12-18 month support

[[Gr...]]

Green ... I am going to sue ... no pun intended ... can't get "rawhide" out of my head ... 

 

Glad you are feeling chipper ... I am doing "okay" ... running about a 4 on the "benzo-richter" scale ...

 

OMG, Nova, I'm laughing out loud!  I don't get many belly laughs, and when I do, they're always on the thread, benzo withdrawal humor.  First I felt so bad, I thought, oh, no, how could I do that, how could I put an intrusive song lyric in Nova's head!  and then I just started LMAO.  and I had to read "I had to sue" three times to figure out the pun!

 

 

Chipper, yes, maybe.  A little tired, but I don't feel burdened, I feel chipper in my heart 

 

I can just see you getting a legal consult.  I want to be a fly on the wall when you try to explain your damages!

I'm glad for you, 4 on the richter scale, I think that's pretty good.  I think it's as good as we're going to get before real healing.  4 is a window around here, dude!

[[Gr...]]

Sesame crusted seared ahi...

 

Drew, we're going to take this thread to a cooking reality show, and you're going to be our Top Chef!

[[Gr...]]

Green ... I am going to sue ... no pun intended ... can't get "rawhide" out of my head ... 

 

Glad you are feeling chipper ... I am doing "okay" ... running about a 4 on the "benzo-richter" scale ...

 

Ah, the scary days of music looping  in our heads are still with us, I see. 

 

THe worst is when it happens with a really good  song !

 

I think Rawhide is a very good song! 

[[Co...]]

Drew. Same here....30-40 minute 'high alert' statements from my body.  Tight painful back. ribs, and upper chest....and the 'cough cough..I can't breathe'.. anxiety ramps it up a notch...it's a bad feeling.. but only a feeling.  The wave within the wave....I had a pretty calm day from 8-3...a nice long sunbreak...then I ate a regular lunch...salmon and roasted potatoes...boom....chemical anxiety and near panic.. panic lifted and anxiety hung on for a couple of hours.  Things are leveling out... It's doable....but it's so hard.. Are we there yet?

....Drew...I hope things have settled for you...onward....coop

[[Gr...]]

Finally got the rain we so desperately needed, Nova.  We're both part of the same NEast system it appears.  My eyes and throat haven't felt irritated since Saturday.  Very happy about the pollen being driven into the ground.  The negative is, felt pretty depressed today being stuck inside watching movies and doing housework.  I can't stand being inside.  One more day of boredom/rain tomorrow it looks like.  Can't wait to start walking again Wednesday and doing yard stuff.  Did about 15 miles last week, lost 7 pounds.  Eight more to go till I reach my 205 summer goal.  (that's the number that means all my summertime gear will fit, haha)

 

Besides that stale jib-jab not a whole lot to report.  Just sorta checking in and letting you know I still lurk here in silence almost everyday.  For the last week or more I've been dealing with two or three things.  1. Head to toe muscle aches that come and go whenever they want.  (taking walks makes the tension pain go away within 10 minutes)  2. Some anxiety.  3.  A really depressing faux baseline (I guess you could call it)  that seems to hover around 55%.....which at this point is very taxing mentally.

 

On a positive note, the chest tightness and golf ball in my throat feeling is gone.  No sensation makes me feel more uneasy than hampered breathing and swallowing.

 

I guess that's it.  I'll be lurking if you need me.  Everyone, please have a good night of great uninterrupted sleep, that's my wish for you all.

 

Mike, exactly what I've got. The mad wave went away, but my baseline is very low.  Only no depression.

I just don't get functional windows.  I know now this is probably normal for year two, but it's still very, very frustrating.  I mean I'm grateful to take a walk, and the aches and stiffness loosen up after a while.

And why did we gain weight?  What's up with that?

 

Feel better.  Good to hear from you.

[[No...]]

Drew ... I think I know what you mean ... I call them the "dreadies" ... almost like an anticipatory something or other ... and they usually pass within the hour ...

[[Gr...]]

Hi all...my day was okay.  I'm feeling a bit wonky right now and it should pass soon. I'm getting just weird feelings. Not so much fear/panic but just off in the brain and trouble breathing.ahhh...just able to pinpoint it.  It's like a feeling of foreboding of something terrible.  It's one of those 30-40 minutes waves within my big wave. It hits and it's terrible.  As quick as it comes on it leaves. Wtf is this? The ebb and flow of symptoms each day. . I'm depressed about this tonight. I feel like I won't heal from this...like I'm stuck...I'm also angry right now with all the dr.s who deny this and make us pretend everything is alright.  Having to hide how truly bad I feel a lot of the time. Okay...I'm done venting.    Just so tired of this.

 

Drew, you're in a wave, and you're cycling.  Just breathe, try to calm your thoughts.  It will pass.  And you don't have to hide how you feel from everyone.  You can bring it here. 

 

[[No...]]

Mike ... been raining her since Sunday afternoon ... and rain tomorrow ... suppose to clear out here Tuesday night ... and we need this rain ...

 

Good to hear you are doing okay ...

[[No...]]

Hi Folks ... tried to shut down and couldn't ... the head pressure was too irritating ... so I am up and about ... 

[[No...]]

Green ... you sound pretty good ... I will let you know when the legal consult takes place ... 

[[Co...]]

Mike...Happy to see you here tonight....yep, better but not better enough...how can we see some sx fall off and still have dismal baselines?  Yesterday my baseline was up there a little ways..maybe 75%. ..today.  50%...with most of the day without sx but no motivation to do anything It just is what it is until it isnt.  Another day in the books.. We are making our way ..  coop

[[dr...]]

Drew ... I think I know what you mean ... I call them the "dreadies" ... almost like an anticipatory something or other ... and they usually pass within the hour ...

 

Omg!  You guys n gals are all wonderful. The dreadies!  Nova-this puts my mind at ease. I was so worried that I was losing it   I get so many "what ifs" passing through my brain at such a fast pace I couldn't put my finger on the feeling. I told my therapist dark thoughts but their not. It's a very OCD/looping feeling in not used to but seems to be visiting me more and more in late afternoon.

 

Thx green and coop

[[Co...]]

Drew, I feel like this is my only remaining troublesome sx.  But it is more overwhelming than all the rest put together. Mine is always triggered and driven by a body sx.  0-60 with the racing "what ifs that you describe. Today I have been able to catch them before I go over the cliff and run to er.  .....The panicky part only lasts 15-45 minutes.. it's the hours of anxiety and catastrohising that take every strategy I know to walk them back....I am getting better at it though.  As you say , " this is normal for how my healing is right now".. ..If the "I can't breathe'  thing would disappear  I would be out of this wave.  ..It's miserable, but we are still here all in one piece in spite of what benzo tries to scare us into believing

....Hope you are past it now.  I am also getting them more at evening...more when I am trying to settle for bed.  ...This is a tough one, but we are going to be done with it.  ..coop

[[dr...]]

Coop I'm doing much better. Thank you for your thoughts. When those thoughts hit its like a switch goes off in my brain and the looping thoughts start. I also get physical sensations in my body like the trouble breathing.  Wonder what the heck is going on. Im just glad nova nailed it for me so I can get some coping strategies that we may not know from my therapist. I see him Wednesday and will report back for you and nova. Speaking of that dog....I hope he's sleeping. I'm off to bed. 

[[Gr...]]

Hi.  I was messing around on the computer and just randomly googled Xanax, side effects.  This is looks about right.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Xanax Side Effects

 

Generic Name: alprazolam

 

Note: This page contains side effects data for the generic drug alprazolam. It is possible that some of the dosage forms included below may not apply to the brand name Xanax.

 

Advertisement

 

 

 

It is possible that some side effects of Xanax may not have been reported. These can be reported to the FDA here. Always consult a healthcare professional for medical advice.

 

For the Consumer

 

Applies to alprazolam: oral solution, oral tablet, oral tablet disintegrating, oral tablet extended release

 

As well as its needed effects, alprazolam (the active ingredient contained in Xanax) may cause unwanted side effects that require medical attention.

 

If any of the following side effects occur while taking alprazolam, check with your doctor immediately:

More common:

 

•Being forgetful

•changes in patterns and rhythms of speech

•clumsiness or unsteadiness

•difficulty with coordination

•discouragement

•drowsiness

•feeling sad or empty

•irritability

•lack of appetite

•lightheadedness

•loss of interest or pleasure

•relaxed and calm

•shakiness and unsteady walk

•sleepiness or unusual drowsiness

•slurred speech

•tiredness

•trouble concentrating

•trouble in speaking

•trouble performing routine tasks

•trouble sleeping

•unsteadiness, trembling, or other problems with muscle control or coordination

•unusual tiredness or weakness

Less common •Abdominal or stomach pain

•blurred vision

•body aches or pain

•burning, crawling, itching, numbness, prickling, "pins and needles, or tingling feelings

•changes in behavior

•chills

•clay-colored stools

•confusion about identity, place, and time

•cough

•dark urine

•decrease in frequency of urination

•decrease in urine volume

•diarrhea

•difficult or labored breathing

•difficulty in moving

•difficulty in passing urine (dribbling)

•difficulty with concentration

•dizziness, faintness, or lightheadedness when getting up from a lying or sitting position suddenly

•dry mouth

•ear congestion

•environment seems unreal

•fainting

•fear or nervousness

•feeling of unreality

•feeling warm

•fever

•general feeling of discomfort or illness

•headache

•hyperventilation

•inability to move eyes

•inability to sit still

•increased blinking or spasms of the eyelid

•irregular heartbeats

•itching

•joint pain

•lack or loss of self-control

•loss of bladder control

•loss of coordination

•loss of memory

•loss of voice

•mood or mental changes

•muscle aching or cramping

•muscle pain or stiffness

•muscle weakness

•nasal congestion

•nausea

•need to keep moving

•painful urination

•problems with memory

•rash

•restlessness

•runny nose

•seeing, hearing, or feeling things that are not there

•seizures

•sense of detachment from self or body

•shaking

•shivering

•shortness of breath

•sneezing

•sore throat

•sticking out of the tongue

•sweating

•swollen joints

•talkativeness

•tightness in the chest

•trouble in breathing, speaking, or swallowing

•trouble with balance

•twitching, twisting, or uncontrolled repetitive movements of the tongue, lips, face, arms, or legs

•uncontrolled twisting movements of the neck, trunk, arms, or legs

•unpleasant breath odor

•unusual drowsiness, dullness, tiredness, weakness, or feeling of sluggishness

•unusual facial expressions

•unusually deep sleep

•unusually long duration of sleep

•vomiting of blood

•wheezing

•yellow eyes or skin

Rare •Actions that are out of control

•attack, assault, or force

•chest pain

•continuing ringing or buzzing or other unexplained noise in ears

•decreased awareness or responsiveness

•deep or fast breathing with dizziness

•ear pain

•false or unusual sense of well-being

•fast, irregular, pounding, or racing heartbeat or pulse

•feeling jittery

•feeling unusually cold

•generalized slowing of mental and physical activity

•hearing loss

•hoarseness

•lack of feeling or emotion

•loss of control of the legs

•loss of strength or energy

•nightmares

•numbness of the feet, hands, and around mouth

•severe sleepiness

•shakiness in the legs, arms, hands, or feet

•sleep talking

•sleeplessness

•swelling

•talking, feeling, and acting with excitement

•thoughts of killing oneself

•unable to sleep

•uncaring

•unusual weak feeling

•voice changes

Incidence not known •General tiredness and weakness

•light-colored stools

•stomach pain, continuing

•upper right abdominal pain

 

Some alprazolam side effects may not need any medical attention. As your body gets used to the medicine these side effects may disappear. Your health care professional may be able to help you prevent or reduce these side effects, but do check with them if any of the following side effects continue, or if you are concerned about them:

More common

 

•Absent, missed, or irregular menstrual periods

•decreased appetite

•decreased interest in sexual intercourse

•decreased sexual performance or desire abnormal ejaculation

•difficulty having a bowel movement (stool)

•inability to have or keep an erection

•increased appetite

•increased in sexual ability, desire, drive, or performance

•increased interest in sexual intercourse

•increased weight

•loss in sexual ability, desire, drive, or performance

•stopping of menstrual bleeding

•watering of mouth

•weight loss

 

Less common

•Abdominal bloating and cramping

•blistering, crusting, irritation, itching, or reddening of the skin

•change in taste bad unusual or unpleasant (after) taste

•cracked, dry, or scaly skin

•cramps

•double vision

•feeling of warmth

•heavy bleeding

•menstrual changes

•pain

•pelvic pain

•redness of the face, neck, arms, and occasionally, upper chest

•seeing double

•sudden sweating

•unexplained runny nose or sneezing

Rare •Acid or sour stomach

•belching

•bigger, dilated, or enlarged pupils (black part of eye)

•change in color vision

•difficulty seeing at night

•feeling of constant movement of self or surroundings

•feeling of relaxation

•heartburn

•hives or welts

•increased sensitivity of eyes to sunlight

•indigestion

•redness of skin

•runny nose

•sensation of spinning

•stomach discomfort, upset, or pain

•stuffy nose

Incidence not known •Blistering, peeling, or loosening of the skin

•red, irritated eyes

•red skin lesions, often with a purple center

•sores, ulcers, or white spots in the mouth or on the lips

•swelling of the breasts or breast soreness in both females and males

•unexpected or excess milk flow from breasts

 

Seems like a pretty comprehensive list, lol.  I don't ever remember reading anything like this on the CVS prescription insert.  Nothing like this.

 

 

 

 

 

[[Gr...]]

Green ... you sound pretty good ... I will let you know when the legal consult takes place ... 

 

Nova, I will totally countersue!  And I will call my buddies  as witnesses for the defense

 

 

[[dr...]]

If you consulted your dr on any of those symptoms listed above they'd tell you it was all in your head and prescribe lexapro. 

[[...]]

Hi all...my day was okay.  I'm feeling a bit wonky right now and it should pass soon. I'm getting just weird feelings. Not so much fear/panic but just off in the brain and trouble breathing.ahhh...just able to pinpoint it.  It's like a feeling of foreboding of something terrible.  It's one of those 30-40 minutes waves within my big wave. It hits and it's terrible.  As quick as it comes on it leaves. Wtf is this? The ebb and flow of symptoms each day. . I'm depressed about this tonight. I feel like I won't heal from this...like I'm stuck...I'm also angry right now with all the dr.s who deny this and make us pretend everything is alright.  Having to hide how truly bad I feel a lot of the time. Okay...I'm done venting.    Just so tired of this.

 

Drew, I could have written this today. I've been hit with fatigue also, this withdrawal thing is just exhausting. At work, can hardly concentrate, just trying to breathe and notice the birds singing outside. I'm hanging onto Greens words that it is a wave and will pass.

 

Thanks for the replies about the muscle tension, it really, really helps to be reminded that it is part of this. It's even in my face today - I feel like the tin man!

 

I think Ive mentioned Baylissa's Facebook page before, well there is a link to an article from Beyond Meds  called Emotional dysregulation in plasticity, where some expert (scientist and researcher) said ''those who have the most extreme reactions are actually the most likely to heal and transform. He said that the mere fact that we are so profoundly injured is proof of our highly neuroplastic brains. And while the healing process may sometimes be radical and even violent, that ultimately when we've healed, we've also transformed in profound ways. Indeed this is becoming my experience''.

 

Sorry if this is a bit vague as my brain is concete today.

 

Doesn't make it any easier, just reassuring that it is TEMPORARY. I even feel better typing those words - I must try to do some work

 

Keep going 

[[Co...]]

Green, wild list of benzo side effects...it is beyond belief that these drugs were ever approved .. and a crime that they are prescribed to use daily ..  Thanks for posting that list it's a great reminder that my physical sx are w/d.

....I am feeling better.. except for anxiety and health fear and mild morning funk things are improving. Having said that, the anxiety and health fears seem overwhelming and persistent. The mini panics and constant hum of anxiety is wearing, but I am beginning to think it might heal by month 24....

..... How are you this morning?.. I will be stepping into month 19 tomorrow...6 more months.. ..it's like the last mIle of a marathon...the worst...and then it's done...sending sunbreaks ....coop

[[Co...]]

Marj... muscle tension really hurts. You are so right, knowing that it is temporary doesn't make it hurt less. I find lavender Epsome salts hot bath soak really helps muscle pain and stiffness...it won't make it go away, but it will provide relief for awhile.... You sound really strong in your determination to see it through....you are going to see it to end....Wishing you relief...can you take ibuprofen?....coop

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... had another night of poor sleep and the vibrations thingie ... tried to get more sleep a while ago ... turned toxic ... got up and made cookies ...

 

What the hell ... if I can't get good sleep I can get good cookies ... 

[[Sk...]]

Green ... I am going to sue ... no pun intended ... can't get "rawhide" out of my head ... 

 

Glad you are feeling chipper ... I am doing "okay" ... running about a 4 on the "benzo-richter" scale ...

 

Ah, the scary days of music looping  in our heads are still with us, I see. 

 

THe worst is when it happens with a really good  song !

 

I think Rawhide is a very good song! 

 

Me too ! If it isn't looping in your head, it's even better. 

[[Sk...]]

Drew ... I think I know what you mean ... I call them the "dreadies" ... almost like an anticipatory something or other ... and they usually pass within the hour ...

 

Cute.

 

Anyway, then you are lucky, Nova. The dreadies, take me a day to go away. So, take joy from small blessings. 

[[Sk...]]

Drew ... I think I know what you mean ... I call them the "dreadies" ... almost like an anticipatory something or other ... and they usually pass within the hour ...

 

Omg!  You guys n gals are all wonderful. The dreadies!  Nova-this puts my mind at ease. I was so worried that I was losing it   I get so many "what ifs" passing through my brain at such a fast pace I couldn't put my finger on the feeling. I told my therapist dark thoughts but their not. It's a very OCD/looping feeling in not used to but seems to be visiting me more and more in late afternoon.

 

Thx green and coop

 

Drew, sounds like me. The worst for me, usually comes in the afternoon and evening. I don't know if it's connected with the brain being tired or what.

 

Sorry you felt alone in this, but it's really impossible to name and mention every single thing we are feeling. Just too many, right ? Some, I may have gotten used to ! 

I usually take my dark thoughts out on mr Sky and plague him. It's awful for him, he is exhausted. If I could write more, i would vent, but as it is, I just bother my Sky.

[[Sk...]]

Hi.  I was messing around on the computer and just randomly googled Xanax, side effects.  This is looks about right.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Xanax Side Effects

 

Generic Name: alprazolam

 

Note: This page contains side effects data for the generic drug alprazolam. It is possible that some of the dosage forms included below may not apply to the brand name Xanax.

 

Advertisement

 

 

 

It is possible that some side effects of Xanax may not have been reported. These can be reported to the FDA here. Always consult a healthcare professional for medical advice.

 

For the Consumer

 

Applies to alprazolam: oral solution, oral tablet, oral tablet disintegrating, oral tablet extended release

 

As well as its needed effects, alprazolam (the active ingredient contained in Xanax) may cause unwanted side effects that require medical attention.

 

If any of the following side effects occur while taking alprazolam, check with your doctor immediately:

More common:

 

•Being forgetful

•changes in patterns and rhythms of speech

•clumsiness or unsteadiness

•difficulty with coordination

•discouragement

•drowsiness

•feeling sad or empty

•irritability

•lack of appetite

•lightheadedness

•loss of interest or pleasure

•relaxed and calm

•shakiness and unsteady walk

•sleepiness or unusual drowsiness

•slurred speech

•tiredness

•trouble concentrating

•trouble in speaking

•trouble performing routine tasks

•trouble sleeping

•unsteadiness, trembling, or other problems with muscle control or coordination

•unusual tiredness or weakness

Less common •Abdominal or stomach pain

•blurred vision

•body aches or pain

•burning, crawling, itching, numbness, prickling, "pins and needles, or tingling feelings

•changes in behavior

•chills

•clay-colored stools

•confusion about identity, place, and time

•cough

•dark urine

•decrease in frequency of urination

•decrease in urine volume

•diarrhea

•difficult or labored breathing

•difficulty in moving

•difficulty in passing urine (dribbling)

•difficulty with concentration

•dizziness, faintness, or lightheadedness when getting up from a lying or sitting position suddenly

•dry mouth

•ear congestion

•environment seems unreal

•fainting

•fear or nervousness

•feeling of unreality

•feeling warm

•fever

•general feeling of discomfort or illness

•headache

•hyperventilation

•inability to move eyes

•inability to sit still

•increased blinking or spasms of the eyelid

•irregular heartbeats

•itching

•joint pain

•lack or loss of self-control

•loss of bladder control

•loss of coordination

•loss of memory

•loss of voice

•mood or mental changes

•muscle aching or cramping

•muscle pain or stiffness

•muscle weakness

•nasal congestion

•nausea

•need to keep moving

•painful urination

•problems with memory

•rash

•restlessness

•runny nose

•seeing, hearing, or feeling things that are not there

•seizures

•sense of detachment from self or body

•shaking

•shivering

•shortness of breath

•sneezing

•sore throat

•sticking out of the tongue

•sweating

•swollen joints

•talkativeness

•tightness in the chest

•trouble in breathing, speaking, or swallowing

•trouble with balance

•twitching, twisting, or uncontrolled repetitive movements of the tongue, lips, face, arms, or legs

•uncontrolled twisting movements of the neck, trunk, arms, or legs

•unpleasant breath odor

•unusual drowsiness, dullness, tiredness, weakness, or feeling of sluggishness

•unusual facial expressions

•unusually deep sleep

•unusually long duration of sleep

•vomiting of blood

•wheezing

•yellow eyes or skin

Rare •Actions that are out of control

•attack, assault, or force

•chest pain

•continuing ringing or buzzing or other unexplained noise in ears

•decreased awareness or responsiveness

•deep or fast breathing with dizziness

•ear pain

•false or unusual sense of well-being

•fast, irregular, pounding, or racing heartbeat or pulse

•feeling jittery

•feeling unusually cold

•generalized slowing of mental and physical activity

•hearing loss

•hoarseness

•lack of feeling or emotion

•loss of control of the legs

•loss of strength or energy

•nightmares

•numbness of the feet, hands, and around mouth

•severe sleepiness

•shakiness in the legs, arms, hands, or feet

•sleep talking

•sleeplessness

•swelling

•talking, feeling, and acting with excitement

•thoughts of killing oneself

•unable to sleep

•uncaring

•unusual weak feeling

•voice changes

Incidence not known •General tiredness and weakness

•light-colored stools

•stomach pain, continuing

•upper right abdominal pain

 

Some alprazolam side effects may not need any medical attention. As your body gets used to the medicine these side effects may disappear. Your health care professional may be able to help you prevent or reduce these side effects, but do check with them if any of the following side effects continue, or if you are concerned about them:

More common

 

•Absent, missed, or irregular menstrual periods

•decreased appetite

•decreased interest in sexual intercourse

•decreased sexual performance or desire abnormal ejaculation

•difficulty having a bowel movement (stool)

•inability to have or keep an erection

•increased appetite

•increased in sexual ability, desire, drive, or performance

•increased interest in sexual intercourse

•increased weight

•loss in sexual ability, desire, drive, or performance

•stopping of menstrual bleeding

•watering of mouth

•weight loss

 

Less common

•Abdominal bloating and cramping

•blistering, crusting, irritation, itching, or reddening of the skin

•change in taste bad unusual or unpleasant (after) taste

•cracked, dry, or scaly skin

•cramps

•double vision

•feeling of warmth

•heavy bleeding

•menstrual changes

•pain

•pelvic pain

•redness of the face, neck, arms, and occasionally, upper chest

•seeing double

•sudden sweating

•unexplained runny nose or sneezing

Rare •Acid or sour stomach

•belching

•bigger, dilated, or enlarged pupils (black part of eye)

•change in color vision

•difficulty seeing at night

•feeling of constant movement of self or surroundings

•feeling of relaxation

•heartburn

•hives or welts

•increased sensitivity of eyes to sunlight

•indigestion

•redness of skin

•runny nose

•sensation of spinning

•stomach discomfort, upset, or pain

•stuffy nose

Incidence not known •Blistering, peeling, or loosening of the skin

•red, irritated eyes

•red skin lesions, often with a purple center

•sores, ulcers, or white spots in the mouth or on the lips

•swelling of the breasts or breast soreness in both females and males

•unexpected or excess milk flow from breasts

 

Seems like a pretty comprehensive list, lol.  I don't ever remember reading anything like this on the CVS prescription insert.  Nothing like this.

 

Sue, sometimes I really hate this  lists. They are just legal  escapes for Big pharma. Do they actually convey the horror of what is going on ? As it is, docs do not believe us, but there it is, all written in black and white.

 

And docs say that wd can't last this long, but  how could it not ? How is one supposed to get out easily from a drug that does this to you ?