12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Hello everyone,

 

Everyone apprears to be holding their own. How we put up with this I do not know, but what strength to get through day in day out.

 

My day began after a toxic nights sleep to horrible pain in my upper body. It was extra, extra hard getting up. As well as the pain, my body just feels full of inflammation. I did some EFT tapping (I use this a lot). Anyway the pain did ease off a little, I just feel really sore everywhere, internally too in the throat, ears ugh. I don't know if I overdid it a bit with the baking (the carrot cake went down well at work, sadly I only dare have a small bit). I was trying to cook dinner at the same time and came over a bit strange ie dizzy weak.

 

Does everyone else suffer so badly in the mornings? it's so hard to drag yourself arround, climbing the stairs is like tackling mt Everest. When I get to work I always think I'm going to face plant. Felt a bit better this afternoon until someone mentioned someone who I have never even heard of who has taken their life and this has had an awful affect on me and made me feel a quite panicky and my heart is just pounding. Things like this are so upsetting but I'd never heard of the guy before, I don't know why it's made me feel like this.

Beyond exhausted and wanting my life back

 

.....Marj .  So sorry you are in the soup. All the body external and internal pain and feeling of body fatigue sounds like benzo flu....Yes, everything that you say about warmed over death mornings and feeling like you won't get through the day without a face plant all sounds so familiar. How you go to work every day is heroic. ..If you can just keep it going to somewhere around month 18 ( give or take) I think k you will start seeing clear signs of reliable healing underneath the sx. You are doing a tremendous job of getting through each day. 

....I am hoping some sunbreaks for you.  enough at least to keep you going....It does get better Marj...it's just that every day feels like forever.. You are going to get to the end of this.  coop

[[mr...]]

Hello everyone,

 

Everyone apprears to be holding their own. How we put up with this I do not know, but what strength to get through day in day out.

 

My day began after a toxic nights sleep to horrible pain in my upper body. It was extra, extra hard getting up. As well as the pain, my body just feels full of inflammation. I did some EFT tapping (I use this a lot). Anyway the pain did ease off a little, I just feel really sore everywhere, internally too in the throat, ears ugh. I don't know if I overdid it a bit with the baking (the carrot cake went down well at work, sadly I only dare have a small bit). I was trying to cook dinner at the same time and came over a bit strange ie dizzy weak.

 

Does everyone else suffer so badly in the mornings? it's so hard to drag yourself arround, climbing the stairs is like tackling mt Everest. When I get to work I always think I'm going to face plant. Felt a bit better this afternoon until someone mentioned someone who I have never even heard of who has taken their life and this has had an awful affect on me and made me feel a quite panicky and my heart is just pounding. Things like this are so upsetting but I'd never heard of the guy before, I don't know why it's made me feel like this.

Beyond exhausted and wanting my life back

 

Marj, I was TOTALLY like this.

 

Key word: *was*

 

I can still have an odd day here 'n there, but that's all it is, toots

 

It will go away! Completely!

 

Love to you,

 

Mrs.

[[Mi...]]

Hi all, truth be told, I haven't even been lurking for the past 5 days, I don't really know how the group is doing, and I don't have the focus to read about it right now.  I have been in something close to acute for all of those 5 days.  Cannot believe how wasted, sore, tired, and anxious my body and mind has felt.  Today and yesterday have been the worst of this stretch.  Both mornings have felt like I woke up, but never woke up, then went about my day anyway.  Today I got up at 7:00 after sleeping 8 hours and by 8am it felt like midnight.  Had my morning coffee and banana, took a shower, still felt like you feel the second you wake up.  It took everything I had to make my son breakfast and practice flash cards with him.  Benzo belly has been in fully effect for all 5 days too....none off the fullness or lump in the throat stuff, more like razors in the belly type of feeling coming and going, plus lots of nausea before and after eating.  Some hours it goes completely away, you know the routine.

 

This is a total piss and moan post but I don't care.  I had to jot down my thoughts and feel heard for some reason.  I guess I feel really alone in this house right now even though my son and I are hanging out.  Ya know, I take that back, I don't feel alone, I feel disconnected from reality from the DP crap, which is giving me the feeling like I'm missing out on life, and frankly not even truly conscious in this life.  It's really hot and humid right now which fine with me, but in this state I can't leave the house and motivate.  The worst part is, none of my many hobbies seem interesting at all to me.  I can't even watch TV, everything is just so unappealing. 

 

The upside of feeling this low is knowing that at any moment I'm going to start feeling great again.  Also, there must be major healing going on.  Another plus.

[[No...]]

Hi Mike ... I hear where you are ... hell, I know where you are ... and you are right, this one will pass just like all the others ...

 

And that uninterested, unappealing, disconnected feeling ... nothing to be done but to wait it out ... 

[[mr...]]

Hi all, truth be told, I haven't even been lurking for the past 5 days, I don't really know how the group is doing, and I don't have the focus to read about it right now.  I have been in something close to acute for all of those 5 days.  Cannot believe how wasted, sore, tired, and anxious my body and mind has felt.  Today and yesterday have been the worst of this stretch.  Both mornings have felt like I woke up, but never woke up, then went about my day anyway.  Today I got up at 7:00 after sleeping 8 hours and by 8am it felt like midnight.  Had my morning coffee and banana, took a shower, still felt like you feel the second you wake up.  It took everything I had to make my son breakfast and practice flash cards with him.  Benzo belly has been in fully effect for all 5 days too....none off the fullness or lump in the throat stuff, more like razors in the belly type of feeling coming and going, plus lots of nausea before and after eating.  Some hours it goes completely away, you know the routine.

 

This is a total piss and moan post but I don't care.  I had to jot down my thoughts and feel heard for some reason.  I guess I feel really alone in this house right now even though my son and I are hanging out.  Ya know, I take that back, I don't feel alone, I feel disconnected from reality from the DP crap, which is giving me the feeling like I'm missing out on life, and frankly not even truly conscious in this life.  It's really hot and humid right now which fine with me, but in this state I can't leave the house and motivate.  The worst part is, none of my many hobbies seem interesting at all to me.  I can't even watch TV, everything is just so unappealing. 

 

The upside of feeling this low is knowing that at any moment I'm going to start feeling great again.  Also, there must be major healing going on.  Another plus.

 

(((((MJ))))) ~ My "go and DO!" buddy!!

 

Thought I'd repost all this, just as a reminder how correct you are ~ TONS of awesome healing occurring at this very moment!!

 

Love to you,

 

Mrs.

 

ONEDAYATATIME ... the short answer is yes ... they can certainly be very difficult at this stage ... and some days it is indeed a mind trip ... and it does get better ... time is the healer ... 

 

Thanks for this Nova! Is anyone else housebound at this timeframe? New symptoms?

 

ODAAT,

 

Dr. Jenn experienced a horrid wave that was acute at 36 months free. Late waves can happen. Hers lasted for four months. Post-wave came an incredible boost in baseline, and what she calls "almost healed". Baylissa also had a horrible acute like wave at 2 years, directly before she healed. Healinghope had one from 15.5-19 months.

 

Here is Dr Jenn's post on her blog at 36 months: http://benzowithdrawalhelp.com/2014/06/23/three-years-off-today-a-look-back-a-look-forward/

 

All of her June 2014 posts can be found on the same page as linked above. You can scroll to the very bottom of her blog and select other months to view as well; I might encourage you to view the four months of posts during her wave, and then the posts that follow those months...it is awesome to read what a change that occurred!! IMO, of course

 

You will heal and get through this! Just keep swimming

 

Mrs.

 

 

 

Very encouraging Mrs!  A few months ago I wouldn't have believed that you could come out of a long wave like that. I'm not kidding I felt like I was in a wave from month 15-20.. I'm finally out and feel so much clearer, and better. Baseline is way higher, its all true.

[[...]]

Hello everyone,

 

Everyone apprears to be holding their own. How we put up with this I do not know, but what strength to get through day in day out.

 

My day began after a toxic nights sleep to horrible pain in my upper body. It was extra, extra hard getting up. As well as the pain, my body just feels full of inflammation. I did some EFT tapping (I use this a lot). Anyway the pain did ease off a little, I just feel really sore everywhere, internally too in the throat, ears ugh. I don't know if I overdid it a bit with the baking (the carrot cake went down well at work, sadly I only dare have a small bit). I was trying to cook dinner at the same time and came over a bit strange ie dizzy weak.

 

Does everyone else suffer so badly in the mornings? it's so hard to drag yourself arround, climbing the stairs is like tackling mt Everest. When I get to work I always think I'm going to face plant. Felt a bit better this afternoon until someone mentioned someone who I have never even heard of who has taken their life and this has had an awful affect on me and made me feel a quite panicky and my heart is just pounding. Things like this are so upsetting but I'd never heard of the guy before, I don't know why it's made me feel like this.

Beyond exhausted and wanting my life back

 

.....Marj .  So sorry you are in the soup. All the body external and internal pain and feeling of body fatigue sounds like benzo flu....Yes, everything that you say about warmed over death mornings and feeling like you won't get through the day without a face plant all sounds so familiar. How you go to work every day is heroic. ..If you can just keep it going to somewhere around month 18 ( give or take) I think k you will start seeing clear signs of reliable healing underneath the sx. You are doing a tremendous job of getting through each day. 

....I am hoping some sunbreaks for you.  enough at least to keep you going....It does get better Marj...it's just that every day feels like forever.. You are going to get to the end of this.  coop

 

 

Thanks Coop, your words mean and help a lot. If we can make it this far, we can make it to the end. The thing is we are not good at recognizing our own accomplishments and each and everyone going through this is such a trooper.

The face plant thing is funny really (well not when you think you will have one) I've never had one, a million thoughts about one, but never happened.

[[...]]

Hello everyone,

 

Everyone apprears to be holding their own. How we put up with this I do not know, but what strength to get through day in day out.

 

My day began after a toxic nights sleep to horrible pain in my upper body. It was extra, extra hard getting up. As well as the pain, my body just feels full of inflammation. I did some EFT tapping (I use this a lot). Anyway the pain did ease off a little, I just feel really sore everywhere, internally too in the throat, ears ugh. I don't know if I overdid it a bit with the baking (the carrot cake went down well at work, sadly I only dare have a small bit). I was trying to cook dinner at the same time and came over a bit strange ie dizzy weak.

 

Does everyone else suffer so badly in the mornings? it's so hard to drag yourself arround, climbing the stairs is like tackling mt Everest. When I get to work I always think I'm going to face plant. Felt a bit better this afternoon until someone mentioned someone who I have never even heard of who has taken their life and this has had an awful affect on me and made me feel a quite panicky and my heart is just pounding. Things like this are so upsetting but I'd never heard of the guy before, I don't know why it's made me feel like this.

Beyond exhausted and wanting my life back

 

Marj, I was TOTALLY like this.

 

Key word: *was*

 

I can still have an odd day here 'n there, but that's all it is, toots

 

It will go away! Completely!

 

Love to you,

 

Mrs.

 

 

 

Oh Mrs, That is as good as a success story to me. I do know I'm a sensitive person, but oh my, it's like you experience others pain and it overwhelms. Quite unbelievable how you can be doing ok, wearing the mask and something, sometimes just few words from someone can halt you in your tracks.  The phrase 'it will pass' has never been more helpful and is on a loop in my head. That and someone else having the same stuff for it to go away.

 

Love and hugs 

 

[[ON...]]

Hi everyone! I'm 17 months off all the poison today. As most of you already know, these last few months have been the worst yet, yes, probably worse than acute. It's great reassurance knowing that  not alone with acute symptoms at this timeframe, although I'd rather you all didn't have to go through this hell. Coop, I have EXTREME health anxiety. I think anyone that would have these intense symptoms this far out would. I have my bp machine and pulse oximeter on me at all times and the few times I leave the house, I take them with me lol. Every sensation, feeling, movement, twitch I think I'm dying. Also, for some reason mashed potatoes are one of the most acid producing foods for me when eat them, I'm not sure why and everyone's different but I thought I'd mention that.

 

My worst symptoms as of late:

 

•crazy sensations that can't be described throughout body

•feeling like I'm about to have a seizure any moment

•muscle spasms and twitches

•extreme fatigue, weakness and light headed all day after bowel movements

•inner vibrations

•chemical terror and fear

•morning adrenaline rushes

•air hunger

•muscle loss, weight loss

•sensitive to tv and computer screens and other light and noise

•inability to eat solid foods

•inability to shower or bathe

•DP comes and goes

•housebound

•ANXIETY and some agoraphobia

•etc etc etc etc

 

No matter how much reassurance and times I talk to Baylissa Fredericks and others that have healed I can't believe that others possibly had it this bad at 17 month timeframe but Baylissa always tells me that I will heal or I can sue her, ha! She also tells me that she's spoken to over 6000 people and not one hasn't healed, even people she thought were actually dying and not going through only withdrawal went on to heal and live healthy, normal lives.

[[No...]]

ONEDAYATATIME  ... the only useful comparison we can make is "everybody heals" ... here is another comparison ... "nobody gets left behind" ... and for today's trifecta ... "it is what it is until it isn't, for everybody" ...

 

One way I have found to help with my hopelessness and fear is to recognize that I am not in charge of my healing ... literally, I am along for the ride ... all my trust is in the fact that it is my body that is doing the healing ... I do not have to do anything other than get through each day and not take the drug again ... everything else takes care of itself with regard to my healing ...

 

You have gotten to 17 months off today ... a remarkable achievement ... have you taken a moment to recognize how proud you are of yourself? ...

 

We, you included, are the lucky ones ... we are the survivors ... and there are thousands of us ...

 

We are giving ourselves the gift of the possibility of a drug free life ...

 

All of your symptoms, as difficult as they are today, will disappear ... all you and all of us need to do is to just keep going ... one day at a time ... 

 

 

[[je...]]

ONEDAYATATIME  ... the only useful comparison we can make is "everybody heals" ... here is another comparison ... "nobody gets left behind" ... and for today's trifecta ... "it is what it is until it isn't, for everybody" ...

 

One way I have found to help with my hopelessness and fear is to recognize that I am not in charge of my healing ... literally, I am along for the ride ... all my trust is in the fact that it is my body that is doing the healing ... I do not have to do anything other than get through each day and not take the drug again ... everything else takes care of itself with regard to my healing ...

 

You have gotten to 17 months off today ... a remarkable achievement ... have you taken a moment to recognize how proud you are of yourself? ...

 

We, you included, are the lucky ones ... we are the survivors ... and there are thousands of us ...

 

We are giving ourselves the gift of the possibility of a drug free life ...

 

All of your symptoms, as difficult as they are today, will disappear ... all you and all of us need to do is to just keep going ... one day at a time ... 

 

 

 

Nova, this is so perfectly written. Everything you said above is true, and I love the statement that we are just along for the ride.

[[je...]]

Thank you everyone for your well wishes :)surgery went well, but he's in a lot of pain, so its gonna be a long night for me. I'm holding up surprisingly well with all the stress. Love to all, Jenny

[[pe...]]

Hi Jenny,

Thinking of you both! So glad surgery went well and now the healing. I vividly remember my oldest one getting adenoids out at 3 years old and his strong urge to clear his throat. It felt tickly. So, if that happens don't be surprised. Hoping you're both able to rest comfortably tonight.

 

Peace2

[[be...]]

Thank you everyone for your well wishes :)surgery went well, but he's in a lot of pain, so its gonna be a long night for me. I'm holding up surprisingly well with all the stress. Love to all, Jenny

 

Jenny, that's wonderful news.   We knew you would do fine, you're a fighter!!

Catch a nap when you can. Hugs

[[Co...]]

Hi everyone! I'm 17 months off all the poison today. As most of you already know, these last few months have been the worst yet, yes, probably worse than acute. It's great reassurance knowing that  not alone with acute symptoms at this timeframe, although I'd rather you all didn't have to go through this hell. Coop, I have EXTREME health anxiety. I think anyone that would have these intense symptoms this far out would. I have my bp machine and pulse oximeter on me at all times and the few times I leave the house, I take them with me lol. Every sensation, feeling, movement, twitch I think I'm dying. Also, for some reason mashed potatoes are one of the most acid producing foods for me when eat them, I'm not sure why and everyone's different but I thought I'd mention that.

 

My worst symptoms as of late:

 

•crazy sensations that can't be described throughout body

•feeling like I'm about to have a seizure any moment

•muscle spasms and twitches

•extreme fatigue, weakness and light headed all day after bowel movements

•inner vibrations

•chemical terror and fear

•morning adrenaline rushes

•air hunger

•muscle loss, weight loss

•sensitive to tv and computer screens and other light and noise

•inability to eat solid foods

•inability to shower or bathe

•DP comes and goes

•housebound

•ANXIETY and some agoraphobia

•etc etc etc etc

 

No matter how much reassurance and times I talk to Baylissa Fredericks and others that have healed I can't believe that others possibly had it this bad at 17 month timeframe but Baylissa always tells me that I will heal or I can sue her, ha! She also tells me that she's spoken to over 6000 people and not one hasn't healed, even people she thought were actually dying and not going through only withdrawal went on to heal and live healthy, normal lives.

 

....OneDay.....I am so sorry that you are going through all this, ...and yes, I could have written your post myself....practically every day....although I will say that I stopped sleeping with my b/p monitor months ago, but it was quickly replaced by other intense health fears/anxieties/panics that only got worse from the 16th month to current ( 19.5 months). ...You and I and Drew should form a sub group for flaming relentless health fear....It is so not funny. I keep remembering HH's last post..  she suffered greatly with health fear/panic and now after healing at 23/24 months she is free from it. It truly is the most horrific sx. I also feel that my worst wave ...as you say, worse than acute was in months 16- 19.5. Things are beginning to gradually shift towards good healing again. Jenny saw no improvements in months 15-30 and had constant anxiety.  ..She is doing great now and just got home from a 10 day family vacation....and today was at the hospital while her little boy had tonsil surgery....and felt only normal anxiety and nervousness. I also need incessant reminders that health fear is a s/x ....having said that I have spent this entire month chasing s/x at physician's office, x-rays, labs etc......I feel the healing underneath this crushing g s/x....I would say it is my last significant s/x....but it is consuming.

...Just keep going OneDay....even if you don't believe you are not going to get better...Everything that Nova said....Pm me anytime for hypochondria misery because most likely I will be in exactly the same mud. I am just trying to go with "It is what it is until it isnt"....Wishing you  (and me) some peace from the health anxieties.....btw...if you didn't have health anxiety like this before benzos  you won't have them after healing....coop

[[Co...]]

Hi everyone! I'm 17 months off all the poison today. As most of you already know, these last few months have been the worst yet, yes, probably worse than acute. It's great reassurance knowing that  not alone with acute symptoms at this timeframe, although I'd rather you all didn't have to go through this hell. Coop, I have EXTREME health anxiety. I think anyone that would have these intense symptoms this far out would. I have my bp machine and pulse oximeter on me at all times and the few times I leave the house, I take them with me lol. Every sensation, feeling, movement, twitch I think I'm dying. Also, for some reason mashed potatoes are one of the most acid producing foods for me when eat them, I'm not sure why and everyone's different but I thought I'd mention that.

 

My worst symptoms as of late:

 

•crazy sensations that can't be described throughout body

•feeling like I'm about to have a seizure any moment

•muscle spasms and twitches

•extreme fatigue, weakness and light headed all day after bowel movements

•inner vibrations

•chemical terror and fear

•morning adrenaline rushes

•air hunger

•muscle loss, weight loss

•sensitive to tv and computer screens and other light and noise

•inability to eat solid foods

•inability to shower or bathe

•DP comes and goes

•housebound

•ANXIETY and some agoraphobia

•etc etc etc etc

 

No matter how much reassurance and times I talk to Baylissa Fredericks and others that have healed I can't believe that others possibly had it this bad at 17 month timeframe but Baylissa always tells me that I will heal or I can sue her, ha! She also tells me that she's spoken to over 6000 people and not one hasn't healed, even people she thought were actually dying and not going through only withdrawal went on to heal and live healthy, normal lives.

 

....OneDay.....I am so sorry that you are going through all this, ...and yes, I could have written your post myself....practically every day....although I will say that I stopped sleeping with my b/p monitor months ago, but it was quickly replaced by other intense health fears/anxieties/panics that only got worse from the 16th month to current ( 19.5 months). ...You and I and Drew should form a sub group for flaming relentless health fear....It is so not funny. I keep remembering HH's last post..  she suffered greatly with health fear/panic and now after healing at 23/24 months she is free from it. It truly is the most horrific sx. I also feel that my worst wave ...as you say, worse than acute was in months 16- 19.5. Things are beginning to gradually shift towards good healing again. Jenny saw no improvements in months 15-30 and had constant anxiety.  ..She is doing great now and just got home from a 10 day family vacation....and today was at the hospital while her little boy had tonsil surgery....and felt only normal anxiety and nervousness. I also need incessant reminders that health fear is a s/x ....having said that I have spent this entire month chasing s/x at physician's office, x-rays, labs etc......I feel the healing underneath this crushing g s/x....I would say it is my last significant s/x....but it is consuming.

...Just keep going OneDay....even if you don't believe you are not going to get better...Everything that Nova said....Pm me anytime for hypochondria misery because most likely I will be in exactly the same mud. I am just trying to go with "It is what it is until it isnt"....Wishing you  (and me) some peace from the health anxieties.....btw...if you didn't have health anxiety like this before benzos  you won't have them after healing....coop

 

*15-20*.  .Jenny saw no improvements in months 15-20...not 30....Mercy!

[[Co...]]

Jenny....so glad all went well....get some rest....coop

[[Co...]]

Hi all, truth be told, I haven't even been lurking for the past 5 days, I don't really know how the group is doing, and I don't have the focus to read about it right now.  I have been in something close to acute for all of those 5 days.  Cannot believe how wasted, sore, tired, and anxious my body and mind has felt.  Today and yesterday have been the worst of this stretch.  Both mornings have felt like I woke up, but never woke up, then went about my day anyway.  Today I got up at 7:00 after sleeping 8 hours and by 8am it felt like midnight.  Had my morning coffee and banana, took a shower, still felt like you feel the second you wake up.  It took everything I had to make my son breakfast and practice flash cards with him.  Benzo belly has been in fully effect for all 5 days too....none off the fullness or lump in the throat stuff, more like razors in the belly type of feeling coming and going, plus lots of nausea before and after eating.  Some hours it goes completely away, you know the routine.

 

This is a total piss and moan post but I don't care.  I had to jot down my thoughts and feel heard for some reason.  I guess I feel really alone in this house right now even though my son and I are hanging out.  Ya know, I take that back, I don't feel alone, I feel disconnected from reality from the DP crap, which is giving me the feeling like I'm missing out on life, and frankly not even truly conscious in this life.  It's really hot and humid right now which fine with me, but in this state I can't leave the house and motivate.  The worst part is, none of my many hobbies seem interesting at all to me.  I can't even watch TV, everything is just so unappealing. 

 

The upside of feeling this low is knowing that at any moment I'm going to start feeling great again.  Also, there must be major healing going on.  Another plus.

 

....Mike... so sorry to hear this....welcome to the last worst wave. You jumped just a few months before me....Months 16-19.5 ...things are starting to turn around gradually. ...This has to be very tough for you as you are so active...Lean into it if you can , in my experience fighting against it makes it worse ) easier said than done) ...And yes....the piss and moan strategy helps in bad waves....I have cried and whined on here so much....We need to vent to people who know what we are going through because nobody else doess.

......You are going to surface from this Mike, but I hate it that are suffering....coop

[[Gr...]]

It's not your heart.  I would try the Prilosec and just do me cycle.  The horror stories I googled are from people taking them long term.  Mostly like benzos.

 

.....yep, I read an article that came across my fb. ( I don't google, but it seems like it's impossible to avoid scary medical stuff), that long term use of ppi can cause heart issues, but prilosec wasn't one of them....I am going to start with them tomorrow....you are so generous to keep sharing information about this with me..  have a good  ivht Drew....Wishing you better sleep.  .coop

 

Coop & Drew,

 

I have a very good friend who is an exercise physiologist, and does a LOT on following studies on nutrition and medications.  He had some things to say about this most recent "fuss" created regarding PPIs, so I thought I'd share it:  http://myemail.constantcontact.com/PPIs-and-Heart-Attacks--The-Bottom-Line.html?soid=1101642174615&aid=UgK7ldbjj0Y

 

On a personal note, his opinion is one that I value greatly.  He is smart, understands medical studies and nutrition amazingly well, and has been a great help to me during my taper and withdrawal (he even helped me figure out how to use nutrients to help 'settle' some of the withdrawal I was experiencing).  Much of his words of wisdom are what has helped me respond to many buddies on this forum in the past

 

Anyways, I thought his words could bring some ease to your mind about the recent "hoopla".  It surely helped me   Of course, I do not intend for it to be medical advice, and you are free to decide whatever you believe is best for you, of course

Hope you're feeling better soon! Love to you all,

 

Mrs. :smitten:

 

....Thanks so much Mrs...I read the article and very much agree with his bottom line....I am losing weight rather than gaining ( I am down another 10 this month ...anxiety, health fear, no appetite and now belly pain),...I am very open to no fat/no acidic foods...). It seems like he is saying the ppi is to treat the reflux until you can make behavioral changes and get the reflux calmed..Whatever happened to goid old Mylanta or Gaviscon?.  In my entire life I have never had any kind of stomach problem, but I have never been in w/d either.

...maybe I will call the pharmacist and ask what exactly the difference is between prilosec and something like gaviscon. The mashed potatoes and yogurt seem to be tolerable. If it's not better in  month she wants a scan for hiatal hernia or gall bladder...I am willing to do anything to avoid scans and scopes...this stupid cough is taking on a life of its own and just snowballs from one possible dx to the next....I am doing all that I know how to hang on to my few shreds of rational thought....I have the clear and definite feeling that my healing would be at at least 80% if the health issues would get resolved...Tonight is better than most of the day has been...

....thanks again so much Mrs for the link...it was helpful...

...How are you doing? ...I love to see you when you drop in with your encouragements and links....love to you....coop

 

Coop,

 

You should see the expected benefit of a PPI within a couple of days, max.  If you still have that cough, acid may not be your problem.

 

If it's a hiatal hernia, isn't the surgery for that similar or the same as getting a tummy tuck?  I remember years ago friends of mine would say they could get their tummy tuck covered by insurance if they had a hiatial hernia, making the procedure medically necessary.

 

If you lost 10 pounds in just this month, then I don't think you need a tummy tuck.

[[Gr...]]

Hi Everyone,

I haven't read past a few posts back, so I don't know how you all are doing today.  I'm hoping that things are settling down!  I'm just doing a quick check-in after a weekend up in Portland.  My physical anxiety was up a bit while I was there, mostly manifesting itself via "the squeezes" as I unaffectionately like to call them.  I also had 2 nights of not great sleep, but that could have been from sleeping in a camping trailer in my in-laws large shop.  I didn't let it bother me (too much). 

 

My day today highlighted just how far I have come since last summer, and I wanted to share it with you.  I took my two daughters, along with two of their friends, to a mountain lake that is about an hour away.  It is pretty remote, with no cell service.  I had very minimal anxiety that popped up once or twice, but it didn't put a damper on my day at all.  I wasn't worried that I didn't have cell service, which last year would have made my already flaming health anxiety go crazy....no way to call 911 when I had a heart attack??? :  Last summer I would have freaked out...and probably wouldn't have gone without my husband.  But today, I was calm and content and I enjoyed my day.    Just me, my girls, and their friends.  Love!

 

Another interesting thing was as I was reading an old magazine, I came across an article about a women whose life was almost destroyed by addiction.  She ended up being an alcoholic, but guess what started it?  You guessed it.....doctor prescribed pain pills and benzos.  She didn't have a problem, or even a desire to drink, before taking them for several years.  It talked about how hard it was for her to stop both drinking AND her prescription medications.  The article stopped after she recounted finally getting off them altogether, but it didn't touch on the post-withdrawal at all.  I'm sure it was a tough go.  The article also put more emphasis on the alcohol rather than the pain meds and benzos, but I would venture that it was the prescription meds that were causing the most damage.  It just made me realize how LUCKY we are to be healing from these poisons!!  It can be brutal, yes, but we really don't have another choice.  Healing is real.  It WILL HAPPEN.  It just takes time and patience.  We are the lucky ones. 

 

HH, this is a wonderful post.  I agree, we got off very lucky.  There are a lot of people on this site who discuss adding alcohol while in tolerance, not even realizing why they were drinking so much.  I will say it again, benzos, very dangerous drug, almost impossible to get off, and, yes, we are amazing for doing it, and yes, we're also very fortunate.  People's lives are destroyed by this drug.

 

So glad to hear things are looking up.  I know all about the squeezes, lol  You sound good.

[[Gr...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

Sorry I've been neglectful of you all. I got hit with another huge wave of body and muscle pain, so just trying to keep my head above water. It's sounds like everyone is living with a little good and a little bad. So sorry you are all suffering. We just have to keep hanging on a few more months and we'll be home free.

 

Have any of you been suffering severe leg pain and muscle weakness in your legs?  It's very difficult to walk at times. It's like I have no strength or coordination.  Last Saturday I felt pretty good, so I went swimming. I struggled to get in the pool because of my weakness and Boatiness going down the stairs was difficult. Thank goodness I still have arm strength and coordination to support me.  Then once in the water I tried to swim. I've always been an excellent swimmer. I used to teach swimming. Well, my legs were so weak and uncoordinated I could hardly kick them in the water.  I was shocked. The day after my swimming experience is when the new wave hit and I've been in pain ever since.

And it's been difficult to walk without cramping up. I know this is W/D but it's really scary.

 

Coop, your acid reflux is causing your cough. It's very common.  You should do what Drew did and take 2 weeks of Prilosec to get it under control.  Also, raise the head of your bed up about 3 inches or send a foam piece that keeps your head up at night. The acid coming up is causing the pain and coughing. Don't be afraid of the Prilosec it will help, just take it for a short time. It's probably caused by W/d. Also, don't eat past 7pm if you can help it and avoid carbohydrates at night.

 

Green : did you ever find an over the counter sleep med that worked for you?

 

Korbe, sounds like you're having a rough time.

 

I will share with you that I went to a friend's pool recently, and, yes, there is the weakness in the legs.  And, yes, being in the water was enough to qualify as overdoing it, and I was exhausted the next day, maybe two days.

 

The leg weakness, it comes and goes.  I gave up trying to ride my bicycle because my leg muscles can't handle it.  I feel tremendous fatigue when I try to ride a bicycle, and I'm a fairly strong rider, I had very strong legs.  I am able to walk, though, and that's what I do.

 

There is no rhyme or reason to this.  I was able to ride my bike last year, not this year.

 

I'm hoping we all see big improvements in the next couple of months.  I try not to focus on what I can't do, it would make me crazy.  This second year has been quite a ride.

 

On the reflux, I agree with what Korbe said.  I had really bad reflux while on Xanax, and was put on Nexium, 40 mg.  I'm down to 20 mg OTC.  I plan to wean off when this is over.  I agree with Drew, like benzos, PPIs cause problems if you take them long term. 

Coop, also, the severe stress you were having would definitely contribute to an acid stomach.  And, as Korbe said, it's a common withdrawal symptom.

 

Korbe, no I haven't found anything.  I took the Unisom one night, two of them, and it didn't help.  I'm going to get the Unisom with doxy that was recommended.  I just haven't gotten to the store yet.  I'm a little cautious, reluctant, to experiment.  But I will try to them and let you know

[[Gr...]]

I'm experiencing pretty bad neck, face, and shoulder tension at this point?  Is this something that is common this late into withdrawal?

 

Hello.  Yes, it's very common, I think everyone here has probably had it.  You're just over a year?  Yes, it's common.  It passes, comes and goes.

[[Gr...]]

Hi guys,

 

Well today my 7 year old is having his surgery to have his tonsils/adenoids removed, I feel a little nervous and anxious but I think that is normal given the circumstances. Please say a prayer for us today... Love u all, jenny

 

Definitely will, Jenny.  Good luck

[[Gr...]]

Just a whine....Yesterday was pretty decent for most of the day once I got through the morning anxiety...Sleep was also pretty decent..

...Today.....GAW...(as Sky says).  cascading anxiety/ mini panics all day....screaming health fears, d/r and cog fog. Determined to pretend like none of its going on...but wearing out...This is starting to resemble Sky's pattern of every other day trade off....How do you take it Sky?.. 

....I can't concentrate on a thing....going outside for a walk is the only thing that helps. 

....I know it's all part of the deal.  Just crying and whining...

..Hope everyone is getting some breaks...send some my way.....coop

 

Coop, that's how I manage to get through most of my days, pretending nothing is going on.

I sure am doing a lot of faking and pretending lately, but if this is what it takes to get me through..then so be it.

We gotta do what we gotta do. Hugs.

 

Beulah, I ignore it until I can't

[[Gr...]]

Good Morning ... had a lousy sleep night ... ugly dreams stuff ... mostly about going "backwards" ... won't even think about that ...

 

Head pressure and the "flu" ... and some other bothersome stuff ... legs out of whack ... pinging off the walls a bit ...

 

Must have something to do with being finished with 20 months and turning 21 ... 

 

Another day in the salt mines ... and going "forward" ... 

 

[move][/HAPPY 20TH ANNIVERSARY, NOVA!move]

[[Co...]]

Hey Green....Hi...how is the sleep ?.  Did you get any relief?

....How are you doing ?.. Are you still feeling good healing underneath your lingering sx?

...  I hope it's not a hiatal hernia.  I would never be able to do a surgery at this point.  The cough comes and goes throughout the day, but I think it's improving as I am not losing my breath so much . I have ultrasounds on thurs.  but a hiatal hernia is a ct..  just hoping it will resolve...I am sick of thinking about any of it, sick of not eating.. sick of tests ...I am sure it's all w/d muscle/tissue inflammation....If this would go away I would have such a good baseline. 

.....Green...do you feel better than you did this weekend?.  Wasn't HH's post great.. more than encouraging...We are all going be feeling that good....and Jenny got through her son's tonsil surgery just fine...2 months ago it would have been so much more difficult for her....It is the best thing to see friends who have traveled with us for more than a year crossing the finish.....Wishing you more good sleep.  coop