12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Good morning buddies,

..I was off for most of yesterday and don't have a hope of catching up on posts.

  DREW, .  sorry you are being jerked around by the head stuff and health fears again.. it is such a mean trick to get a stretch of decent days and then get hit.  I am hoping things are winding down for you today.

MARJ....Hope this is a better day for you today...it's a a hard trek, but you are making your way through it ...and you are a long ways out from acute.  You are going to have more good days...

....Some tough times on our little thread.. Better days are coming... thinking of everyone today....coop

 

[[be...]]

Good morning buddies,

..I was off for most of yesterday and don't have a hope of catching up on posts.

  DREW, .  sorry you are being jerked around by the head stuff and health fears again.. it is such a mean trick to get a stretch of decent days and then get hit.  I am hoping things are winding down for you today.

MARJ....Hope this is a better day for you today...it's a a hard trek, but you are making your way through it ...and you are a long ways out from acute.  You are going to have more good days...

....Some tough times on our little thread.. Better days are coming... thinking of everyone today....coop

 

Coop..how are you doing? Did you get the table painted?  Yes..better days are coming.

[[Co...]]

Just a a little update...

....I had a great day yesterday with my daughter. I had a lot of d/r and detachment in the morning which actually I welcomed as it muffled the anxiety and health fears. .....

...My daughter is getting g married in July and we spent the day doing wedding errands, having lunch, taking a little drive and visiting a friend for a few minutes. I had no anxiety ...or any yuk really.  Just had a nice time with my daughter. I felt so normal and so like my old self.. Wish it was healing, but I know it's not.

  ..This morning woke up to some yuk.. a little dread ...mild anxiety...the kind of yuk I can push through...I am so grateful for yesterday, but pissed that we have to be grateful for a handful of normal days in the span of 6 months or a year.  And there isn't really anything we can do except keep living each day the very best that we can...

....onward.....Wishing everyone sunbreaks today....coop

[[be...]]

Just a a little update...

....I had a great day yesterday with my daughter. I had a lot of d/r and detachment in the morning which actually I welcomed as it muffled the anxiety and health fears. .....

...My daughter is getting g married in July and we spent the day doing wedding errands, having lunch, taking a little drive and visiting a friend for a few minutes. I had no anxiety ...or any yuk really.  Just had a nice time with my daughter. I felt so normal and so like my old self.. Wish it was healing, but I know it's not.

  ..This morning woke up to some yuk.. a little dread ...mild anxiety...the kind of yuk I can push through...I am so grateful for yesterday, but pissed that we have to be grateful for a handful of normal days in the span of 6 months or a year.  And there isn't really anything we can do except keep living each day the very best that we can...

....onward.....Wishing everyone sunbreaks today....coop

Coop, I'm so happy that you had a wonderful day yesterday...but I'm a little confused as to why you think it's not healing...maybe I'm missing something..doesn't take much to confuse me.

You are so right..it's a shame we don't get more good days...just a handful here and there for all the suffering days we have put in...not fair.

Many more good days are ahead for us all. Wishing you many more good days.

[[Co...]]

Hi Beulah....lol...we didn't get the paint...We got completely side tracked with wedding errands...going out for the paint today.. .

...Today had that fog of yuk .. sx in the backgroung.  Things are trying to get my attention, but I am not listening.. Determined to live each day the best I can no matter what...I know that works relatively well until you hit a bad wave that sidelines you...until then my daughter needs me to help her with her wedding and I am going to be there for her . 

....How is your day lining up Beulah?.  I hope it's shaping up as a very good day... love to you... coop

[[Co...]]

Beulah, I think I don't trust it as healing is because I have beentricked too many times.  A string of good days followed by slamming waves. .. I am trying to just live each day as it presents itself  .. if I heal...how wonderful that would be.. if not I will be grateful for my life and do the best that I can by it each day.  I guess that sounds a little jaded...I think I have developed a little cynacism.  I found a therapist who will take my insurance, I have an appointment in 3 weeks.. I sorta want to quit ' working ' on my life and just live my life with all of its discomforts, fears, pain and flaws...and continue to be happy for the really good days that come along. 

...coop

[[Aq...]]

So did anyone get hit ridiculously hard in the 15-16 month range?  Cause, since about 3 weeks ago, I just keep getting worse and worse as the days go on.  I have so much muscle tension in my upper body my dentist wants me to get a bite guard because he thinks it is what is causing my headaches.  Hoping for a break soon.  I need it bad!

[[...]]

Good morning buddies,

..I was off for most of yesterday and don't have a hope of catching up on posts.

  DREW, .  sorry you are being jerked around by the head stuff and health fears again.. it is such a mean trick to get a stretch of decent days and then get hit.  I am hoping things are winding down for you today.

MARJ....Hope this is a better day for you today...it's a a hard trek, but you are making your way through it ...and you are a long ways out from acute.  You are going to have more good days...

....Some tough times on our little thread.. Better days are coming... thinking of everyone today....coop

 

Thanks coop,  it really helps to have encouaging words from those who understand this.  Im really encouraged and happy for you that you had a good day yesterday.  Those small snapshots of normality are so needed to keep going. 

I am suffering the aftermath of yesterday,  woke up depressed and exhausted.  I think what didnt help things yesterday was i missed my exit of the motorway on my way to York,  I just wasnt with it in hindsight.  The panic feelings hardly left all afternoon and i couldnt enjoy myself so today I feel battered and bruised. My period has been trying to start for a few days so maybe thats not helping.  If anything from this we will learn patience,  mine is running thin at the mo and i feel like smashing some crockery or something in frustration,  Im sure most feel like this from time to time.  There is so much i want to do but dont have the energy or inclination to do it.  Sometimes its difficult to know what to do for the best.  I was determined to go yesterday but maybe i should have stayed home idk. 

I dnt know if you are aware of Baylissas fb page,  its called 'Bloom into wellness' and i find it very helpful and encouraging.  Theres a bunch of mini success stories posted yesterday....  We need all the positive we can get.

[[dr...]]

coop-so happy you had a good day but sad you're back in the trenches with us.

 

my update is that my performance went well but I am in the soup again.  Just like many othersw here I have the head pressure and racing heart stuff.  Throw in some random head pains, major cortisol rush at 4am, congestion, chest pain(which I haven't had for a long time), and I am in the soup with the rest of you.  Very disappointing. 

[[be...]]

Beulah, I think I don't trust it as healing is because I have beentricked too many times.  A string of good days followed by slamming waves. .. I am trying to just live each day as it presents itself  .. if I heal...how wonderful that would be.. if not I will be grateful for my life and do the best that I can by it each day.  I guess that sounds a little jaded...I think I have developed a little cynacism.  I found a therapist who will take my insurance, I have an appointment in 3 weeks.. I sorta want to quit ' working ' on my life and just live my life with all of its discomforts, fears, pain and flaws...and continue to be happy for the really good days that come along. 

...coop

 

Coop..believe it or not you just entered a new healing phase ..of..I'm done withdrawal..piss on it all..yep..we all get there..it's healing. You are going forward whether you feel it or not.

Go forward and live the best you can..while healing. Hugs.

[[dr...]]

Beulah, I think I don't trust it as healing is because I have beentricked too many times.  A string of good days followed by slamming waves. .. I am trying to just live each day as it presents itself  .. if I heal...how wonderful that would be.. if not I will be grateful for my life and do the best that I can by it each day.  I guess that sounds a little jaded...I think I have developed a little cynacism.  I found a therapist who will take my insurance, I have an appointment in 3 weeks.. I sorta want to quit ' working ' on my life and just live my life with all of its discomforts, fears, pain and flaws...and continue to be happy for the really good days that come along. 

...coop

 

coop-you've hit the acceptance stage!

[[Co...]]

Drew, does that mean it's over...lol..

[[Sk...]]

Drew, does that mean it's over...lol..

 

Almost ! 

[[be...]]

Drew, does that mean it's over...lol..

 

You silly girl.. ...you are definitely closer.

[[be...]]

I have a chemical like burn in the back of my throat..my throat hurt for about ten minutes and then stopped..but the burn is still there...then at the same time I could hear a clicking noise in my right ear.

Strange stuff.

[[Gr...]]

Good Morning ... I may be off line for a bit ... taking my computer into the shop for some work ... should only be a day at most ...

 

Had a very lousy day yesterday ... got hit hard with the air hunger and anxiety and head pressure stuff ...

 

Slept poorly and do not feel engaged this morning ... anyway going out to get that list done today ...

 

Hope everyone is doing okay ...

 

[/quote/]

 

Nova, I am so sorry u continue to be hit with sx. I was hoping yr break wud last a little longer. I suspect this is going to be a tedious ride, right until the very end. Feel better

 

[[mr...]]

Coop, Drew, Nova, y'all: love the sense of humor; needed that today Coop, I passed through that point a few months ago also...God has helped me start to "move on" with my life. It has been a blessing to do so. I don't do things "perfectly" etc, but I'm very proud of myself for where I'm at and where I'm heading.  Love how you said "does that mean its over" Lol It is the beginning of the end, I believe

 

Love to you all. I do read fairly frequently; just not posting as often is all. Hope that's OK. I do think of you all often.

 

Mrs.

[[je...]]

Lots of great posts, wish I could comment on them all buty memory is crap.

 

Nova-- sorry your still having a rough day, feel better

Coop-- great news that you got to enjoy a day with your daughter, and yes I think you are learning to accept a bit more -- not "working" on your life but just taking each day as it comes.

Drew-- sorry your in the soup, and yes I do think gluten could be the cause. I know for me ive developed more food sensitivities and I know my body well enough to know that sometimes there actually is a cause to my wave. Just go back to your regular eating habits and I'm sure you'll start to feel better.

Green-- are you feeling any better? Thanks for posting that article, I sure hope he's right about the anxiety going away after healing.

Hi Mrs! We miss you

 

I'm sure I missed someone, but hope your all doing well today. I would feel pretty good if it wasn't for this head pressure, its really bugging me! Love all of you, jenny

[[re...]]

Thanks for the welcome Coop and Beulah

    The surprise upset stomach issues,sometimes feeling like a UTI and upset ,nauseous stomach freaked me out so much I saw my PC Dr yesterday.I didn't mention benzo as he blew me off last summer and wanted to put me on SSRI .i of course ripped up the script.

  I explained sxs  and they cheched urine,cause I mentioned sxs similar to UTI and he did a manual gut check and of course nothing conclusive.Blood being checked also wants me back in two weeks cause with all the heat here in central jersey and new WD SXS , BP went out of whack 168/90,two days ago it was 121/71. 

  At this moment after sweeping and mopping kitchen  and cooking for family for last 4 hours ,

BP 123/71 . I use BP Meds and its usually controlled by it.

      FYI ,but I guess those that use know about this,that BP Med and hot weather don't mix ,we are more susceptible to heat exhaustion and heat strokes.

      That's what got me on this nightMare roller coaster with benzo .

When working my last job at a NYC loading dock in summer of 2012 ,I experienced a bad heat exhaustion close to heat stroke episode.It shocked my CNS ,which after research and not advised by Dr,is a by product of said exp.

    So,like a dope I asked for something to help with my nerves and anx you all have read of others going this rout ,one of the worst decisions I have ever made in my life

      So  because of drugs to help with BP there is the danger of other bad stuff happening as we all so very well know after benzo use

Yea just like others here after a real long I got this beat window,here we go again.

      As we used to say Man This Bites !

Thanks for sharing guys and letting me vent

    God bless and with His help we shall over come !

Praying it's not too hot for my daughter's outside tent wedding Jully 17

        renacido AKA aj

 

[[Co...]]

Sky.  Congratulations . ..walking through 19 months of w/d is a huge accomplishment..  Every day you walk through sx and discouragement with so much grace and belief in the process. You are such a bright example of acceptance and living the best life you can each day.....

.....Sky...I am wishing you bright sunbreaks and healing...love to you Sky.....coop

[[dr...]]

Welcome aj.  I always had good bp and since I've been off its been spiking up more often than I would like.  This drug is wreaking having on every other bodily symptom so why not this one.   

 

 

My anxiety/panic seems to have died down from yesterday.  Even made a one hour meeting w my usual discomfort which is fine. Just resting w a headache and sinus stuff.  Yuck!  Better than yesterday though.

 

One more thing...I realized this morning I haven't really had any bad eye issues for about a month and my facial numbness is much less or mostly gone.  Both these things hit me hard during these headaches so I'm taking it as a sign of this stuff is all just lessening. 

[[dr...]]

Sky-marching right along to being healed.

[[Co...]]

Drew, sounds like you are pulling out of this one..  really happy to hear that. One day at a time is the only possible way to do this.  Live our 'healing life' until we get our healed lives..

    coop. 

[[Co...]]

this is the third summer I have spent hoping for better days...although this summer has just begun...

....Eckhart wrote a great success story ....2 1/2 years and healed completely after a pretty tough ( is there any other kind?), w/d.  Just an fyi...it's posted pretty far down on the success board.....coop

[[Co...]]

Thinking about summers in w/d...The first summer I was completely bed bound....last summer I was doing stuff but pretty limited..  As bad as things have been the last 2 months I have to say that I am doing more ...my sx are far more mental than last summer,but not as bad as the summer I spent in acute..  I had a lot of cog fog and head pressure .. moderate health fears all day, but things seem to be leveling this evening

..hope everyone is holding on ...coop