12-18 month support

[[dr...]]

Posted too soon.  Just ramped into panic land 

[[dr...]]

it passed...surrnedered and waited for it to pass....one of those days.

 

I can leave work if I want but I refuse to leave while under duress of a panic.  I don't want my body/mind thinking I can just flee during apanic attack.  I plan on trying to make today a moral victory if nothing else.  

[[Te...]]

I'm just wondering....I'm I the only one who has symptoms 24/7even before jumping off of benzo?

Ive been blessed with teeth,jaw,face......issues.....along with a terrible taste all 24/7 .....I'm beginning to wonder if it's something else other than benzo withdrawal

All you seem to have made ths journey .....but haven't noticed a lot with ongoing ...never leaving symptoms....sorry but I'm at my wits end.....so tired....seen so many doctors...about nerves in mouth...had root canal extraction....three surgeries...that area is so tight....nerves in teeth,jaw, and face is terrible....due to this it causes stress...was diagnoised last week with Syogrens Disease....

But at least my hip feels better today....

But my mouth...and face.....is a mess of nerves....

If any of you have 24/7 symptoms before and after jumping from benzo.....i would love to hear..

TM

[[dr...]]

Texas-I was in tolerance withdrawal for years.and my taper was very difficult.  I'm not in acute like stuff 24/7 but I haven't had many free and clear of everything moments.  Don't think I ever will until I'm healed and who knows what that will look like.  I went on the mess for anxiety/panic.  All I know this is nothing like anything I had before and my old anxiety/panic was nothing so severe.  I also have tools and this experience to handle any old issues now.  I think I'll be much better off after this process.  In a window I can overlook minor things and consider it a blessing to have those times. Not sure if I answered your question.

[[je...]]

Hi buddies,

I had to take my son to his Dr for a check up and make sure he's all healed since surgery, I had anxiety all morning as I despise going to any Dr appt... I survived and felt fine once I was out of the office. Tonight we have dinner plans with friends and I'm already dreading it. I just hate the fact that I don't enjoy anything, everything I do is me pushing through and just getting through it, but I don't find any joy in it. My POTS sx are in full effect and I just feel so sick today, just want to lay down. Do you guys have a hard time even being able to tell if your better? When I'm in a wave like now, I can't see any healing, which I know isn't true. Does anyone else feel like that?

 

Green-- happy month 20! I felt a lot better in that month

Drew-- hope your feeling better!

 

[[pe...]]

Hi Jenny,

I know you're getting better. It's just nonlinear. And you seem to be in a wave. You're going to come out of it and feel better. It is no easy task to weather these symptoms while trying to be a mama and show up for your family. Try to get a break. Pushing is ok to a point but rest is part of all healing.

 

Peace2

[[be...]]

Hi buddies,

I had to take my son to his Dr for a check up and make sure he's all healed since surgery, I had anxiety all morning as I despise going to any Dr appt... I survived and felt fine once I was out of the office. Tonight we have dinner plans with friends and I'm already dreading it. I just hate the fact that I don't enjoy anything, everything I do is me pushing through and just getting through it, but I don't find any joy in it. My POTS sx are in full effect and I just feel so sick today, just want to lay down. Do you guys have a hard time even being able to tell if your better? When I'm in a wave like now, I can't see any healing, which I know isn't true. Does anyone else feel like that?

 

Green-- happy month 20! I felt a lot better in that month

Drew-- hope your feeling better!

 

Jenny, I can so relate. I just got back from the Mall a little bit ago and it was a bust. I was so tired of waiting out this wave I'm in..I needed to feel some joy or take pleasure in something ..but I couldn't.

When my brain is seized up from a wave..all good feelings are out the door...stuck with all the ugly thoughts of only a wave will bring. When I'm over the wave and having better days I can smile, laugh, and feel pleasure. Sometimes we really can't tell the difference between a wave and having a bad day..I think this is healing because the waves are less intense.

Keep reminding yourself of your trip to Texas and how good you felt when you got back...this is what I have to do...it really helps.

I don't like going to the docs either..to many painful memories.

 

Dinner with the friends..hmm..you never know..you might enjoy the distraction..if not ..claim a headache and bow out early.

 

Hope this passes soon for you.

[[dr...]]

Hi buddies,

I had to take my son to his Dr for a check up and make sure he's all healed since surgery, I had anxiety all morning as I despise going to any Dr appt... I survived and felt fine once I was out of the office. Tonight we have dinner plans with friends and I'm already dreading it. I just hate the fact that I don't enjoy anything, everything I do is me pushing through and just getting through it, but I don't find any joy in it. My POTS sx are in full effect and I just feel so sick today, just want to lay down. Do you guys have a hard time even being able to tell if your better? When I'm in a wave like now, I can't see any healing, which I know isn't true. Does anyone else feel like that?

 

Green-- happy month 20! I felt a lot better in that month

Drew-- hope your feeling better!

 

Jenny-that's the nature of this process.  Our thinking gets affected(effected?) and when in a wave we feel hopeless.  I am fighting that feeling with everything I have right now.

 

Yes...I push through every event and I hardly ever enjoy anything.  This too is very common.  All teh successs stories say how they now enjoy activities instead of surviving them 

 

I am no longer in panic but it  can visit at any time.  On the edge but in full surrender mode. 

 

Yesterday was my day of retreat and today is my day to get some confidence back while the beast is breathing fire on my ass.

[[be...]]

it passed...surrnedered and waited for it to pass....one of those days.

 

I can leave work if I want but I refuse to leave while under duress of a panic.  I don't want my body/mind thinking I can just flee during apanic attack.  I plan on trying to make today a moral victory if nothing else.

 

Wow drew, you have really been up and down today. Sooo..you can't flee during a panic attack..that's self control right there buddy...and I would have to say healing.

[[be...]]

I'm just wondering....I'm I the only one who has symptoms 24/7even before jumping off of benzo?

Ive been blessed with teeth,jaw,face......issues.....along with a terrible taste all 24/7 .....I'm beginning to wonder if it's something else other than benzo withdrawal

All you seem to have made ths journey .....but haven't noticed a lot with ongoing ...never leaving symptoms....sorry but I'm at my wits end.....so tired....seen so many doctors...about nerves in mouth...had root canal extraction....three surgeries...that area is so tight....nerves in teeth,jaw, and face is terrible....due to this it causes stress...was diagnoised last week with Syogrens Disease....

But at least my hip feels better today....

But my mouth...and face.....is a mess of nerves....

If any of you have 24/7 symptoms before and after jumping from benzo.....i would love to hear..

TM

 

I was diagnosed with tmj early on. I had a lot of mouth and teeth pain. My gums were so swollen and the teeth were sensitive. In acute it felt like my teeth were moving and rotating.

So glad your hip pain is better.

Yes, the benzo withdrawal can disrupt the nerves in your mouth causing all sorts of sensations and pain..to downright weirdness. For months it felt like my jaws were pulling down..wasn't painful..just odd.

All of the mouth symptoms are better and almost gone except for the burning tounge..it is better but still with me.

Never underestimate the power of a benzo. Hope time passing helps you.

[[Se...]]

We're travelling on a one-week vacation this Friday.  Driving.  Staying at in-laws'  (they have an RV on-site that we'll use, thank heavens, so we'll have our privacy.)    Trying to not get too worked up about it, but I'm beginning to feel pangs of anxiety.  So much to get ready/prepared (laundry, etc.)  I used to like these vacations.  I missed out last year because I was in acute and bedridden... could barely walk.  I have to go, for the kids.  They're so looking forward to it, and hanging with their cousins.

[[Te...]]

Thanks Buddies for the replies...

 

Beulah .....I swear my teeth feel like they dance in my mouth....the extracted tooth site feels like the tooth is still there.....it effects my face and throat everything is sooooo tight...

Can I ask when did the teeth thing stop....was it gradual.....?

 

Serenity.....have a great safe trip.....you deserve it......

 

Hugs!TM

[[dr...]]

Hey all...I'm home now but just having terrible thoughts that I'm going to end up insane  My brain feels so weird right now.  I'm pretty scared. 

 

I know it's the wave doing this to me and I just have to wait it out but this wave is so intense. 

[[mr...]]

Hey all...I'm home now but just having terrible thoughts that I'm going to end up insane  My brain feels so weird right now.  I'm pretty scared. 

 

I know it's the wave doing this to me and I just have to wait it out but this wave is so intense.

 

Wait for that awesome baseline raise, drew! Its going to be a great one!

 

Any plans this evening?

 

Mrs.

[[dr...]]

Mrs-I'm holding on for dear life.  I'm in a bad way.  My dad is telling me to go on an an AD. 

[[be...]]

We're travelling on a one-week vacation this Friday.  Driving.  Staying at in-laws'  (they have an RV on-site that we'll use, thank heavens, so we'll have our privacy.)    Trying to not get too worked up about it, but I'm beginning to feel pangs of anxiety.  So much to get ready/prepared (laundry, etc.)  I used to like these vacations.  I missed out last year because I was in acute and bedridden... could barely walk.  I have to go, for the kids.  They're so looking forward to it, and hanging with their cousins.

 

Serenity- It might be a little rocky for you but it might also be fun for you to get away for a bit.

Like Jenny, she went to Texas on a family trip expecting to feel bad and actually had fun.

Even if your heart isn't into it you will have some nice memories with the kids. We mom's do a lot for our kids..always putting them first.

I would ask for help with the packing and laundry.

We do what we can do.

[[be...]]

Thanks Buddies for the replies...

 

Beulah .....I swear my teeth feel like they dance in my mouth....the extracted tooth site feels like the tooth is still there.....it effects my face and throat everything is sooooo tight...

Can I ask when did the teeth thing stop....was it gradual.....?

 

Serenity.....have a great safe trip.....you deserve it......

 

Hugs!TM

 

Yes, the teeth stuff was very gradual in leaving.  The last of it left this past winter...so I was right around a year and a half off at the time it left. Every morning when I would gargle it hurt my jaws and then one morning I noticed it didn't hurt anymore. Same with my teeth..it didn't hurt when I brushed.

All of this is so slow in healing. It also helped me to use a child's toothbrush...softer and smaller to get around in the mouth without irritation to the sensitive gums.

 

I would say give this more time and I'm sure you'll see results.

[[Co...]]

Beulah and Jenny.....so sorry you are enduring waves right now. I could cry for both of you. You have both been traveling long and far with this. It is so devasting to have a string of windows or several intermittent days and then get pulled back into the wave. I am thinking of both of you. I think it's temporary for you... you are both so far out with some really goid stretches just recently. ....So sorry....Jenny , I rarely visit any other threads because I get scared too. ...Beulah, your advice to not not let my stomach go hungry was spot on. It has been hard because when my upper belly hurts and I don't have an appetite I really don't want to eat....but , because of your advice I have been eating something every 2 hours and it is helping to keep the pain down....thank you..

.....Wishing both of you better days tomorrow.. coop

[[Co...]]

Nova....We must be making progress ...I have been noticing the same pattern as you ....good day/bad day.  So glad to hear that you are out rambling in the early early morning.

....carry on friend.....coop

[[Co...]]

Drew... you are some kind of warrior. You have huge respect from me. It occurs to me that you are only slightly behind where Green and I were when we got so slammed we couldn't function. I am pretty sure we were both somewhere around 16 months. I had been doing really good for awhile and had just had a 5 day stretch of windows....and then bam!.  I felt like I was in acute again just getting slammed and slammed before I could not even catch my breath before I got slammed again . ...My baseline got better after I survived that. ...I am betting that yours will too.

. ..I know the terrible freaky scary thoughts that benzo is screaming through your brain.....non-stop, I know... but you are right it's all w/d.  I am so sorry that this wave has been so wicked ....thinking of you Drew.... coop

 

[[dr...]]

Thx to all for the emergency support.    The thoughts passed.  They tricked me.  I let my guard down and whamo!  I'm completely drained right now.  I'm going to take a warm jacuzzi bath. Second of the day. Dries out my skin but it's a great distraction.

[[Co...]]

Green!!!....HAPPY HAPPY MONTH 20....boy , it's been a long tough travel....but here we are getting better one day at a time. ....You are so close. ...How is the fatigue? ....I think you said you were able to leave the couch yesterday.  I remember this winter when all of our couches had permanent butt indents ....We are moving forward....I honestly never thought I would make it to month 20...foolishly I didn't think I would have to....imagine......coop

[[Co...]]

Hi buddies....just a check in....I seem to be following Sky and Nova's pattern of one good day/on bad day or some loose variation of that. ....Still wrangling with the reflux and health fear but it is less intense. ...I have to go Friday for the followup on the reflux on friday and am beginning to dread it and getting flashes of that fear of the anxiety. I am reminding myself that I don't have to do anything that I don't want to and I can take time to decide to think about the next steps....if there is talk of next steps like scopes and scans. The decision is mine....and I can ask for alternatives like a ct without contrast ...an open mri.  more time to let things heal and re-assessment in a few more weeks.  And I am reminding myself that I am anticipating more testing when that hasn't even been suggested yet.  ( my run away health fear).  Having said all of that, my health fear is only moderate ...on my "off" day...not healed like where I want to be....but heal-ING.  I will take it. 

......Wishing everyone a better day tomorrow and decent rest tonight.... Drew.  Extra wishes to you for rest tonight......coop

[[No...]]

Drew ... bless those distractions ... I have been floating in and out all day ... gets a little loud ... I ignore it or rant at it ... then it passes ...

 

You are doing well ... standing your ground ... bobbing and weaving sometimes ... and soaking sometimes ... whatever ... 

[[No...]]

Beulah ... I have the same issue with "connection" all too often these days ... I want to, and the juice just isn't there most of the time ...

 

We are getting there ... another day in paradise ...