12-18 month support

[[mr...]]

Where is all my buddies today? HH, you doing okay today? Peace? Jenny? Coop? Nova? Sky? Green? Garton? WWWI? (Ok, benzo brain just said I've reached my limit for name memory...please try again later   ) Everyone else?

 

Mrs misses you. Please come out & play

 

Mrs.

[[He...]]

While we are talking health fears, mine is raising it's ugly head right now.  My doctor appointment is in less than an hour and I am starting to get nervous about it.  The "what-ifs" are out is full force....

 

Work was good today, though.  Only a few times of my torso tightening up and I tried hard to relax it.

 

Hopefully I'll be a part of the "I went to the doctor and everything checks out fine" club. 

[[mr...]]

You're going to be fine, HH You'll probably leave there feeling relieved, which is contrary to what your brain tries to say. Anything they tell you or they come across, you CAN HANDLE. Love ya girl

 

Mrs.

[[pe...]]

I have so much stress on my life, it's unreal. My dad died rather suddenly. We have to settle his affairs. My six year old suddenly has a stomach ache everyday, is grieving intensely, and hates school due to a terrible teacher. My husband has a doctor's appointment on Wednesday to look at a medical concern he's been hiding from me, my three year old is a tornado, I'm back at work full time and I'm still recovering. Could I catch a break? Like just a little one?

 

How am I gonna do this?

Hope y'all are not seeing this much 'action'.

 

Boof.

Peace2

[[pe...]]

HH,

Let us know how it goes.

Love you,

Peace2

[[dr...]]

Peace-I feel you as I feel dumped on today too.  I'm not saying mine is as serious as you but all suffering sucks. 

 

I know why I had that floater incident this am....wait....wait....it's good....I'm getting a damn migraine!!!!  Argh....I was just cooking a pork loin and my vision went all wavy. My doc gave me some meds for it but I'm afraid to take so I took a Tylenol,aspirin, and chugged a coffee.  Really?  My damn day was hard enough and to end my day with this sucks.

 

Grrr.l.venting. 

 

 

HH-keep us posted

[[pe...]]

Drew,

Remember this one from green?

No need to compare. Shit is shit.

 

From green:

I used to compare myself, my symptoms, was I worse off or better off.  It really doesn't matter if someone can work, and someone else can't, we're all still suffering terribly, we've been removed from our lives and dropped into the strange withdrawal land planet.  Our symptoms are all different, our healing is different, but we're all in the same boat, withdrawal, and we're all going to heal.

 

Love,

Peace2

[[je...]]

Peace and Drew-- sorry you guys are getting hit all at once. I hope tomorrow is a better day for both of you. ((Hugs)) jenny

[[mr...]]

Peace and Drew-- sorry you guys are getting hit all at once. I hope tomorrow is a better day for both of you. ((Hugs)) jenny

 

(((((Jenny)))))

 

I'm feeling a bit lonely tonight. Its a teensy bit quiet across the whole board tonight, it seems. How are you fairing this evening? Hope you're feeling quite well

 

We're getting about 6-8 inches of snow overnight - yay! We'll be able to do some sledding soon

 

Okie dokies, off to fall asleep to some Gilmore Girls whilst snuggling w/ Mr Have a great night!

 

Mrs.

[[Bl...]]

Mrs said you were a great group of people. I would like to get to know you better. I am almost 2 years off Xanax after 25+ years use. I am still healing.

 

Blue

[[je...]]

Mrs said you were a great group of people. I would like to get to know you better. I am almost 2 years off Xanax after 25+ years use. I am still healing.

 

Blue

 

 

Welcome bluebell, so great to have you here! Iam 15 months off and still healing as well. This thread is filled with so many wonderful people, your gonna love it. Jenny 

[[je...]]

Peace and Drew-- sorry you guys are getting hit all at once. I hope tomorrow is a better day for both of you. ((Hugs)) jenny

 

(((((Jenny)))))

 

I'm feeling a bit lonely tonight. Its a teensy bit quiet across the whole board tonight, it seems. How are you fairing this evening? Hope you're feeling quite well

 

We're getting about 6-8 inches of snow overnight - yay! We'll be able to do some sledding soon

 

Okie dokies, off to fall asleep to some Gilmore Girls whilst snuggling w/ Mr Have a great night!

 

Mrs.

 

 

Hi Mrs!

Sorry you are feeling a bit lonely. .. How have you been feeling since your jump? You seem to be doing quite well  snow?! That is awesome, I love snow! I don't get any of that where I'm from, and my kids are always saying they wish it snowed here. Hope you have a great night, and enjoy your cuddle time with Mr.  jenny

[[He...]]

Hi Guys!

So I made it through my appointment just fine.  She drew blood and is going to be testing my thyroid (said it felt "grainy" on one side when she felt it, whatever that means), and about 5 different vitamin/mineral levels. I am getting fit for a 24-hour cardiac halter thing on Friday.  It is purely to ease my own mind, she said that my heart sounded perfect and my blood pressure was excellent....but I told her my concerns so she is going with it. I'm waiting until Friday because you can't take a shower during the 24 hours. 

 

She thinks that my hormone levels are screwed up, and gave me a 6 page hormone questionnaire to fill out.  I think she may be testing my blood for hormone levels also.  She wants me to take 600mg of magnesium a day, plus a B-complex.  BUT....she said that it could all be normal and this is just my body recovering from the damage. We'll see what the tests show.  I'll be relieved either way....if it's hormonal and I can help it out a bit, great, but if everything is normal, at least I won't have the overwhelming fear that I'm dying making things worse. 

 

I'm starting to feel more like me again, and I'm hoping it stays around.  I am certainly not anywhere close to declaring my 6-week wave as over, by any means, but fingers are CROSSED that it's turning. 

 

It's been back to the races now that school has started up!  My younger daughter had a basketball game tonight and then I had to take her right to a late practice (8 - 9:30) for her traveling volleyball team.  I finally got home and am ready to soak in the tub before crawling into bed.  Luckily for me, my husband will pick her up when the practice is over!

 

Love to you all! 

[[He...]]

Peace-I feel you as I feel dumped on today too.  I'm not saying mine is as serious as you but all suffering sucks. 

 

I know why I had that floater incident this am....wait....wait....it's good....I'm getting a damn migraine!!!!  Argh....I was just cooking a pork loin and my vision went all wavy. My doc gave me some meds for it but I'm afraid to take so I took a Tylenol,aspirin, and chugged a coffee.  Really?  My damn day was hard enough and to end my day with this sucks.

 

Grrr.l.venting. 

 

 

HH-keep us posted

 

 

Crap, Drew.  I'm sorry you had a rough day!! UGH.  Can this ever let up?    Are you getting any relief from the migraine?

[[He...]]

I have so much stress on my life, it's unreal. My dad died rather suddenly. We have to settle his affairs. My six year old suddenly has a stomach ache everyday, is grieving intensely, and hates school due to a terrible teacher. My husband has a doctor's appointment on Wednesday to look at a medical concern he's been hiding from me, my three year old is a tornado, I'm back at work full time and I'm still recovering. Could I catch a break? Like just a little one?

 

How am I gonna do this?

Hope y'all are not seeing this much 'action'.

 

Boof.

Peace2

 

Hi Peace,

We heal even in the middle of major stress, it just might not feel as good as if the extra stress wasn't there.  You are so very, very strong, and you have done so much healing already.  That strength and progress will carry you through these rough times. 

 

It's hard enough to grieve, but watching your kids grieve just rips out your Mommy-heart. I struggled with how to help my girls when my grandma died just over a year ago.  They were so close to her, and it made it that much harder for me.  There are some really good books and resources on helping kids to grieve.

 

I'll be adding your kids and husband to my prayer list.  You are already there.

Love to you! 

[[dr...]]

Yes HH... I think I avoided the worst of it. The fast swallowing of the pain pills plus guzzling the coffee definitely helped.  I just kept calm and once my vision became normal I finished dinner.  Now just drinker ginger tea cause my tummy is all messed up from aspirin and coffee. 

 

Thank you for asking.

 

Today is in the books and hoping tomorrow is better for all of us.

[[...]]

Hey all,

Well this morning is ground hog day again ,yesterday as well, another bad day from morning to lights out. The morning dreads then despair hopelessness fear and depression. I realize this is part of WD,but how does one cope with it getting worse instead of better? The psych sxs are just plain relentless. And here I am obsessing that the treatment center c/t ,13 month ago has sent me in a much longer and torturous recovery. It's frightening and difficult to imagine another year at this level of psych punishment.

 

Everything I'm saying about the usual suspects you've all  heard time and again but it is just so relentless that I'm having to reach out more & more. I despise the emptiness in my chest and stomach and the fear of many more months at this level. Do some folks here still wake up to the dreads ,fear terror?

 

Most of my days are very dificult but the mornings are by far the worse.

I read where someone used the word SHELL SHOCKED and after enduring a year of this crap without any real windows except relief coming from the more tolerable days and moments, SHELL SHOCK and discouragement is the appropriate description.

 

It's just so crazy I even started wondering can it be the full moon that ramp up sx from bad to horrific?

 

Jrod

[[ga...]]

Jrod...I understand and am dealing with exactly the same thing now.  Early mornings are miserable.  If I sleep I wake up at 4 or so with dread and forboding.  Worries about the future and what my life will be like.  I am going through the motions and not really living and enjoying my life.  That leads to more depression and anxiety.  Dealing with issues with my 93 year old dad doesn't help.

 

I am working with a counselor.  Still find it so hard to put what I have learned to good use to get through these difficult times. I ask is this w/d or the real me.  I would like to believe it is just post traumatic syndrome regarding the years I remember being a zombie while on these meds.  It certainly was a traumatic period in my life....maybe  I just haven't escaped that period of my life yet. 

 

I manage to get though the day and pull out of my funk in the morning.  I just go through the day doing what needs to be done.  Sometimes I manage to distract with work, golf or exercise.  I retire in a few years and then what??? These are some of my deep seated fears.  More OCD on my part.

 

Anyway...you are not alone in this.  I don't know exactly how we pull out of this early morning ritual.  I t seems to be a habit lately.  My wife says it's all in my mind and my thoughts and I need to take some control and move past it.  Wish it was just that easy.

 

Garton

[[No...]]

Jrod and Garton ... we just keep going ... until we are out of this stuff ...

 

Yeah right ... take control and move past it ... we should be practicing out of body stuff now? ... 

 

That might be taking the silly notion of mind / body separation more off the rails than it already is ...

 

Freakin' cold here this morning ... not going for a walk ... something might snap off ...

 

Hope things quiet down for you today ...

[[Sk...]]

Hi everybody !

 

I am sorry that many of you are suffering so much in the mornings. Mornings are the best time for me, but after 12 pm things become like your mornings and things get out of hand.

 

I remember many buddies suffering from what seemed like adrenal fatigue and feeling so tired. I think I am having that now and it scares me because I was hoping to get small things done, like taking my puppy out and my online lessons but if this continues, I will have to pace myself in order to prioritize my work. I don't really know. What have you guys done that made things less bad ? I know there are no solutions. I am eating extra oranges and fruit, can't harm but I avoid them in the evening, afraid they will excite me.

 

HOpe you have other suggestions.

 

I am feeling down, but tiredness does that to you, makes you see things under a cloud. During the morning things appear simpler, but as the days go on, things look worse.

 

Hope you are all having a nice day, a better day. 

[[...]]

Hang in Gart !

although not many moments of reprieve there are still some and there will be more. Just takes such a long time for relief and improvement.

 

Nova, "take control move past it & we just keep going" is exactly what we need to do! Thx pal

 

Hey Sky maybe a nice brisk walk in the morn may help that afternoon downer?

[[Sk...]]

Jrod, I am wiped out because of the nice brisk walk. So you think I should walk even when I feel exhausted ? I thought that was what was getting me exhausted.

I have been walking so much in these last weeks.

 

 

I am having my period, so that does not help.

 

THanks !

[[Wi...]]

As one approaching 18 months and still under the thumb of bad mornings I am once again contemplating meds of some kind.  Its not just mornings.  I'm finding thst the anxiety is disabling me and handycapping me.  I watch myself begin to rage at people which is SO not what i want to do.  I feel as tho Im putting all the things that matter in my life at risk as a result.  Friends (whats left anyway), job etc.  I c as n no longer tell if its simply that my perspective is way off or if Im genuinrly screwing up my life because im always so anxious and scared. 

 

I know its wd, but it also feels like so much more.  I know the fear that its more than wd is a wd symptom all its own, but its hard not to assign these symptoms yo an existing anxiety disorder.  But even then, how does one figure it out and what med does one take and what help is really out there.  I feel like I'm in a corner with no real exit strategy.

 

I used to be funny and charming and loving.  Now just slwsys fearful.

[[sa...]]

Hi gang. I have not been around in a while. I'm starting to sleep better this week. 7-8 hours. This is such a big win and I hope it stays good. I find that I have much better odds of having a good day if I have slept well. Still getting up to pee every 4 hours though. I still think it's a withdrawal thing though since I didn't have this before.

 

I agree with what others say about the mornings. Horrible most days. I get lots of morning Anxiety and have to wait until about 10:30 to eat breakfast. It feels more like fear to me than anxiety, but it could be both. All the irrational thoughts and fears seem to come with it. It's amazing how this all vanishes in a window and you can imagine having felt that way ever. Then it comes back and you can't imagine that you ever felt normal. Like our memory gets erased. I long for the day when I wake up in a restful peace with no anxiety and lots of energy and peace. That will be nice.

 

 

[[He...]]

Mornings. Horrible!