12-18 month support

[[Fi...]]

Drew--I'm simply intensely interested in this whole phenomenon because I'm going to write about it for publication and I want to see the overall picture.  I'm convinced by the success stories that people do heal from this if they just stay the course they will heal and those who reinstate are making a tragic, if understandable mistake.

 

The extent of my reinstating during both benzo and opioid withdrawal was one Xanax, ten days after cold turkeying.  I wrestled with the idea of a rescue dose many many times in the darkest down times, but never did it.  I've just always known that going back on the pills was not the way to get well and I wanted to be well as soon as possible.

 

I should say that I have not suffered the unrelenting benzo symptoms that many of you have, and I'm sure it's been easier for me to not consider reinstating.  If it's threatening to you to read those stories, you probably shouldn't.  Best stick to the ones where people report success even if it took a lot of years.  That really does seem to be the final story, right?  That if people stay off the drugs, they get well.  I don't think you're going to find stories of people going back on the drugs and then going on to feel as well and happy as the people who've kicked them for good.  A lot of reinstatement stories are after the fact, where people are back here, trying to kick the benzos once again.

[[...]]

Maybe this is just the after effects from the holidays! Kinda a wind down!

 

Hope everyone feels relief soon!

 

[[He...]]

Thanks guys! I kept second guessing whether I even truly HAD a stomach virus, but my daughter was also sick and spent the entire day in bed along with me, which is completely unlike her. She was in tears for having to miss the fun with her friends. I think you all are probably right about it triggering a worse wave.  Now it's all mixed up with a huge layer of depression thrown in to boot.

 

Thankfully we are back home.  This wave has chewed me up and spit me out, beaten and battered, on the shore, only to keep grabbing me and pulling me back in.  I'm not surfing so much as tumbling in the surf, hitting the rocky bottom.

 

I guess this will end, like all the other times have.  Maybe I'll even find my surfboard again.

[[...]]

I think you're doing great HH! I'm still getting over a virus as well! No wave through this whole time (going on two weeks) but kinda feeling iffy today!

 

Feel better soon!

 

[[Fi...]]

Jenny--thanks.  I read the link you sent.  Guess I never read anything on the detox part.  Drew--I doubt you'd have any trouble reading this link.  It's not like this person has calmly reinstated and will have to pay the piper only way down the line.  He's already in trouble.  His story is very much a cautionary tale and should reinforce everybody who is staying the course.

 

HH--so sorry you're having such a rough time.  Personally I'm amazed that you managed to actually make this trip with your family!

[[He...]]

I think you're doing great HH! I'm still getting over a virus as well! No wave through this whole time (going on two weeks) but kinda feeling iffy today!

 

Feel better soon!

 

 

GMIT,

You are SO close to being done!  That is great that being sick didn't throw you into a wave!! So you've been wave free for a few weeks now?

[[je...]]

Jenny--thanks.  I read the link you sent.  Guess I never read anything on the detox part.  Drew--I doubt you'd have any trouble reading this link.  It's not like this person has calmly reinstated and will have to pay the piper only way down the line.  He's already in trouble.  His story is very much a cautionary tale and should reinforce everybody who is staying the course.

 

HH--so sorry you're having such a rough time.  Personally I'm amazed that you managed to actually make this trip with your family!

 

 

Yes, exactly. Everyone heals as long as we stay the course. I don't know why but I seem to run into posts like this all the time. The thing about it is that all these people who reinstate end up worse because the benzos don't work the way they use to.

[[...]]

I have! Before that, I was in a horrible negative/depressive time for a few weeks! It was different, and worse, than I had ever had!

 

I'm afraid to think I'm almost healed! I've felt really good before, only to slip into horrible waves! I am just going with the flow and trying to think positive thoughts! No expectations!

 

Jenny, I agree! I wouldn't even consider reinstating, although when the waves come they are wicked!

 

[[mr...]]

I pesonally don't even like reading or discussing  about peeps reinstating.  I'm never reinstating and it just reinforces benzo lies of me never healing. 

 

[[He...]]

Oh my gosh, I think I just might make it out of this state I'm in. I am able to eat small bites of food without gagging or throwing up, AND I just started my period.  Holy cow, talk about a trifecta of terror! I had been in a wavy month to begin with, and then to throw in being sick and having my period.  :sick:

 

Hopefully now that I can hold down food, I won't feel so weak and lightheaded (I lost 4 pounds!), which triggers all kinds of health anxiety. My depression and additional layers of anxiety should disappear in the next couple days now that my period started. Whew! I can already feel my frantic/crazy meter dialing down.

 

I think maybe I can see my surfboard! I can handle waves, but this has been scarily over the top.

 

I'm breathing a cautious sigh of relief... 

[[je...]]

Great News HH!! Things should  start calming down for you now  Jenny

[[...]]

YIPPEEEEE, HH!!

 

[[pe...]]

Oh Dear, HH!

That is the trifecta of terror, especially that hormonal piece. Our immune systems fall off when our hormones plunge so it's very likely a virus on top of it all. Good job staying the course. Glad the waves are breaking.

 

Peace2

[[je...]]

Hi Peace,

How's your sinus infection? Did the garlic help?

[[pe...]]

Hi Jenny-

I think the garlic and apple cider vinegar are helping. My snot is definitely thinner and clearer. I'm sticking to it. I'm so dedicated to natural remedies at this point. I kick myself every time I think about how this started with a stupid migraine medication!

 

Ugh, she said 2 years and 3 months later....

 

Peace2

 

And I read your progress log today, Jenny.  Sorry for all the crap symptoms you're still getting this far out and so glad the mental ones have faded away.

[[Co...]]

Hi 12-18 buddies...just catching up again...

.....Peace I just read back as far as your post on fatigue and exhaustion. Both are major components of grieving as well as w/d. My heart just goes out to you Mighty Girl. I am not surprised that you also have a sinus infection. Our poor bodies can take only so much stress. Yes, I think you are right to avoid the antibiotics ( and I have read some encouraging research on both raw honey and apple cider vinegar). I will never ( ever) forget the reaction I had to amoxicillin this summer. However that doesn't mean everyone will have a horrible time with it. Can you tolerate ibuprofen? I am so sorry that you are having such a sad and miserable time right now. It will get better Peace. You are getting close to the one year mark ( and you have fought tooth and nail every step of thevway). Things really changed for me at the 12 month mark. I still had ( and have) sx but things were better in spite of sx. I could really feel the healing underneath it all...I don't know how else to explain it.

    I am so glad you had some time off from school. Are you allowed bereavement time from your work? ..I am thinking of you Peace....Sending hugs and wishing you sunbreaks...love to you ...coop

[[He...]]

Speaking of natural help, I've been researching probiotics and have decided to start taking them. Below is a quote from an article I found about studies concerning probiotics helping with anxiety and depression:

 

John Cryan of the Alimentary Pharmabiotic Centre at University College Cork in Ireland has taken this idea further by studying how lactobacillus bacteria in the gut specifically influence the brain. Cryan discovered that lactobacillus actually alters the brain-cell receptors for GABA in a positive manner, thereby reducing anxious behavior. The bacteria not only create more GABA receptors, but also produce the neurotransmitter itself which then circulates in the blood. All of this has a profound impact on emotional balance and the nervous system. As observed by Emily Deans, MD, “GABA is a nice glass of wine in front of the fire. GABA is restful sleep. GABA is tranquility and yoga.”

 

Very interesting how the bacteria supposedly creates more GABA receptors!

Any thoughts or experience with taking probiotics?

[[Co...]]

Peace, ...just an FYI ....I have been making a ginger / raw honey tea with tumeric in it as well.  I think it has helped my body pain as ginger and tumeric are a anti-inflammatory. 

......Here is the recipe...

.....Pour 2/3 cups of filtered water into a sauce pan. Add 3 tbs. of honey,....peel and mince a finger length knob of ginger and add to the honey and water...bring to a boil and let boil until it is all reduced to a syrup

........Add 6 cups of distilled water to the syrup and simmer gently for 20 minutes. As the tea simmers add 1-1 1/2 tsp of tumeric. I also mince a couple of medium cloves of organic garlic and throw that in too while everything is simmering, but you can omit it if you don't like garlic.

......This can keep in the fridge for 3-4 days. I drink a couple of cups a day. I heat it in the micro. I sometimes have it at bedtime without revving, but you might want to test it during the day for a few days first. ...it really doesn't take as much time as it sounds like to make up the tea and I think it is more beneficial than tea bags.. cheaper too.

......feel better Peace..  coop

 

 

[[dr...]]

I take them on and off and no negatives to report. I try and buy a probiotic with bacteria lacto rhino...something or other. It has been shown to be the one that produces the gaba best.

[[He...]]

I take them on and off and no negatives to report. I try and buy a probiotic with bacteria lacto rhino...something or other. It has been shown to be the one that produces the gaba best.

 

I'm going to start taking it regularly. I was interested in the positive effects on depression and anxiety, but when I read about it actually helping to grow new receptors it sealed the deal. 

[[pe...]]

Thanks, Coop. I love you, buddy. How are you?

 

Probiotics- Lactobacillus rhamnosus is the one. I just started taking a probiotic since I've been eating so much raw garlic and drinking vinegar. Not noticing anything yet.

 

Peace2

[[Co...]]

Green, you sound just like where I am again...sx but my baseline is holding at a steady 90%...I am still getting some headaches and low grade swaying dizziness. My weird intrusive thoughts of death/dying and heath fear still come and go, I still get traumatic flashbacks of the sx that sent me to er and terrible fear of ever going back to an er. My mornings can still be a little tricky with momentary moderate depression but those horrible cortisol surges and raw chemical anxiety are GONE ( knock on wood...those awful morning wakeups have been reliably gone for about 2cmonths...at least)  Having said all of that....it is so so much better. I was just thinking about last spring when I was still having bouts of dread and fear if someone was coming for a visit. Sometimes I would hide in my room and not answer the door.  I was in a constant state of dread, fear, intrusive thoughts and head pressure....It is for the most part 95% gone except for lingering ones I mentioned. Strangely I do still get random days of real depression but they are infrequent and lift completely within 12-24 hours ( that can seem like years).

    My very good friend who I have been walking with ( she walked , I rolled in my wh/ch.lol)  for 18 months has moved away as her husband's job was relocated. She was a huge support as her husband was also w/ding from depakoate. I thought I was really in for it having her move away. The first day was hard and I had some old acute sx show up... but unvelievably.  the next day, in spite of being really sad I had a full blown effortless mind day. Much in the way that Life describes his ability to handle stress and still be ok.  I was blown away. I miss her dearly and am sad when I take the dog out walking.  But it is all such normal sadness and grief.  nothing like the black twisted looping awfulness of w/d sx

    I am crossing my fingers .  Hoping with all my heart that things continue in this direction. I am beginning month 14 on Sat. ...and  my ex and I are taking one of our grandsons to see The Hobbit...and I have planned some adventures out with my daughter 3 days next week...and I have no sense of fear or dread. .. .

  .Green.  you and I and Michael, and Drew, and HH and FJ and Jenny and Lisa and Peace ...and all of us on this thread are getting better.  I can not wa it to see all the posts this Spring.

. ...Happy New Year Green, .  This is THE year our lives are coming back.  coop

[[Fi...]]

I take a capsule of probiotic every day and try to eat Activia regularly.  In the book Total Recovery, the doc writing it has a lot to say about the importance of the gut and its relationship to the formation of serotonin etc.  He says it only takes a few days of ibuprofen to mess up your system.  I had been taking a lot, steadily just for pain, and am glad I hardly ever take any now.  I can't repeat all the science involved here on the probiotics, but it made sense to me so I take it!  And except for three periods of benzo belly (right after CT, at 6 months and at 14 months) my stomach feels pretty good. 

[[je...]]

Yep, that's the one peace. I have taken probiotics on and off with no ill effects. Kefir used to help me a lot, and then I stopped seeing any benefit so I stopped. Started taking it again recently and it seems to help  a little. Can't tell for sure if it has helped a ton or not.

[[je...]]

Hi fj,

How does the ibuprofen mess us up? I take it all the time, so iam curious. Jenny