12-18 month support

[[be...]]

I am heading over to Beulah's ... if you have mushrooms I can make mushroom and onion and cheese soup ... a great low and slow meal ... 

 

Yes Nova, come on over, I have plenty of mushrooms growing in my yard, but I don't think they're edible, just nasty ones from the rain.

I will hop on down to the store and get some if you're coming for dinner though.

What time should I send my private plane for you? Maybe you could stop along the way and pick the others up, I'm sure they would love to join us.

I'm gonna put out some extra cots and we can all have a slumber party.

Friday night mushroom soup party..oh yeah.

 

.....Wouldnt that be wonderful.  ..

 

Yes Coop, that would be wonderful, I would love it!!!! If I had the money I would fly you all in.

A warm island and mushroom soup, lavender iced tea, we can dream..ahhh.

[[Co...]]

Hi Coop ... how are you doing? ... I have had medium sort of day ... rained all afternoon ... sitting here waiting for Beulah's plane ... 

 

....Hey Nova.  just packing my bag and doing a bunch of deep breathing for my flight phobia.  Sounds like a great time ...

....I had a pretty decent window for most of the morning...dimmed down this afternoon with d/r , cog fog, and moderate anxiety....holding my own....this reflux diet is pretty boring....mashed potatoes .  yogurt.  applesauce ...The mushroom dish you described sounds lovely..

...I got the dog out several times.  Puttered around my place, helped my daughter with some projects...I can feel the anxiety trying to land on me....figure if I keep moving it won't be able to find a landing pad.. 

  .How are you doing Nova.. I hope your day has been a good one.. ..coop

 

[[No...]]

Coop ... 730 PM here ... trying to stay awake ... otherwise I will be up at 3 AM again ... kind of a boring day ... not much relish for anything today ... so maybe that is kind of normal ... who knows ...

 

Another day in the books ... 

[[Co...]]

I am heading over to Beulah's ... if you have mushrooms I can make mushroom and onion and cheese soup ... a great low and slow meal ... 

 

Yes Nova, come on over, I have plenty of mushrooms growing in my yard, but I don't think they're edible, just nasty ones from the rain.

I will hop on down to the store and get some if you're coming for dinner though.

What time should I send my private plane for you? Maybe you could stop along the way and pick the others up, I'm sure they would love to join us.

I'm gonna put out some extra cots and we can all have a slumber party.

Friday night mushroom soup party..oh yeah.

 

.....Wouldnt that be wonderful.  ..

 

Yes Coop, that would be wonderful, I would love it!!!! If I had the money I would fly you all in.

A warm island and mushroom soup, lavender iced tea, we can dream..ahhh.

 

.....Beulah.. it would be such a sweetness to meet all of us in the real.  Yes, Beulah's Island Healing Abbey and Nova's mushroom soup...perfect .....How has your day unfolded?...I am low and slow this afternoon with a less sunny window, but still not too bad...I found a new lavender tea....Yogi Honey and Lavender tea..it's very good with vanilla in it too....has a bundle of relaxing herbs.. lemon balm, chamomille...I brewed it weak until I tested it out...smells nice...I don't know if it had any impact on my circling anxiety or not, but it's very comforting just the way it smells.  Thinking of you Beulah.  ..coop

[[Co...]]

Coop ... 730 PM here ... trying to stay awake ... otherwise I will be up at 3 AM again ... kind of a boring day ... not much relish for anything today ... so maybe that is kind of normal ... who knows ...

 

Another day in the books ... 

.....Yep.  here too...a little more "relish" this morning. I kind of notice a bit of a pattern....a somewhat blah day that follows a goid window day.  I have been waking up at 4am these days..but not with all the adrenalin rush and dread of earlier months..  I have to say, with all the talk of mushroom soup...I am really craving it now..  See you at Beulah's.....coop

[[No...]]

Coop ... with the tea ... the aroma may help just as much as drinking it ... does for me sometimes ...

 

To heck with it ... I am shutting down for the night ... talk tomorrow ... have a good evening ... 

[[Co...]]

Coop ... with the tea ... the aroma may help just as much as drinking it ... does for me sometimes ...

 

To heck with it ... I am shutting down for the night ... talk tomorrow ... have a good evening ... 

 

....Rest well friend....

[[ON...]]

Please please please tell me it's completely normal to be in absolute acute hell for 3 months from months 14 to current almost 17. I've never questioned medication intervention more than I have lately. I am a ton worse than last year. I'm 123 pound 5'9" male. Am I alone? Is this possible? Will I heal? Do I need to reinstate?

[[Gr...]]

Green and Korbe....really sorry to hear that you guys are not sleeping  that makes everything more difficult.....I don't know how you  manage to get through the day. Green, I am waking up at about the time you are settling in for a little sleep.  Too early for me....too late for you. 

....hoping you both get some extra rest in during the day today.  Low and slow ...coop

 

Coop, waking up at 4:30 is like waking up in the middle of the night! Sounds like our clocks are way, way off.

 

I bought some ZZZQuil and Unisom. Haven't opened them.  Worried about a bad reaction.  but I'm desperate.  Has anyone had a problem taking these?  I remember just reading Drew took one and slept.

[[Gr...]]

I am hearing a lot of healing on this thread which makes me very happy, it seemed for a while there we were all suffering quite a bit with no end in site. For me I think the 15 - 20 months were by far my worst, lots of waves and I did not see any healing. Funny how we all seem to be somewhat on the same healing course.

 

[move][/HAPPY 21ST ANNIVERSARY, JENNY! move]

[[Gr...]]

Hi Jenny ... things seem to be settling out for some of us ... about time too ... 

 

I was "thinking" on a walk this morning ... that back when I did not have a lot of expectation the rough times didn't feel quite so rough ... and when my expectations started to rise a few months ago the rough times felt very dis6couraging ...

 

Hope you have a good weekend ... 

 

....Nova....that is exactly what I think too. In tapering and acute I just expected to feel miserable every day.. and I did for the most part and knew that it was all w/d.  Around the one year mark I started hoping for more healing and had a few windows.  and was sick of feeling so bad.  And accepting it all started wearing very thin. 

....My daughter's wedding is the last weekend of July..  coming right up. I wish she was a little older.  She is only 22.  But we can't live thier lives for them.. so I support her and feel so lucky that she wants me to be involved with all the horahrah. ....I was a hippie girl when I got married.. threw some flowers in my hair.  grabbed my favorite dress.. ran down to the beach with some friends and the pastor .  also of the hippie type ... and got married.  We had a great party ...and that was it. ..

  Glad to hear you got out on your walk this morning.  Wishing you good things to eat and big sunbreaks....coop

 

I love thinking about you on a beach with flowers in your hair, getting married, hippie girl   Such a lovely visual.

[[Gr...]]

Please excuse my butting in on this thread, but do not know where to go to find info about one particular sx that started around 13th-14th month, but now at month 18, is becoming more regular.

 

It's a physical craving (preferably something sweet) - But for what am not sure as eating doesn't make any difference, as the body is craving something but no idea what - recent bloods taken  all came back normal.Not sure what to do next to try to get relief.

 

Has anyone had this or can shed any light on it's cause please.

 

.....Hi R..  you are not crashing in....everyone is welcome here. I have had cravings too, but then an aversion to eating anything at all...at the same time...very wierd...my body would want to eat but my mind would want to gag. ...If I thought about something goid to eat and then look at it.. I couldnt eat it. This went on for a few months and I still get bouts,of it. I am at 19.5 months now...so for me, it comes and goes. I don't know if this is what you are describing or not, but maybe similar anyway.  .I hope you find what it is that your body wants

.....I hope you are doing well and getting some breaks.. cooperten

 

R, my sugar cravings I believe were related to the fatigue.  The more fatigued I was, all I wanted was sugar.  I've had that since the beginning.  It's fading away now.  I naturally started wanting fruits and grains and yogurt.  It just happened.

[[Gr...]]

Please excuse my butting in on this thread, but do not know where to go to find info about one particular sx that started around 13th-14th month, but now at month 18, is becoming more regular.

 

It's a physical craving (preferably something sweet) - But for what am not sure as eating doesn't make any difference, as the body is craving something but no idea what - recent bloods taken  all came back normal.Not sure what to do next to try to get relief.

 

Has anyone had this or can shed any light on it's cause please.

 

I have had the weirdest food cravings through this whole process. I have eaten kraut for breakfast before, I haved craved sweet, sour and salty food...still not satisfied. I know exactly what you're talking about. I eat what I crave and then just let the brain do what it has to do.

I go to the grocery store and see all of the food that I once loved and now looking at them sometimes repulsed me.

No doubt this has something to do with withdrawal. My appetite is all over the place, just up and down .

I'm sure this will settle down when you get further out. I'm starting to get my appetite back..was getting so tired of smoothies.

I seem to be eating a lot of mashed potatoes lately.

 

Sometimes I crave sugar, usually when I'm tired.  I crave salt I think when my BP is low, or when I have the POTS.  I get very distinct cravings, too.

[[Fi...]]

Oneday-Unfortunately--or fortunately, depending on how you look at it-- it seems like being really bad in months 14-17 is not that uncommon among BB members.  I hit a real bad place at 14 months.  I think you've put in way too much healing time to consider reinstating or taking something else.  The fastest way to feel better (IMO) is just to stay the course and let your brain do its healing naturally.  And yes, I  do believe you will heal.  I was bad during the months you mention and now, approaching 22 months, I'm well!

[[Gr...]]

Hi Coop ... how are you doing? ... I have had medium sort of day ... rained all afternoon ... sitting here waiting for Beulah's plane ... 

 

....Hey Nova.  just packing my bag and doing a bunch of deep breathing for my flight phobia.  Sounds like a great time ...

....I had a pretty decent window for most of the morning...dimmed down this afternoon with d/r , cog fog, and moderate anxiety....holding my own....this reflux diet is pretty boring....mashed potatoes .  yogurt.  applesauce ...The mushroom dish you described sounds lovely..

...I got the dog out several times.  Puttered around my place, helped my daughter with some projects...I can feel the anxiety trying to land on me....figure if I keep moving it won't be able to find a landing pad.. 

  .How are you doing Nova.. I hope your day has been a good one.. ..coop

 

Coop, I had a worse day with anxiety trying to land yesterday.  I was waiting for it to take off.  It didn't though, just a long day of pausing and waiting for the mild panic to break, usually I get really warm, and sometimes body breaks into a sweat. 

Today I had more issues early in the day around not sleeping a wink. I said an hour, but it was hover sleep, not real sleep.

 

Still, I feel the healing, but the symptoms seem to be still keeping us pretty busy.

 

I like what Jenny said, things settling down after 18-20.  I remember Lostdog said the same thing.

[[be...]]

I am hearing a lot of healing on this thread which makes me very happy, it seemed for a while there we were all suffering quite a bit with no end in site. For me I think the 15 - 20 months were by far my worst, lots of waves and I did not see any healing. Funny how we all seem to be somewhat on the same healing course.

 

[move][/HAPPY 21ST ANNIVERSARY, JENNY! move]

 

Happy 21st Jenny.

[[be...]]

Coop, the honey lavender tea sounds so good and soothing.  My, your days sound busy with all of the wedding planning, I'm sure it's a nice distraction away from your symptoms.

Love that your daughter is asking for your help with the plans. The baby breath and candles sound so romantic.

I helped my daughter with her wedding and it was exhausting. My wedding gift to her was the food, everything Italian, right down to the gelato...it was so much fun.

You are probably tuckered now, get some rest, sweet wedding dreams.

Another day under our belts.

[[Co...]]

Green and Korbe....really sorry to hear that you guys are not sleeping  that makes everything more difficult.....I don't know how you  manage to get through the day. Green, I am waking up at about the time you are settling in for a little sleep.  Too early for me....too late for you. 

....hoping you both get some extra rest in during the day today.  Low and slow ...coop

 

Coop, waking up at 4:30 is like waking up in the middle of the night! Sounds like our clocks are way, way off.

 

I bought some ZZZQuil and Unisom. Haven't opened them.  Worried about a bad reaction.  but I'm desperate.  Has anyone had a problem taking these?  I remember just reading Drew took one and slept.

 

.....Green...I think I took unison in college...a bazillion years ago. I think it is fairly mild.. I think I woke up , the times I took it, feeling a little hung over and the sleep didn't feel natural, but at some point you have to sleep. I think using it from time to time is ok. For ne, the goal has always,been to be off benzos....not every other medication. I have used benedryl from time to time in w/d for anxiety....I think you have to do what you have to do..  Not sleeping wrecks a person. I would go with the one that you have the most dosing control over. Is one of them liquid?.  That would be easier to take half dose until you know how it effects you.  Hope you get some sleep. 

[[Co...]]

Wow...I logged on and there's pages of posts I haven't read...catching up. 

[[Co...]]

Hi Jenny ... things seem to be settling out for some of us ... about time too ... 

 

I was "thinking" on a walk this morning ... that back when I did not have a lot of expectation the rough times didn't feel quite so rough ... and when my expectations started to rise a few months ago the rough times felt very dis6couraging ...

 

Hope you have a good weekend ... 

 

....Nova....that is exactly what I think too. In tapering and acute I just expected to feel miserable every day.. and I did for the most part and knew that it was all w/d.  Around the one year mark I started hoping for more healing and had a few windows.  and was sick of feeling so bad.  And accepting it all started wearing very thin. 

....My daughter's wedding is the last weekend of July..  coming right up. I wish she was a little older.  She is only 22.  But we can't live thier lives for them.. so I support her and feel so lucky that she wants me to be involved with all the horahrah. ....I was a hippie girl when I got married.. threw some flowers in my hair.  grabbed my favorite dress.. ran down to the beach with some friends and the pastor .  also of the hippie type ... and got married.  We had a great party ...and that was it. ..

  Glad to hear you got out on your walk this morning.  Wishing you good things to eat and big sunbreaks....coop

 

I love thinking about you on a beach with flowers in your hair, getting married, hippie girl   Such a lovely visual.

 

....Things were so much simpler way back then...It was fun...We planned for exactly 2 days...long enough to get the license I think...

[[Co...]]

Hi Coop ... how are you doing? ... I have had medium sort of day ... rained all afternoon ... sitting here waiting for Beulah's plane ... 

 

....Hey Nova.  just packing my bag and doing a bunch of deep breathing for my flight phobia.  Sounds like a great time ...

....I had a pretty decent window for most of the morning...dimmed down this afternoon with d/r , cog fog, and moderate anxiety....holding my own....this reflux diet is pretty boring....mashed potatoes .  yogurt.  applesauce ...The mushroom dish you described sounds lovely..

...I got the dog out several times.  Puttered around my place, helped my daughter with some projects...I can feel the anxiety trying to land on me....figure if I keep moving it won't be able to find a landing pad.. 

  .How are you doing Nova.. I hope your day has been a good one.. ..coop

 

Coop, I had a worse day with anxiety trying to land yesterday.  I was waiting for it to take off.  It didn't though, just a long day of pausing and waiting for the mild panic to break, usually I get really warm, and sometimes body breaks into a sweat. 

Today I had more issues early in the day around not sleeping a wink. I said an hour, but it was hover sleep, not real sleep.

 

Still, I feel the healing, but the symptoms seem to be still keeping us pretty busy.

 

I like what Jenny said, things settling down after 18-20.  I remember Lostdog said the same thing.

 

.....Green, that's exactly where my anxiety had been since afternoon...just hovering....waiting to jump me when I am not looking. Totally low and slow this afternoon ...I agree , I have a real sense of healing underneath the mild benzo flu and d/r. Yep, I hang on to HH's story and Eli's and LostDog's and Galea has a good one. FJ's is informative too....I am having more frequent sunbreaks and seem to be trading off one good day for one not so good day...I just want to be done with all of it...

...Green, I am wishing you some damn sleep...coop

[[Co...]]

6

Coop, the honey lavender tea sounds so good and soothing.  My, your days sound busy with all of the wedding planning, I'm sure it's a nice distraction away from your symptoms.

Love that your daughter is asking for your help with the plans. The baby breath and candles sound so romantic.

I helped my daughter with her wedding and it was exhausting. My wedding gift to her was the food, everything Italian, right down to the gelato...it was so much fun.

You are probably tuckered now, get some rest, sweet wedding dreams.

Another day under our belts.

 

Hi Beulah....Got the Island Healing Abbey ready?.....Yes I am getting tired but my daughter is starting to unravel...the wedding  is about 5 weeks away and she is stressed.. Wow...Italian wedding food...including gelato....Beulah, what a wonderful gift..I love everything Italian...I think I should have been born Italian...I love spaghetti with clam sauce...and wine...and here I am with mashed potatoes and reflux...

....Have a peaceful night Beulah...have some gelato....coop

[[Ko...]]

Hi Green,

 

Sorry you didn't sleep.  I didn't sleep in the night even though I started at 11:30pm. I finally fell asleep at 9 am.  Problem is I wake up every 2 hrs. So I woke at 11am and walked the dog, then read the newspaper on my iPad. I fell asleep sitting up so I went back to sleep 12:30 to 2:30. Then up again for an hour and back to sleep 3:30 to 5:30.  Crazy schedule, but at least I slept.  I think the stinging in my legs eased up so that's why I was able to sleep.

 

I've tried Unisom and Benadryl nether work for me because I have a paradoxal reaction to them which causes anxiety. Unisom has a similiar drug that Benadryl has but stronger.  It works well for a lot of people.  Tylenol PM OR Advil PM contain the exact drug that used in Benadryl but a higher dose.

Benadryl has 25 mg, but the PM drugs gave 38 mg.

 

It's worth a try to try the  Unisom. What's the worse that can happen? You won't sleep, but maybe you will.  Hope it works for you.

Korbe

[[Co...]]

Green and Korbe...make room on the couch....joining you in the 'I can't sleep' up at night gang.  Slept from 11p to 3a.  Now I am wide awake.  Me and some movie I can't concentrate on...hope we can all get a few more hours. ..I was sleeping until 6/7 until this month.  .  Even I don't want to get up at 4/5 let alone 3.  Trying all my strategies...music, movie, 4,7,8 breathing.    Well,... see you all later in the day.  We need Beulah's Tropical Island Healing Abbey and something soothing from Nova's kitchen....coop

[[...]]

Hi all,  another day in paradise as Nova says 

Well I will start on a positive.....  managed to get some sleep!  Woke up to vibrations, breathing issues, fatigue, fog and fear. Ive noticed that my hearing is super sensitive recently, I feel like I need ear plugs. Last night my daughter and I put face masks on each other, she knew I was struggling as my mother is taking my wd personally again. When I am wavy I simply cannot speak to her on the phone; its like torture. So naturally I avoid this. Shes been questioning my daughter on the fact I can speak to the bristol tranquilizer people,  who are wonderful,  but not her. This is so hard and I cannot try to explain to her any more. Even my daughter is irritated by her selfishness. I wish I could just let it go. I'm going to be on trend and go low and slow. I have food shopping to do,  but Ive done it before so there is nothing to fear. Honestly, I never expected to be still like this at 14 1/2 months. I dont now how you all have coped so long, you deserve medals.

Just wondering,  I take a concentrated curcumin (tumeric) for inflammation pain, especially in the neck, shoulder and upper back. This does help but Ive had to take ibuprofen recently. Should this be ok to take if needed?

 

I hope no one minds me venting as without all your support, this at times feels impossible.  The healing island?  Yes please