12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Sky...yes, the usual intrusive thoughts...they drive me nuts...do yours lift when you are in a window.? Mine disappear completely when I am lucky enough to catch a window. . .Looking high and low today for my rational mind today. The smallest body sx takes me right to dying...working on taming my mind...someday we will be able to let our minds wonder free range...waiting for that. ...How is your day unfolding ? ...Hope things are easing....coop

[[No...]]

Hi Coop ... my revving stopped after a while ... now just the doldrum wave ... too crazy to get out today ... they are still cleaning things up ... and it is cold ... planning to get out tomorrow ...

 

[[Co...]]

Yep.  The lukewarm approach to life.  Me too today, but I am functional..at least for laundry folding. Got my whip out to keep my thoughts in thier cages.. A doable day.. trying to coax in a window...the window is doing the coy trick. ...Are you making something good to eat?...

[[Co...]]

Just a random question...nothing important really...just wondering....Has anyone completely lost thier appetite? ...I am not naseous or food adverse.. I just don't feel hunger. Go for hours telling myself I should eat, but nothing  is appealing and no hunger....Nova, cook me up something. This is not a big problem I am not under weight..A few less pounds is ok

.....thanks .... coop

[[No...]]

Coop ... I have not "felt" hunger for a long time ... and often don't feel like eating ... then make up for it ... trying to eat regular is just not on right now ...

 

Having someone else around that needs to eat as well is helpful ... if I was alone I am sure I would not be as attentive as I am ...

 

 

[[sa...]]

Coop -- I get that sometimes, the no appetite thing. Not nausea, just no desire to eat. That's usually how I am in a wave these days.

 

I headed back to work today. Lots of anxiety this morning. Not my best day but ok. It's good to be back to a routine. It's funny, no one has mentioned anything about this weird illness. They just pick up like I never left. This is good. I was afraid I would have to do a lot of explaining. It's good to get this day over with. Tomorrow will be easier.

 

I am having focus trouble. My tinnitus is raging hard today and I have a bit of a headache with it.  No nausea today. I think most days this symptom is now gone. It only appears in a wave. I have a 9 day stretch going now of feeling pretty good. Hoping for a better month than January.

 

Maybe month 15 will be a big turning point. Fingers crossed.

 

 

[[Co...]]

Thanks Nova and Sass, ..I am pretty sure this probably benefits my health in some way..I could easily be ok minus 5vor 10.. I make my self drink a high protein green smoothie in the morning.  I am nearly obsessive about no sugar..no processed etc etc.. I was just curious.

...So go cook something good for Mrs Nova Michael

.Sass....wow...big day ..to return to work...congratulations. I am in such awe of everyone who is working I think that just takes huge bravery and grit. ...As far as people not noticing...I think we feel that our edginess and anxiety is just like a neon flashing sign on our forheads, but people rarely pick up on it. I can be battling back a huge panic and unless I am begging to go to er no one knows. My daughter can usually tell when I am 'off' because she is pretty perceptive. I think people don't ask about our absences because they don't know how to ask and don't want to be intrusive. ...Are you back ft? ...huge Sass...Wishing you good survival on your first day back...coop

[[je...]]

HH-- great news! So happy you had a good day!

Sky-- so sorry you are having a rough day, let's hope this passes quickly for you-- head pressure is the worst. I think your lessons are good distractions. Feel better 

 

Coop and Nova-- you both sound a little better today, so I hope your day ends well 

 

 

I ended up forcing myself to take my kids to the park after dinner last night and I think the fresh air and exercise helped me yesterday. I tried jogging a little bit and surprisingly I didn't drop dead  I'm feeling much better today, still with a lot of brain sensations but my mood is better and sx  are more tolerable today. Jenny

[[Co...]]

Jenny,..that is good news. Maybe we are all crawling out of this funk. I have the same experience taking my dog out. I get up in the morning and think I can't possibly get the dog out for a walk, but I live alone ...so I am it.. 3x a day. From the beginning going outside has always,helped. ...You are such a good mom fir going to the park when you feel all the sx. You and HH and Peace are really sheroes in my opinion. ..Very happy to hear that your head sx are better. Mine are as well diminishing but I am always left with crazy health fear and that vague sense of being traumatized. Staying busy with distractions today...but none of them as redeeming and meaningful as taking children to the park.. We are healing...it's just so long and so hard....it will come to an end. I will never take another day for granted..  Wishing you big sunbreaks.....coop

[[sa...]]

Coop -- I started back 4 days a week. I'm going to stick with that until I'm feeling like me again. Then I will pick up the 5th day. I figure I'll need the extra day to recover and regroup each week.

 

Almost done the day. Not too bad. Much better than when I left work 10 months ago. I think tomorrow will be easier on me with less anxiety now that day one is over.

[[Sk...]]

Coop -- I started back 4 days a week. I'm going to stick with that until I'm feeling like me again. Then I will pick up the 5th day. I figure I'll need the extra day to recover and regroup each week.

 

Almost done the day. Not too bad. Much better than when I left work 10 months ago. I think tomorrow will be easier on me with less anxiety now that day one is over.

 

Sasquach, I have been following your posts, I wish you the best, you are very brave.

 

I am going to bed, it has been a long day, I did my lessons, maybe they helped me, who knows. I am still feeling bad, but earlier I felt feverish, my head was really bad. Now it's "just" the vibrations and the palps.

 

Hope tomorrow I feel better.

 

WIshing you all the best.

[[No...]]

Sky ... have a good rest ... tomorrow is always another day ... getting closer ...

 

[[No...]]

Jenny ... glad you were able to get outside yesterday ... I think it makes a difference ...

 

I have been housebound since Friday afternoon ... due to weather ... either storming or just too cold ... I should be able to get out for a few hours tomorrow ... then another storm on Thursday ... 'tis the season around here ...

 

Be well ...

 

[[No...]]

Sasquach ... this is good news about your going back to work ... I believe in the long run it should be helpful for you ... you sound pretty good ... keep us posted ...

 

Take Care ...

 

[[Co...]]

Sass,  you give me courage to think about going back to my grandson's classroom to volunteer. Glad you have the first day down.  I am at 15 months off and still very hesitant to do any thing that requires long term commitment.  10 months and back to work is brave ..  ...coop

[[No...]]

Coop ... about the classroom volunteer thingie ... can you buddy volunteer ... that is, find a friend who could volunteer with you and if one or the other can't make it then at least one will be there ...

 

Just a thought ...

[[No...]]

Going to make an early night of it ... I need some uninterrupted rest ...

 

Have a good evening Folks  ...

 

[[Co...]]

Thanks Nova, ..that is such a good idea. Of course before benzos I had absolutely no problem volunteering 3x a week in 3 different classrooms...I could'nt spend enough time with the kindergarteners. The irrational craziness that is in my way is my wild hypochondria and health fear.I have the irrational fear that I will have a stroke or heart attack in front of a room full of innocent children...one of which is my granson. In a window I am fine...in a wave I can't go. I go everywhere else if I have to because it wouldn't bother me to have a stroke front and center in Fred Meyers or the restaurant  in front of a bunch of strangers ...I realize the crazy in this scenario and at some point I will probably seek psychothrapy to overcome this .I am hoping that with healing I Wil simply be who I used to be and I won't have this craziness. This has plagued me from the first time I had to go to er in month 4.  I used to worry only about having a public panic...now moving up the ladder to bigger and more dramatic hypochondria. ... It is getting better, but very gradually and very hesitant. I see my grandsons in many other ways but I really miss having my retired mind in the teaching field....maybe by month 18. I am planning on going to both classrooms for Valentines Day.  Send me a bill for a therapy session.. lol.  That was way more blah blah blah than I intended.  Thanks Nova.  Hope the sun comes out over your bay.....coop

[[mr...]]

Hi gang,

 

Mus' be something in the water, y'all... I'm feeling a bit "wavy" also. I'm day six past my cycle, so things will start to settle out soon. Weirdo thoughts, weirdo fear, a little anxiety, you know...etc. Its whatever; it just means that a nice 'upgrade' in baseline is going to follow - and I'm a-okay with that

 

Off to walk & exercise with a friend ~ I'm grateful to be recovered to the point I am right now. Love you guys.

 

Mrs.

[[dr...]]

Hi all...I'm very wavy too   I have racing heart, trouble breathing, and bad DR.  The DR leads to everything else....I'm hoping it's not a full n wave and just residual effects of migraine. 

[[be...]]

Thanks Nova and Sass, ..I am pretty sure this probably benefits my health in some way..I could easily be ok minus 5vor 10.. I make my self drink a high protein green smoothie in the morning.  I am nearly obsessive about no sugar..no processed etc etc.. I was just curious.

...So go cook something good for Mrs Nova Michael

.Sass....wow...big day ..to return to work...congratulations. I am in such awe of everyone who is working I think that just takes huge bravery and grit. ...As far as people not noticing...I think we feel that our edginess and anxiety is just like a neon flashing sign on our forheads, but people rarely pick up on it. I can be battling back a huge panic and unless I am begging to go to er no one knows. My daughter can usually tell when I am 'off' because she is pretty perceptive. I think people don't ask about our absences because they don't know how to ask and don't want to be intrusive. ...Are you back ft? ...huge Sass...Wishing you good survival on your first day back...coop

 

Hey Coop, do you make your own smoothies? A lot of mornings I really don't want anything to eat, just something to drink that's good for me.

I remember when I was pregnant with my son( 40 yrs. ago) I had trouble eating and gaining weight. My doc gave me a canister of dry protein loaded with vitamins. It was so yummy, it tasted like a creamy vanilla shake. I gained some weight but I also felt like a superhero. I had lots of energy and just felt really well. I wish I could remember what it was. I'm looking for a smoothie without any citric juices. I don't have any problems with dairy, just citric juices.

I might start experimenting with kefir and kale.

 

Be well.

[[Co...]]

Hi Beulah, I use yogurt or almond milk because I don't like juices either. I add almonds or almond butter for extra protein . We have sons about the same age...mine is 35...

....How are you doing? ....You were sounding good the last time you posted...I hope you are good Beulah...keep us posted. We can use all the good news we can get here...coop

[[Co...]]

Drew, so sorry that you are trying to hold off a wave. I was completely revved too after a recent migraine. Same thing...all the anxiety sx.. pounding heart, d/r, shaking and deep d/r. ...It is discouraging to get rolled over by a wave after a window. You are doing so good and you 'endure' with grit like the other 'just-do- it Nike peeps...Peace, HH, Sky, everyone going to work everyday . I hope your wave dies out and your sx let up. ...I was so glad to know that all your cardio tests came back with flying colors. ...Hold on ..you are sounding so healing....coop

[[Co...]]

Mrs,....you are a rock ...I wish I could roll with waves the way you do.  Happy run...nice to see you here ...coop

[[He...]]

Hi my friends,

 

I'm so sorry to read that many of you are not feeling well today.  Can this PLEASE be over with???    I KNOW that we are getting close to the finish line, but it's just so wearing. 

 

I have some good news to share.....today was pretty dang good again.    I was a little wavy, with some episodes of head pressure, but it wasn't anything that alarmed me too much.  I didn't get enough sleep last night because I stayed up talking with my hubby until about midnight, so 5:45 came awful early this morning.  Today was another very busy day.  The big basketball game with the crosstown rivals was tonight and we got the win!!

 

Tomorrow is going to be a stressful day at school.  It is our assembly to present awards to students, which means public speaking.  UGH!!  I hate public speaking!  I also have a new student joining my class. 

 

I hope you are all having a nice night.

Love to you,

HH