12-18 month support

[[Sk...]]

And pumpkin bread !

 

I read about it here, I think it was Beulah who was making it.

 

I looked it up, didn't know about it at al l.

 

Another list of things i am learning in wd.

 

Nova, are you already up or still awake ?

[[No...]]

Sky ... I am already up ... been having a bout of broken sleep these last few days ... a cycle of awake every hour or so ... so sometimes I just get up and start my day ...

 

It is 4:30 Am here, been up sine 3 ...

[[Sk...]]

How much sleep would you say you get these days ?

 

I think I would say I get roughly 6 hours of sleep, but it's really light, I am in vigilant mode all the time.

 

Here it's 9.27 am.

 

 

Will you be taking one of your walks ?

[[No...]]

Sky ... I will be going out when it gets light out ... maybe a couple of hours or so ...

 

I get 4 - 6 - 8 hours of sleep ... varies ... just not getting the deep, restful sleep lately ...

 

It will come back ... always does ...

[[No...]]

Here is an interesting thought ...

 

WORD FOR THE DAY

 

Forgiveness means letting go of the hope for a better past.

 

LAMA SURYA DAS

[[Sk...]]

Here is an interesting thought ...

 

WORD FOR THE DAY

 

Forgiveness means letting go of the hope for a better past.

 

LAMA SURYA DAS

 

Very very nice one, Nova.

 

Thanks for sharing.

[[...]]

Bj-I had a cranial massage yesterday.  There a bit tight as always. Will take a hot bath once I get my stress response down.

 

Sofa-on the mag I've had trouble a few times before and my doc thinks it's in my head. I can't find anything anywhere about mag revving people except here and I try to separate myself from indulidyal stories.  We agreed taking the other three supps without the mag is better wether it's psychological or not at this point.  He wants to do a double blind test on me

 

sorry your with me in the soup.  I was in whole foods and couldn't even buy any food I could eat for lunch. Cats got there food though.

 

Hey drew, sorry you're having a rough day. I can't touch magnesium, I've tried several kinds..Drs.Best and the multivitamins really rev me up and cause panic. It calms my muscle pain..but not worth it.

 

Well, as long as the cats got fed.

 

 

 

 

 

Drew, we sound very similar at the moment. It's exhausting, constantly telling yourself it's NOT in your head when our benzo brains are screaming at us that it is. I've been taking curcumin x4000 for the last couple of months and even though it helps with the pain (a really good natural anti inflammitory), I'm begining to wonder if it's not doing me any favours in terms of anxiety. Who knows! All I know is that I'm so wired I can hardly breath or think. Maybe our brains are doing some overtime in healing, mine is on fire right now. I'm going to stop it anyway.

 

Hope you get some relief soon.

 

I think we could all do with visiting Beulas Healing Island for some R & R. I'm going to take a walk and do some deep breathing, thank goodness I'm not busy at work.

 

Hope you're managing Peace 

[[dr...]]

I can't tell from above who is taking circumin but I know several people here who it revved real bad.  That may be contributing.

[[Si...]]

Well I had several nice weeks where I felt like I was finally making it out of this garbage. Still had symptoms, but were kind of minor. Main thing is I was sleeping 5-6 hours most nights. Got a cold 2 days ago and barely slept at all last night. I feel terrible today. I'm working from home. I seriously hope this doesn’t set me back like the flu did 6 months ago. I can't go 6 more months of that again. So frustrated.

 

Sorry, hope everyone else is doing ok.

[[Co...]]

Sky.  Did your breathing come back ok?..  Just remember ... moving is a very big deal ....and stressful for everyone..  even the 'normals'..  ..While you are without Internet you will be in my thoughts....Yes, an Internet Cafe.  . Great suggestion...along with the sweet treat. ...You are navigating it really well..  but it is an emotional land mine. I think I am going to have to move next year as my comole was purchased by a national corporation and the projected rents look almost half again increase..... I am already starting to stress , but managing to be able to reason and problem solve. My ex is also moving in the Spring and I have gone with him to look at a few condos and complexes. He brought up the wild thought if sharing as roommates.... We could both definitely benefit financially from that kind of arrangement....and we are good enough friends to make it work I think. The things the changing economy forces you to think about.. 

.....We are all thinking about you Sky....Post when you can.  and try some pumpkin bread...it's delicious.  Love to you Sky..  coop

[[Co...]]

Nova....good morning... enjoy your walk.  3am.  Too early.  Wishing you some naps today. . Just getting ready to get my doggie out.  Wishing you a very good day..  .coop

[[...]]

I can't tell from above who is taking circumin but I know several people here who it revved real bad.  That may be contributing.

 

 

 

It's me Drew 

[[No...]]

Geez ... went of for a walk early ... very comfortable ... decided to go out again ... now hot and sticky and yukky ... oh well ...

 

Kind of a "flu" sort of day ... but not heavy duty ... still working with the clarity and no anxiety/panic stuff ... sounds good to me ...

 

Can't even clean again today ... cleaned this placed Monday and Tuesday ... and don't need any bread right now ... I'm bored ... 

 

Meatloaf and mash and beans and gravy tonight ...

 

Hope we all have a pleasant day ... 

[[No...]]

Siggy ... a summer cold ... sheesh ... hope it passes real quick ... 

[[No...]]

Coop ... I am sort of "wired" today ... so probably no nap ... and I think wired is good ... maybe it will spend some of this energy that seems to be percolating around me ...

 

This sense of 90% done and stalled on the last 10% is making me a bit silly ...

 

Maybe horseback riding will put me over the edge ... who knows ... 

 

Have a good day ...

[[Si...]]

Siggy ... a summer cold ... sheesh ... hope it passes real quick ... 

 

Thanks, me too! One of the "perks" of having a wife that's an elementary school teacher.

 

Hope your 10% resolves soon. Wouldn’t that be nice? 

[[dr...]]

good morning all...had another night of restless sleep and feeling a bit wired but no heart palps/breathing issues.  I skipped the migraine supp and I am positive that was adding to it.  As a matter of fact I am cutting out everything including D again until at least another year off.  Any deficiency can last another year. 

 

I am also cutting back on relying on my therapist as he is good in some areas but in benzo withdrawal he is better than most but less than us.  He is good at talking me off the cliff but he insists it is not the supp and it is in my head.  I know my body and when I say this it is typical psycho babble about out minds controlling everything.  There is no way to convince someone of this so screw it. 

 

I am not saying the supps are causing everything I experience and I will still have anxiety, panic, etc...but this was so other worldly.  My barber said I acted like a crystal meth head!  All twitchy and stuff.  I was grinding and clicking my jaw like crazy too.  Panic attacks I get are all situational now and I can calm myself down leaving an environment or through meditating.  This panic attack followed me out the store and all the way home.   My rant is over! 

[[No...]]

Drew ... hope things settle down for you soon ... they will eventually, but sooner is more pleasant than later ... 

[[be...]]

Here is an interesting thought ...

 

WORD FOR THE DAY

 

Forgiveness means letting go of the hope for a better past.

 

LAMA SURYA DAS

 

 

I love that!! Thank you!!

 

The past is gone..moving forward. You can't enjoy tomorrow if you don't let go of yesterday.

 

 

Hi all,

Reading some posts here. The head pressure is still going strong and I'm having a little trouble catching up on your posts.

The weather got hot here again..near 90 and very humid.

 

Have the best day you can.

 

 

[[Wo...]]

So I'm coming up on my 15th month off and things are pretty bad. I was down to two symptoms and feeling almost normal for about the past 4 months or so. Well, most everything is back and some things worse than a year ago. This is confusing, sad, worrying, and all around shitty. Also, my positivity is completely gone and I don't feel any hope at all anymore. The only reason I'm alive really is cause I could never go through with taking my own life. But yeah I pretty much would rather be dead. On top of that I'm being booted from my house where I had my music studio which was the only thing I had to be happy about. It's really expensive in the bay area so I'm moving back in with my mom at 38 years old. Good times.

 

Sorry to dump this on you all, but you're the only folks I can think of that would understand this at all. I hope you all are doing better than me.

[[mr...]]

Wondernova,

 

You should know that this timeframe proves to be a bit difficult for many in withdrawal. If you read back through the pages here, you'll read of dear Coop, Jenny, Green, Healinghope, and many more experiencing this at around 15-16 months. I'm so proud of you for coming this far! Know that it will pass, and that you will feel better than you did before

 

You've been a beacon for many, bro. Moving back home ain't the end of the world. Its a time to start anew.

 

Proud of you. Go get this!

 

Mrs.

[[...]]

What is it with toxic naps? Came home from work totally wiped out and sometimes we have to just give in. Now just spaced out, dizzy and yuk urgh!

 

 

Coop, I think that sound like a lovely idea with your ex. If that would work and you enjoy each others company then what a lovely end to your nightmare of wd. We all need a happy ending.

 

Sky, how you are coping with moving home heaven knows. It's not surprizing you cannot breathe.

 

Nova, your words for the day are inspiring as usual.

 

 

to everyone

[[Gr...]]

Well, I cancelled my cycling trip.  It was so not doable, but I have moments where I feel like me, invincible, like anything is possible.  and then it passes, and I'm cycling through some symptoms that feel almost as bad as acute.  but it's def not acute.  For all of you behind me, take note, healing is def happening.  I feel well enough that I'm no longer tiptoeing around the wicked withdrawal witch and her flying monkey symptoms.  My symptoms are manageable enough now, even the ones I consider momentarily bad, that I don't collapse with fear and dread.  That is def healing.  I guess it's like Coop and Nova said, the mind has returned, the self has returned, and you get impatient with the last 10, 20, 30 % of the healing process.  You know it's close and it's frustrating.

I did speak with Baylissa, and it was worth every penny.  As JRod said, she's worth more than a regular therapist, on benzo wd, because she gets this, she's been through it.  I don't have to spend time trying to explain why I'm still having symptoms, and wondering whether she believes I have underlying psych issues, which I'm quite sure my therapist thinks.  My own therapist, she's a lovely woman, but she really can't believe after all this time that it's still withdrawal.  And I have to be careful on a weak minded day that she doesn't convince me of that!

 

Baylissa assured me that she had spoken to countless people who had the same mixed up sleep pattern as mine and it eventually righted itself.  That's what I needed to hear.  What has gotten me through every step of this mess was knowing someone else had the bizarre, frightening symptoms I had and that person got better.  Baylissa has spoken to 7000 people in withdrawal.  I felt like I knew her -- I read both her books.  And there was an instant connection that made it so easy to talk to her.  it's like we are survivors of a very uncommon life-changing experience, and all of us will always share that connection, no matter age, gender, socioeconomic

And for now it's hard for me to connect with people, I'm a little isolated.  I'm sure it will pass soon.

 

Welcome to all of the new people.  this is a safe wonderful place to heal.

 

 

[[dr...]]

Sorry on the trip green but I'm really happy with the rest of your update.

[[No...]]

Wondernova ... we are all doing the best we can wherever we are in this process ... some of these months are very hard ... and things do get better ... all we have to do is stick with it ...

 

Be Well ...