12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Nova and Beulah....chiming in on the merry-go-round ride. Same here...get up and get the dog for a walk...all is good for a 2-4 hours and then the anxiety gets me for the next few hours ( my hike up Waltons Mountain )...and then , like Beulah , it lessens in the evening.....I try to get a bunch of stuff done in the mornings do I can get under the blankets and wait out the anxiety if I want to.

....Just trying to 'zen' it out...My d/r is so mu h better than it was yesterday...yesterday was down right spooky...all day long...hope that one going to be done doon.

....Wishing you both  dome sun breaks...coop

[[Co...]]

Marj..  this is such a good place to come to. We support each other everyday. Some people come on every day, others from time to time, some infrequently, some lurk but everyone here is caring, respectful , lead with support more than ' how too' and encouragement. ....welcome ...

....Yes, I have long standing neck and shoulder stiffness. For me it is the left shoulder and back of my neck. I get head pressure and d/r with it on most days. ..I use moist hot packs to the back of my neck , lavender Epsome salts full body soaks in a hot bath and have had some moderate to good relief with arnica to my shoulder. Sometimes nothing helps and I just have to get through it.

.....My second year is better than the first, however I had a rescue dose of 2.5 v in my doctor's office ( for panic and big b/p) about 4weeks ago and that one dose put me in an acute wave that is just now lessening. The second year has seen some old sx return, some new ones show up and a few seem to have fallen away. ...For me, the thing about year 2 is first of all...that it still going on. I thought I would be feeling much better by now. The second thing about year 2 is that I am so worn out with little reserves after enduring year 1.. I try to take each day on its own and listen to my body. I rest when I need to and push myself very carefully. This thread that Green started with the great  buddies here are what saved me  from reinstating at month. 17. ...

...I hope to get to know you as we go along ...each day is a day closer to having our lives back.....coop

[[No...]]

Beulah ... spring is here ... getting well into the 60s and low 70s ... most days ...

[[No...]]

Hi Coop ... another day of the same old thing ... cleaned up my planter boxes ... hopefully will get some plants this weekend ...

 

Wishing you a quiet day ... 

[[Si...]]

Siggy. .I use tart cherries too...I use about 1/3 cup in yogurt and have it before I go to bed. I do think they help. Sometimes some tart cherries with a few sliced of turkey.

....You are really doing great at resisting the otc medications and prescribed sleep meds. I have bouts of insomnia as well... I agree with Green. ...trying to let it go has been my best strategy, but it's hard if that is one of your more worrisome sx. I watch a lot of mindless tv in the middle of the night.  Read on BBs ...wrote on BBs to anyone else who is awake and on the forum. ...It's a tough one, but it will pass in time. I am 18 months out and mine is getting much better..I think 4 or 5 nights out of 7 I get about 5/6 hours of decent sleep. ...This will get better Sig....coop

 

Yes I do at least know that my sleep can get much better. It's twkimg longer and is more erratic though than when I was in acute. I only had in instance of being up three days straight the and that was right after I droppped the ¼mg lorazepam last dose. After that it was like clockwork, one day sleep good and then next 0. That happened for 2 months and then suddenly got a lot better out of nowhere. It was a little rocky at first, but the sleep just ramped back to normal from there. This time around I can't count on how many days I'll be awake nor how many I may get to sleep in a row. I'll stay up one or two nights then sleep for one or two.

 

I counted and I think it's been around 60+ a few days since I had the flu. It seems like longer than that honestly, but possibly still dealing with the aftermath of that? It was a brutal strain too. It gave several people I work with Bronchitis. It was a strai the CDC didn't include in the flu shot this year. So people that even got the flu shot got it. I hadn't had the flu in 15 years, so lucky me gets it while recovering.

[[Ko...]]

Korbe ... regarding weight loss ... short answer is "I don't know" ... it just happened ... I did nothing different ...

 

Another medical horror story ... about three years before I started my taper my GP retired (this would be about 7 years ago) ... without telling anyone ... just disappeared ... finding a regular doc in these parts is very difficult ... found one (or so I thought) ... and remember, this was back in the days when I trusted these people ... I was very healthy except for the clonazepam ... was in tolerance and did not know it then ...

 

Weighed 175 pounds that fluctuated 5 or so pounds ... bp on the high side of normal (was taking hydrochlorothiazide for several years and everything was stable) ... things were humming along ... I am a big boned, broad shouldered linebacker kind of physique ... a 5' 10 " brick wall kind of guy ...

 

Saw this new doc ... was told I was getting old ... and I needed a blood pressure med ... he gave me an rx for a mid level dose of metoprolol ... a beta blocker ... I sat around for a couple of days wondering what I should do ... I knew in my bones that I should not take the new drug ... and I didn't listen to my inner voice ... I did not realize at the time what effects the benzo tolerance was having on me ... and I was living in my own little cocoon ...

 

I took the beta blocker ... within three days I literally could not walk ... legs, ankles and feet swelled to the point all I could wear was my slippers ... went back to the doc ... he said no one had ever had this reaction to the drug and gave me an rx for a lasik ... did not help ... seemed to make things worse some how ... went to ER ... was told things would settle out, just keep taking the lasik ... after two weeks I asked the pharmacist what was going on ... he told me to stop the beta blocker and the lasik ... and I was gaining weight and my bp was going up ...

 

Went back to ER ... told not to worry, things would settle down ... was told I needed to lose weight and things would be fine ... they upped my K dose and told me to go back on the lasik ... I fell into a medical limbo ... completely lost ... I tried to find a new doc ... took six months ... and I had ballooned up to 325 pounds ... and literally could not walk, it was painful ... and bp was through the roof ...

 

New doc started me on an ace-inhibiter and over the course of three months my bp stabilized ... and I stopped gaining weight ... went for a full cardio workup over the next three months ... the long and the short of that was "everything is fine" ... "you are obese and need to lose weight" ... there was nothing wrong with the meds ... they could not cause these problems ... essentially it was all my fault ... I was just fat and lazy ...

 

And, unknown to me my tolerance was getting worse ... I was completely lost ... I was literally a blob that saw no way out ... started forcing myself to walk ... very painful in the beginning ... gradually over several months got a little better ... and some weight came off ... stabilized around 265 pounds ... and tolerance started hitting me very hard every day ...

 

Started making some "connections" on my own ... came to the conclusion there was a connection between the beta blocker and the benzo ... and came to realize I need to come off the benzo ...

 

Fast forward to today ... for me, the start of this cycle of weight loss has to do with healing ... it is very possible that my edema is getting better ... today I believe the benzo "set the table" for the edema ... did not "cause" it as such ... add in the beta blocker and it kicked things over ... no medical people I have spoken with will accept this connection ... but it is there in the literature ...

 

Sorry for the long-winded response ... I have never put this out there before ... and I think it is important ... this whole mind set of "one size fits all" is dangerous ... and I have the responsibility to listen to myself ...

 

I have always eaten pretty well ... and getting out and about is still problematic because of my healing ... my inner voice tells me to "carry on" ... things are getting better ... the remainder of this excess weight will come off over the next few months ... be patient and keep going as I have been ... the tortoise will get there in due time ...

 

Korbe ... sorry I can't give you a better response to weight loss ... things will get better and better for all of us ... we do what we can, as we can ...

 

Thanks Nova for the detailed response. I've had a similiar weight gain too. I'm 5'9 and weighed 165 to 170 when all this started. Now I'm at 210 and I feel I don't eat that much for all this weight gain. I no longer can go to the gym or walk any distance so lack of exercise may account for some. Also quit smoking, so that probably didn't help the weight. I too get edema and went th ER for it. They of course found no cause.  Having huge painful Benzo Belly is one of my worst side effects. I'm extremely embarrassed by this as I have never been over weight. I hope you're right and the weight will come off when we heal.

[[Mi...]]

I've gone from shoveling snow to shoveling pollen!  Man is it yellow out there.  We need rain so badly...

 

So yeah, workout tip of the day for any of us chunkers....get off your ass and go shovel some pollen! 

[[be...]]

Nova and Beulah....chiming in on the merry-go-round ride. Same here...get up and get the dog for a walk...all is good for a 2-4 hours and then the anxiety gets me for the next few hours ( my hike up Waltons Mountain )...and then , like Beulah , it lessens in the evening.....I try to get a bunch of stuff done in the mornings do I can get under the blankets and wait out the anxiety if I want to.

....Just trying to 'zen' it out...My d/r is so mu h better than it was yesterday...yesterday was down right spooky...all day long...hope that one going to be done doon.

....Wishing you both  dome sun breaks...coop

 

Coop, I wish I could do more in the mornings but the legs are to stiff and painful.

I felt so stiff yesterday and felt like I needed to stretch..so I did some easy stretches..then I decided to do a squat...I won't do that again.

It's 6pm now and I can feel the stiffness soften a little..in a couple more hours I will be able to load the dishwasher. We do what we can when we can.

Hope your d/r continues to improve and you have a restful night.

[[Co...]]

Beulah.  You are so right...we do what we can when we can..Do you have some mornings when your legs are not as pai ful?...I hope so...My afternoon s are pretty worthless because that when my anxiety hits ...lately anyway. Because of that results ue dose I now have anxiety waves daily.  It's been about a month now and the most miserable acute sx like the uncontrollable shaking are falling off.  My anxiety weaves in and out throughout the day but I have been getting 3-4 hours without it..

....I wish we were all completely well... A little more distance yet....coop

[[be...]]

Yes coop, I have some mornings when my legs are not to bad..I cherish those mornings. I love to walk in early summer mornings when the birds are tweeting..on bad days I can't walk and the birds annoy me...lol. I had planned a walk for this evening but it's to stormy.

So happy you are getting breaks between the anxiety..sometimes it seems it will never fade away.

My anxiety is a lot better the last few days...it's on to bigger things like nerve and muscle pain..it gets so old...all of this rotating of symptoms.

Hopefully your anxiety is calming down and you will have better days.

Rest..and give John boy a big hug for me.

[[Gr...]]

Do all of you find that after a bad wave that you feel you've progressed in healing? I guess maybe I was a little thrown off by having what possibly was a very long wave of five months. Definetly in a terrible wave the last two months.

 

Sig,

I had my most significant healing after my hardest waves.  Month 12 was a biggie.  By 12.5 I had a beautiful window.  All major waves are followed by great healing, great improvements.  When I'm in the middle of a wave, that does not help me!

 

Well here I am wide awake again. I was trying not to get on my phone, but I just lay in bed doing nothing for four hours straight barely moving hoping I'll pass out. I get up and drink some water and wander around the house fora few minutes. I get in our guest room bed so I don't bother my wife with tossing and turning. She can take a nap during the day and still sleep all night. I'm happy for her, but of course jealous about it too. I need to start keeping a journal so I can try and follow my ups and downs. Sorry got the rambling. I'm just really tired of all of this.

 

Siggy, don't fight insomnia, you won't win.  fortunately, you have a guest bedroom. Find a way to deal with it, with acceptance, and it will pass when it passes.  This is one symptom I got good dealing with.  Stay away from all stimulants past a certain time.  That's the only thing that really helps.  And supplements.  I do take melatonin and magnesium and Sleep Tonight, all good products, but they don't work when I'm in an insomnia wave.  nothing does.  I would never recommend a supplement, because everyone here is so sensitive, I just say what I've tried and what I think helped me a little.

There was a very good thread written by Tom N Texas, on insomnia, it wasn't from here, but it made all the rounds.  basically, accept the fact there's nothing you can take to make it go away.  Don't be afraid of it.  Relax and wait for it to pass.

 

this is one of my worst symptoms.  It's slowly getting better  What I've found is lately it's not the quantity of sleep, but the quality, and the quality is improving on its own, with time.

 

Thanks Green. Yes I know all that I should do, but I just have a hard time controlling the frustration. I know I'm suppose to just leg go, but it's so hard when it's ongoing. Especially since it seemed to be going my way for a few weeks and then I get hit again.

 

I don't do any other real prescription meds. I can't use antihistamines as I have a paradoxical reaction to them. They are like taking speed for me. DEFINITELY not what I want LOL. I was given Hydroxyzine when I dropped the Lorazepam and it maybe helped with the crazy anxiety, but did nothing to help me sleep. Also was prescribed Clonadine patch, which I hated. I put it on for 16 hours and it dropped my BP way too low (for some reason the Pdoc started me on the .2 patch instead of .1 ). Other things that I've had varying success with are acupuncture and tart cherry. I tried melatonin and I don't think it helped much. Just made me feel bad. I took some magnesium too for a few days and it seemed to help, but then seemed to turn on me also by the fourth day and made me feel terrible. We use lavender oil a lot. Also have a linen spray for the bed. I can't really see putting myself on an A/D or low dose antipsychotic. I'll just have to tough it out and hope it clears up soon. I'm trying to keep my spirits up. Having to try and concentrate on some really complicated drawings. I work as a graphic designer for a sign company, so have to draw using a lot of math and then notate everything (color, materials, sizes, mounting, etc.).

 

Thanks again for all the support everyone. It's really really helpful to have some reassurances.

 

Sig,

at my one year mark I was so desperate I almost went to a shrink for AD/anti psychotic for sleep.  I am so glad I didn't.  You've come so far already, you are so close.  There is always the worry that adding psych meds will further mess up the already mixed up brain chemistry.  Hang in there.  I think you're going to feel better, get some sleep pretty soon.  I checked your signature.  You're a week into the second year.  Just give it a little time.

 

I didn't have to work.  Easy for me to say!  But hang on.

[[...]]

Thank you for all you welcomes, I feel like I am in a good place for support and at this stage of recovery it is quite scary, so I am very grateful. 

 

Siggy, I am suffering just like you with sleep problems, I sympathize. It seems to come and go like everything else or rather improve rather than go. I too am working although I am lucky in that I don’t have a lot of pressure on me at the moment or I’m sure I would crack. I go for a walk every lunchtime come rain or shine and I usually feel a bit better. To feel so exhausted and not able to sleep is horrible; I used to be such a good sleeper, most nights would love that drifting off to a restful sleep. It’s like everything else with this painful experience; it gets a bit better and you think you’re making progress then off we go again. Surely all this must be strengthening our spirit. Baylissa posted on her FB page today ‘’The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it’’.

 

I wonder if anyone can shed any light on this? My daughter is doing her 1st year A level exams (she’s 17) and it’s stressing me out more than her or I’m just worrying if she is stressed and I’m not there for her like I usually am because I’m so messed up with all this. All the what ifs are driving me into craziness. I hate being so fragile, so fearful of not coming out the other side. Never in a million years would you get this if not experienced it!!

 

[[...]]

I think it is time for me to come on board as I have been a lurker too for a while, watching all of your progress with hope.

 

Today I am 13 months off and struggling with losing faith that this will get better. I have never had a window that goes beyond a day and some days where things are not as intense, however every morning since all this began has been a struggle. I have had some good days and Friday was a decent day in that I felt different, as if I could feel healing, then bang the weekend has been worse than ever. I was wondering if anyone can relate to rigid muscles in neck, shoulders and upper back? I do get this all over at times but this area can be hell at times. It makes me wonder if I have some permanent damage somewhere to cause so much pain and discomfort. Today I feel as if I cannot breath properly, the pain is now in my face, and my veins feel like they have poison running through them. Fatigue is ridiculous, I could be knocked down by a feather. So sorry to moan on about some of my symptoms,  you all have been suffering  for such a long time and I love the way you encourage each other on this cruel and painful journey. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other until the other side is reached and trying to keep faith that it is waiting.

Wishing everyone continued healing 

 

Marj, welcome.  I am so happy you've decided to join us.  There is better healing in numbers.  the rigor mortis is very common, most of us have had it in the second year, even many who never had it in the first!  And I can promise you, that little freak symptom will drop away as abruptly as it came! 

 

Year two is better in many ways, but has its own challenges.  I think a lot of ppl give up in year two because they're afraid something is wrong and they're going to be like this forever.  This is not true  we are all healing.  we will all recover. 

 

there's a lot of information and support here.  welcome.

 

 

Thanks GreenIce - This made me smile - rigor mortis    I did get it in year one, I don't get it as often but it is more severe when I do especially in the neck and shoulders. Yes I worry all the time that something else is wrong, I have forgotton what I used to be like!!!

[[be...]]

Thank you for all you welcomes, I feel like I am in a good place for support and at this stage of recovery it is quite scary, so I am very grateful. 

 

Siggy, I am suffering just like you with sleep problems, I sympathize. It seems to come and go like everything else or rather improve rather than go. I too am working although I am lucky in that I don’t have a lot of pressure on me at the moment or I’m sure I would crack. I go for a walk every lunchtime come rain or shine and I usually feel a bit better. To feel so exhausted and not able to sleep is horrible; I used to be such a good sleeper, most nights would love that drifting off to a restful sleep. It’s like everything else with this painful experience; it gets a bit better and you think you’re making progress then off we go again. Surely all this must be strengthening our spirit. Baylissa posted on her FB page today ‘’The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it’’.

 

I wonder if anyone can shed any light on this? My daughter is doing her 1st year A level exams (she’s 17) and it’s stressing me out more than her or I’m just worrying if she is stressed and I’m not there for her like I usually am because I’m so messed up with all this. All the what ifs are driving me into craziness. I hate being so fragile, so fearful of not coming out the other side. Never in a million years would you get this if not experienced it!!

 

Welcome Marj,

Yes, I agree ..this process is quite scary...but not as scary for me as it was in year one..the fear was so bad.

I'm sure your excited nervous system is making you feel more stress about your daughter and her exams...when in withdrawal..worry and stress are tenfold.

 

I don't think we are as fragile as we feel we are...the benzo beast is such a liar....the fear..yep..the beast is good at that also.

 

In time your symptoms will settle down..but this process is a bit of a roller coaster.

 

You are so right..nobody will ever get this..unless they have lt.

 

Wishing you calm and healing.

 

 

 

[[No...]]

Hi ... had a bout of stormy insomnia last evening ... finally got to sleep around 4 AM ... things seem quiet this morning, for now ...

 

Have a good day everyone ... 

[[Si...]]

Do all of you find that after a bad wave that you feel you've progressed in healing? I guess maybe I was a little thrown off by having what possibly was a very long wave of five months. Definetly in a terrible wave the last two months.

 

Sig,

I had my most significant healing after my hardest waves.  Month 12 was a biggie.  By 12.5 I had a beautiful window.  All major waves are followed by great healing, great improvements.  When I'm in the middle of a wave, that does not help me!

 

Well here I am wide awake again. I was trying not to get on my phone, but I just lay in bed doing nothing for four hours straight barely moving hoping I'll pass out. I get up and drink some water and wander around the house fora few minutes. I get in our guest room bed so I don't bother my wife with tossing and turning. She can take a nap during the day and still sleep all night. I'm happy for her, but of course jealous about it too. I need to start keeping a journal so I can try and follow my ups and downs. Sorry got the rambling. I'm just really tired of all of this.

 

Siggy, don't fight insomnia, you won't win.  fortunately, you have a guest bedroom. Find a way to deal with it, with acceptance, and it will pass when it passes.  This is one symptom I got good dealing with.  Stay away from all stimulants past a certain time.  That's the only thing that really helps.  And supplements.  I do take melatonin and magnesium and Sleep Tonight, all good products, but they don't work when I'm in an insomnia wave.  nothing does.  I would never recommend a supplement, because everyone here is so sensitive, I just say what I've tried and what I think helped me a little.

There was a very good thread written by Tom N Texas, on insomnia, it wasn't from here, but it made all the rounds.  basically, accept the fact there's nothing you can take to make it go away.  Don't be afraid of it.  Relax and wait for it to pass.

 

this is one of my worst symptoms.  It's slowly getting better  What I've found is lately it's not the quantity of sleep, but the quality, and the quality is improving on its own, with time.

 

Thanks Green. Yes I know all that I should do, but I just have a hard time controlling the frustration. I know I'm suppose to just leg go, but it's so hard when it's ongoing. Especially since it seemed to be going my way for a few weeks and then I get hit again.

 

I don't do any other real prescription meds. I can't use antihistamines as I have a paradoxical reaction to them. They are like taking speed for me. DEFINITELY not what I want LOL. I was given Hydroxyzine when I dropped the Lorazepam and it maybe helped with the crazy anxiety, but did nothing to help me sleep. Also was prescribed Clonadine patch, which I hated. I put it on for 16 hours and it dropped my BP way too low (for some reason the Pdoc started me on the .2 patch instead of .1 ). Other things that I've had varying success with are acupuncture and tart cherry. I tried melatonin and I don't think it helped much. Just made me feel bad. I took some magnesium too for a few days and it seemed to help, but then seemed to turn on me also by the fourth day and made me feel terrible. We use lavender oil a lot. Also have a linen spray for the bed. I can't really see putting myself on an A/D or low dose antipsychotic. I'll just have to tough it out and hope it clears up soon. I'm trying to keep my spirits up. Having to try and concentrate on some really complicated drawings. I work as a graphic designer for a sign company, so have to draw using a lot of math and then notate everything (color, materials, sizes, mounting, etc.).

 

Thanks again for all the support everyone. It's really really helpful to have some reassurances.

 

Sig,

at my one year mark I was so desperate I almost went to a shrink for AD/anti psychotic for sleep.  I am so glad I didn't.  You've come so far already, you are so close.  There is always the worry that adding psych meds will further mess up the already mixed up brain chemistry.  Hang in there.  I think you're going to feel better, get some sleep pretty soon.  I checked your signature.  You're a week into the second year.  Just give it a little time.

 

I didn't have to work.  Easy for me to say!  But hang on.

 

Thanks Green!  :D :D

 

I got some sleep last night, so feel a lot better today. I'll keep plodding forth and hope this irons out soon. 

[[No...]]

Siggy ... good news ... keep plodding ... things will iron out ... 

[[Si...]]

Siggy ... good news ... keep plodding ... things will iron out ... 

 

Thanks, sorry you had a rough night. I guess at least you got some sleep though.

[[No...]]

Siggy ... yep ...had a ride on the benzo-coaster ... they finally shut down the "amusement park" and I got some sleep ... 

[[Gr...]]

Nova, I'm with you, the last two nights I'm falling asleep late, even for me, 7!  but sleeping until 12:30.  But I'm noticing I don't feel as bad in the morning, like I can handle it better now.

 

Coop, I get hit with anxiety throughout the day, never can tell.  I find myself trying to "gently push" myself into doing little things, similar to the first year, when I first started getting out the door.  This last wave feels so much like a setback, but there is real healing going on, I can feel my brain returning in leaps and bounds.  It's hard to tell when you're suffering with other stuff at the same time, but it's happening.  I had to feel a little better before I could say that

 

For me, mental symptoms have been very tough, M17-18.  I'm uncomfortable socially again -- I had gotten past that! --  now I find it hard to be around people, except my closest ones.  I don't feel so comfortable in my own skin sometimes, which is probably the anxiety.  The anxiety is the big culprit for my mental sx, I guess.  Mild paranoia.  The belief that many people are bad!  mildly malevolent.  this is so weird.  I think it's the DR?  but definitely pulling away from social stuff.  wanting to keep close to home.  mild agoraphobia?  yeah, I think so.

I write this because I thought I was done with this!  this was one of the things I dealt with first after acute, getting out the door, attempting to be around people.

Other than that, still tired, but better, my mood is better.  the morning wake-up is not so good.  a little fearful.  not anxiety, fear.  the need to jump out of bed quickly. 

 

Nova, I don't think we get spring weather anymore!  The temp was high 80s for Mother's day.  Yesterday we needed AC, today, too, mid 80s.  that's kind of high for this time of year.

 

Hope everyone is doing a little better today

 

[[Si...]]

Nova, I'm with you, the last two nights I'm falling asleep late, even for me, 7!  but sleeping until 12:30.  But I'm noticing I don't feel as bad in the morning, like I can handle it better now.

 

Coop, I get hit with anxiety throughout the day, never can tell.  I find myself trying to "gently push" myself into doing little things, similar to the first year, when I first started getting out the door.  This last wave feels so much like a setback, but there is real healing going on, I can feel my brain returning in leaps and bounds.  It's hard to tell when you're suffering with other stuff at the same time, but it's happening.  I had to feel a little better before I could say that

 

For me, mental symptoms have been very tough, M17-18.  I'm uncomfortable socially again -- I had gotten past that! --  now I find it hard to be around people, except my closest ones.  I don't feel so comfortable in my own skin sometimes, which is probably the anxiety.  The anxiety is the big culprit for my mental sx, I guess.  Mild paranoia.  The belief that many people are bad!  mildly malevolent.  this is so weird.  I think it's the DR?  but definitely pulling away from social stuff.  wanting to keep close to home.  mild agoraphobia?  yeah, I think so.

I write this because I thought I was done with this!  this was one of the things I dealt with first after acute, getting out the door, attempting to be around people.

Other than that, still tired, but better, my mood is better.  the morning wake-up is not so good.  a little fearful.  not anxiety, fear.  the need to jump out of bed quickly. 

 

Nova, I don't think we get spring weather anymore!  The temp was high 80s for Mother's day.  Yesterday we needed AC, today, too, mid 80s.  that's kind of high for this time of year.

 

Hope everyone is doing a little better today

 

I totally identify with the "I thought this was over" scenario.

 

We went straight from cool weather into, geez it's hot! It's not even summer yet. I'm in Atlanta. The beginning of Spring was unusually cool here, so the heat feels like it jumped up even more than it normally would have. Hope your returning symptoms sputter out soon.

[[be...]]

Hey Green, I still have the mild paranoia. I have a shy side and when I'm face to face with people I barely know I can feel panic building in me and the need  to walk away from that person quickly.

I'm not a social butterfly but I used to love talking with people and would strike up a conversation with a total stranger...can't do that now...I sure do miss socializing.

 

At least we have the cyper socializing going on here.

 

Does anyone have wheezing with their faux asthma? Some weird noises coming from my chest.

[[Sk...]]

Hey Green, I still have the mild paranoia. I have a shy side and when I'm face to face with people I barely know I can feel panic building in me and the need  to walk away from that person quickly.

I'm not a social butterfly but I used to love talking with people and would strike up a conversation with a total stranger...can't do that now...I sure do miss socializing.

 

At least we have the cyper socializing going on here.

 

Does anyone have wheezing with their faux asthma? Some weird noises coming from my chest.

 

I hate, hate, hate the paranoia. I identify with what Green said about seeing people as mildly malevolent. I am having a hard time spelliing today, does anbydoy have this as well ?

 

I hate having paranoia with Mr Sky and my mom and my students. It makes me feel dirty. My biggest sympathy goes to people who have the real thing, it's really bad.

[[No...]]

Beulah ... the faux asthma is a bear ... I get some wheezing from time to time ... today I have the throat pressure under my chin ... I suspect a muscle contraction type cause ... who knows ...

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I too can relate to this paranoia thing ... I don't like it at all ... it is just there ... an instant response kind of thing ...