12-18 month support

[[be...]]

Morning  all,

 

Welcome TABI14, Join us on our recovery ride to healing.

 

 

I was on here lurking and reading the posts yesterday.. but was unable to post because of the horrible head pressure I've had for two days. I woke up this morning and it's all gone. I.have a little head pressure almost everyday but this was over the top.The nausea that came with it left me not eating anything but cold watermelon and crackers.

 

I will catch up with your posts later in the day.

 

Have the best day you can.

 

 

That was me yesterday too Beulah, I did post but I nearly didn’t as couldn’t think because of the head pressure. Not there today just a  horrible headache

[[be...]]

Morning  all,

 

Welcome TABI14, Join us on our recovery ride to healing.

 

 

I was on here lurking and reading the posts yesterday.. but was unable to post because of the horrible head pressure I've had for two days. I woke up this morning and it's all gone. I.have a little head pressure almost everyday but this was over the top.The nausea that came with it left me not eating anything but cold watermelon and crackers.

 

I will catch up with your posts later in the day.

 

Have the best day you can.

 

 

That was me yesterday too Beulah, I did post but I nearly didn’t as couldn’t think because of the head pressure. Not there today just a  horrible headache

 

 

Yep Marj, evidently I need to not post today either, I just did a blank post.

The head pressure left but returned. I feel like nothing I do or say makes any sense when my head is like this.

Hope your headache eases.

[[be...]]

Beulah....I am so sorry ...head pressure is so not fun....Glad to hear it is on its way out.  Damn...it just seems like we have put in our time now..  I sort of expect some low grade lingering sx, but not what some of us are still getting 18-24/25 months out..  I guess I need to borrow Nova's wrench and adjust the expectations that live in my head. I think there is a 'Whack-a-Mole' game going on 8n my head.  I just think things are going to be ok....and Whack!.  That thought gets pounded.... thinking of you Beulah....hope your day opens up to being much better.    Live to you.. .coop

 

Coop, thank you. I started to feel better and then got hit again. I hate when I can't get out of my head and soothe the health fears..it's the pits.

Yes, please ask Nova if you can borrow his wrench for my head also. I will barter cookies for a wrench.

 

Yeah, the stomach stuff is hitting a lot of people. My stomach has not been the same since I ate the hot dog fries and root beer, Excuse Me for Living. It felt very normal to eat that day.

 

I'm gonna whack me a mole before today is over with. Low and slow.

 

 

 

[[No...]]

This is a public service message from the BKTYM Society ...

 

Be Kind To Your Mole ... you never know when you may need a friend ...

 

And ... The International Society For Mole Lovers states in their preamble... moles have feelings too ...

 

Or ... in the words of Fred Flintstone ... Whack On ... 

[[dr...]]

Okay all...we have been having a rough go of it for a bit and while I have been wavy and not able to handle external stress at all today I just want to list a few things that I DON'T have or is greatly reduced...let's get some perspective on how well we are doing   Please make your own list if so inclined.

 

-I have had some minor jerks, twitches, and nerve pain today...it is 10x less than even six months ago..forgot about them

-migraines maybe every 6 weeks instead of weekly...

head pressure, boatiness, sinus crap-much less intense and less often

-DR...so much better.  I am clear headed unless in a wave

-muscle pain...10x better

-limb heaviness-gone

-anxiety-less but still very bothersome but hardly existent in safe areas.  I used to get it all the time. 

-Panic-maybe 95% less unless in  a wave(big one)  

-acceptance of situation-much better but still a struggle

-neck and shoulder pain so much less

-sleep-times where is much better and times that it's not

-facial numbness and scalp sensations...much less

-racing heart-90% less

 

I am sure I am forgetting a bunch and I really want to try and focus on what's better instead of spending my time brooding over what I am suffering with.  My job is to keep letting time pass and remember this is TEMPORARY.  I know this because everyone before us felt exactly like us and we are not so special as our friend Life has said. 

 

That is all

[[be...]]

This is a Public Service Announcement- Today is WAMD...but only if you're in benzo withdrawal.

WAMD is not to be considered cruelty to any animals. We reserve this day for people suffering side affects of discontinuing dangerous drugs known as benzodiazepines.

Should you feel the need to whack a mole..please use caution..they are very quick and may startle you with their rapid movement.

Should you feel the need to whack whack whack...please only using a fly swatter or a newspaper, depending on your mood.

 

As Fred Flintstone would say..yabba dabba doo.

 

[[dr...]]

If you do whack a mole a bit too much please hand it off to Marj who can pile it on her neighbor

[[No...]]

Holy mole-ly ...

 

I think we have all gone whackers ... 

[[Co...]]

Hi 12-18ers:

 

I've officially graduated to 19 months off the poison. In retrospect, I had significant healing occur in the 12-18 month time frame. Truly amazing that low dose short term benzo can result in protracted wd over that time frame. But I've entered my 19th month feeling great with only a trickle of residual sxs that could not even qualify as a "wave." Hoping I'm not jinxing myself only to get slammed moving forward, but truly, the healing has been happening and my best wishes for all of you here still waiting for sxs to lift.

 

A special shout out to Cooperten, who has been a truly compassionate trooper on the board. May your future be filled with joy and peace. It will be done. 

 

laser

 

....Hi Laser, I remember you from when I first came on 20 months ago. Your post gave me so much hope...I and several of us here today really needed to hear your fabulous progress. I am so happy for you.. Thank you so much for taking the time  to come on and encourage us. .....This is such an extrordinary group of buddies here. I have received so much support from my friends here. Several have sat through nights of panic and horror with me. They listen over and over . . 1,000 times over to the same complaints and fears, never have I been judged or felt any response other than support and care. I hope I have been half as compassionate as that that I have received here. I would have reinstated at month 6 if not for the support here.

......Looking forward to reading your success story in the coming months. You just sound wonderful....Wishing you all the happiness that comes with a healed life....coop

[[No...]]

Laser ... thank you for dropping by and letting us know how you are doing ... such encouragement is always helpful ...

 

Be Well ...

[[Co...]]

Beulah.  You said it.  "can't get out of my head"...." health fears ".  We can share the wrench and munch the ' no reflux'  chocolate chip cookies together.. .I think Marj picked up a double batch... plenty to pass around in the rickety row boat. 

.....Boy there are a lot of us 'accepting' the process today.  It is a reassurance to me to hear that I am not alone in this reflux misery....I am again living on yogurt and mashed potatoes . I did put together a smoothie that is soothing.....1/2 cup full enzyme yogurt , 1/2 cup unsweetened cocanut milk, 1/2 banana, 1/2 apple.  1 tbsp almond butter... add more cocanut milk to desired consistency. This makes me feel satisfied ...holds my hunger and doesn't hurt my stomach.  The mashed potatoes and turkey or chicken is really satisfying too ...thanks so much for that reccommendation. ....I am in the fog today too....that yukky disconnected feeling.. .pass a cookie please..  Marj is wondering if your Tropical Healing Abbey is seeing buddies today.  Can we come and do low and slow with your soothing company ....

  ....Better days are right behind this wave Beulah. I am noticing that our waves are becoming more short lived again.......thinking of you dear friend. ..coop

[[je...]]

Hi buddies,

My good streak came to an end yesterday... I woke up depressed, weak, nerve pain, and head/sinus pressure-- spent all day in bed. Today I'm not depressed, but still dealing with some nerve pain. More proof that I still have some healing to do even though I've made big strides. Haven't had a chance to catch up on posts, but I hope your all doing well. Jenny

[[Co...]]

If you do whack a mole a bit too much please hand it off to Marj who can pile it on her neighbor

 

.....Drew....lol....too funny.  .Thank you for the reminder to consider the sx that have dropped off or are much less intense . Almost all of mine are much better.  The reflux thing continues to drive my health fears ....to the point of mini panics. The lingering infrequent d/r, cog fog, dizziness, extreme agoraphobia, etc are very manageable now. The bizarre intrusive existential morbid thoughts are almost 100% gone. The anxiety and claustrophobic feeling when talking to someone is almost entirely gone. Depression is very infrequent. ....Of course all bets are off in a wave, but now my waves are almost exclusively health fear and the anxiety /panic that goes with it.  But that doesn't make the waves any easier.  .just more laser focused on screaming health fear.  ...Drew, I am so glad for you that your migraines have improved so much.  One day at a time.  Onward we go.  .coop

[[Co...]]

Hi buddies,

My good streak came to an end yesterday... I woke up depressed, weak, nerve pain, and head/sinus pressure-- spent all day in bed. Today I'm not depressed, but still dealing with some nerve pain. More proof that I still have some healing to do even though I've made big strides. Haven't had a chance to catch up on posts, but I hope your all doing well. Jenny

 

.....Oh, Jenny..  so sorry to hear this.  This process is so cruel. Very happy that the depression did not come back today. ...I think this is a momentary blip on your healing ....your improvements have been dramatic and reliable ...it's all going to come back. There are a few of us in bed today.  Passing the chocolate chip cookies over to you.  coop

[[be...]]

Beulah.  You said it.  "can't get out of my head"...." health fears ".  We can share the wrench and munch the ' no reflux'  chocolate chip cookies together.. .I think Marj picked up a double batch... plenty to pass around in the rickety row boat. 

.....Boy there are a lot of us 'accepting' the process today.  It is a reassurance to me to hear that I am not alone in this reflux misery....I am again living on yogurt and mashed potatoes . I did put together a smoothie that is soothing.....1/2 cup full enzyme yogurt , 1/2 cup unsweetened cocanut milk, 1/2 banana, 1/2 apple.  1 tbsp almond butter... add more cocanut milk to desired consistency. This makes me feel satisfied ...holds my hunger and doesn't hurt my stomach.  The mashed potatoes and turkey or chicken is really satisfying too ...thanks so much for that reccommendation. ....I am in the fog today too....that yukky disconnected feeling.. .pass a cookie please..  Marj is wondering if your Tropical Healing Abbey is seeing buddies today.  Can we come and do low and slow with your soothing company ....

  ....Better days are right behind this wave Beulah. I am noticing that our waves are becoming more short lived again.......thinking of you dear friend. ..coop

 

Coop, you are definitely not alone in the reflux. I'm also being slammed with the health fears today.

Everything is hitting me like lightning..now take this and this..whew!!

The smoothies sound good, thinking I'm gonna have to go back to them for a while, eating was good while it lasted.

Sure, Mari can hop on over to Abbey, we can all pass around those healing chocolate chip cookies and make smoothies. And maybe whack a mole.

This will all pass..for all of us. Healing is happy.

[[be...]]

Hi buddies,

My good streak came to an end yesterday... I woke up depressed, weak, nerve pain, and head/sinus pressure-- spent all day in bed. Today I'm not depressed, but still dealing with some nerve pain. More proof that I still have some healing to do even though I've made big strides. Haven't had a chance to catch up on posts, but I hope your all doing well. Jenny

 

Ahh Jenny, I am sorry to read this. You have to know this is only temporary. Yes, you have made big strides and you have the proof that a healed life is waiting for you.

 

I'm sure it's very discouraging to have so many good weeks and be slammed again. But you were blessed with healing for your sons surgery and remember how good you felt.

This will all come back..just a little bump in the recovery road.

Hugs.

[[Co...]]

Beulah, you are such a comfort and encouragement.. So sorry you are back to the reflux food too.  So glad you had that day of hot dogs and rootbeer..  If you want to vent more of health fears pm me....I am at a place with health fear that I either can not get more scared than I already am..  or I am just accepting it as part of this mean process. In the last week or 10 days I have had some nice sunbreaks from it...just waiting for that to come back.  Does anything soothe your health fear?  ...hope it goes away for both of us.  coop

[[be...]]

If you do whack a mole a bit too much please hand it off to Marj who can pile it on her neighbor

 

You betcha!!!!

[[be...]]

Holy mole-ly ...

 

I think we have all gone whackers ... 

 

 

Yeah, we went whackers months ago..this is healing at it's finest...whack on!!! 

[[be...]]

Beulah, you are such a comfort and encouragement.. So sorry you are back to the reflux food too.  So glad you had that day of hot dogs and rootbeer..  If you want to vent more of health fears pm me....I am at a place with health fear that I either can not get more scared than I already am..  or I am just accepting it as part of this mean process. In the last week or 10 days I have had some nice sunbreaks from it...just waiting for that to come back.  Does anything soothe your health fear?  ...hope it goes away for both of us.  coop

 

Coop, the only things that soothe my health fears is distraction. I was in the grocery store earlier today with my husband and my stomach started hurting pretty bad out of the blue. We weren't finished shopping yet and I told him we have to leave immediately..the freak out pain. On the drive home my brain went nuts with the thoughts..took forever to calm it down.

I try not to leave the house when I'm having a bad day but I thought the distraction might help...boy did that backfire.

I think my body is trying to tell me to slow down..I don't listen very well. I just get so impatient sitting around all the time. It's summertime and again I'm stuck indoors .

 

I would be grateful to be stuck indoors if I felt like doing something, cooking, cleaning, crafting, anything.

 

Yes Coop, your sunbreaks will return shortly. We are all hitting a rough patch and we are growing impatient.

 

Let us eat mashed potatoes and smoothies.

[[Co...]]

Beulah.  I just love you. I know you are suffering with health fear, yet you are light hearted and supportive to every one...Yes, that out of the blue sharp upper belly pain is scary.How is your belly tonight?... Pass the potatoes....feel better Beulah. ...coop

[[dr...]]

Boo...I've had old symptoms yesterday and today....my conic jerks, lip twitches, mild nerve pain, and now head pain with hot and cold sensations. Feels like something is pushing my brain around. Also weird brain.  It's so funny how all these things just came back. They are a lot less intense but still yucky. 

 

For the first time at work I said I might need help in an apt tomorrow.  I told my jr partner that I should be good but won't know until tomorrow. Feels weird to ask but he was cool about it. 

 

I did try a little medical pot last night to see if it would help w twitches and stuff.  I only took one hit of a high CBD low THC strain. It didn't have the desired effect.  I felt really stoned and was self monitoring my body more than usual.    heart started to race and I wasn't relaxed.  Took about two hours to fade out but I'm a pro w dealing with feeling weird.

[[Co...]]

Drew,.  Really sorry to hear that. . As good as you have been doing , I bet this will pass quickly....Yep, I think any time we try adjuncts ,supplements etc it's a crap shoot..  Are you feeling any better?  I think you will be ok in your meeting tomorrow, but it's good that you have backup.  Everyone needs back up at work sometines...even the normals. 

......hope you get some sleep tonight.  coop

[[Sk...]]

Sky.  Yep..  noise and static and very strange conversations going on in my head ... 20 months.  I think we are entitled to a few tantrums as we get closer to the 2 year mark. ..

...  I can tell no difference in your writing..  it is always intelligent, cogent and very good to read. 

....I hope your sx lessens through the evening.  Wishing you good rest.  coop

 

Coop, you are so nice but what I mean, is that I have a hard time in the typing, it takes me forever and requires some editing and discourages me from writing.

 

I see a few buddies who have this, not so many, though, which really is a blessing.

[[Sk...]]

If you do whack a mole a bit too much please hand it off to Marj who can pile it on her neighbor

 

.....Drew....lol....too funny.  .Thank you for the reminder to consider the sx that have dropped off or are much less intense . Almost all of mine are much better.  The reflux thing continues to drive my health fears ....to the point of mini panics. The lingering infrequent d/r, cog fog, dizziness, extreme agoraphobia, etc are very manageable now. The bizarre intrusive existential morbid thoughts are almost 100% gone. The anxiety and claustrophobic feeling when talking to someone is almost entirely gone. Depression is very infrequent. ....Of course all bets are off in a wave, but now my waves are almost exclusively health fear and the anxiety /panic that goes with it.  But that doesn't make the waves any easier.  .just more laser focused on screaming health fear.  ...Drew, I am so glad for you that your migraines have improved so much.  One day at a time.  Onward we go.  .coop

 

One day at a time or one mole at a time ?