12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Nova...yep riding the waves today, but it's a gentle sea today. ...Cooking seems to be such a good distraction. I am not a great cook so I have to be able to concentrate clearly or I end up with things that even the dog turns down . Do you go on pintrest? ...Your food projects always seem so good. If you go on pintrest I would love to follow you. I didn't really know about pintrest until my daughter talked me into a pretty drastic upgrade ( cough cough) on a smart phone. Now I have one that is really a small tablet. She taught me how to serf pintrest ( and e-bay)...oh myyy. It is now a go to for wavy days.

  ...I just wanted to drop by and remind you how much we all love you ..and are so appreciative of your inspiration......coop

[[No...]]

Coop ... I have a severe allergy to cell phones ... I own an old clunker that I use for calling cabs when I am out ... last year I used 32 minutes of cell time ...

 

Sorry, I don't even know what pinterest is ... I suppose I am a bit of luddite ... I even have to remember to turn my home phone on ... I like computers because when you turn them off they don't ring ...

 

Anyway ... had a good walk for a couple of hours ... on a scale of 1 to 10, things are about 4.79856474215 ... 

 

Hope you all are enjoying the day ...

[[Co...]]

Nova,...love your humor...Glad you  got out...2 hours,is a good  long time. Your weather must be good. We have a Pineapple Express going on here. Like March...except it is still Jan. warm but wet and big winds..kind of fun to be out in it .

.....Well 4. 67549 or whatever that was is not too bad, but I hope it picks up for you as the day goes on..oh, you are at evening now...have a good night Nova. ...coop

[[je...]]

Coop, I LOVE pinterest! I have boards for everything. I could spend hours on there if I let myself..

[[He...]]

Hi everyone,

I have had a really great weekend!  This is amazing to me because weekends are typically my worst times.  Yesterday started with watching my younger daughter play in a volleyball tournament.  It felt so good to sit in the stands, sipping my decaf latte, and watch my daughter!  No anxiety, no depression, no weird physical symptoms....simply calm and content.

 

Next we headed to my older daughter's basketball game, which was out of town.  I was a bit worried about how this would go after my experience with the last away game, but I had no anxiety.  I visited with my hubby for the 1 1/2 hour drive and felt calm and content, enjoying the drive and the conversation. 

 

We got back to town for dinner and I took my younger daughter out to a sit-down restaurant.  How wonderful to sit there and enjoy the conversation with my 14 year old!  She is growing into a wonderful, faith-filled, Godly young woman.  After dinner it was out to run a few errands, and then a stop for ice cream....two scoops for me. Yum!!

 

I got back home and watched some stupidly funny tv with my daughters. 

 

SERIOUSLY great day!  Today I am still feeling pretty good.  I had slight morning anxiety both mornings, but it disappeared quickly.  This window is wide open and glorious.  I hope that it will stay!

 

Love to you all,

HH

[[pe...]]

HH!

That's spectacular and i love every last detail, down to the decafe latte!

You are one who really enjoys and takes note of every wonderful moment.

 

Hurray and let it only continue with improvements along the way!

 

Peace2

[[Co...]]

HH,....hooray!!! .. .so happy to hear this. You sound just wonderful! ...I am so looking forward to month 18.....coop

[[li...]]

Coop-

I hope it's ok if I talk to you, buddy, because I need to talk to someone. I feel sick in my mind and body. Not as sick as I've ever been but so worn down by how it holds on despite time and my best efforts. And it's not nice to talk about, but I feel like throwing in the towel. How do we face another day? How do we believe in our healing? Is it really might and day between now and month 14, month 18, month 22? My hope is so low this evening. Just lost and exhausted.

 

Sorry everyone. I am not as upbeat as I would like. I really put it on for my little boys and let it go here.

 

Peace2

 

Peace, I can assure you that there is a world of difference between month 12th and 14th month. There was something about month 14 for me -- like I knew that I really started to "heal". I had a big wave month 12 ( not all people are the same obviously) It lasted 6 full weeks. I thought it would never go away and the BAM! The mother of all windows -- go figure! I think this window is it! It just feels different in a good way -- hard to explain. You have been through so much, Peace, and you are right around the corner to healing -- I know you don't entirely believe it.... You just have to believe in what those in front of you are saying. Don't let the wave deceive you. You will definitely heal!!!!!!

 

 

 

Life

[[pe...]]

Life- I'm so glad you are getting there! I look forward to your success story.

This thread is amazing. All of the bb's and posts. But you are one of a handful who are like family. Your success is all of our success. Out of the cave. And I want to believe it's possible for me too. But it's this intermittent tenacious depression. That's the battle I can't get out from. And I remember you had waves of depression. Will it go? It feels so permanent. Tell me when you were freed of it. Do I need medication to get free of it? Everyone and everything tells me not to do it. But I'm getting so worn down.

 

Love you, Life.

Peace2

[[mr...]]

Hi everyone,

I have had a really great weekend!  This is amazing to me because weekends are typically my worst times.  Yesterday started with watching my younger daughter play in a volleyball tournament.  It felt so good to sit in the stands, sipping my decaf latte, and watch my daughter!  No anxiety, no depression, no weird physical symptoms....simply calm and content.

 

Next we headed to my older daughter's basketball game, which was out of town.  I was a bit worried about how this would go after my experience with the last away game, but I had no anxiety.  I visited with my hubby for the 1 1/2 hour drive and felt calm and content, enjoying the drive and the conversation. 

 

We got back to town for dinner and I took my younger daughter out to a sit-down restaurant.  How wonderful to sit there and enjoy the conversation with my 14 year old!  She is growing into a wonderful, faith-filled, Godly young woman.  After dinner it was out to run a few errands, and then a stop for ice cream....two scoops for me. Yum!!

 

I got back home and watched some stupidly funny tv with my daughters. 

 

SERIOUSLY great day!  Today I am still feeling pretty good.  I had slight morning anxiety both mornings, but it disappeared quickly.  This window is wide open and glorious.  I hope that it will stay!

 

Love to you all,

HH

 

HH, YAY!!!! :yippee:

 

I'm telling you, I think it was the tummy bug that "uptick'd" you!  I've read that happening many times to other buddies...the "Mrs Theory of Reasoning" suspects it has something to do with the plentiful GABA receptors in the gut, and how they may get slightly "angry" with a tummy bug for some folks   Anyways, so glad to hear of your day!  You've always been so great at painting the picture of healing when you have good days ~~ I just LOVE reading your posts

 

Sleep well, friend,

 

Mrs.

[[Ha...]]

I'm right here Jen and coop... I have great days. Things still lingerie g are headaches, mild anxiety and heart palps. If the heart palps would go I'd be 95 percent healed... but nooo they linger... msg is not my friend...

 

Hugs to all

Happy me

[[je...]]

Super quiet on here today, I hope that means your all doing well. Thinking of all of you  jenny

[[He...]]

Quiet is right! I hope you all are doing good today!

 

My day is ok....not great, but ok. Its been a fairly productive one, though I have that feeling like something nasty is lurking just under the surface. Hopefully it won't raise its head and this window will stay open.

 

Wishing you all the best!

[[Co...]]

Hi Jenny...it is quiet...a lot going on over the weekend..How are you doing?

...After some really good days last week, I am wavy . The weekend was a re-visit with depression..hate that. Today some nausea /dizziness and fear...back to acute for a few days. Gonna get in Peace's row boat and row with her. I am far enough out to know that it will pass but it is discourging. Actually I was pretty surprised to have a go around with dizziness and nausea because I have been free of it for awhile for the most part. I did get some sunbreaks on and off...guess that's as good as its going to get today.

..... I have been reading the success stories constantly over the weekend .  There are so many that speak to healing completely by 24 months and great improvement by 18 months...hoping

....I hope your weekend was good...Wishing you improve mentioned every day....coop

[[He...]]

Hi Coop!

I'm sorry you are feeling wavy today! You're right, it will leave, but, yes, discouraging.

 

I hope your bright window comes back for you tomorrow. We are SO CLOSE to being done with all this, it's just so hard to see it through the waves!

 

Big hugs for you!

 

[[Co...]]

HH.  I am following your posts like crazy because you are doing so great at 18 months, but still fighting through on some days.  Not that I want you to be fighting through a y thing , but it helps all of us know that waves that come along in the second year does not mean anything more than the waves that came along in year one. .. You are so darn close HH.. and despite your jump down the rabbit hole last week you are going gang busters with healing. It seems like many of us are having shorter waves followed by very bright windows and/or really good baselines.  So glad I am not at the beginning of this.  Lol.  coop

[[No...]]

Okay ... quiet time is over ... 

 

My wife and I are still wrestling with some kind of bug that keeps coming back ... not much fun ...

 

Other than that ... well, same ole', same ole' ...

 

Just a draggie kind of Monday ...

 

Hope you all are doing okay ... chin up Coop ... just another round of stuff that comes in the front door and goes out the back door after messing up a few rooms ...

 

[[Co...]]

Aww..sorry to hear that Nova. My daughter in law had a resiratory bug at Christmas that came back to bite her again 4 weeks after she was feeling better.  I hope this is a short but for you and you emerge from it with a better baseline than " same ole  same ole" 

  ...You have the best images running around in your imagination. That is exactly it.  something right out of The Cat In The Hat.  In the front door.  tsunami through all the rooms and blast out the back door. I am expecting to be back to an 85% baseline tomorrow since I have put in my 3 day wave . 

  ..Feel better Nova.  coop

[[je...]]

Hi Coop,

I think I'm right where you are today. A little wavy, slightly depressed or apathetic and feeling quite discouraged today. I really think it is so much harder the farther out we get.. I seemed to be more optimistic in the beginning months, but not so much now. Ready for this to end for all of us! Jenny

[[Co...]]

Jenny, it is harder in the later months to get sent back to 'start'.  In the first 6 months I just expected to feel bad most of time. From month 6-11 I learned from the posts and success stories that hitting a 6 month wall was pretty much classical w/d. Now I really want to be done done done and even the mild waves discourage me. ...

....I hate to hear that you are wavy too...seems to be a familiar tune here.  Good days followed by bad...followed by good with improvement. Jenny, are your wave days last g for shorter bouts? ...My depression, that set up tent on Sat/Sun lifted this afternoon ...a lot...dizziness and moderate headache took its seat, but I really think it will be better tomorrow. Hang on Jenny.  the good days are right behind your momentary wave..  coop

[[li...]]

Life- I'm so glad you are getting there! I look forward to your success story.

This thread is amazing. All of the bb's and posts. But you are one of a handful who are like family. Your success is all of our success. Out of the cave. And I want to believe it's possible for me too. But it's this intermittent tenacious depression. That's the battle I can't get out from. And I remember you had waves of depression. Will it go? It feels so permanent. Tell me when you were freed of it. Do I need medication to get free of it? Everyone and everything tells me not to do it. But I'm getting so worn down.

 

Love you, Life.

Peace2

 

Yes, it will end and yes you will survive and thrive, Peace! Depression for me was the worst of all symptoms. The cycle for me was anxiety then depression or so much anxiety mixed with depression. I thought it would never end. But t did. That is not to say that I do not have depression from time to time -- I do -- but it is not that bone crushing, dark, lonely depression that would hit me after an anxious episode. The brain goes to depression when it is "head faked" so many times. The mere episodes of waves and windows is depressing. I would say that being sick and tired of feeling sick and tired is depressing in and of itself. So as you start feeling better -- and you will feel much better -- the depression will lift.

 

I personally think that the depression is NOT chemical but the anxiety is. What I mean by that is that the brains natural defense toward the chemical anxiety is depression. As the anxiety lifts I promise you that the depression will too.

 

Jenny, I saw your posts about being secretly jealous of those that are getting well.I think that this is also a very natural reaction.I must admit I was too while in waves. We are off 16 months this very special day! :)We are all healing. I know we are. I going through it!

[[je...]]

Hi life! Thanks for posting, I'm so glad your doing so well and seeing big improvements. I was just thinking today about how its been 16 months! I can't believe its been this long, but I'm so thankful to have each of you. Jenny 

[[ga...]]

Well here I am at 18 months and still not through it yet.  Still lots of external stressors that MAY be playing a part in the issues I am dealing with.  The sleep is still the biggest issue along with the occasional depression.  I have to believe the external issues have slowed me down in the past couple of weeks.  I am dealing with moving my 93 year old dad out of his home that he has lived in for the last 50 plus years.  It is difficult to witness.  He is not the same man the I once knew.  Just a shell of himself.  I know this has contributed to some of the difficulties I still experience.  Also, the early morning wakeups that were prevalent for so long that were do to ruminating about the "what if's" have lessened as the focus has shifted to my dad.  Maybe one day things will lighten up.

 

I get the sense that things are improving for so many.  Never give up!  It's one day at a time as we move forward in the process.  My thoughts are with you even though I am not here day to day.

 

Garton

[[Wi...]]

Hey garton,

 

Im 18 mo and a week.  I'm sorry you are having to deal eith the move for your dad.  There are so many emotions tied to our aging parents. 

 

I share a lot of your continued sx and really empathise. Never quite expected this result.  But at least one thing is for sure, at least i will never ever ever ever ever have to taper off benzos again in my life.

 

Chin up

 

Wwwi

[[ga...]]

Thanks so much WW...That is the positive I guess in all this.  No more of these horrible drugs. I certainly might benefit from a placebo at this point though!  Wish there was some magic pill out there.  I think I have tried them all over the years.