12-18 month support

[[Gr...]]

Does anybody get a little sad and jealous from reading all the early success stories?    I'm happy for those folks, but I'm also very saddened and envious that they've gotten out of prison early and are out living their lives again.

 

Also, does anybody often feel like a temperamental three year old as far as emotional maturity?  My God, this is sickening.  :'(

 

Ser, I used to feel that way.  First of all, not to take anything away from early success, a lot of people really do heal, but a lot don't, they write a success story and go on to have waves, and some get clobbered in the second year.  So consider that.  And the other thing, we're well on our way there.  By the time I realized I was on the two year plan, I was well into the second year. You will get there.  everyone heals

 

P.S.  just looked at your signature, you're only 11 months.  Don't give up hope, you could be one of the ones who heals early!  We've had them, Minnie, Life4Me, and I'm sure there are others.  I think Jaso19 was early.  Day at a time.

 

[[Sk...]]

Does anybody get a little sad and jealous from reading all the early success stories?    I'm happy for those folks, but I'm also very saddened and envious that they've gotten out of prison early and are out living their lives again.

 

Also, does anybody often feel like a temperamental three year old as far as emotional maturity?  My God, this is sickening.  :'(

 

Serenity, that is me ! I am a three year old throwing tantrums with Mr Sky ! I am always whining when I don't get my way. I hate myself doing that. ANd then, I turn myself into an adult who helps her students when I give my lessons !

 

And then again, I revert to being a kid all over again !

 

I used to be jealous of them, but then, if you dig you find out they either have not actually healed or they healed so quickly and didn't know how lucky they were and started again.

 

It's complicated, don't jump to conclusions. I get what you are saying.

 

 

[[Sk...]]

I've been agitated for the last three days, which is pretty unusual for me. This comes right after having 10 decent days. I slept every night in those 10 days. Now I've had two sleepless nights, Monday and Wednesday nights. I screwed up last night by taking a few (unplanned) naps on the sofa. Then couldn't go to sleep at my regular time. Was up until 2:30am. I fell asleep pretty quickly. I'm starting to develop anxiety about going to sleep. Hoping tonight goes well since we're leaving for Florida in the morning.

 

Enjoy your BBQ Coop.

 

Siggy, you don't see it, but you're getting better.  10 good days.  That means healing is happening. 

I relate on the anxiety about sleep.  When my insomnia is bad, I start getting the dreads as it gets closer to bedtime, it's a stressful time for me. 

Don't let it get to you.  Have a good time in Florida.

 

I bought a ticket for the HST Center in Atlanta!

 

 

Green, so you are going to Atlanta ? Yay ! So happy to hear that ! When you are leaving ?

 

Siggy, Green is right, you are sounding better. Maybe it wasn't even the naps, it was just a little anxiety over the trip. I think the trip will do you loads of good and you will sleep better.

 

 

Today is really bad for me, my vibrations are insane and the palps too. My brain is not working as well and my eyes are a little foggy. Luckily, some students cancelled, so I am working a little less and I tried to nap as much as possible.

 

Speak later, heal on !

 

Sky, thanks, but I'm not looking forward in a fun way to traveling, I'm more about I'm doing this no matter what.  Withdrawal sx are too unpredictable to be able to plan.  As long as I feel ok, it's all good.  If the tide shifts, everything goes to hell.

 

FYI.  I started chewable Vit. C, I'm probably taking 3000-4000 mg. per day, and I think it helps with the cortisol surges, and as a result sleep.  I don't know if you're dealing with that.  I looked it up online, on health websites, and Vit C. seems to help lower cortisol.  A lot of our gals swear by it.  I didn't feel well enough to experiment before this.  So I will keep you posted.

Have you found a house yet?

 

Sue, it's hard and we still have not found anything yet. It's not going to be simple and it might take some time.

 

Today has been horrid with the anxiety. I don't think this anxiety can be fought like you fight anxiety normally, this is induced chemically. I took some Vitamin C, it helped on other days, but not today.

 

It threw me in  a lot of discomfort, I am seriously discouraged. And now, my eyesight is starting to fade as well, arrrrgh, anything else ? 

 

Beulah, glad you sorted things out, but Green is right, use wd to find out what people are really like. It's not a nice process but it's good to know.

 

Serenity, you daughter is so sweet, you are very lucky and how smart of you to use those videos to explain your story.

 

It feels bad not to get validation but you learn to do without after a while. The important thing is to get at least the validation of the few people that truly matter. 

 

No, Sky, you're right, nothing helps the bad anxiety, I'm sorry you're dealing with that again. I was just trying to calm down the cortisol revving that was my constant companion lately, and it slowed it down a little, I think.

 

The eyes, vision, what are you dealing with?  I get blurry eyes, I get dry eyes, tired eyes, and eyes that feel like they have a stye or something in them.  What are you getting?

 

Green it's beeen two days, I have this pain in my eye. It feels like there is something on it. It's not only blurry vision anymore.

 

I wear contacts, so I do worry. But, as I don't get any relief when I take them off, I will just assume it's wd !

 

Thanks for getting back to me on this one.

 

About the house, it's hard to find a house wìth the money they are going to be giving us for our house. When they do, there is tons of work to be done.

 

So, we' ll see but it will take time.

 

By the way, I am 20 today ! 

 

Have to update my ticker !

[[Sk...]]

Greetings everyone,

 

The roller coaster continues it’s twists and turns. After a successful social event that I wasn’t keen on going but managed to enjoy under the circumstances, you would think a sense of achievement would unveil. Unfortunately I got up on Sunday with vibrations and fatigue. All the things that I intended to do were a million miles away again.  Having being there so many times before it should be expected, however every time it is such a huge let down.

I will share with you what set me in a spin if that is ok, maybe it was my own fault.  Remember the vile neighbour, well a week or so ago one of my cats had brought a dead mole in as a ‘present’. That morning as I was on my way out to work I thought it would be a good idea to place it on his lawn as he is so anal about his precious lawn. Job done, thought nothing more about is. As I was pottering in my garden yesterday trying to distract from all the symptoms I came across said mole under a bush. OMG, he must have put it there or thrown it over. I really thought my destiny was going to be a psyche ward as paranoia set in like I have never experienced. There was no one in his house when I left it, so how did he know? Were there cameras hidden in his garden? Honestly I have never been so scared of my thoughts before and could not sleep at all last night and got up with awful nerve pain.

I will revert back to just ignoring him and his moronic family.

Has anyone else felt such paranoia that just spirals, making your brain hurt. This too shall pass……..

 

Serenity – I totally relate to ALL your suffering. I could have written your post. Stay strong, we will make it out.

 

Marj, please forgive me for laughing, I have not laughed this hard for a long time.

The dead mole in a box, I can just picture you putting it on his lawn..so very carefully, not knowing the camera was rolling. if their was one..hmmm.

Thank you for the laugh..and I will stay tuned for The mole in the box saga...lol lol.

 

Marj, I would not do any retaliation of any kind with paranoia going on 24/7 ! 

 

You can catch up with him when you are healed !

[[Sk...]]

I just wanted to put down how dangerous it is for me to click on even the "unread posts" areas... Look at these three that were at the top of the unread posts...ugh!(by the way I am not judging or saying these shouldn't be posted I just have to avoid it)

 

Nine years plus  New

Started by helloall in Protracted Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Symptoms « 1 2 3 »

20 Replies

 

There's no fight left in me  New

Started by norvegia in Post-withdrawal Recovery Support « 1 2 »

12 Replies

147 Views Last post June 29, 2015, 04:08:31 pm

by thescamp

 

theres no hope for me  New

Started by Hiphopanonymous in

 

Drew, I get it. I avoid anything that is not this thread.

 

Why don't you just check out the updates on the threads you like and trust ?

 

This is information you have to avoid for your own good.

 

Nova, three years is not you. Three years is protracted. So, regroup, you are healing in two years, ok ?

[[dr...]]

Marj...maybe up the ante and throw a dead squirrel?

 

Sky-I didn't read any of them.  Once in a while I like to help the people behind me if I see something I can add helpful.

 

Serenity-11 months was when I had one of my worst waves so far.

 

NOva-chin up my friend or if you prefer to be cranky today you can do that too.  Just do it and then get your chin up.

 

I must say even when many of us are getting hit we do sound so much better as time goes by.  Just a random observaton today.

 

Most symptoms associated with head pressure such as eye pain, dr, and boatiness are less today.  Hoping it was a one off from over exertion. 

[[...]]

Greetings everyone,

 

The roller coaster continues it’s twists and turns. After a successful social event that I wasn’t keen on going but managed to enjoy under the circumstances, you would think a sense of achievement would unveil. Unfortunately I got up on Sunday with vibrations and fatigue. All the things that I intended to do were a million miles away again.  Having being there so many times before it should be expected, however every time it is such a huge let down.

I will share with you what set me in a spin if that is ok, maybe it was my own fault.  Remember the vile neighbour, well a week or so ago one of my cats had brought a dead mole in as a ‘present’. That morning as I was on my way out to work I thought it would be a good idea to place it on his lawn as he is so anal about his precious lawn. Job done, thought nothing more about is. As I was pottering in my garden yesterday trying to distract from all the symptoms I came across said mole under a bush. OMG, he must have put it there or thrown it over. I really thought my destiny was going to be a psyche ward as paranoia set in like I have never experienced. There was no one in his house when I left it, so how did he know? Were there cameras hidden in his garden? Honestly I have never been so scared of my thoughts before and could not sleep at all last night and got up with awful nerve pain.

I will revert back to just ignoring him and his moronic family.

Has anyone else felt such paranoia that just spirals, making your brain hurt. This too shall pass……..

 

Serenity – I totally relate to ALL your suffering. I could have written your post. Stay strong, we will make it out.

 

Marj, please forgive me for laughing, I have not laughed this hard for a long time.

The dead mole in a box, I can just picture you putting it on his lawn..so very carefully, not knowing the camera was rolling. if their was one..hmmm.

Thank you for the laugh..and I will stay tuned for The mole in the box saga...lol lol.

 

Marj, I would not do any retaliation of any kind with paranoia going on 24/7 ! 

 

You can catch up with him when you are healed !

 

 

Yes Sky I totally agree with you,  I will not retaliate in any way, it is not worth it. I just had a moment of madness. Im so not strong enough to handle any repercussions. I will rise above. 

Im happy to give Beulah a laugh though 

 

[[je...]]

Nova,

 

Hope your feeling better today 

[[je...]]

I just wanted to put down how dangerous it is for me to click on even the "unread posts" areas... Look at these three that were at the top of the unread posts...ugh!(by the way I am not judging or saying these shouldn't be posted I just have to avoid it)

 

Nine years plus  New

Started by helloall in Protracted Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Symptoms « 1 2 3 »

20 Replies

 

There's no fight left in me  New

Started by norvegia in Post-withdrawal Recovery Support « 1 2 »

12 Replies

147 Views Last post June 29, 2015, 04:08:31 pm

by thescamp

 

theres no hope for me  New

Started by Hiphopanonymous in

 

 

 

 

Drew,

 

Yeah stay away from all that, it does nothing but depress me..

[[Fi...]]

Drew-- do you not gain any sense of perspective from reading of people who are worse off? 

 

Serenity--a rule I learned and have to keep re-learning--never waste your envy.  It's a waste of emotional energy.  You never know anyone else's entire story and you don't know what's going to happen to them next.  I keep getting schooled in this over and over.  Case in point--just before Christmas, a gym buddie--my age--I'd always kind of envied for various reasons,  jetted off with her family to Hawaii, and died of the flu in a Maui hospital.

[[be...]]

Hello, everyone

 

As I said before, I've been sleeping a little more, I think maybe it's the Vit. C.  Still feel fatigued, but I'm in that mode where I feel better later in the day.  I think the fatigue is from that cortisol revving.  I read somewhere years ago that we only have X amount of cortisol and if we use it all up we're going to crash.  So that revving I think is taking its toll.

 

My ex is back in the hospital, so that's what I'm doing today, and hopefully a walk, and trying to pack. 

I really need to get moving.

 

Have a better day, everyone.

 

Green, good you are sleeping more. I would like to try the vitamin c but I'm scared of it. I'm afraid it would hurt my stomach, all supplements seem to bother my gut.

Sounds like you have a busy day planned. Sorry about your ex.

 

 

[[je...]]

Hi everyone,

As Ive been taking care of my son all week from his surgery Iam constantly reminded of my own healing although I know we take MUCH longer the basic principal is the same. The first few day he experienced the "acute" phase --lots of pain, then he was fine for a few days and yesterday he experienced a sort of set back. He started complaining of pain again and said his jaw hurt (I think from it being clamped open), very fussy and irritable, and angry that he cant eat the foods he wants or go outside and enjoy the summer like his friends can. It so reminded me of how I get in my own healing process--frustrated that its not moving faster!! All I could do is reassure him that he will heal, and it will be better very soon, that everyday he is healing a little bit even if he doesn't feel it, and so it is true for all of us... Everyday our bodies have the amazing ability to heal themselves, it just takes time. Be well friends, Jenny

[[dr...]]

Drew-- do you not gain any sense of perspective from reading of people who are worse off?

 

Serenity--a rule I learned and have to keep re-learning--never waste your envy.  It's a waste of emotional energy.  You never know anyone else's entire story and you don't know what's going to happen to them next.  I keep getting schooled in this over and over.  Case in point--just before Christmas, a gym buddie--my age--I'd always kind of envied for various reasons,  jetted off with her family to Hawaii, and died of the flu in a Maui hospital.

 

A this point it is more of a drag since I was so sick earlier in my taper before I found here. I really don't want to go back to that dark place.  It still gets my chemiacals going.

[[Sk...]]

Hi everyone,

As Ive been taking care of my son all week from his surgery Iam constantly reminded of my own healing although I know we take MUCH longer the basic principal is the same. The first few day he experienced the "acute" phase --lots of pain, then he was fine for a few days and yesterday he experienced a sort of set back. He started complaining of pain again and said his jaw hurt (I think from it being clamped open), very fussy and irritable, and angry that he cant eat the foods he wants or go outside and enjoy the summer like his friends can. It so reminded me of how I get in my own healing process--frustrated that its not moving faster!! All I could do is reassure him that he will heal, and it will be better very soon, that everyday he is healing a little bit even if he doesn't feel it, and so it is true for all of us... Everyday our bodies have the amazing ability to heal themselves, it just takes time. Be well friends, Jenny

 

Jenny, so glad your son is ok.

 

What a beautiful point you made, how true.

 

Seems that wd has already helped make you an even better mother, wiser.

 

Who knows what other superpowers await us by the end of this ? 

[[be...]]

Hi everyone,

As Ive been taking care of my son all week from his surgery Iam constantly reminded of my own healing although I know we take MUCH longer the basic principal is the same. The first few day he experienced the "acute" phase --lots of pain, then he was fine for a few days and yesterday he experienced a sort of set back. He started complaining of pain again and said his jaw hurt (I think from it being clamped open), very fussy and irritable, and angry that he cant eat the foods he wants or go outside and enjoy the summer like his friends can. It so reminded me of how I get in my own healing process--frustrated that its not moving faster!! All I could do is reassure him that he will heal, and it will be better very soon, that everyday he is healing a little bit even if he doesn't feel it, and so it is true for all of us... Everyday our bodies have the amazing ability to heal themselves, it just takes time. Be well friends, Jenny

 

Yes Jenny, I think everyone heals in stages. Your son sounds kinda like me, complaining of pain, fussy, irritable, can't eat the foods I want, can't go out and play....but still healing.

 

A good thing you had so much healing before your sons surgery. You were blessed.

[[Si...]]

I bet too that some of the people that posted success stories have had set backs.  Not that I wish any of that on them. I almost wrote a success story after about 6 months as I felt almost fully healed. I don't know what really set me back off, but it wa either a alcohol bender ( bad idea for sure) or getting the flu two days later. Either way, ve been back in hell for four months.

[[Fi...]]

I could have mistakenly written a success story dozens of times, so I'm always a little concerned for people who write them early on.  I think it's important that people post when they're feeling hopeful though, because others need that. If everybody waited until they were 100% sure, they'd be long gone.

 

Glad to report that my story at 21-and-a-half-months stands!

[[Gr...]]

Does anybody get a little sad and jealous from reading all the early success stories?    I'm happy for those folks, but I'm also very saddened and envious that they've gotten out of prison early and are out living their lives again.

 

Also, does anybody often feel like a temperamental three year old as far as emotional maturity?  My God, this is sickening.  :'(

 

Serenity, that is me ! I am a three year old throwing tantrums with Mr Sky ! I am always whining when I don't get my way. I hate myself doing that. ANd then, I turn myself into an adult who helps her students when I give my lessons !

 

And then again, I revert to being a kid all over again !

 

I used to be jealous of them, but then, if you dig you find out they either have not actually healed or they healed so quickly and didn't know how lucky they were and started again.

 

It's complicated, don't jump to conclusions. I get what you are saying.

 

That's what I was trying to say, lol!  Your brain works very well.

[[Gr...]]

Hello, everyone

 

As I said before, I've been sleeping a little more, I think maybe it's the Vit. C.  Still feel fatigued, but I'm in that mode where I feel better later in the day.  I think the fatigue is from that cortisol revving.  I read somewhere years ago that we only have X amount of cortisol and if we use it all up we're going to crash.  So that revving I think is taking its toll.

 

My ex is back in the hospital, so that's what I'm doing today, and hopefully a walk, and trying to pack. 

I really need to get moving.

 

Have a better day, everyone.

 

Green, good you are sleeping more. I would like to try the vitamin c but I'm scared of it. I'm afraid it would hurt my stomach, all supplements seem to bother my gut.

Sounds like you have a busy day planned. Sorry about your ex.

 

 

Beulah, there's absolutely no way to know if the C helped.  So often I attribute getting worse or getting better to something, and most likely it's withdrawal/healing rolling along

 

The ex has many health problems, he's in a nursing home, only 68.  I get a reality check when I see him, because, yes, things could be worse.  I am healthy and getting better.  He is not.

 

I take a chewable C. It hasn't bothered me yet. 

 

Hope today was a decent day for you.

[[Gr...]]

I bet too that some of the people that posted success stories have had set backs.  Not that I wish any of that on them. I almost wrote a success story after about 6 months as I felt almost fully healed. I don't know what really set me back off, but it wa either a alcohol bender ( bad idea for sure) or getting the flu two days later. Either way, ve been back in hell for four months.

 

I don't think getting drunk one time, or getting the flu, put you back into withdrawal.  It was going to happen no matter what.  It's like saying I wouldn't have had that heart attack if I hadn't gotten up and walked across the room  (oops, sorry, bad analogy!)

 

Feel better, Sig.

[[Gr...]]

 

[move]HAPPY 2OTH ANNIVERSARY! SKY![/move]

 

I get the pain in the eye, that's the stye feeling.  Is it like that?  Can you wear glasses instead of contacts for a while?  It might help.

 

Is staying with mom an option so you can take your time house hunting?

[[...]]

 

Hi everyone,

 

I got this from Baylissa’s FB page and she is working tirelessly to make what we and many, many others are going through as a result of taking and discontinuing these dangerous drugs. The more people that sign this petition the more chance this has of becoming recognized. Thanks everyone 

 

 

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/491/850/205/the-benzodiazepine-scandal/?taf_id=13912931&cid=fb_na#

[[je...]]

Happy month 20 sky!!! Your right behind me, and I started to feel better in month 21, hope the same is true for you. Hugs, Jenny

[[be...]]

Morning all,

 

Sky- 20 months Healing in progress!!!!

 

Marj- Thank you for posting the petition, I have signed so many of these for years. I truly hope they are making a difference.

 

Another cool rainy day here. Some of this rain needs to move out to California..they are in very much need of it.

Got some muscle stuff going on this morning but optimistic that a warm epsom salt bath will bring some relief..

 

What's on the menu

 

Sloppy Joes

home fries

chopped salad

Yogurt and strawberries

 

Have the best day you possibly can.

 

[[...]]

I’m so encouraged by you Jenny, you seem to have gone from feeling stuck to much better quite quickly. It doesn’t seem that long ago when you said you were too sick to post. And not getting freaked out dealing with your boy’s op. That is amazing, well done. 

 

I sort of feel stuck at the moment, I’m at work and feel like crying. The whole neighbour thing is feeding my negative thoughts at the moment, anxiety was awful earlier. There was another dead mole outside my backdoor this morning and realistically I know the cat will have brought it. It set me off again though, the paranoia, obsessive thoughts. Had a lunchtime walk which helped the anxiety, now I just feel low and muscles hurt. Sorry for moaning again, this is so hard.