12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Coop!

The urgent care doctor said reflux and wants me to try malox. I declined.  He also told me to follow up with my primary doctor tomorrow. Anything natural help anyone's reflux?

 

Is reflux a benzo thing?

 

Peace2

 

....Oh Peace.  ..really sorry.  It's not fun, but it can be managed. Beulah has helped me out alot and there is a buddie on the 'stomach healing' thread who is so informed and helpful. Her name is Benniejets. Read her last few posts....a ton of information. ...I also found a bunch of info and reflux safe foods/recipes on Pintrest. I am glad your doctor did not try to get you on a ppi.. you have to wean off of those....although some buddies,have taken them without problems and say they helped. I refused them as a last ditch only solution. ....The Mylanta ( I thought that was off the market)  should be ok for short term ....Having said that, Milk of Mag says not to use more than 7 days in a row. My doc told me I could take Gaviscon ( similar to Mylanta , Milk of Mag) 3x daily until my follow up....4 weeks. By the third week it was making me sick.. ( headache and wicked diarrhea). I am feeling better off of it.

.....This is what is helping me.....mild smoothies ( yogurt...full enzyme,) banana, apple. applesauce, cocanut milk... drink no more than 1/2- 3/4 c. ...plain toast ....mashed potatoes, plain white chicken, applesauce...I also think adding 2 tsp Braggs apple cider vinegar in a cup of warm water 2x a day has been helpful The thing that seems to help alot is chewing gum. It stimulates saliva which dilutes the acid. Try to avoid the mint flavored gums. There is a special gum called mastigate gum just for stimulating the flow of saliva....plus all the things you pmed to me...the posture etc...hunch ing makes it worse. Increasing your water intake but not more than a cup at a time. Hot packs to the upper belly, hot Epsome salts soaks. ..It will take time . I am just today having a little less difficulty. Beulah had a good point....don't let yourself get too hungry as that makes it worse. She says small easy food each 2 hours and that is working for me. I will say I got to a place where I was afraid to eat...and when I did I got a little panic, but it passed quickly that continued for a little while. ...I am going for a followup on Friday to r/o hiatal hernia. If you don't get better in a couple of weeks with reflux care I would see your doctor again . Reflux itself is manageable but if it doesn't improve ( although it is a recurring condition) or gets worse it can create other problems....it's not the simple little upset belly that we tend to think of it as. If you can help it DO NOT Google it. I found several short little not scary articles about it on Pintrest as well as some yoga stretches to help. ...

...This is no fun  I am sorry that you got hit with it. I tend to think mine started with the 2 antibiotics that I was on for misdiagnosed kidney infection. I am 20 months out so I question that it is all about w/d. .although it could be. Don't be surprised if you feel discomfort /pain in your back, ribs, throat ...it can make you feel really bad until you get it backed down from the acute phase. ....I think there is a natural health remedy on the market in places like Mother's Cupboard but I can't remember the name of it I will try to look it up for you. ...I would maybe try the Mylanta for a few days  I think it is only magnesium and something else....but if you get some relief without using it so much the better....Good luck MightyGirl...love to you....coop.....pm me any time....

[[Co...]]

Peace, I forgot to mention to you that it can also cause you to have a dry infrequent cough.. from esophogitis.  Everything from your mouth to your entire gut can get inflammed..A few things can get it started...the muscle of the stomach that closes off to prevent gastric fluids from flowing back into the stomach can become loose, an inflammatory process...viral infection....who knows....coop

[[mr...]]

[move]HAPPY 8 MONTHS MRS.!

[/move]

 

Aww, thanks Green!! :smitten:

 

Mrs.

[[Sk...]]

 

Serenity, so sorry, what an AWFUL experience.

 

There is no way you could have predicted what happened today. Just be very kind on yourself today, for the rest of the day.

 

I am worried this might revv up your symptoms on top of everything else.

 

Things will get better, just maybe can you avoid driving for a while ?

 

And I know this sounds crazy, but I alwasy go around with a block note at all times. A real paper note book in which I take note of any info I might need for future reference with drawings and markers to highlight priorities. It has helped so much, no matter how neurotic it appears from the outside. My memory and cognitive abilities are that bad, I really can't trust myself without is. Do you think it might help you ?

 

You could just use it for things like your daughters phone calls.

 

Hang in there, you are doing the best you can, given the circumstances, and that is a lot. 

 

Thank you, Sky.  I'm taking it easy, yes.  Made hubby take daughter to her horse riding tonight.  I couldn't do it.  He wasn't happy about it, but too bad.  I'm not the only parent in this family.

 

Your notebook idea is great.  Actually, I keep one on the kitchen counter and refer to it daily, as well as a big wall calendar that I mark up with everything.  Like you, I'd not remember most things without these items.  They are essential. 

 

So many of us have compromised memory & cognition.  Does it ever improve, I wonder?

 

It's a very crippling symptom, you can't function with it, no amount of " pushing " is going to do the trick. The brain is hurt as much as if it had been pounded with a bar, or something.

 

It improves, very gradually and it's really hard to notice it.

 

At 20 months out, I still get awfullly dangerous moments. But there is improvement every day.

 

I have had to give up doing many many things, could not even think of driving, don't know how you do it. I still have to avoid handling money and explanations at offices. Makes me feel like a child. It really increases the sense of being sick, this not being self sufficient.

 

It's not very talked about on the forum, don't know why.

[[Ko...]]

GreenIce,

 

I tried the tryptophan for 3 nights. First night it put me to sleep, but only for 2 hrs, then I was up the rest of the night. Second night it did nothing, didn't even feel it.  3rd night again no effect.  Last night I took a  2 Unisom. I felt a little sleepy, then after 2 hrs I became very agitated. So, can't take Unisom either. Today I slept almost all day from 9 to 5. Just up long enough to walk my little doggy once. I had to force myself to wake up at 5, again to feed my dog.  I even went back to sleep 6 to 7.

I guess my body was trying to make up for all the loss sleep the last few days. My brain is just really screwed up. Can't sleep at night, but I sleep pretty well in the day time.

 

I trying just Melitonin to see if it helps. Tonight I'm up again, but expected it since I slept all day.

 

Sounds like you're sleeping, but it doesn't feel restful. Is that because of the Unisom? At least the unisome works for you. I hope when we're healed our sleeping will go back to normal. Although, my sleep wasn't good before benzo said, so it may not. 

 

Thanks for your comments on the age and healing thing. I appreciate your thoughts.

[[Te...]]

Good morning everyone....knocking at your doors....for some suggestions

This past month been experiencing right hip and back pain.....even throbs in upper thigh....woke up this morning at 4:00 with squeezing right hip pain....it hurts to walk or lay down....it's hard to find a comfortable position....tried two baths...takes some of the worst pain away for a little bit....

Does anyone else have problems with hip....I had X-ray in March....pcp thought it was my IT band

But the pain has come back  .....bad....

I wish I could go back and do a slow taper....I try not to dwell on this but  I worry Ive done terrible damage with only a 7 week taper....ugh

Hugs TM

[[Sk...]]

Hiya gang,

 

I am 8 months free from benzos today ~ whoa!  I almost missed it, actually!  

 

I find myself still healing (like many of us!).  The "fear" continues to peel away, losing frequency and intensity more and more as time passes, in the usual ebb-and-flow pattern we experience.  The remaining others (anxiety, mild tachycardia, mild dp/dr, cog-fog, dizziness, mild infrequent headaches, etc) also continue this "peeling away" pattern as well. I find that I no longer experience "windows" and "waves", but more of a general pattern of gradually (slowly?) getting better and better as more time passes.  I think that this lack of window/wave experience can create a deceptive impression that "this is as good as it gets" or may tempt to ask the question "is this just me" or "is this as good as it gets". But we should not be fooled by this deception ~ it is only the perception we experience from the slow unfolding and ebb/flow patterns of a healing brain. 

 

The "fears" I developed in withdrawal continue to waver and diminish ~ partly from diligently working on facing them, and partly due to the passage of time and more healing occurring.  Both elements (me working on things, and me "not" working on things I don't control) do seem to make a difference, for me personally.  I do still find myself with a response to things my body reads as "stimuli" ~ both the 'good' and 'non-good' kinds of stimuli.  I do experience what appears as a random "intense" slap of symptoms from time to time over the past couple months, and I see where people use the term "acute" to describe it.  Intuitively, I know that it is not truly like acute at all, but that I merely have the perception of this type of intensity because of the stark contrast between my normal day-to-day medium and this brief "intense slap".  The "response" my body/mind has at times becoming more manageable all the time, and I find solace in controlling my response to the "response".  'Controlling my response to the response' means, to me, keeping focused on the positive, keeping faith in healing, and saying a collective "no thank you" to fear.  Overall, I am very grateful and amazed at how far I've come, and am looking forward to the remainder of healing manifesting in the next couple months.

 

I hope this helps display accurately how I am feeling today!  I do many things that I temporarily "delayed" doing while I was in the midst of taper and post-withdrawal, such as travel, hang with friends, work a part-time "fun" job outside of my full-time job, babysit, exercise longer, spend time in heat outside (summer months), and on and on!  Things truly do continue to get better and better, friends.  We are healing, everyday in every way!  Getting closer all the time (thank God)!!

 

Take care buddies, I hope this helps you a little to know where I'm at

 

Mrs.

 

Thanks for this accurate picture Mrs.

 

I really see myself in the " this is as good as it gets ", until now, I have not had any windows to show and remind me of the abyss there is between the healed me, and the sick me.

 

So, I just have to trust what others say about windows, and hope this is over, reasonably soon.

 

A little discouraging at times, I must say. 

[[Sk...]]

[move]HAPPY 8 MONTHS MRS.!

[/move]

 

Mrs, you are at month 8 ? Wow, congratulations ! Time really flies when you are having fun ! 

 

                                                        [glow=red,2,300]Happy 8 months, Mrs  ! May this be over for you soon. [/glow]

[[Sk...]]

Good morning everyone....knocking at your doors....for some suggestions

This past month been experiencing right hip and back pain.....even throbs in upper thigh....woke up this morning at 4:00 with squeezing right hip pain....it hurts to walk or lay down....it's hard to find a comfortable position....tried two baths...takes some of the worst pain away for a little bit....

Does anyone else have problems with hip....I had X-ray in March....pcp thought it was my IT band

But the pain has come back  .....bad....

I wish I could go back and do a slow taper....I try not to dwell on this but  I worry Ive done terrible damage with only a 7 week taper....ugh

Hugs TM

 

Texas mama, hope somebody can get back to you on this one.

 

I had back pain, very intense back pain. Then, suddenly it went away.

 

Hope you get some more practical suggestions.

 

It's benzo related, you have not done any more damage to yourself, than anyone else here who has taken benzos.

[[Se...]]

This morning I took out my frustration on my spouse.  I keep wanting to let him know all of this is physiologically real (even though it doesn't show on a brain scan) and not a mental illness I can solve via positive-thinking exercises, but he doesn't want to hear it anymore.  He thinks I should be well by now.  He gets angry and leaves the room whenever I mention my symptoms, then retreats to smoke his MJ (something he's done for years; it's his medication of choice.)  He says I need to stop obsessing and get more positive, but I'm tired of trying to bang into his head that it's the withdrawal that CAUSES these very symptoms and I have little control over them when I'm in a really bad way.  I hate to play stereotypes, but he's a guy, who didn't have a very compassionate upbringing, and I told him so this morning.  I felt better after tearing a strip off him.  Yes, it's hard for him... it's hard for any significant other to see his/her loved one in this sorry state, but I told him that he's going to have to do something about his own need for things to always be hunky-dory, because they aren't going to be for a long while yet.  He's acting as if nothing's wrong.  Denial?  Over the last couple months, the "D" word has surfaced in my mind, but I know it's mainly the anger & frustration I feel over my situation that is driving it, so I inhibit.

 

I feel better for getting that out.  Can anyone else relate?

[[Sk...]]

This morning I took out my frustration on my spouse.  I keep wanting to let him know all of this is physiologically real (even though it doesn't show on a brain scan) and not a mental illness I can solve via positive-thinking exercises, but he doesn't want to hear it anymore.  He thinks I should be well by now.  He gets angry and leaves the room whenever I mention my symptoms, then retreats to smoke his MJ (something he's done for years; it's his medication of choice.)  He says I need to stop obsessing and get more positive, but I'm tired of trying to bang into his head that it's the withdrawal that CAUSES these very symptoms and I have little control over them when I'm in a really bad way.  I hate to play stereotypes, but he's a guy, who didn't have a very compassionate upbringing, and I told him so this morning.  I felt better after tearing a strip off him.  Yes, it's hard for him... it's hard for any significant other to see his/her loved one in this sorry state, but I told him that he's going to have to do something about his own need for things to always be hunky-dory, because they aren't going to be for a long while yet.  He's acting as if nothing's wrong.  Denial?  Over the last couple months, the "D" word has surfaced in my mind, but I know it's mainly the anger & frustration I feel over my situation that is driving it, so I inhibit.

 

I feel better for getting that out.  Can anyone else relate?

 

Glad you vented, you really needed it, you' ll see, you will feel better.

 

I may have already asked you,  but have you showed him any literature ? This can be very confusing for people who are not informed.

 

Doctors too don't seem to be very informed about  wd and its consequences.

 

He may be just afraid of the whole idea. Maybe he just needs to be confronted with it, day in, day out, till it sinks in.

 

What happened with car, has to  be avoided in the future, your  safety and that of your daugher is at stake.

[[Fi...]]

Serenity--yes, I feel for you and relate.  This process is very hard on marriages.

[[Se...]]

Hi, sky.  Hope you're doing ok today.    Yes; I've forcibly shown him the cepuk videos, along with some other youtube videos of survivors (back in my acute days) and he seemed to grasp it then.  In the beginning, he was supportive.  As a rule, he doesn't like to read anything, so I thought the videos would be the best tool for him to understand this.  He won't watch them again.  He told me he's done with it and I need to move on.

 

That was nearly a year ago, and he seems to have forgotten.  Either that, or he feels I'm malingering.  Let me try and explain... He thinks most illnesses are due to people's mental states, and he has always had little compassion for people with illness, esp. things that can't be seen.  He is one of those, "suck it up/mind-over-matter" sorts.  He has never been seriously challenged with anxiety, depression or a debilitating illness.

 

Almost every day, I dream of getting my own place and although it'd be lonely, I'd be left alone to heal and just have my kids part of the time to do stuff with.  I've always wanted to be alone when sick; it's how I operate.  I need to retreat and lick my wounds until I'm well again.

 

As far as the driving, I've been driving since the 1st month off and I like to drive.  It's a good distraction and gets me out.  I think I'm a good driver; it's just that sometimes I get lost! 

[[be...]]

Good morning everyone....knocking at your doors....for some suggestions

This past month been experiencing right hip and back pain.....even throbs in upper thigh....woke up this morning at 4:00 with squeezing right hip pain....it hurts to walk or lay down....it's hard to find a comfortable position....tried two baths...takes some of the worst pain away for a little bit....

Does anyone else have problems with hip....I had X-ray in March....pcp thought it was my IT band

But the pain has come back  .....bad....

I wish I could go back and do a slow taper....I try not to dwell on this but  I worry Ive done terrible damage with only a 7 week taper....ugh

Hugs TM

 

Texas- I have had the awful hip pain for over a year now, it's in both of my hips. I was thinking I had arthritis or something else, went for an mri last year and it was negative.

It is getting better now that I'm a little further out.This is a withdrawal symptom that I've seen many complain out...it's so painful. In  the beginning when the hip pain started I couldn't lay on either of my sides to sleep and couldn't lay on my back because of the cosyxx pain..I felt screwd. My husband made me a tilt board that I slept on for three nights. After many epsom salt baths, Tylenol and Arnicare gel I was able to finally to sleep on my left hip.

The back pain also goes along with this...although I am lucky to not have much.

This physical has always been my worst withdrawal symptoms.

Do you also have the squeezing in the legs?

Yes, good you are doing the baths, it does seem to help..it loosens the tight joints. I took so many baths I looked like a dried up prune...now I have an endless supply of body cream and nowhere to store all of it.

It will get better..just like all of the other symptoms...we play the waiting game.

Here's to baths..baths.. and more baths.

[[Te...]]

Thank you Beulah and Sky.....for replying ....im hoping the pain will get better....thinking I might try Advil......today....it's hard to even drive....ugh

I never have woke to squeezing pain in hip....it felt like someone was really squeezing muscle.....yes I do get some squeezing in thigh but it's more of a bothersome pain I can handle....this hip thing is going down my leg.....this past month it's been coming and going...I do have some osteopenia .....but my vitamin d level is good...and when I talked to obgyn she said you don't feel bone lose...

 

Serenity....my husband..told me he doesn't want me to discuss my pains with him....he is over it.....he feels I'm making up the pain...lol

 

Wishing everyone healing hugs! TM

[[dr...]]

Hi all...the mental symptoms abated and I'm left w the physical right now.  Uncomfortable but a worlds better than yesterday.  Still have lots of heart pals, adrenaline surges, and now a bad tummy.  All those surges.  It's crazy how this process works. 

 

I could have worked today but I didn't.  Just going to do nothing on couch.  I really feel apathetic right now. It feels like it's an effort to move and even watch tv!  I just lie here at times.  I've had a box of toilet paper I haven't unpacked for four days.    I want myself back.

[[No...]]

Hi Folks ... things are a little quieter for me today ... had a good walk ... too warm again this afternoon to go out so back to hanging out with the ac ...

 

[[No...]]

Serenity ... between a rock and a hard place ... relationship issues during recovery ...

 

All I can add it that we need to look after ourselves as best we can during this process ... and as much as we can, we put everything else on the back burner for now ...

 

Hoping things settle down for you so that you can get what you need right now ... 

[[No...]]

Drew ... isn't there a mindfulness practice for unpacking the toilet paper box? ... 

 

Good to hear things are a bit better today for you ... 

[[Co...]]

For those who have family members who " don't want to hear it"..  We do. ...Get on here for as much support as you need. Support is essential to healing. I have worn out everyone on this thread with all of my wailing, knashing of teeth, crying, panicking, long winded stories, etc etc. I have never been judged or had a negative response....always support beyond the definition of support. Nova stayed up all night with me a couple of times through panic. Green pmed me for days in a row through months 16-18....Our family members suffer the w/d too....they have lost the person they knew.  Having said that, lack of compassion and rejection hurt. I am in a twisted way 'fortunate' that I am divorced and my children are grown so I live alone and nobody is too burdened with all of this. My daughter is huge support and understands a lot, but I try not to be  ' sickie' when she is with me.. I try to do fun things with her when I can...

.....I try to respond to posts and support where I can. Lately I have been spotty with replies as my daughter is getting married in 2 weeks and this reflux thing has me a little discouraged..  This is an amazing group of buddies there is always support, encouragement, hope, humor and wisdom here for the asking. When some are down or taking a break others man the nickel advice stand. ....Please don't suffer in isolation.... .coop

[[Co...]]

Nova, SO happy to hear that your day is looking better.  Yes, sit with the ac....and make us a menu please.. love to you dear friend.....coop

[[Co...]]

Drew....finally!....your tsunami wave is spitting you out on the couch and rolling back out to the sea of Dante...It is no wonder at all that you don't have the energy to watch tv. Stay on the couch.. heal.. .just heal. Our bad waves like the one you just came through always remind me of 'Where The Wild Things Are'... for days and days he sailed through the land of the wild things.  In reality for Max it was only a night..  but I always feel like my 2/3 day waves have been going on for weeks. But you really have had an intense long wave.  Don't get off the couch....The toilet paper box....there must be an app for that..  Take care Drew...  .coop

[[No...]]

Coop ... today's dinner ...

 

Stir fried marinated pork with broccoli and red peppers ...

 

Spaghetti frittata ...

 

Salad ...

 

Dine in only ... no take outs ... 

[[dr...]]

Yes coop-I was thinking me and Beulah can share couch time. I think that's who is living on it this week.  My energy has been sucked out of me.  I really hope this is the end of the wave.  You know the feeling...shell shocked and a bit wary if it's really breaking.  I have a fear of a visual aura arriving today but I'm really trying not to because if it shows it'll show.  Nothing I can do about it. 

 

Going back to snooze.

 

TP not on my to do list.  I may get a massage but I don't think I even have the energy to leave the couch.  Nope....taking all your advice. 

 

Glad to see some improvement for nova and others.

 

Serenity-I have the exhausted spouse syndrome too. 

[[Se...]]

Thanks, all, for the support.    This place gives me hope for humanity.  Truly.    Yes, coop, I will come here when things get so bad that I feel like screaming.  It is the one place where we can be heard and reassured that we are not insane, but ill from the crappy effects of a commonly prescribed drug.  To be heard and reassured... those are the very things that are needed in great measure order to heal from this.

 

I'm proud of myself that I made it downstairs to kitchen and fully cleaned it.  It was getting kind of gross.  The kids had been messing around in there yesterday & they aren't the best for cleaning up after themselves.  There were some houseflies buzzing around.  I killed them.  Lots of fruit flies, too.  Changed the mixture in the home-made fly trap and killed a few of those buggers as well.  Went outside to empty organics into composter, only to find something tore the sliding door off the composter and uprooted the whole thing from its anchor-pegs.  Rotting food scraps thrown around everywhere.  Never a dull moment!  Must have happened last night.  Raccoon, probably.  I did hear something growling about outside last night.

 

It's a bit cooler today, with a nice breeze that's wafting in off the water.  A nice change from yesterday's heat & humidity.

 

Lots of good healing to all.