12-18 month support

[[...]]

So glad you're having a better day!

 

I usually fall asleep early and wake about 3 am...this wave has thrown that off! I still fell asleep early abut slept restlessly and now I'm awake! Turned the tv on cause the quiet makes it easier to focus on the negative feelings.

 

[[Sk...]]

Hi everybody, I am home at my mother's and my amygdala is out of control. Not knowing where my things are, having everything in a different place is a shock for the delicate balance I  had created. I know it sounds silly but there you are. I have been feeling very  bad and scared and closer to crazy than I had felt in a long time.

Of course it does not help that, the last time I  was here, I was in a full ct, a rather bad ct.

 

Hope the day picks up, happy healing to everybody.

 

 

[[Gr...]]

Hi everybody, I am home at my mother's and my amygdala is out of control. Not knowing where my things are, having everything in a different place is a shock for the delicate balance I  had created. I know it sounds silly but there you are. I have been feeling very  bad and scared and closer to crazy than I had felt in a long time.

Of course it does not help that, the last time I  was here, I was in a full ct, a rather bad ct.

 

Hope the day picks up, happy healing to everybody.

 

Hang on, Sky.  Sleeping in a different place, huge. It will be okay.

[[Sk...]]

Thanks Sue, this is hard, I feel quite confused by very simple things.

 

Hang in there everybody.

[[...]]

Sky, you're doing it! Good for you! It's all part of our process to heal!!

 

Be well!

 

[[mr...]]

Hi everybody, I am home at my mother's and my amygdala is out of control. Not knowing where my things are, having everything in a different place is a shock for the delicate balance I  had created. I know it sounds silly but there you are. I have been feeling very  bad and scared and closer to crazy than I had felt in a long time.

Of course it does not help that, the last time I  was here, I was in a full ct, a rather bad ct.

 

Hope the day picks up, happy healing to everybody.

 

Just continue to just "be" and "float" around the feelings, you're doing great! It is so good for me to revisit and expose myself to anything my "benzo brain" wants to try and say I'm "scared" of! Boo hockey! You got this, friend

 

Mrs.

[[ga...]]

GMIT...I can related to the quiet in the house causing you to focus on the negatives.  That is what I have been doing in the early morning hours.  The latest scary thoughts that I can't shake is of being alone in the years to come and how I will get through life.  Same old, same old.  Why at times, do I let this get ahold of me and bring me down?  Trying to stay in the moment and realize this is just a thought and not true reality.

 

For some better news, sleep has improved a bit the past couple of nights.  Instead of 2 or 3 a.m. I am waking a bit later and feeling a bit more rested.

 

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

[[mr...]]

Yesterday I had a wonderfully full day! I was so tired last night, that when I fell asleep, I had some quick wakings with "starts", and I did awake with some panic about an hour or two after zonking out It was no biggie; it felt kinda icky, of course. I just stayed awake for a while, and then relaxed and fell asleep again to the TV on with a comedy playing I also took half of a propranolol (5mg), to slow my heartrate a bit.

 

Ready for another day here in the Midwest! I hope everyone slept well

 

Mrs.

[[ga...]]

mraslw....I think it is great how you can calm yourself after waking up.  That is huge and I would love to figure out how to do just that.  I can't seem to get out of my own way after waking at a n early hour.

 

Glad to hear you are doing well.

[[je...]]

Sky-- you'll get through it, just think how far you've come in a year. Thinking of you 

Hi Mrs- great news! I notice when I have full days that I fall asleep fast and will stay asleep longer, I love it when that happens

Garton-- hope your sleeping pattern settles and you are able to get some good sleep. Sometimes what I'll do is just embrace the insomnia and tell myself its okay if I'm up all night-- sometimes it works and I end up sleeping.

Gmit-- so sorry this cold has been a tough one on you, praying you get some relief soon 

 

I took our puppy on a long walk yesterday and it did wonders for my mood, so I'm up early and headed out with my friend for another long walk. Hope everyone is doing good today. Jenny

 

[[mr...]]

Jenny, I just LOVE going on long walks!!! I have a "walking buddy" that keeps me motivated and moving! Its a good thing

 

Mrs.

[[dr...]]

Good morming all...

 

Sky n gmit hope you get a break soon.

 

Sounds like everyone else is doing okay.

 

Except for my mini meltdown yesterday morning regarding the medical stuff  I've been feeling okay.  On Thursday I sat through a 4hour dinner!!!  Actually enjoyed it.  Last night I went to a show and sat 3 hours in a middle seat!!!   both events I wasn't praying for it to be over. Such a weird experience.  tonight another Xmas party.  I am not jumping out of my skin or kicking my legs which is nice.

[[Sk...]]

Sky-- you'll get through it, just think how far you've come in a year. Thinking of you 

Hi Mrs- great news! I notice when I have full days that I fall asleep fast and will stay asleep longer, I love it when that happens

Garton-- hope your sleeping pattern settles and you are able to get some good sleep. Sometimes what I'll do is just embrace the insomnia and tell myself its okay if I'm up all night-- sometimes it works and I end up sleeping.

Gmit-- so sorry this cold has been a tough one on you, praying you get some relief soon 

 

I took our puppy on a long walk yesterday and it did wonders for my mood, so I'm up early and headed out with my friend for another long walk. Hope everyone is doing good today. Jenny

 

Jenny, Drew, thanks so much. I know it will get better, but I was surprised at how fast you can get back to square one !!

[[dr...]]

Ahh...the benzo lies....you're not at square one.

[[mr...]]

Ahh...the benzo lies....you're not at square one.

 

This, exactly.

 

Mrs.

[[Fi...]]

After a recently unprecedented three day window that almost had be wanting to declare myself well, the window closed.  I've gone through this far too many times to make the mistake of assuming I'll never slide again, but this far out--16 months--I think I can be forgiven for starting to feel that one of these times I'm going to be in a window for good, right?   Well, one day at a time.....

[[Gr...]]

Thanks Sue, this is hard, I feel quite confused by very simple things.

 

Hang in there everybody.

 

I know, Sky, I had dinner with my BFs grown son and cousin, and I found it very confusing.  Like I couldn't read the signals, the social cues, didn't really know what was going on.  But it's just once a year.  And I think we'll eventually get better a this.  It's just you're out of your comfort zone. 

[[Gr...]]

GMIT...I can related to the quiet in the house causing you to focus on the negatives.  That is what I have been doing in the early morning hours.  The latest scary thoughts that I can't shake is of being alone in the years to come and how I will get through life.  Same old, same old.  Why at times, do I let this get ahold of me and bring me down?  Trying to stay in the moment and realize this is just a thought and not true reality.

 

For some better news, sleep has improved a bit the past couple of nights.  Instead of 2 or 3 a.m. I am waking a bit later and feeling a bit more rested.

 

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

 

Gart, you're so right about the sleep.  I slept 8 hours, have no idea what that's about, lol, and when I woke up my body aches were gone and my mood was so calm and stable.  I think after the new year we're going to see a lot of major improvement on this thread.  Good weekend!

[[Gr...]]

After a recently unprecedented three day window that almost had be wanting to declare myself well, the window closed.  I've gone through this far too many times to make the mistake of assuming I'll never slide again, but this far out--16 months--I think I can be forgiven for starting to feel that one of these times I'm going to be in a window for good, right?   Well, one day at a time.....

 

FJ,  One of these days you will, we will. 

[[...]]

Garton, how are you feeling?

 

Hope everyone is feeling great!

 

[[je...]]

Just realized I'm 15 months out now!! Its a good thing when you start to not keep track of every month.

[[pe...]]

My father died a week ago today.

I am so sick. Virus sick, benzo sick, heart sick. And there is a part of me that's ready to go be with him now. I don't know how to do this. My anxiety has been awful these last few days, a premenstral wave. I just can't believe how long this takes. 11 months is all. I've only made it 11 months. And my supporters are burned out and grieving.

 

  I just want to be free. I want my dad back.

 

Peace2

[[je...]]

Peace,

Iam so sorry for all that has happened. I know how hard this has been for you. You are grieving right now, so anything you are feeling is normal. But I don't think you want to leave your life and go be with him, I think you want to be right here with all your boys and healthy. This is a lot to take for anyone. Please take care of yourself and know that we are all here for you holding your hand. Jenny 

[[Fi...]]

So sorry to hear of so many things hitting you all at the same time, Peace.  It just ain't fair, that's what!  But then, none of this is.  Hang in there.  Cry all you want, is my advice.  You are a brave soul.

Love, FJ

[[dr...]]

Peace...first and foremost I'm saddened and my thoughts are with you over the loss.  Second, if you weren't experincing all the wavy stuff something wouldn't be right. People who are not healing a  cns would be symptomatic.  You just have a lower threshold since we are all recovering.  Please try to just be as best you can and grieve.  No beating yourself up.  So sorry  :'(