12-18 month support

[[Gr...]]

Hey Green,

I'm just bopping in and may have missed the part where you received a memo from the benzo clerk about how long you would take to heal. But according to your ticker you're at 20 months and the rule book distinctly states that no one gets to question anything until they hit the 24 month mark. Looks like you've got some time.

Someone (maybe you) just finished telling me that a month is like dog years in brain recovery.

 

Seriously, I'm sorry things are hairy and acceptance has slipped out the door ( I know the feeling!). But you're also doing amazing. Who else got on a plane and went to Georgia on her own, goes into THE city for theatre on a regular basis, responds to nearly every post? Um, no one but you. And sleep is good for the brain. Sleep on!

 

I see you're healing. Good things are happening and improvements are coming in the next few months. Always gonna be here for you.

 

Peace2

 

Okay, Mighty Girl, ya got me.  Thank you.  I was going to jump.  I think I need a major breakdown, meltdown like maybe every three months?  Yes, I get sick of being cheerful and mature and adult, and I just want to drop to the floor and kick and scream like a two year old. 

 

Really, thank you.  When I first read this and the others, I teared up, I was so grateful for all of you.  The friends and family and doctors don't get it, but you guys all do, and that goes a long way.  TY.  Better days are coming!  and my mind held.  I truly am grateful for that.

[[Gr...]]

Green ... doesn't the "new normal" change every other day? ... 

 

And ... the rocking has worked for me ... sorry I never mentioned it ... 

 

I am simply outraged.  You knew about the rocking and didn't tell me?!  It's like a secret weapon, it really works

 

Nova, how are you doing?  Got a good walk in, I see.  Things are always better if there's a walk.

 

[[Gr...]]

Green, .  I am with you....tired tired all the time.  My fatigue is deep in the morning and let's up some in the afternoon.I really have not experienced fatigue like this ever. I feel like my body is literally filled with cement. Heavy heavy limbs and a physical feeling that I am actually unable to get up....it is spooky wierd. I am not sleeping great but I am getting some sleep at night....enough to not be physically incapacitated by fatigue.  Yep.  A few more months.  Like Peace reminds us.. the rule book of w/d stipulates.....Q&A following the 24 month core presentation...  We really are getting there....and yes , accepting and surrendering helps us stop spinning in our minds, but damn!....it is so hard to accept and surrender to sx after a period of feeling good....Green, I am 100% convinced beyond even an inkling of a doubt that you are mere milileters away from healing.  7000 relatives?.  Thats not a family tree , it's a forest..  You have been busy all these months of w/d.. I have nothing to show for 2 years of w/d except drawers and closets that have been cleaned out so many times that they are practically bare...Wishing you rest tonight.  coop

 

Coop, I know you're right, things are going to get better.  I let the fear and negativity get to me, I guess that's a symptom, right, thinking there must be something else wrong, or I'm going to be like this forever. 

 

I think the fatigue is very common at the end, and that it's the last to go, that's what I hear.

 

I will trade 2000 of my relatives for a good house cleaning

[[Gr...]]

It took me 5 hrs to read all your posts.  Unfortunately, I didn't read much good news. Most everyone is in the soup and trying to survive horrendous side effects that would send  most people running to the ER. Most of the time we recognize that the ER would do no good because it's just W/D.

 

Seems most of us are still struggling with people who find it hard to believe that we could still be suffering from W/d. It's so sad too, because it's hard enough to go through this and then have people question our integrity. What can we do but just fight on.

 

I'm glad to read that none of you have lost your will to fight to the end. We all will heal it's just going to be f..ing unconfortable getting there.

 

Hope you all have a window real soon.

 

Korbe

 

Korbe, a lot of us in this time place, 20-22-24 are struggling with fatigue.  I'm sorry you still have the nerve pain, that's the worst. I think Jenny still struggles with that.

 

Glad you're sleeping nights.  You think the muscle relaxer helped?  Who cares.  Sometimes we need a little help.  I'm still sleeping from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m., so I lose half the day, which is getting on my nerves. 

 

Have you tried warm baths for the nerve pain?  I heard that helped.

 

Hang in there.  That we're all in the same boat is some comfort, better than being alone.

[[No...]]

Green ... sorry .. may I plead "cog fog"? ...

 

I think I may be having the fatigue as well, just not recognizing it as such ... certainly have the mental fatigue ... and a definite lack of wanting to engage anything ...

 

Perhaps a little spin-off depression ...

 

Just another week in paradise ... 

[[No...]]

Korbe ... I was thinking about you ... sorry things are so rough for you ... these long waves so far out are difficult to be with ...

 

Hope you get some relief soon ... 

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... no thunderstorms last night ... still, sleep was broken ... feel rested but no energy ... legs feel like dead weights ...

 

Hope we all have a good day today ... 

[[Sk...]]

Hey Green,

I'm just bopping in and may have missed the part where you received a memo from the benzo clerk about how long you would take to heal. But according to your ticker you're at 20 months and the rule book distinctly states that no one gets to question anything until they hit the 24 month mark. Looks like you've got some time.

Someone (maybe you) just finished telling me that a month is like dog years in brain recovery.

 

Seriously, I'm sorry things are hairy and acceptance has slipped out the door ( I know the feeling!). But you're also doing amazing. Who else got on a plane and went to Georgia on her own, goes into THE city for theatre on a regular basis, responds to nearly every post? Um, no one but you. And sleep is good for the brain. Sleep on!

 

I see you're healing. Good things are happening and improvements are coming in the next few months. Always gonna be here for you.

 

Peace2

 

Peace, wow, I couldn't agree more ! Good points, thanks for telling her ! 

 

You too sound quite good, if you are able to give this kind of advice !

[[Sk...]]

Hi Peace ... there was a memo? ... probably got shredded ...

 

Hope you are doing well ...

 

Take care, my friend ... 

 

 

The rulebook ?

 

I always miss out on everything here ! 

[[Sk...]]

Green, .  I am with you....tired tired all the time.  My fatigue is deep in the morning and let's up some in the afternoon.I really have not experienced fatigue like this ever. I feel like my body is literally filled with cement. Heavy heavy limbs and a physical feeling that I am actually unable to get up....it is spooky wierd. I am not sleeping great but I am getting some sleep at night....enough to not be physically incapacitated by fatigue.  Yep.  A few more months.  Like Peace reminds us.. the rule book of w/d stipulates.....Q&A following the 24 month core presentation...  We really are getting there....and yes , accepting and surrendering helps us stop spinning in our minds, but damn!....it is so hard to accept and surrender to sx after a period of feeling good....Green, I am 100% convinced beyond even an inkling of a doubt that you are mere milileters away from healing.  7000 relatives?.  Thats not a family tree , it's a forest..  You have been busy all these months of w/d.. I have nothing to show for 2 years of w/d except drawers and closets that have been cleaned out so many times that they are practically bare...Wishing you rest tonight.  coop

 

I wish I had those !

 

Coop, seriously, what do you call all you have done on the thread here ? Listening to all of us, responding intelligently ? Priceless, and that is one of the things you have to show for this time. 

 

 

[[Sk...]]

Drew ... I don't know anything about migraines other than folks tell me they can be awful ... do what you can, if there is some relief out there I am sure you will find it ...

 

The migraines.

 

The ones you have, Drew, remind me a lot of the ones I had in tolerance. They were awful, there was not a single thing I could do. It felt like somebody was pounding on me relentlessly with a baseball bat for hours on end.

 

I took all sorts of medicines for them, I did not know it was chemical, I just thought it was me.

 

I would call off work, I could barely keep my eyes open or speak. I simply could not function.

 

I would take so many headache pills, they never helped, but I thought if I didn't take them, it would be so much worse. I was in terror.

 

You seem to have a grip on it, that is a great starting point.

 

Wd is bad, but migraines are widely misunderstood as well, so you are lucky  people are understanding when you mention them.

 

All I am saying is hang in there, it's awful to have migraines due to benzo wd.

 

 

[[Sk...]]

Thanks for the nice words coop. My wave continues as it has for the past week. Just totally cruddy feeling. The only good news is that I slept last night again. Went to bed around 1am, but probably didn't fall asleep until 1:45 - 2. Had a few night awakenings, but fell back asleep. The alarm clock has woken me up the last few mornings, which is something that hasn't happened in a while. So I'm hoping all of this starts to quickly get better for me soon.

 

I'm super busy at work with a lot of very large jobs. I'm working on a large complicated one for our company VP (use to be one of our sales reps for a long time). She was giving me compliments on how fast I'm working on the job. Somehow I don't know how I keep moving forward even though I feel like crud most of the day. 

 

drew, sorry about the migraines, luckily I haven't ever had to deal with that. I do have a few co-workers that get them intermittently.

 

I'm trying to not be on the boards so much. I may stop in later though.

 

Siggy, great to hear you were able to sleep. Sleep is the most important thing in wd. 

[[Sk...]]

Good Morning ... no thunderstorms last night ... still, sleep was broken ... feel rested but no energy ... legs feel like dead weights ...

 

Hope we all have a good day today ... 

 

Nova, hope so too !

 

Sorry  you are feeling without energy, that is really bad.

[[Si...]]

I only slept maybe two hours last night. My head is on fire. I hate everything.

[[No...]]

Hi Sky ... you are sounding chipper ... hope you have a good day ...

 

I got a case of the jitters this morning ... and anxious ... light and sound bothering me ... been a while since that happened ...

 

Low and slow this morning ... 

[[No...]]

Siggy ... sorry to hear you are having a rough morning ... hope things settle down for you ... 

[[Si...]]

Siggy ... sorry to hear you are having a rough morning ... hope things settle down for you ... 

 

Thanks Nova, me too. Hope you're ok this morning.

[[Co...]]

Green ... sorry .. may I plead "cog fog"? ...

 

I think I may be having the fatigue as well, just not recognizing it as such ... certainly have the mental fatigue ... and a definite lack of wanting to engage anything ...

 

Perhaps a little spin-off depression ...

 

Just another week in paradise ... 

 

....Nova, I thought your kitchen was awfully quiet lately.  The lethargy . ...I am one day away from sitting in a corner drooling. 8 have to talk myself into moving from the couch to the bed.  My mind is restless and my body is, " nope, not moving today....at all".  ....Mine comes and goes...Hope you get enough oomph to get to the market or go for a ramble or throw together something soothing and yummy in your kitchen of wellness..  Wishing you a very good day....coop

[[Co...]]

Korbe, ...yes I agree about the scope....I have already refused one and will be doing a barium swallow study, a ct to look for hiatal hernia and an ultrasound for gallbladder. I know that sounds like a lot, but my belly pain hurts alot .. .the cough is much better. My pdoc wants to r/o liver, gallbladder and pancreatic issues. All my labs were ok so I am sure the tests will show nothing more than reflux. I have refused a ppi because they disable the functioning of the 'pumps' that provide gastric enzymes and fluids and have to be tapered off of. I have read that the pain returns for a few weeks after tapering ..  I am trying to avoid all that. I am having some relief with dietary changes and following Beulah's advice.

....Korbe, you are going to start feeling better. You have been through it and this far out we are just so worn down from months and months of w/d.  I hope the better sleep pays off with some improvements in sx....thinking of you and it was great to see you here... .coop

[[Co...]]

Sky....thank you for those kind words. ..I feel like my weeks are made up of Groundhog Day days... Although it's true , lately I have been doing more. ..You sound  very much on the upside today.  You hugely deserve it.  How is the packing and moving preparation going. You once said that you never felt that you connected to your current community. It sounds like you are already feeling connected to your new house with thoughts of your mother visiting ...with her own suite ..  and planning on personal revisions and fixes. ....

.....Wishing you an Effortless Mind day.  coop

[[Co...]]

Green....lol...no thanks on the relatives....but I will come and clean your closets for taking in a show with my buddy who is fearless while driving.

.......Your wander lust ...world trekking days are coming back.  I know you have had it with low and slow and hanging out on the couch with 7000 'family members'.. .just go with it the best you can a little longer.  ...The sleep sounds great. I agree.. Sleep whenever and wherever you can get it. I am finally starting to wake up at 6am instead of 330/4 am...makes a big difference.

....I am on my way this afternoon to the gastrointerologist .. not anxious ( yet) as it is a consult and no invasive tests . Scans and ultrasounds and x-rays don't scare me.. except for fear about what they might reveal....so far nothing so hoping to keep that going. 

....Green.. at least you are not lonely with all those 'people' from your 'family' rolling around in your head and tablet....Wishing you a day with some good energy....love to you....coop

[[Co...]]

Siggy...thinking of you buddy....it's going to get better. Go slow and low and keep hanging out here with us..  coop

[[Co...]]

Drew,....thinking of you today fellow health fear buddy. I hope your spin out of these last waves holds for you today. ...Wishing you some much needed Effortless Mind time.  .coop

[[Te...]]

Coop ...good luck on doctors appointment..

 

Are you taking anything for stomach...thinking about trying apple vinager ....tried aloe vera...didn't notice any change....found anything that helps please let me know

 

TM

[[No...]]

Coop ... have a good "consult" ... better you than me Gunga Din ...

 

One day away from sitting in the corner drooling ... hmmm ... probably not ... anyway ...

 

Got the jitters and the benzo palsy in my hands this morning ... not terrible, mostly vibrations ...

 

Another day in paradise ...

 

Be Well, my friend ...