12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Hi all,  another day in paradise as Nova says 

Well I will start on a positive.....  managed to get some sleep!  Woke up to vibrations, breathing issues, fatigue, fog and fear. Ive noticed that my hearing is super sensitive recently, I feel like I need ear plugs. Last night my daughter and I put face masks on each other, she knew I was struggling as my mother is taking my wd personally again. When I am wavy I simply cannot speak to her on the phone; its like torture. So naturally I avoid this. Shes been questioning my daughter on the fact I can speak to the bristol tranquilizer people,  who are wonderful,  but not her. This is so hard and I cannot try to explain to her any more. Even my daughter is irritated by her selfishness. I wish I could just let it go. I'm going to be on trend and go low and slow. I have food shopping to do,  but Ive done it before so there is nothing to fear. Honestly, I never expected to be still like this at 14 1/2 months. I dont now how you all have coped so long, you deserve medals.

Just wondering,  I take a concentrated curcumin (tumeric) for inflammation pain, especially in the neck, shoulder and upper back. This does help but Ive had to take ibuprofen recently. Should this be ok to take if needed? 7

 

I hope no one minds me venting as without all your support, this at times feels impossible.  The healing island?  Yes please 

 

.....Hi Marj....well you sound like you are in the soup...Glad that you at least got some sleep. This kind of misery is common in the second year...terrible, but true. ...The stress with your mother makes things that much worse. Unless they have been through it, our families can not begin to understand what we are going through, but it is not too much to expect that they respect our needs . ...

  .Marj this will end .  All of the sx you mention are so common .  I really hope your day improves as it goes along...Yes.  Beulah's Healing Abbey.. would be such a comfort..  so glad we have each other here on the thread.

.....thinking of you Marj... ..coop

[[Co...]]

Marj.  The Ibuprofen should be ok if you don't use it for more than a few days at a time. I found that even the low dose if 200mg every 6 hours was helpful for body pain. .  Wishing you a better day.  coop

[[...]]

Thanks coop,  youre a gem.

Hope you are doing ok,  I know you are not sleeping, which is an ordeal in itself. You are doing amazing, what with recovering from cancer and this. You will be so strong and resilliant.

My mother is a battle on her own. If there was anything that would tempt me to take valium,  it would be this. I do care about her and I know it is hard to understand. I just sometimes want to scream at her that I have my own kids and a job to hang onto whilst going though this,  and she gets pissed with me because im not available to talk mumbo jumbo on the phone at the moment. Sorry,  im off again,  deep breath.

I think a shower and a wobbly walk are needed.

Take care,  wishing you a good day

[[Co...]]

Thanks coop,  youre a gem.

Hope you are doing ok,  I know you a6re not sleeping, which is an ordeal in itself. You are doing amazing, what with recovering from cancer and this. You will be so strong and resilliant.

My mother is a battle on her own. If there was anything that would tempt me to take valium,  it would be this. I do care about her and I know it is hard to understand. I just sometimes want to scream at her that I have my own kids and a job to hang onto whilst going though this,  and she gets pissed with me because im not available to talk mumbo jumbo on the phone at the moment. Sorry,  im off again,  deep breath.

I think a shower and a wobbly walk are needed.

Take care,  wishing you a good day

 

....Marj..  does your mom text?  I have told my family that sometimes I just don't feel well enough to chat on the phone, but if they text me I will text back.... I still get a claustrophobic feeling on the phone or in face to face conversations that get too long.  The thing I love about texting is that it gives you time to think about how you want to reply and you can take a break from the conversation if you need to.

.....Try for low and slow today Marj.  Wishing you sunbreaks.  .coop

[[...]]

Thanks coop,  youre a gem.

Hope you are doing ok,  I know you a6re not sleeping, which is an ordeal in itself. You are doing amazing, what with recovering from cancer and this. You will be so strong and resilliant.

My mother is a battle on her own. If there was anything that would tempt me to take valium,  it would be this. I do care about her and I know it is hard to understand. I just sometimes want to scream at her that I have my own kids and a job to hang onto whilst going though this,  and she gets pissed with me because im not available to talk mumbo jumbo on the phone at the moment. Sorry,  im off again,  deep breath.

I think a shower and a wobbly walk are needed.

Take care,  wishing you a good day

 

....Marj..  does your mom text?  I have told my family that sometimes I just don't feel well enough to chat on the phone, but if they text me I will text back.... I still get a claustrophobic feeling on the phone or in face to face conversations that get too long.  The thing I love about texting is that it gives you time to think about how you want to reply and you can take a break from the conversation if you need to.

.....Try for low and slow today Marj.  Wishing you sunbreaks.  .coop

 

 

Now this will make you chuckle. Yes she txts when it suits her and I have dropped hints,  however if I txt her,  often instead of txt back,  she calls.  Its like an invitation; I txt her from work the other day and she did txt back,  but then she called too. Its not lonliness as she has friends,  my sister and brother. She has always been like that, only I cant handle it currently.  I have to put myself first,  which I struggle with.  Crazy eh 

The idea of that healing island away from the madness other than withdrawal is heaven

[[be...]]

6

Coop, the honey lavender tea sounds so good and soothing.  My, your days sound busy with all of the wedding planning, I'm sure it's a nice distraction away from your symptoms.

Love that your daughter is asking for your help with the plans. The baby breath and candles sound so romantic.

I helped my daughter with her wedding and it was exhausting. My wedding gift to her was the food, everything Italian, right down to the gelato...it was so much fun.

You are probably tuckered now, get some rest, sweet wedding dreams.

Another day under our belts.

 

Hi Beulah....Got the Island Healing Abbey ready?.....Yes I am getting tired but my daughter is starting to unravel...the wedding  is about 5 weeks away and she is stressed.. Wow...Italian wedding food...including gelato....Beulah, what a wonderful gift..I love everything Italian...I think I should have been born Italian...I love spaghetti with clam sauce...and wine...and here I am with mashed potatoes and reflux...

....Have a peaceful night Beulah...have some gelato....coop

 

Coop, I love Italian food but it doesn't love me back. My daughter's husband is Italian...he likes the pasta and wine..while my daughter is perfectly happy with some potatoes..lol.

 

That acid reflux sure can put a crimp on good Italian food. I have to avoid a lot of things I love to eat.

I love tomatoes and anything with a tomato based sauce, but the reflux isn't worth it.

Maybe after some more time this reflux will slow down for us both, I've dealt with it for years but it has worsened since withdrawal.

 

Here's to mashed potatoes and all things bland!!!! 

[[Fi...]]

Marj--my sympathy on the mom  front.  It's so ingrained in us to be "good daughters" that we feel really guilty when we  try to put ourselves first.  But in this fight--which you are fighting to come out a better, healthier person which will benefit EVERYBODY--you really have to learn to put yourself first.  It's hard, because we're taught never to do it!  But right now, you need to be at the top of somebody's list, and it better be yours, because it doesn't look like you get to be at the top of your mother's.  She wants you there to be her listener, right?  She wants you to be there for HER.  Right now, you can only be there for YOU.  I hit a point (and the phone hit the kitchen floor) when I just realized it was useless to try to get my mother to understand.  It felt rather freeing to give up.  Good luck.  Hang in there.  This will all be in the past someday.  You can return to being whatever level of "good daughter" you care to be after you've seen yourself through this and all the way to well! 

[[Co...]]

Thanks coop,  youre a gem.

Hope you are doing ok,  I know you a6re not sleeping, which is an ordeal in itself. You are doing amazing, what with recovering from cancer and this. You will be so strong and resilliant.

My mother is a battle on her own. If there was anything that would tempt me to take valium,  it would be this. I do care about her and I know it is hard to understand. I just sometimes want to scream at her that I have my own kids and a job to hang onto whilst going though this,  and she gets pissed with me because im not available to talk mumbo jumbo on the phone at the moment. Sorry,  im off again,  deep breath.

I think a shower and a wobbly walk are needed.

Take care,  wishing you a good day

 

....Marj..  does your mom text?  I have told my family that sometimes I just don't feel well enough to chat on the phone, but if they text me I will text back.... I still get a claustrophobic feeling on the phone or in face to face conversations that get too long.  The thing I love about texting is that it gives you time to think about how you want to reply and you can take a break from the conversation if you need to.

.....Try for low and slow today Marj.  Wishing you sunbreaks.  .coop

 

 

Now this will make you chuckle. Yes she txts when it suits her and I have dropped hints,  however if I txt her,  often instead of txt back,  she calls.  Its like an invitation; I txt her from work the other day and she did txt back,  but then she called too. Its not lonliness as she has friends,  my sister and brother. She has always been like that, only I cant handle it currently.  I have to put myself first,  which I struggle with.  Crazy eh 

The idea of that healing island away from the madness other than withdrawal is heaven

 

......Oh, Marj.  You are right...you have to take care of yourself first of all...Have to told her that conversations are just too much right now and she just doesn't respect that?..  So sorry you are dealing with this....difficult people is the last thing we need to be tying to deal with..  I can't believe she calls you at work.. Wishing you some peace.....coop

[[be...]]

Morning all, Yep, it's still raining here!!!   My daughter called me last night and she was so upset that her garden got washed out...her back yard is a pond. My son's basement is flooded but he managed to get everything out of there before any damage.

We have a warning not to drink our water because of high nitrate levels. They say it's safe for healthy adults but not for infants or pregnant women...are you kidding me I'm not drinking that crap!! They said boiling it would only increase the nitrates.

Everyone's arguing over whose at fault for the water situation, the farmers are blaming the big businesses and they are blaming the farmers for the run off in the fields, they go around and around.

 

Me and my aching muscles will be busy today finishing up with the Ark.

Wishing all a dry and quiet day.

 

[[...]]

Marj--my sympathy on the mom  front.  It's so ingrained in us to be "good daughters" that we feel really guilty when we  try to put ourselves first.  But in this fight--which you are fighting to come out a better, healthier person which will benefit EVERYBODY--you really have to learn to put yourself first.  It's hard, because we're taught never to do it!  But right now, you need to be at the top of somebody's list, and it better be yours, because it doesn't look like you get to be at the top of your mother's.  She wants you there to be her listener, right?  She wants you to be there for HER.  Right now, you can only be there for YOU.  I hit a point (and the phone hit the kitchen floor) when I just realized it was useless to try to get my mother to understand.  It felt rather freeing to give up.  Good luck.  Hang in there.  This will all be in the past someday.  You can return to being whatever level of "good daughter" you care to be after you've seen yourself through this and all the way to well! 

 

OMG FG,  you are spot on.  Last night I said to my daughter,  she wants me to be well of course, but for her own benefit. I cannot let this hinder my recovery. Im going to take my walk down to see the horses,  who dont expect anything from me apart from a few carrots

[[Co...]]

Beulah,.. wow...so sorry about all the rain going on where you live.. .did your garden survive?...

...Thank you for telling me a little more about reflux or GERD.  I thought it would just heal and go away.  It has totally engaged my health anxiety, but I am working on all my self talk. Do you have days in which you feel really sick with it.  nausea, upper belly pain, no appetite.  ?.  I had hot milk and honey this morning but it made me sick and I just want to stay in bed today.  This is not looking like a good day today.  Hoping it will turn around.....yes...mashed potatoes and yogurt.  even the thought of those makes me nauseous

.....Beulah.  An Ark.  And an Island Healing Abbey?  You are a busy woman..  coop

[[je...]]

Please please please tell me it's completely normal to be in absolute acute hell for 3 months from months 14 to current almost 17. I've never questioned medication intervention more than I have lately. I am a ton worse than last year. I'm 123 pound 5'9" male. Am I alone? Is this possible? Will I heal? Do I need to reinstate?

 

 

 

Yes, its normal. I felt bad from months 15-20 and did not see any healing. It gets better , so keep going. You have come way to far to even think of reinstatement, that shouldn't even be an option. Hope you start to see some improvements soon, jenny

[[je...]]

I am hearing a lot of healing on this thread which makes me very happy, it seemed for a while there we were all suffering quite a bit with no end in site. For me I think the 15 - 20 months were by far my worst, lots of waves and I did not see any healing. Funny how we all seem to be somewhat on the same healing course.

 

[move][/HAPPY 21ST ANNIVERSARY, JENNY! move]

 

 

Green,

 

Thank you! I didn't even realize I passed the 21 month until I saw this post. I guess it's a good thing when we stop counting the months I can't believe how long we've all been at this.. Also, about the sleep stuff-- I have not tried either of those meds but I have heard of other members using unisom and it seems to help, I have not heard of anyone trying zzyquil so I would be cautious of that one. As with anything start out slow, I hope you get some sleep soon-- I know how miserable that can be. Love ya, jenny

[[je...]]

Hi Beulah,

Wow, that is some crazy rain you've been having. Your poor daughter, I would be so upset if my garden got flooded. Funny when I was in Texas, they had just gotten over some pretty bad flooding-- it didn't rain the whole time we were there and then on our last day a big storm was rolling in. I guess we got lucky. We get no rain here in Vegas, its just hot hot hot! It's gonna be 112 degrees today, ugh looks like I'm not leaving the house.

[[Co...]]

Please please please tell me it's compl6etely normal to be in absolute acute hell for 3 months from months 14 to current almost 17. I've never questioned medication intervention more than I have lately. I am a ton worse than last year. I'm 123 pound 5'9" male. Am I alone? Is this possible? Will I heal? Do I need to reinstate?

 

 

 

Yes, its normal. I felt bad from months 15-20 and did not see any healing. It gets better , so keep going. You have come way to far to even think of reinstatement, that shouldn't even be an option. Hope you start to see some improvements soon, jenny

 

ONE DAY... Jenny is right.. .You have come so far. I am just emerging from a 2 month plus killer wave..  probably the worst since acute.. tons of physical sx and raging health fear. In the middle of this, I also considered reinstatement....I was so desperate... I did not reinstate and have seen some good sunbreaks in just this week. The thing about reinstatement is that it may not even help you feel better at all, it could make you feel worse.....and there are a couple of buddies on this thread who did reinstate and say that the second w/d is worse than the original w/d.

.....I know how miserable and desperate you feel.  .I have been there, it is especially hard this far out.. .Try to go hour to hour.  It will get bettee....Wishing you better days.  cooperten

[[No...]]

Good Afternoon ... seems I may have missed the morning check in ...

 

Lousy sleep last night ... is this getting contagious too? ... 

 

Went to veggie market ... the new veggies are finally here ... 

 

So ... Beet and Potato Soup ...

 

One bunch of new beets and the red stems (save the greens for stir fried greens later) ... handful of potatoes ... some carrots and an onion ...

 

Dice them up and then sweat them in some bacon fat for a bit ... if you have garlic throw some in and a bunch of thyme and celery seed ...

 

After sweating add a litre or so of veggie or chicken stock ... simmer until tender ... cool and puree ...

 

Hit it with some lemon if you like ... eat hot or warm or chilled ... some goofy folks add sour cream ...

 

Hope we all have a quiet day ... 

 

 

[[Be...]]

I was recently told from the A1C blood test, that I now have diabetes based on this test that surveys the past 3 months of glucose levels.  I have found online that chronic stress  (benzo WD anyone?)  can cause this from the incessant release of adrenalin we get during the process of healing.  This apparently affects the insulin resistance.

 

I have a very clean diet with little sugars and my health overall is good, so WTH?  I know of at least one other person who was also told they have either pre or current diabetes going through the withdrawal.

 

Does anyone know about this and does the problem go away once your body is healed again?

 

This is just so insane.

 

Thanks

[[Co...]]

Jenny...21 months!.  .I am hanging on tight to your improvements You are sounding so great...So many of the success stories say that right in that 20-24 months it all changed for the good. ....I am so happy for you....You had that long long 5 month stall, I don't know how you endured it, but you did. I am having a tough day today and your post to One Day is getting me through. I am actually cycling in and out of anxiety about every 10-15 minutes.  I have had some goid sunbreaks in the past week or so...so this stinks, but I know it's w/d ....nothing to do but get through it. .  Love to see you here today.  .coop

[[Co...]]

Good Afternoon ... seems I may have missed the morning check in ...

 

Lousy sleep last night ... is this getting contagious too? ... 

 

Went to veggie market ... the new veggies are finally here ... 

 

So ... Beet and Potato Soup ...

 

One bunch of new beets and the red stems (save the greens for stir fried greens later) ... handful of potatoes ... some carrots and an onion ...

 

Dice them up and then sweat them in some bacon fat for a bit ... if you have garlic throw some in and a bunch of thyme and celery seed ...

 

After sweating add a litre or so of veggie or chicken stock ... simmer until tender ... cool and puree ...

 

Hit it with some lemon if you like ... eat hot or warm or chilled ... some goofy folks add sour cream ...

 

Hope we all have a quiet day ... 

 

HI Nova..  ...Yes, we seem to have a 'middle of the night' group going on for awhile. Sorry your sleep wasn't good. But off you went to the market anyway.. ..

....Thanks for the recipe...since I hate beets, would it work ok to exchange the beets for carrots...?...

...Aside from the beets ( personal non-preference)...it sounds yum.  I think a little sour cream on it would be good

  ...Hope your day has plenty of sunbreaks ....carry on.....coop

[[je...]]

Hi coop,

Yes this has been a very rough few months for some of us. Both you and I had this horrible anxiety, I still get a few bouts but it passes quickly. We all just have to keep hanging on. This w/d is just so crazy, to be sick for months and then one day wake up and feel normal-- I will never understand this, but it happens. You say your having a bad day, but you do sound much better than you were a month ago-- we are making improvements everyday even when we don't see it. Your stronger than you think Coop! Love ya, jenny

[[Co...]]

Hi coop,

Yes this has been a very rough few months for some of us. Both you and I had this horrible anxiety, I still get a few bouts but it passes quickly. We all just have to keep hanging on. This w/d is just so crazy, to be sick for months and then one day wake up and feel normal-- I will never understand this, but it happens. You say your having a bad day, but you do sound much better than you were a month ago-- we are making improvements everyday even when we don't see it. Your stronger than you think Coop! Love ya, jenny

 

Thanks for the encouragement Jenny....have the very best day....love to you....

[[Co...]]

I was recently told from the A1C blood test, that I now have diabetes based on this test that surveys the past 3 months of glucose levels.  I have found online that chronic stress  (benzo WD anyone?)  can cause this from the incessant release of adrenalin we get during the process of healing.  This apparently affects the insulin resistance.

 

I have a very clean diet with little sugars and my health overall is good, so WTH?  I know of at least one other person who was also told they have either pre or current diabetes going through the withdrawal.

 

Does anyone know about this and does the problem go away once your body is healed again?

 

This is just so insane.

 

Thanks

 

BC....I would ask for a referral for an endocrinology consult.. If your diet is goid and your weight is  not wildly off the charts, something doesn't seem right. Your thoughts about constant increase in adrenalin makes sense to me, but I don't have a clue....good on you for paying attention to your nutrition.....cooperten

[[dr...]]

Bc-I came back prediabetes and am just mildly overweight(15-20pds).  I exercise and also eat super clean.  That prediabetes diagnosis using AC1 is a crock of shit.  The ADA along with drug companies recently lowered their threshold on the number now to include 1/3 of Americans. This number now makes 1/2 of China prediabetic.  If you notice, there are a lot of new commercials to treat high blood sugar and "prediabetes".  The WHO came out against the new measuring guidelines.  The same thing happened w cholesterol.  They lowered what is "normal" from 140 to 100.  What a racket.

 

All that being said...if you are showing diabetic numbers on the glucose and aci(I believe over 7) then I would get a second opinion. I am getting my numbers tested again at the end of the month and I'm sure they'll be better.  Last time I was getting hit w cortisol surges several times a day. 

 

Good luck!

[[dr...]]

Green-depending where you are located unison and Benadryl can be different drugs  In the U.S. Unison is Doxylamine and Benadryl is diphenhydramine.  Almost every variant of PM pill will contain one of these two antihistamines.  I find a 1/2 of unison containg Doxy every now and then has very little after effects.  The Benadryl I feel a bit more. 

A 1/2 of unison here in the U.S. Is 12.5 doxy and it knocks me out. Some extra strength contain 50mg. I can't imagine that. 

Try each one and see which you seem to like better.  Hope this helps.

[[be...]]

Beulah,.. wow...so sorry about all the rain going on where you live.. .did your garden survive?...

...Thank you for telling me a little more about reflux or GERD.  I thought it would just heal and go away.  It has totally engaged my health anxiety, but I am working on all my self talk. Do you have days in which you feel really sick with it.  nausea, upper belly pain, no appetite.  ?.  I had hot milk and honey this morning but it made me sick and I just want to stay in bed today.  This is not looking like a good day today.  Hoping it will turn around.....yes...mashed potatoes and yogurt.  even the thought of those makes me nauseous

.....Beulah.  An Ark.  And an Island Healing Abbey?  You are a busy woman..  coop

 

No Coop, our garden is gone. We planted our garden at our daughters house and it is all lost...such a shame. :'(

I feel so sorry for so many people around here..some of them have lost so much.

My lavender that I planted beside the patio is gone, but it is nothing compared to other people's loss.

 

Yes Coop, a lot of my symptoms worsen with the reflux. So many foods have a lot of acid and trigger the reflux, nausea, upper belly pain, no appetite are all symptoms that I suffer with, but I don't know how much of it is withdrawal or true reflux or both..so hard to tell.

I can tell you it wasn't this bad till withdrawal..it's much worse. I take zantac a couple of days a week and it has really helped keep it in check.

 

The foods that I really have to avoid are coffee, chocolate..peppers, onions, citrus fruit and juices, soda, citric acid, tomatoes, and sometimes garlic..these are my big triggers.

Also after you eat try not to lay down for at least an hour after.

So much acid in foods that I never dreamed of  having, salmon has more acid than some soda, I use to eat a lot of it...still do..just in moderation.

I've learned that when the gut is happy all my symptoms are lower.

 

Yes, yogurt and mashed potatoes for now, we will venture out at a later date.