12-18 month support

[[Sk...]]

I’m so encouraged by you Jenny, you seem to have gone from feeling stuck to much better quite quickly. It doesn’t seem that long ago when you said you were too sick to post. And not getting freaked out dealing with your boy’s op. That is amazing, well done. 

 

I sort of feel stuck at the moment, I’m at work and feel like crying. The whole neighbour thing is feeding my negative thoughts at the moment, anxiety was awful earlier. There was another dead mole outside my backdoor this morning and realistically I know the cat will have brought it. It set me off again though, the paranoia, obsessive thoughts. Had a lunchtime walk which helped the anxiety, now I just feel low and muscles hurt. Sorry for moaning again, this is so hard.

 

I am so sorry you are going through this, Marj. Paranoia is A-W-F-U-L. I have it too, but it just amplifies small things in my very boring life. And I still find it horrible.

 

So, I really can't imagine what you are going through.  Moan away, now it's more important than ever, you know ?

 

Unfortunately, this is one of those things that only the buddies can get fully, we know how awful paranoia is. And this is supposed to be mild paranoia ?

 

Hang in there, and vent away. if you can have a crying jag, do. Green always says she feels better after.

[[Sk...]]

Happy month 20 sky!!! Your right behind me, and I started to feel better in month 21, hope the same is true for you. Hugs, Jenny

 

Thanks Jenny, I am looking at you and HH for the timeline. If it happens, I will be so happy, otherwise we will just hang in there and truck on.

 

I don't remember when FJ healed. Was it at month 21 too ?

 

I have to say that month 20 has brought many old, unpleasant symptoms. Loads of obsessive thoughts in a loop. Catastrophic too. Hard to believe that this far out these thougts can be this bad.

[[Sk...]]

 

Hi everyone,

 

I got this from Baylissa’s FB page and she is working tirelessly to make what we and many, many others are going through as a result of taking and discontinuing these dangerous drugs. The more people that sign this petition the more chance this has of becoming recognized. Thanks everyone 

 

 

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/491/850/205/the-benzodiazepine-scandal/?taf_id=13912931&cid=fb_na#

 

Done ! Will share too although I can only get two more people to sign, the only two people in the world who know about this.

[[Sk...]]

 

[move]HAPPY 2OTH ANNIVERSARY! SKY![/move]

 

I get the pain in the eye, that's the stye feeling. Is it like that?  Can you wear glasses instead of contacts for a while?  It might help.

 

Is staying with mom an option so you can take your time house hunting?

 

Yes, I have tried alternating, it makes no difference at all. If you have it too, that's all I need to know ! 

 

Yes, of course we can stay at my mom, but she lives quite south and it would not be practical to be going to and fro around the country. We will be ok, I guess.

 

Sorry to have to dump everything on Mr Sky.

 

Where is Coop ?

[[...]]

I’m so encouraged by you Jenny, you seem to have gone from feeling stuck to much better quite quickly. It doesn’t seem that long ago when you said you were too sick to post. And not getting freaked out dealing with your boy’s op. That is amazing, well done. 

 

I sort of feel stuck at the moment, I’m at work and feel like crying. The whole neighbour thing is feeding my negative thoughts at the moment, anxiety was awful earlier. There was another dead mole outside my backdoor this morning and realistically I know the cat will have brought it. It set me off again though, the paranoia, obsessive thoughts. Had a lunchtime walk which helped the anxiety, now I just feel low and muscles hurt. Sorry for moaning again, this is so hard.

 

I am so sorry you are going through this, Marj. Paranoia is A-W-F-U-L. I have it too, but it just amplifies small things in my very boring life. And I still find it horrible.

 

So, I really can't imagine what you are going through.  Moan away, now it's more important than ever, you know ?

 

Unfortunately, this is one of those things that only the buddies can get fully, we know how awful paranoia is. And this is supposed to be mild paranoia ?

 

Hang in there, and vent away. if you can have a crying jag, do. Green always says she feels better after.

 

 

 

Thanks Sky    and WELL DONE on 20 months, that's 20 months behind you and the future to look forward to. It really does help to be understood and yes I know you all get it; thank God.

 

I will have to wait to cry, I always cry if I need to, it's a bit difficult at work. The thing is I also feel like kicking and screaming and stamping my feet like a toddler, quite scary really.

at least the anxiety has levelled of, now my brain has turned to cement again. Also there is a woman a work, who is lovely, but oh my, her voice is killing my ears 

[[Fi...]]

Sky--I wrote my success story at 21 and a half months.  Still feeling super at coming up on 22. 

[[...]]

Sky--I wrote my success story at 21 and a half months.  Still feeling super at coming up on 22.

 

 

Yes I just read it again for inspiration and a reminder that this will end. It is a fabulous success story, I can relate so much to the bad times, oh to feel super 

[[Gr...]]

Morning all,

 

Sky- 20 months Healing in progress!!!!

 

Marj- Thank you for posting the petition, I have signed so many of these for years. I truly hope they are making a difference.

 

Another cool rainy day here. Some of this rain needs to move out to California..they are in very much need of it.

Got some muscle stuff going on this morning but optimistic that a warm epsom salt bath will bring some relief..

 

What's on the menu

 

Sloppy Joes

home fries

chopped salad

Yogurt and strawberries

 

Have the best day you possibly can.

 

Beulah, dinner sounds delicious!

 

I've got tight muscles, but I slept for 11 hours!  That's def not Vit C.  But I'll take it no matter where it came from

Hope you have a better day.  Enjoy that bath.  I lost my tub in a bathroom reno!

[[Gr...]]

I’m so encouraged by you Jenny, you seem to have gone from feeling stuck to much better quite quickly. It doesn’t seem that long ago when you said you were too sick to post. And not getting freaked out dealing with your boy’s op. That is amazing, well done. 

 

I sort of feel stuck at the moment, I’m at work and feel like crying. The whole neighbour thing is feeding my negative thoughts at the moment, anxiety was awful earlier. There was another dead mole outside my backdoor this morning and realistically I know the cat will have brought it. It set me off again though, the paranoia, obsessive thoughts. Had a lunchtime walk which helped the anxiety, now I just feel low and muscles hurt. Sorry for moaning again, this is so hard.

 

I am so sorry you are going through this, Marj. Paranoia is A-W-F-U-L. I have it too, but it just amplifies small things in my very boring life. And I still find it horrible.

 

So, I really can't imagine what you are going through.  Moan away, now it's more important than ever, you know ?

 

Unfortunately, this is one of those things that only the buddies can get fully, we know how awful paranoia is. And this is supposed to be mild paranoia ?

 

Hang in there, and vent away. if you can have a crying jag, do. Green always says she feels better after.

 

Yes, crying is good!  As someone mentioned in a post before, there are stress toxins in tears that are released when we cry.  I used to be very good at crying.  W/d steps on our emotions, and I think that's why we don't cry so easily.

 

The paranoia.  I had it bad, on and off.  Extremely mistrustful at times of even my young sons, and really there was no reason for it.

What helped me, when my brain was help-able, was Baylissa's version of CBT, poking a hole in the false belief.  Saying to yourself, is it possible that I'm wrong, that this isn't -- whatever the paranoid belief is

 

Also, affirmations, for people you can't get out of your head:  So-and-so, I release you, with or without love, depending on who they are in your life, I would say it three times even if I gagged saying it, and I swear it helped.

 

But as is always pointed out, we have to feel well enough for anything to work.  In a very bad wave, there's not much we can do but hold on.  The affirmations helped me, though

 

[[Gr...]]

Sky and Jenny,

 

you guys sound really good.  I'm so glad to hear that!  Month 21. 

 

I slept 11 hours.  woo-hoo

 

Jenny, hope your son is recovering nicely.

 

Sky, the house thing will take care of itself.  As you recover from withdrawal, as you heal, I don't think life's problems will be as important as they used to be.  although you do need a place to sleep.  (maybe use Baylissa's affirmations?  Repeat whatever it is you are trying to affirm.  she used it for financial fear.  she used it for her new apartment, when she had to leave where she was living and had nowhere to go.)

 

Coop, I suspect she is feeling better.  At least I hope she is.  And Nova and Drew, too.

[[Si...]]

I bet too that some of the people that posted success stories have had set backs.  Not that I wish any of that on them. I almost wrote a success story after about 6 months as I felt almost fully healed. I don't know what really set me back off, but it wa either a alcohol bender ( bad idea for sure) or getting the flu two days later. Either way, ve been back in hell for four months.

 

I don't think getting drunk one time, or getting the flu, put you back into withdrawal.  It was going to happen no matter what.  It's like saying I wouldn't have had that heart attack if I hadn't gotten up and walked across the room  (oops, sorry, bad analogy!)

 

Feel better, Sig.

 

Thanks Green. Yes we're always looking for a reason. Just odd that I felt nearly 100% for 5 months and then get hit. The tension headaches and jitters are really bad this week. Crushing depression too, which isn't something I normally have. I'm nearing my 14 month mark. Hoping this nightmare will end soon.

[[dr...]]

Yup good healing going on here.  Marj...sorry on the paranoia

 

congrats on 20 months SKY

 

hope everyone else is okay including coop and nova.

 

I am 14 mnths today so that is the average heal time......using my magic wand.....poof...i'm healed

[[be...]]

Yup good healing going on here.  Marj...sorry on the paranoia

 

congrats on 20 months SKY

 

hope everyone else is okay including coop and nova.

 

I am 14 mnths today so that is the average heal time......using my magic wand.....poof...i'm healed

 

drew- 14months  You are healing!!!!

[[Se...]]

Hi.  I still find it terrifically hard to follow posts in here... responding to each poster takes a lot of focus and energy that I don't have at present, so I'm tending to just drop bombs (sorry) and depart.  Hope that's ok for now.    It sounds like a bit of a mixed bag in here right now as far as people's progress.  I guess that's just what we all have to accept eventually, as difficult as it is.

 

Last day of school for kids today.  Engaged in WWIII just trying to get stubborn daughter on bus this morning.  The stress just about did me in & I was bawling.  Big blow-out.  Thanks, clonazepam; I love you, too.    Glad I don't have to get up with them to help them get ready for school for the next two months, but then they'll be home with me all day, and I've barely been able to leave the house for the past month except to walk or get groceries.  I need to get rid of any guilt I still have for not being fully here for them.  It's good that they're 11 & 15 and getting far more independent.  Don't know what I'd have done if this happened to me when they were really little.  I've already told them that next summer I'll be further along and even hopefully healed.  That will have to do.  I don't know about summer vacation this year.  Last year I was in no shape to go anywhere.  This year might be the same.  We'll see.  Hoping for the best.

 

Not gonna say much about present symptoms because they all suck and are all stuck on "high", but I did go for a nearly hour long walk today and I think it's helped with the anxiety.  I don't have an appetite these days; it's hard to eat, so living on smoothies and fruit.  Stuff I don't have to prepare much.  OK, I will say one thing (haha) about symptoms.  This week, I've noticed increased cog fog and memory problems, and that's concerning me somewhat.  Maybe it's because the anxiety is so high... I recall that when I'd have high anxiety (prior to these drugs), memory and cognition would take a hit.  It happens in states of anxiety anyway.  Not gonna panic... yet.

 

Hoping you all have a tolerable day and a good sleep tonight.  Thanks for all the continued support, buddies.  Means a lot to me.

 

Serenity 

[[dr...]]

Serenity-we all do what we can do.  If we all worried about missing a responses and stuff on this thread it'd be worse than recovery

 

hope your muck leaves.

[[Se...]]

Ah, thanks, drew! 

[[je...]]

I’m so encouraged by you Jenny, you seem to have gone from feeling stuck to much better quite quickly. It doesn’t seem that long ago when you said you were too sick to post. And not getting freaked out dealing with your boy’s op. That is amazing, well done. 

 

I sort of feel stuck at the moment, I’m at work and feel like crying. The whole neighbour thing is feeding my negative thoughts at the moment, anxiety was awful earlier. There was another dead mole outside my backdoor this morning and realistically I know the cat will have brought it. It set me off again though, the paranoia, obsessive thoughts. Had a lunchtime walk which helped the anxiety, now I just feel low and muscles hurt. Sorry for moaning again, this is so hard.

 

 

 

Marj,

 

Hang in there! I felt completely stuck for about 6 months-- month 15-20. Loads of waves, and I felt no real improvement. It's very discouraging when your putting in the time, but do feel like your getting anywhere.. I've had a lot of stress this past week withy sons surgery, and I'm handling it fine-- a few months ago I was having anxiety and panics all day long, I could not have gotten through his surgery, I would have been a mess. A window might be right around the corner for you 

[[je...]]

Happy month 20 sky!!! Your right behind me, and I started to feel better in month 21, hope the same is true for you. Hugs, Jenny

 

Thanks Jenny, I am looking at you and HH for the timeline. If it happens, I will be so happy, otherwise we will just hang in there and truck on.

 

I don't remember when FJ healed. Was it at month 21 too ?

 

I have to say that month 20 has brought many old, unpleasant symptoms. Loads of obsessive thoughts in a loop. Catastrophic too. Hard to believe that this far out these thougts can be this bad.

 

 

 

Sky,

I hope things get better for you too! In month 20 I couldn't see feeling any better, but things turned around pretty quickly for me. Now I can see that all those months of not seeing any improvements I was doing some major healing.. We are all getting there Jenny

[[je...]]

Green- 11 hours of sleep!!! That's amazing, you must feel great! Funny how things turn around when we least expect it. My son is doing better, but its still a long recovery (at least for a 7 year old). They said it takes a full 2 weeks, and I can really see that now... We are at 1 week and he still has a ways to go.

 

Coop, and Nova-- thinking of both of you, hope your both doing well Jenny

[[dr...]]

Green- 11 hours of sleep!!! That's amazing, you must feel great! Funny how things turn around when we least expect it. My son is doing better, but its still a long recovery (at least for a 7 year old). They said it takes a full 2 weeks, and I can really see that now... We are at 1 week and he still has a ways to go.

 

Coop, and Nova-- thinking of both of you, hope your both doing well Jenny

 

 

so he's not protracted? :laugh:

[[je...]]

Drew,

Lol no he's not protracted yet. 

[[...]]

I’m so encouraged by you Jenny, you seem to have gone from feeling stuck to much better quite quickly. It doesn’t seem that long ago when you said you were too sick to post. And not getting freaked out dealing with your boy’s op. That is amazing, well done. 

 

I sort of feel stuck at the moment, I’m at work and feel like crying. The whole neighbour thing is feeding my negative thoughts at the moment, anxiety was awful earlier. There was another dead mole outside my backdoor this morning and realistically I know the cat will have brought it. It set me off again though, the paranoia, obsessive thoughts. Had a lunchtime walk which helped the anxiety, now I just feel low and muscles hurt. Sorry for moaning again, this is so hard.

 

 

 

Marj,

 

Hang in there! I felt completely stuck for about 6 months-- month 15-20. Loads of waves, and I felt no real improvement. It's very discouraging when your putting in the time, but do feel like your getting anywhere.. I've had a lot of stress this past week withy sons surgery, and I'm handling it fine-- a few months ago I was having anxiety and panics all day long, I could not have gotten through his surgery, I would have been a mess. A window might be right around the corner for you 

 

 

Thanks Jenny, it means a lot as you know.  Can I ask,  were you thoroughly miserable?  Ive just cried like a baby to my 17 year old daughter. She is amazing but this is so not right.  Im the parent, its not right that she sees me like that.  It scares the crap out of me but I am hanging on

[[je...]]

Yes marj thoroughly miserable.. I honestly felt like I was getting worse as the months went on. Things can change at any moment, crying is good sometimes it's a way to release all our pent up frustration. I'm sure your daughter doesn't mind being there for you, and I think it's good for our kids to see we are human and things aren't always perfect. I think it builds some compassion in them... Big hugs, Jenny

[[...]]

Yes marj thoroughly miserable.. I honestly felt like I was getting worse as the months went on. Things can change at any moment, crying is good sometimes it's a way to release all our pent up frustration. I'm sure your daughter doesn't mind being there for you, and I think it's good for our kids to see we are human and things aren't always perfect. I think it builds some compassion in them... Big hugs, Jenny

 

 

Jenny 

[[Se...]]

Yes marj thoroughly miserable.. I honestly felt like I was getting worse as the months went on. Things can change at any moment, crying is good sometimes it's a way to release all our pent up frustration. I'm sure your daughter doesn't mind being there for you, and I think it's good for our kids to see we are human and things aren't always perfect. I think it builds some compassion in them... Big hugs, Jenny

 

Jenny - you are right about the "getting worse as the months went on".  A lot of people say this.  I'm experiencing it, too.  And you're also right in that things can change at any moment.  As far as the rest of your message above, yes, yes, and yes!

 

Serenity