12-18 month support

[[Sk...]]

Sig...you might try a hot lavender Epsome salts bath soak before bed..that has sometimes helped me for sleep...and/or anciety..I have also tried having some yogurt with tart cherries right before bed. The cherries have meletonin and the yogurt has tryptophan...both of which help sleep. I use full fat Greek yogurt.. organic and organic cherries. These tricks don't always help , but they do at least help with relaxation......coop

 

Thanks, I've tried all of them and sometime they help some. I have some magnesium supplements that I took a few times and they seemed to help some. Then I took on the fourth day and gave me the burning skin feeling. I may have to try it again though as I don't feel I have many options right now.

 

Siggy, maybe you should  work on the dosage. Keep a log and test which is the right amount  for you.  The benefits of it can be priceless but we are all so different and we have to be our own lab rats, unfortunately.

[[Sk...]]

Siggy--I had bad insomnia in acute, the first month out.  Then I started sleeping straight through the night.  The addiction doctor I consulted with one time at two months out even told me that if I was sleeping this well, I was probably past the worst of the benzo symptoms.  (I had also gone off opioids, which she said might give me continuing symptoms for longer.)  Of course this wasn't true, as far as how close I was to being totally healed since I am now at 20 months and still symptomatic.

 

For months I was sleeping really well, but at around 17 months I started to get some attacks of insomnia along with some new symptoms I hadn't experienced before.  I think when this happens it just shows that our brains are still making adjustments in our healing.  If you've slept okay during some of this, you will no doubt go back to that pattern.

 

I would really advise letting your own brain make its corrections and not get going on some kind of sleeping meds.  Try to have faith in your own brain's ability to eventually take care of things for you!  I'm just amazed at how I thought I was a person who needed to take a half a Xanax in the middle of the night occasionally when actually I was teaching my brain to need it.  I love the way I am sleeping straight through the night, every night now.  What's worked for me is strictly time and not being diverted into taking other meds.

 

Hang in there.  It's going to get better very soon, I predict.

 

I was so proud  of myself when I began falling asleep again. It felt like an accomplishment. It's incredible how these medications suck your self esteem in the process, you believe you are flawed and can't function without them.

[[...]]

Marj.  I have written the same thing....several times..  In a window I can not even summon the intrusive thoughts and fears  that descend on me and hijack my mind in a wave. In a wave I can not summon my normal mind ....or have any real command of the mental/ emotional brutal pain. ...You are not alone, I think all of us experience exactly what you describe. We have 2 minds.  our own normal rational minds and the mean scary sad benzo mind. I know this will change for all of us. We will all return to our selves and our own minds. You will not go crazy, although we are living through a wild crazy process. ...I think crying helps....it releases some of the weariness of it all. ....

....I am very glad that you got a nice break from the hardness of it yesterday. More  sunbreaks are coming to you. We are in the home stretch. The only thing that helps me in a wave of intrusive thoughts is distraction. My intrusive thoughts and fears are relentless health fears ...I don't work, and have huge respect for those who do. I really don't know how anyone is able to work while going through this.

....Lately I have been just trying to do the things I would 'normally ' do...with or without sx....that works to a point. I can stay busy and distracted around my apartment and outside around my complex.  Going out and about has been impossible in this 6 week wave, but I am feeling somewhat ready to at least do some shopping etc with my daughter.

.....The only thing we can do is go one day at a time and do the best we can do with whatever kind of day shows up

.....Wishing you sunbreaks today....coop

 

Aww thanks Coop, I wish the same for you, you have already come so far. It really is the most challenging, hardest thing we have ever had to go through, truly torturous.  Thank you for reassuring me as the 'going crazy' is my worst fear. The work thing; I am not good at home alone, this is the complete opposite of what I used to be like. I have a need to get out of the house and coming to work gives me that outlet, some know what I am going through and are supportive. Don't get me wrong it is really tricky sometimes but I have a routine now and it helps. it's the weekends I struggle with, I look forward to them all week and then I'm a mess as I cannot do much in the house and I hate it that everything is a struggle (we do what we can).

I went for a walk at lunch time and felt a bit better although my head and shoulders feel like they are filling with cement and peoples voices are sooo loud. Oh for normality to return!!

[[mr...]]

Today marks 6 months that I have had the privilege to be benzodiazepine-free! I would not have been able to achieve my goal of benzo-freedom, nor been able to maintain that freedom, without your love, support, & understanding along this journey. A hearty THANK YOU, as today is as much a celebration for you as it is for me! Praising God for 6 months of freedom!!!

 

My healing continues to progress it's way along, and I am so grateful for that. I remember so many others making the comment that things just continued to go away along the way, in a way that you almost didn't notice it. I remember that I simply could not relate to such a statement ~ I thought, BELIEVE me, I'll remember the date & time that XYZ symptom(s) go away! But I now understand what they meant ~ healing happens at such an ebb/flow, back & forth, 2 steps forward / one step backwards kind of pace that you do, truly do lose track of what's here and what's gone. And, they (symptoms) continue to grow milder and milder as time goes on...so it really does happen, where you wake up one day and think to yourself, "Huh...I don't remember the last time I experienced XYZ symptom..." Or, XYZ symptom can make a brief appearance again, and you realize how "out of practice" you are at its experience...because its been so long since you've experienced it! Anyways, lol.

 

So, I'm sure you're asking, is she still symptomatic? And the answer is yes ~ but it continues to lessen and lessen all the time, and more & more hours and days of "normal" are occurring (Praise God!). I have less and less of a "need" or desire to come to the forum for support, and as a result have been spending less and less time here (which I am grateful for, but I do miss you all !). More "rational" brain over "irrational". Less and less "benzo fear". More & more capability to handle stress ~ less and less "fear" of it. More desire. More "happy". More of the good; less of the "not-so-good" (again, Praising God!).

 

I just wanted to share with you how things continue to get better Healing is OURS, Amen! Take care gang; I am thinking of you.

 

Mrs.

[[Mi...]]

Health issues usually don't concern me since everything has always ended up being a part of WD......so I just brush it off and it goes away eventually.

 

That being said I'm concerned enough to ask a health question about my benzo belly???  ...If that's what it is...

 

For the past 4-5 days I have been feeling like I am always full, or that I have to burp.  The part that concerns me about this symptom is that is feels really high up this time.  Like I have a golf ball stuck at the bottom of my adams apple or behind my upper sternum.  It's not quite a bloated feeling it's more like a burp that I can't quite get out, or like food is lodged.  Neither is true.  I worked a ton yesterday and ended up not eating till about 20 hours since my previous meal.  I still felt this sensation.

 

Question:  Do you guys feel this same feeling when you call it benzo belly?  What I have described as benzo belly in the past is simply feeling like I ate way too much, or like my stomach is sticking out more than usual and bloated.  This is higher up and have lasted 4-5 days, hence my question/concern.

[[No...]]

Mike ... you describe exactly what I feel like sometimes ... I call it the benzo belly stuff ... it has a variety of manifestations ...

[[Mi...]]

All it takes is one reply.  Thanks Nova!  I feel so much better hearing you say that.  I will just keep waiting for this odd feeling to pass.  Thank you, thank you, thank you! 

[[Si...]]

Sig...you might try a hot lavender Epsome salts bath soak before bed..that has sometimes helped me for sleep...and/or anciety..I have also tried having some yogurt with tart cherries right before bed. The cherries have meletonin and the yogurt has tryptophan...both of which help sleep. I use full fat Greek yogurt.. organic and organic cherries. These tricks don't always help , but they do at least help with relaxation......coop

 

Thanks, I've tried all of them and sometime they help some. I have some magnesium supplements that I took a few times and they seemed to help some. Then I took on the fourth day and gave me the burning skin feeling. I may have to try it again though as I don't feel I have many options right now.

 

Siggy, maybe you should  work on the dosage. Keep a log and test which is the right amount  for you.  The benefits of it can be priceless but we are all so different and we have to be our own lab rats, unfortunately.

 

Thanks yes I should have been recording a journal since I came off. I only took one magnesium pill s night. I think it was something like 150mg? I can't remember.

[[Ko...]]

Health issues usually don't concern me since everything has always ended up being a part of WD......so I just brush it off and it goes away eventually.

 

That being said I'm concerned enough to ask a health question about my benzo belly???  ...If that's what it is...

 

For the past 4-5 days I have been feeling like I am always full, or that I have to burp.  The part that concerns me about this symptom is that is feels really high up this time.  Like I have a golf ball stuck at the bottom of my adams apple or behind my upper sternum.  It's not quite a bloated feeling it's more like a burp that I can't quite get out, or like food is lodged.  Neither is true.  I worked a ton yesterday and ended up not eating till about 20 hours since my previous meal.  I still felt this sensation.

 

Question:  Do you guys feel this same feeling when you call it benzo belly?  What I have described as benzo belly in the past is simply feeling like I ate way too much, or like my stomach is sticking out more than usual and bloated.  This is higher up and have lasted 4-5 days, hence my question/concern.

MikeJee

I too have a terrible Benzo Belly. I've gained 30 lbs and I swear it all in my huge stomach. I know the feeling you describe. Feels like your already full even though you haven't eaten. I've had no luck with trying to solve the BB problem. I'm taking probiotics (kefir) right now and that helps some. Also, I don't feel hungry so I not eating much.  I was really craving sugar for awhile and I think that made it worse. So, I'm cutting out sugar as much as possible. I've read that the BB disappears when we're healed and are back to normal. Let's hope so.

[[dr...]]

Mike-I had what felt like an air bubble trapped in the center of my chest. It went away. 

[[Gr...]]

Green..  thanks so much for posting the 'trueisms' from East. We all needed that list of hope.

....As always you sound about where I am. I don't have the paranoia.  My constant shadow is anxiety and health fears...and yes, my agoraphobia is back at an a most acute level, I am pushing against it gently...Doing some easy outings with my daughter, but I could never get through a show or play or concert as you do..My energy is better...driven by anxiety and the need to be busy for distraction. I have cleaned out every drawer, closet, cupboard, nook and cranny.  Running out of mindless cleaning projects. Time for my new life to show up, right now I trundle between obsessive house chores and The Waltons. This wave of total sickness and acute sx is not over, but it is lessening and I feel healing underneath it so trying to push carefully enough to see if my baseline will return.

....Green, this has been like a house landing on all of us. I am hoping with all my heart that this is the last tsunami wave for everyone here. ...I know it's going to take the entire 24 or some months for me to get really better...and probably another year to learn to live in the world again, but I would take that deal and move on with being a happy Nonni and teaching volunteer. ...I do believe we are on the last leg of this trek

.....sending you thoughts for sunbreaks and big healing.......coop

 

Coop, except for the different fears, yours health, mine pretty serious paranoia, sounds like we're on the same page.  Oh, and you clean.  Man, I love that you clean.  I get frozen.  or I take my car keys and go, I don't care where, just drive.

 

If your health fear is anywhere near my level of paranoid anxiety, well, you're in hell, GF.  This anxiety descends like a tornado.  sometimes it bounces off the ground, sometimes it stays to tear me up. but it is intense  I remember hearing ppl talk about this..  To me, it's still not as bad as acute. but there's something so, so intense about it, it'd different.  It must be bad, because it's so strong it woke me up out of a dead sleep, like alien jumping out of my chest.  And then it lifts.  I don't love this, but as long as it keeps lifting, giving me a chance to regroup, I can handle it.

 

Seriously, the mental sx are about as intense as they've ever been, really a torment.  And as you said before, as long as I've been getting these waves and windows, when I'm in a wave, whatever crazy thing comes into my mind, I can't shake it. 

 

The good news is, I really feel the healing.  I swear, I know something very, very good is happening.  so really bad, intense symptoms cycling with amazing mental clarity.  it comes and goes, all day long.  Yes, sleep is awful.  but it feels temporary

 

Everybody, get some sleep and have a better day tomorrow. :smitten:

[[Gr...]]

Green..  thanks so much for posting the 'trueisms' from East. We all needed that list of hope.

....As always you sound about where I am. I don't have the paranoia.  My constant shadow is anxiety and health fears...and yes, my agoraphobia is back at an a most acute level, I am pushing against it gently...Doing some easy outings with my daughter, but I could never get through a show or play or concert as you do..My energy is better...driven by anxiety and the need to be busy for distraction. I have cleaned out every drawer, closet, cupboard, nook and cranny.  Running out of mindless cleaning projects. Time for my new life to show up, right now I trundle between obsessive house chores and The Waltons. This wave of total sickness and acute sx is not over, but it is lessening and I feel healing underneath it so trying to push carefully enough to see if my baseline will return.

....Green, this has been like a house landing on all of us. I am hoping with all my heart that this is the last tsunami wave for everyone here. ...I know it's going to take the entire 24 or some months for me to get really better...and probably another year to learn to live in the world again, but I would take that deal and move on with being a happy Nonni and teaching volunteer. ...I do believe we are on the last leg of this trek

.....sending you thoughts for sunbreaks and big healing.......coop

 

Coop, it's not going to take so long.  month 22 is coming, and we'll be needing to scramble to write success stories.  Yes, Nova? 

 

Coop, your symptoms are precisely what HH had, and that gal was wailing.  and now she's writing a success story.  it's that quick.  on a dime.

[[Gr...]]

Health issues usually don't concern me since everything has always ended up being a part of WD......so I just brush it off and it goes away eventually.

 

That being said I'm concerned enough to ask a health question about my benzo belly???  ...If that's what it is...

 

For the past 4-5 days I have been feeling like I am always full, or that I have to burp.  The part that concerns me about this symptom is that is feels really high up this time.  Like I have a golf ball stuck at the bottom of my adams apple or behind my upper sternum.  It's not quite a bloated feeling it's more like a burp that I can't quite get out, or like food is lodged.  Neither is true.  I worked a ton yesterday and ended up not eating till about 20 hours since my previous meal.  I still felt this sensation.

 

Question:  Do you guys feel this same feeling when you call it benzo belly?  What I have described as benzo belly in the past is simply feeling like I ate way too much, or like my stomach is sticking out more than usual and bloated.  This is higher up and have lasted 4-5 days, hence my question/concern.

 

Mike, I've had the garden variety benzo belly all along.  What's added now is burping, a little more intense than burping. and the full feeling -- now it feels like my whole abdomen is like a locker, squared off, extending into my chest.  doesn't make it to the throat.  yet  

 

but the other two, the burping and feeling like my ab is some kind of long locker, that's new.

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... well, yesterday is in the books ... and I hope it stays there ... not an enjoyable day ... 

 

Got a good rest ... hope everyone else is getting sleep ...

 

Yep ... this stuff always passes ... now I just wish it would pass over the horizon and get permanently lost ... someday soon ...

 

We are all doing a good job ... we need to stay with it and all will be well ...

 

Have a good Thursday ... 

[[Si...]]

Sorry about the paranoia, that's no fun. I use to smoke a lot of pot and would sometimes get paranoid. Of course it couldn't be as bad as what you're going through. I knew once the high wore off that the paranoia would be gone. I slept from 9:45pm to 7:15 this morning. I got in bed as soon as I started to nod off last night. I love this relaxed feeling when I wake up. I just wish it would last. 

 

 

[[...]]

Hope everyone is doing ok, yes the thought whether they be paranoia, fear, impending doom are awful. We know they are not us, I know that yes I am a bit of an over thinker, however it is at least ten fold going through this. It won’t last.

Can anyone shed any light on sort of internal vibrations feelings – mainly upper body and this ridiculous feeling that my lungs are not working properly?  Not hyperventilating, just not able to take a full breath properly?

 

Yes Nova, I re read your words and keep telling myself, they always pass..........

[[be...]]

Hope everyone is doing ok, yes the thought whether they be paranoia, fear, impending doom are awful. We know they are not us, I know that yes I am a bit of an over thinker, however it is at least ten fold going through this. It won’t last.

Can anyone shed any light on sort of internal vibrations feelings – mainly upper body and this ridiculous feeling that my lungs are not working properly?  Not hyperventilating, just not able to take a full breath properly?

 

Yes Nova, I re read your words and keep telling myself, they always pass..........

 

Hey Marj, I have had the internal vibrations for some time and I think it's the cns revved up.

Oh yes..the faux asthma...the feeling that your lungs are not working properly....many of us have been struggling with this symptom for many months..short on air..can't deep breathe..pressure in the chest, as nova says...it's a bear. I have found that belly breathing is easier on the lungs....try to expand your belly instead of the lungs..if your abdominal muscles are tight it is difficult to to..but if you can relax them it really helps.

 

We do what we can do..and that's enough.

[[No...]]

Marj ... yes to the vibrations and the "air hunger" ... typical stuff ... and no fun at all ... and once again, they pass ...

 

And the sternum anxiety ... lousy stuff ... and all too familiar ... you are doing well ... keep going ... one day at a time ... 

[[No...]]

Siggy ... good news on the sleep ... feeling refreshed is always a good thing ... 

[[No...]]

Hi ... well ... when it rains it pours ... seems I have a urinary infection ... and on an antibiotic ... nitrofurantoin ... nothing to be overly concerned about ... at least in the short term ...

 

Still waiting for those "happy days" ...

[[Fi...]]

Siggy--yay for a good night's sleep!  Remember, if it happened once, it can happen again.

 

Nova-- I recently took a short round of nitrofurn myself for the same issue and had no problems.  This was after asking for something less harsh than Cipro, which I took last summer before reading on here that it could cause problems.

[[mr...]]

Hi ... well ... when it rains it pours ... seems I have a urinary infection ... and on an antibiotic ... nitrofurantoin ... nothing to be overly concerned about ... at least in the short term ...

 

Still waiting for those "happy days" ...

 

Hi Nova,

 

I just wanted to encourage a bit. I used to get UTIs, and had 3-4 last year during taper. They seemed to "kick up" my anxiety as a "first sign"...I haven't been keeping up w/ the thread, so I am uncertain if you've felt more "anxiety the past few days, but if you have, this may offer "explanation" to it Also, I have taken nitrofurantoin (Macrobid, right?) with good success ~ zero uptick in symptoms from it, for me If the anxiety was infection-related, you will be feeling better soon (IMO)

 

Take care buddy. I miss chatting with you & the gang

 

Mrs.

[[No...]]

Thanks for the info and reassurance, folks ...

 

And yes, I have had an uptick in anxiety the last three or four weeks ... curious ... just started the antibiotic last night ... feel pretty crappy today ... like I am actually a little sick ... which I guess I am ...

 

[[be...]]

Hey Nova, can you tolerate cranberry juice? In the past I've been able to cure uti's with pure organic cranberry juice. 

[[No...]]

Beulah ... I will give that a try ... I am rather fond of cranberry juice ... it makes a wonderful spritzer with club soda ...