12-18 month support

[[dr...]]

Hi all... Just got home from a strenuous hike in the really hot sun. We went at 10am but the CA sun was already doing its thing.  I had enough water so I just hiked away this trail kicked my ass w panic last year but I had the bring it on attitude this time.  I felt "far away" from safety and it wasn't easy.  Sweating, racing heart, unsteady but no panic!  I felt it rev a few times but I just started doing some distraction...counting footsteps, counting from 100 backwards in 3's.  I made it the 4.5 mile hike in blazing sun with no panic   Right now having a caf coffee w a Greek lunch.  Eggplant, heirloom tomatoes, cheese, and cashews.  On my deck thinking of you guys and how we're going to get to the other side.

[[Fi...]]

Good for you, Drew!  I like your spirit.

[[wh...]]

Hello 12-18 month BB's,

 

I am posting here today to see if anyone developed an unsteady feeling at 14 months out? This is totally new for me, and has been going on for roughly 6 weeks or so. I had not had this previously. Yesterday it affected my night driving making it feel very unreal, DR is not new but driving became very difficult last night....

 

What I'm experiencing is a sort of feeling like I'm on tilt when walking, all the time. I also feel unsteady on my feet and my depth perception seems off now. I can get dizzy if I try to take in nature when walking.

 

Just very curious to know of any other's who developed this past the one year mark, I'm in disbelief that this can be WD somehow, this is affecting everything....

 

Thank you

 

 

[[wh...]]

I enjoyed reading this, hope you will too.

Jrod

 

 

Freedom Ring!

by Dr. Jennifer Leigh | Jul 4, 2015 | Freedom | 0 comments

 

“Now the Lord is the Spirit. And where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians 3:17)

 

At nights when I was exhausted, I could shrug off washing my face and brushing my teeth. But for 18 years, I couldn’t shrug off swallowing a little green pill. There would be hell to pay the next day if I didn’t take it. My doctor told me, when I was in my mid-thirties, that I had a “bad brain” and I needed to take that pill every day for the rest of my life. That pill held me captive. For a long time. Getting free from it was the most horrific experience I could ever have imagined. But I’m so glad I am free!

On this great day of celebrating freedom, I celebrate four years of not having to remember to swallow a benzodiazepine. (Yeah!)

I celebrate these things that the fight for freedom and freedom itself from a benzo gave me:

1. The return of my health (the drug kept me so unhealthy!)

2. Clarity of mind

3. Juicy creativity

4. No more drug-induced anxiety/depression/panic

5. A strong sense of self

6. Knowing my purpose in life

7. Fearlessness!

8. A deep spiritual connection with God

9. Curiosity and wonder

10. Gratitude

11. Playfulness

12. Peace and serenity

If you are marching towards freedom and the road feels long and hard, please keep going. It is worth the sweat and tears. If you are free and still suffering, wondering if and when you will feel normal again, please, hold on. Your brain will right itself soon enough and you’ll be as excited about your freedom as I am about mine.

Getting free from a benzo can be extraordinarily challenging. I know. Boy, do I know. However, it is worth every moment of suffering.

Life post benzos, for me, is beyond my wildest dreams. So, so, good!

Let freedom ring!

 

I loved this, thank you!

[[Co...]]

Who.  If it's a new sx it's goid to have it checked out. You might have an inner ear disturbance. It may be a w/d related sx, but having the reassurance of knowing that you are ok goes,a long way in tolerating and dealing with sx that are new or worrying you. ....Hope this lets up for you.  cooperten

[[Gr...]]

Hi Guys.

 

My last day in Atlanta and I crashed a little. Really tired. Made a three hour guided civil war tour. It was supposed to be walking but the guy did it from his car. Then I crapped out in the hotel room. Freezing, exhausted. Having dinner, feeling better, and ready to go home tomorrow morning.

Don't feel healed. But I'm very grateful I was able to pull this off. It gives me a little confidence and hope that healing will come

I'll try to catch up and see how everyone had been doing

[[dr...]]

Proud of you Green.  A crash is to be expected at this point. 

[[je...]]

Hi Guys.

 

My last day in Atlanta and I crashed a little. Really tired. Made a three hour guided civil war tour. It was supposed to be walking but the guy did it from his car. Then I crapped out in the hotel room. Freezing, exhausted. Having dinner, feeling better, and ready to go home tomorrow morning.

Don't feel healed. But I'm very grateful I was able to pull this off. It gives me a little confidence and hope that healing will come

I'll try to catch up and see how everyone had been doing

 

 

 

 

Green, I'm so proud of you too!!! The point is you did it, and a year ago it wouldn't even have been possible. You are healing girlie!

[[Co...]]

Green.  That is just so huge.  Anyone NOT recovering in w/d would be crashed after days of site seeing, biking , walking and sleeping away from home.  Look at you sx sister....you have come so far. ...Wishing you a safe trip home and some rest.  Also big sunbreaks.  ...doing a big happy dance for you.  coop

[[Co...]]

Scoot over Nova and Marj and Drew and anyone else who is just sick of keeping on keeping on.  I am jumping in to row that boat with you. After a nice row of days of having at least some sunbreaks and even widows .. it's " loose 2 turns and go back 3 spaces".  I kind of knew this morning that things could go backwards today. The anxiety circled all morning and rooted for the rest of the day. I haven't had depression for a long time ...until today.  It's lifting a little but the health fears and fear in general are moving in. A mini panic this morning and pretty down hill from there.  After having those better days I made some plans with my grandsons for next week.  Foolish me .. .thinking things were going to hold. 

    It's all been said before....it's the ups and brutal downs that follow that just make me ask myself why am I doing this? .  But what are the alternatives...I can't go back on ( and I wouldnt).  I don't trust any of the psych drugs enough to try ADs or adjunct meds ( I just know they would make things worse for me)  So ...nothing to do except get back in the boat and row across one more wave.  At least I have lovely boat mates.  Just another rant. # 5,465....

...Wishing everyone a restful night and sunbreaks tomorrow.  coop

[[TA...]]

Hello dear buddies,

I'm new on this thread. I have been following this thread since April 2015. I'm 17 months off benzo and 14 and half months off antidepressant. I like reading your posts, you are very compassionate buddies. I compare my symptoms with yours. Since April 2015 I've been in acute wave with many new physical stuff. I think I developed pots - knock the wood they gone now. Plenty of aches all over my body, benzo flu on and off, Gi issues - gone now. In the end of June this terrible wave stopped and I had 3 days window and feeling about 60% normal. When window was closed I back inbad mental wave with thoughts "I will never recover", all days I have tears in my eyes. It's like I forgot 3 days window. This process is so challenging, I'm so tired "keep swimming". Baylissa says everyone recovers but sometimes it's so hard to beleive what survivors say. I'm in a sick boat with you. Wish you plenty of healing. Ps sorry for my english I not english speaker.

[[No...]]

Found this over in Success Stories ... it is worth a read ... and a reflection ...

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=137540.msg1843143#new

[[No...]]

Hi Tab ... welcome ... that seems to be our theme song over here ... "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" ...

 

Do not be concerned about your English skills ... we are who we are ... we are where we are ...

 

Your posts are welcome here ... we give and we receive ... and each day we do the best we can ...

 

[[No...]]

Green ... what can I say ... you are an inspiration ... "see" you when you get home ... 

[[Si...]]

Yeah hope you had some fun in my hometown Green. I slept most of the last 11 days except last Wednesday. I was on vacation at my mom's place. I was hoping to sleep tonight, but it didn't end up happening. So I get to start back to work with no sleep. My usual 7 hour drive ended up being 9 yesterday. Didn't get home until 10pm. I have no idea how much of this is w/d and how much I can say is me now having a phobia created by benzo? I hate this insomnia so much. I don't know how I'll ever get over it.

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... well, the best I can say is "another day in the books" ... seems I am still in this "flu" stuff for a while yet ... got some sleep ... woke up during the night with this chill ... and the sweats ... yuk ...

 

Oh well ... can't get a refund ... so, as Beulah says ... another day in paradise ... 

[[Si...]]

Good Morning ... well, the best I can say is "another day in the books" ... seems I am still in this "flu" stuff for a while yet ... got some sleep ... woke up during the night with this chill ... and the sweats ... yuk ...

 

Oh well ... can't get a refund ... so, as Beulah says ... another day in paradise ... 

 

Sorry you have the flu stuff. I guess at least you got some sleep though right?

[[No...]]

Coop ... "loose 2 turns and go back 3 spaces" ... we need to get a more favourable set of dice if we are going to continue playing this version of benzo Parcheesi ... 

 

Glad you got a break, sorry to hear you are back in the soup ...

 

Monday is here on the East Coast ... another day closer ... 

[[No...]]

Siggy ... yep ... I got some "sleep" ... and about as restful as spending the night in a clothes dryer that someone keeps putting coins in ...

 

If I hear you correctly, you did enjoy your trip to Florida ... that is a good accomplishment ...

 

And ... perhaps don't be too worried about the "phobia" ... the benzo beast loves to leave these kind of "droppings" for us to step into and get our shoes dirty ... annoying for a while ... then they tend to vanish just like everything else ...

 

You are doing well ... and some days it sure doesn't feel like it ... 

[[No...]]

Tab ... I see you are in Poland ... I do not speak Polish, but Google tells me this is correct ... dzień dobry ... hope you are having a "good morning" ...

[[TA...]]

Good Morning buddies,

Nova  ... "Dzień dobry" and  thank you for invitation to this thread, it's nice you checked how to tell "good morning" in polish. My morning is not my best I'm dealing with headache and terrible dizziness. I'm feeling like I'm really just off the boat. Fortunately I see improvements because now I can write in English. Few months ago I could only read posts, writing and forming sentences was too much because of cog fog.

[[...]]

Hi All,

 

It appears that I am on a trip to the capital of benzoland today. Not a nice place to visit, I cannot recommend.

 

Nova, I get what you mean about sleep. I got some over the weekend but it was toxic, even my dreams are in a world of their own. Last night hardly got any.

 

Coop, sorry to hear you are suffering again. Hang on to those better days; I know how hard it is to do that as we naturally tend to sway with the negative side of things at the moment, so those better days get erased so easily.

 

Welcome to the newbies. Yes the dizziness, it’s a difficult one if it has only just started. I know I have had this on and off for a while and it has been with me this weekend. I went for a walk on Saturday and there was someone behind me, I was conscious that I was not walking in a straight line and that they would think I was drunk!! I do know dizziness is a symptom and also that benzos affect the ears too – mine pop a lot and sometimes feel blocked. I sometimes wonder if this is related to the soft tissue tension in my neck. It doesn’t hurt to get it checked out.

 

I made it to work after a sleepless night and some benzo belly. I’m shaky with a headache and my upper body muscles are really sore and painful, especially upper back and neck and anxiety is trying to get to the front. This is such a major arse ache. Just have to keep wearing the mask.  Going for a walk as it usually helps.

 

Does anyone fancy a trip to the Healing Island?

 

[[...]]

Good Morning buddies,

Nova  ... "Dzień dobry" and  thank you for invitation to this thread, it's nice you checked how to tell "good morning" in polish. My morning is not my best I'm dealing with headache and terrible dizziness. I'm feeling like I'm really just off the boat. Fortunately I see improvements because now I can write in English. Few months ago I could only read posts, writing and forming sentences was too much because of cog fog.

 

 

Welcome Tabit14

 

So good that you can recognize the positives ‘you can now write in English’. I have trouble with this sometimes and I am English. Mornings are not my best time either. I think this is fairly common for a lot. We are a similar timeframe, I am nearly 15 months. It is criminal that it takes this long.

 

[[No...]]

Marj ... there is a really good bakery in the Benzoland capital ... they make a fabulous chocolate chip cookie ... the Beast hasn't found this place yet so you should be able to enjoy one on your walk ...

 

And ... look around ... you are already on the Healing Island ... there are just a lot of noisy waves that distract us sometimes from realizing it ...

[[No...]]

Tab ... the dizziness / boatiness is often very uncomfortable and discouraging ... mine has pretty much cleared up, although it does make an appearance now and then ...

 

I remember when I used to go for a walk and the sidewalks looked tilted at an angle ... and the trees used to jump around and not stay rooted as they were supposed to ... and I often had to stop when someone passed because I felt I might fall into them ...

 

Good that you are noticing improvements ... that is encouraging ...