Daily Micro-Tapering Support Group

[[Hi...]]

Does anyone else thats tapering deal with waves of intense near psychosis where its  not a panick attack or anxiety sometimes its that ontop of it but just like your brain is having massive intusive thoughts that are so overwhelming it causes psychological pain like my thoughts change im not me i am only terror and its never ganna enf but then it breaks in a week or two?

 

Or serious debilitating physical illness

[[Ki...]]

I look forward to the day all I have to do is microtaper down off this stuff- I hope by then my brain works enough to at least subtract properly. But if not, hopefully I wont need to pester yall too often. Thanks again! ❤️

 

Happy to be "pestered", it's a good distraction for my nerves And we can help you with the math so you don't need to think about it

Thanks- I am sure I will have another confusing swap coming up next week! Since my Doc will only give me 10 mg I have to do some " creative tapering" soon- ugh!

[[Ju...]]

Does anyone else thats tapering deal with waves of intense near psychosis where its  not a panick attack or anxiety sometimes its that ontop of it but just like your brain is having massive intusive thoughts that are so overwhelming it causes psychological pain like my thoughts change im not me i am only terror and its never ganna enf but then it breaks in a week or two?

 

Or serious debilitating physical illness

 

Not sure what kind of thoughts you have but a lot of us have had really nasty experiences where the brain plays tricks on us and everything seems really really dark and scary as **** and it seems to go on forever, but particularly bad at night, and feeling so stuck and under attack. Is that what you mean, or is it slightly different? Sounds like you've hit a really rough patch, but this is a really good place to talk to people about it and get your thoughts out in the open so you don't feel like you're facing it alone. I hope it "breaks" soon like you said so you can get a breather. These things seem to come in waves don't they?

[[my...]]

For Justdotoday:  thanks for posting that link with the list of "You've been benzoed"!! Funny, yes...but really sad and true. 

 

And yes, I agree with everyone who has congratulated you on an awesome job of tapering. 

 

I was particularly interested to read about your experience with AD's as my doctor wants me to begin Zoloft after a very dark week....I beleve it is depression caused by K withdrawal and the lack of exercise due to an injury.  Am healing physically and a walk yesterday helped my mood.

 

SG....my ear sxs have returned (pain and pressure) with a vengeance.  Haven't had them in months...at least not noticeably.  This symptom bothers me more than any other.  I don't get it.

It began yesterday... I don't feel cuts until 5-7 days into them so really a puzzle.

 

 

 

[[...]]

For Justdotoday:  thanks for posting that link with the list of "You've been benzoed"!! Funny, yes...but really sad and true. 

 

And yes, I agree with everyone who has congratulated you on an awesome job of tapering. 

 

I was particularly interested to read about your experience with AD's as my doctor wants me to begin Zoloft after a very dark week....I beleve it is depression caused by K withdrawal and the lack of exercise due to an injury.  Am healing physically and a walk yesterday helped my mood.

 

SG....my ear sxs have returned (pain and pressure) with a vengeance.  Haven't had them in months...at least not noticeably.  This symptom bothers me more than any other.  I don't get it.

It began yesterday... I don't feel cuts until 5-7 days into them so really a puzzle.

 

Depression is a common symptom.  I'm very very skeptical about ADs.  I think they are phony drugs.  Amazing that this question is not resolved after all this time, but that's psychiatry - smoke and mirrors.  Have you ever seen this guys study?  Makes you think, since the data he is talking about is the drug companies own data submitted to the FDA...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zihdr36WVi4

 

 

Also this...

 

http://cepuk.org/unrecognised-facts/no-benefit-over-placebo/

 

[[ga...]]

Thanks Stella--I've heard from several people in the Long Hold support group and on a thread started by nova1 that they didn't stabilize until 2-3 months. Some say 4-5. I've never held that long so hoping it will work this time. I'm smazed at the number of people who say not only did they stabilize but were subsequently able to taper slowly but smoothly

 

I've been holding for 2 months (I think) and still not stable. Still holding. Hope everyone is right about eventually pulling out of this and being able to re-start my MT. Slowly and smoothly would be pure heaven.

[[Le...]]

@Gardner99, I've been holding for a while. My sxs started to stabilize around 4 months. Once I reinstated on Valium 40mg my taper was controlled by various doctors who  didn't know how to taper benzos. My taper was sporadic at best and I suffered as a result. I found a good doctor who has allowed me to hold. It has helped tremendously.  Now I'm ready to start microtapering.

[[li...]]

@Gardner99, I've been holding for a while. My sxs started to stabilize around 4 months. Once I reinstated on Valium 40mg my taper was controlled by various doctors who  didn't know how to taper benzos. My taper was sporadic at best and I suffered as a result. I found a good doctor who has allowed me to hold. It has helped tremendously.  Now I'm ready to start microtapering.

 

Thanks for sharing this as I am at about 6 weeks in the longest hold I've done so far and I'm noticing small improvements. I'm "collecting" long hold success stories for the Long Hold Support Group. Can you tell me how long you've held?  You said you started to stabilize around 4 months--if you don't mind my asking, how long have you held and to what percentage functioning did it get you?  Anecdotally, I'm finding people can get to 80-100% "normal"--most still obviously have sxs that come and go, but they tend to remain stable thereafter with a daily microtaper. I appreciate you sharing.

[[my...]]

SG,

Thanks for responding to what is the current/core question for me.  I didn't go in to the details but one of the features of this depression is intrusive thoughts.  The ear pain/pressure subsided and the IT's increased.  I believe these too are w/d sxs but they are so disturbing...of course Zoloft is meant to short circuit obsessive thinking.

 

I'm inclined to breathe through it....

 

Haven't watched the videos...but will do so in a few hours...I hope to go back to sleep now!! (Early Pacific time).

 

P.S.

In the midst of all this hand wringing, I had a window yesterday that was pure relief.  I was simply folding some laundered clothes...a breeze picked up and blew in the window and I felt such calm and happiness...I felt like I used to...(not all the time, naturally) but happy.  I was happy and peaceful.  The window closed - gently - but I did feel like it was a promise of life after withdrawal....  Pretty crazy.  I have read that as people get lower in their doses waves and windows can occur in rapid succession.   

 

Thanks again,

Mana. 

 

[[ga...]]

As long as I'm holding my L, I think I want to MT down on my Q (bedtime 25mg) and see if I really need that whole tablet. I need a primer on how to dry cut tablets and be consistent. It's been a long, long time since I've tried it. I do have a scale already.

 

Thanks.

[[Mo...]]

 

 

P.S.

In the midst of all this hand wringing, I had a window yesterday that was pure relief.  I was simply folding some laundered clothes...a breeze picked up and blew in the window and I felt such calm and happiness...I felt like I used to...(not all the time, naturally) but happy.  I was happy and peaceful.  The window closed - gently - but I did feel like it was a promise of life after withdrawal....  Pretty crazy.  I have read that as people get lower in their doses waves and windows can occur in rapid succession.   

 

Thanks again,

Mana. 

 

That is how it started for me, returning to some normalcy: one window. Didn't last long but they came more often. Then some more hours, then my entire evenings...

Yes,there were waves again but less intense and not constantly.

 

 

[[in...]]

All I can say today is my daily micro cuts are killing me, F! life with w/d and 2/ 3.5 yr old twins is killing me!

I hate it, hate my life right now, cant handle them, ready to freak out...........im going to stay at 1 mg A 2x a day LT for 2 weeks as its my plan to c/o to a DMLT, try to handle life better...........right now, I wish I would not even wake up in the mornings anymore, not cool, kids screaming, fighting,  :idiot: :idiot: :idiot: :idiot:

[[bu...]]

All I can say today is my daily micro cuts are killing me, F! life with w/d and 2/ 3.5 yr old twins is killing me!

I hate it, hate my life right now, cant handle them, ready to freak out...........im going to stay at 1 mg A 2x a day LT for 2 weeks as its my plan to c/o to a DMLT, try to handle life better...........right now, I wish I would not even wake up in the mornings anymore, not cool, kids screaming, fighting,  :idiot: :idiot: :idiot: :idiot:

  You made almost a 50% cut from a fairly high dose in only about 2 months.  Don't you think that might be the problem? 

[[in...]]

All I can say today is my daily micro cuts are killing me, F! life with w/d and 2/ 3.5 yr old twins is killing me!

I hate it, hate my life right now, cant handle them, ready to freak out...........im going to stay at 1 mg A 2x a day LT for 2 weeks as its my plan to c/o to a DMLT, try to handle life better...........right now, I wish I would not even wake up in the mornings anymore, not cool, kids screaming, fighting,  :idiot: :idiot: :idiot: :idiot:

  You made almost a 50% cut from a fairly high dose in only about 2 months.  Don't you think that might be the problem? 

 

OMG now that you said it........um yeah...........now what

[[bu...]]

All I can say today is my daily micro cuts are killing me, F! life with w/d and 2/ 3.5 yr old twins is killing me!

I hate it, hate my life right now, cant handle them, ready to freak out...........im going to stay at 1 mg A 2x a day LT for 2 weeks as its my plan to c/o to a DMLT, try to handle life better...........right now, I wish I would not even wake up in the mornings anymore, not cool, kids screaming, fighting,  :idiot: :idiot: :idiot: :idiot:

  You made almost a 50% cut from a fairly high dose in only about 2 months.  Don't you think that might be the problem? 

 

OMG now that you said it........um yeah...........now what

 

Well, I'd try to hold for maybe 2 weeks.  If youu don't improve, I would go back to the last dose I felt OK at.

 

Updosing seems to be kinda controversial here, but IMO, if you're miserable, you do what you need to feel better.  (and you sound kinda miserable) 

[[in...]]

OK yes, I was planning on holding at least 2 weeks when in 2 days when I reach the 1 mg 2 x's a day of A, since im doing daily micro cuts of .003 and have pre dosed them (dry) in a pill tower.......

 

I was going to then, c/o to LT and hold for 1-2 weeks, using the LT method only.......that was at SG's suggestion.........hes tryng tp help me with a DMLT plan.

 

but i sure could use all the help I can get, you and SG I see on the boards, like so knowledgeable and helpers.....

 

thanks for being there (like right now), its like a huge relief, I cant thank you enough just for reaching out to me, when I'm in this bad of w/d and I'm all alone with kids freaking me out, its not cool.......husband does and could not care less.........im all alone, all I have is my BB's (thank goodness)............

[[Le...]]

@Gardner99, I've been holding for a while. My sxs started to stabilize around 4 months. Once I reinstated on Valium 40mg my taper was controlled by various doctors who  didn't know how to taper benzos. My taper was sporadic at best and I suffered as a result. I found a good doctor who has allowed me to hold. It has helped tremendously.  Now I'm ready to start microtapering.

 

Thanks for sharing this as I am at about 6 weeks in the longest hold I've done so far and I'm noticing small improvements. I'm "collecting" long hold success stories for the Long Hold Support Group. Can you tell me how long you've held?  You said you started to stabilize around 4 months--if you don't mind my asking, how long have you held and to what percentage functioning did it get you?  Anecdotally, I'm finding people can get to 80-100% "normal"--most still obviously have sxs that come and go, but they tend to remain stable thereafter with a daily microtaper. I appreciate you sharing.

Hi lizagal, I've been holding for 5 months. I'm at about 60-80% functional. That is good for me .  I still have waves, but thats the way it is for me. Today i found out that I'm an "ultra rapid metabolizer" of diazepam. I'm having interdose WDs even though I dose 3xs a day.   I think that's why my stabilization percentage is lower than most.  However, I do not regret holding at all.

[[li...]]

Left Behind--Thanks so much for responding. I keep hearing that a hold should be able to get you to 80% but it's all subjective. I'm glad you feel well enough to resume your taper!

[[Le...]]

Left Behind--Thanks so much for responding. I keep hearing that a hold should be able to get you to 80% but it's all subjective. I'm glad you feel well enough to resume your taper!

[[my...]]

 

That is how it started for me, returning to some normalcy: one window. Didn't last long but they came more often. Then some more hours, then my entire evenings...

Yes,there were waves again but less intense and not constantly.

 

Really glad you wrote this, Moodle ....thanks 

[[ga...]]

All I can say today is my daily micro cuts are killing me, F! life with w/d and 2/ 3.5 yr old twins is killing me!

I hate it, hate my life right now, cant handle them, ready to freak out...........im going to stay at 1 mg A 2x a day LT for 2 weeks as its my plan to c/o to a DMLT, try to handle life better...........right now, I wish I would not even wake up in the mornings anymore, not cool, kids screaming, fighting,  :idiot: :idiot: :idiot: :idiot:

  You made almost a 50% cut from a fairly high dose in only about 2 months.  Don't you think that might be the problem? 

 

OMG now that you said it........um yeah...........now what

 

Well, I'd try to hold for maybe 2 weeks.  If youu don't improve, I would go back to the last dose I felt OK at.

 

Updosing seems to be kinda controversial here, but IMO, if you're miserable, you do what you need to feel better.  (and you sound kinda miserable) 

 

Very rapid cut plus preschool twins. I'd say we have more than one problem here!

I'm with builder, hold and consider updosing and holding more. Like maybe until the twins are in school?

[[...]]

Hi Everyone, Everyday is a battle for me because of my head/ear ache it got worse when i got the sore throat, i have pain infront of my ear where the joint was and on the back of my ear down to my neck, and the buzzing and thugging sound so discomfort, finish the 7 day antibiotic but sore throat and blcked nose still there.  i'm waiting till it subside, it could be the withdrawal symptoms.  Dont know if anyone experiencing this, I dont have shaky feeling anyway, just the head, ear, sound problem it cause less sleep for me.

 

hope you're doing all okay,

 

MCM

[[in...]]

All I can say today is my daily micro cuts are killing me, F! life with w/d and 2/ 3.5 yr old twins is killing me!

I hate it, hate my life right now, cant handle them, ready to freak out...........im going to stay at 1 mg A 2x a day LT for 2 weeks as its my plan to c/o to a DMLT, try to handle life better...........right now, I wish I would not even wake up in the mornings anymore, not cool, kids screaming, fighting,  :idiot: :idiot: :idiot: :idiot:

  You made almost a 50% cut from a fairly high dose in only about 2 months.  Don't you think that might be the problem? 

 

OMG now that you said it........um yeah...........now what

 

Well, I'd try to hold for maybe 2 weeks.  If youu don't improve, I would go back to the last dose I felt OK at.

 

Updosing seems to be kinda controversial here, but IMO, if you're miserable, you do what you need to feel better.  (and you sound kinda miserable) 

 

Very rapid cut plus preschool twins. I'd say we have more than one problem here!

I'm with builder, hold and consider updosing and holding more. Like maybe until the twins are in school?

 

thanks, i love you guys, im going to hold at 2mg..........till... ?

[[Va...]]

I've got,a question from a member who wants to liquid titrate her last 2mg of V and isn't able to post her question. She only has 5mg pills and would like to cut 5 to 7 percent every 2 weeks. She said she likes Crash's method but doesn't understand how to do it with V. I'd help her but haven't started my LT yet and don't want to screw it up for her. Any help would be appreciated. --V

[[...]]

I've got,a question from a member who wants to liquid titrate her last 2mg of V and isn't able to post her question. She only has 5mg pills and would like to cut 5 to 7 percent every 2 weeks. She said she likes Crash's method but doesn't understand how to do it with V. I'd help her but haven't started my LT yet and don't want to screw it up for her. Any help would be appreciated. --V

 

At a dose of 2mg I'd forget about percent and just make a daily reduction and stick with it.  A daily cut of .010mg might be a good place to begin.  I'll let Crash tell you how to make the liquid.