often and shorter.

 

I originally kept pushing as fast as I could tolerate for a year and I'm paying for it now. Wish I had gone slower and done longer holds from the start.

 

I think a lot of what I am experiencing now after a 2-month hold is secondary fear. The primary/organic fear was from the w/d and the secondary fear was learned. When I got wave after wave, I just started to be on edge waiting for the next one to hit even when in a window. If windows had been the norm and waves the exception, I think I would have less secondary fear.

 

Now I'm in therapy trying to reduce the secondary fear. Probably could have avoided so much suffering (for both myself and my family, this has had a terrible impact on my kids) and having to do this very unpleasant CBT if I had known then what I know now. I recommend s-l-o-w and with holds and keep symptoms to a bare minimum rather than wrecking your life and trying to rebuild it from a broken mess (where I am now). But at least now, after the long hold, I am starting to think I may actually rebuild my life. Up until this point, after I hit my wall one year ago, I had no hope ever that I would. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other for the sake of my kids.

 

BTW, I also highly recommend mindfulness as a way of reducing secondary fear. Just can't find a therapist out in the sticks here that will work with me on that, so am doing it on my own with an audiobook.

 

Gard

 

[[my...]]

Thanks guys....such interesting posts this morning.  Lots to think about. 

 

Take care