12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Nova...celery, cucumber, watermelon and parsley juiced together has helped my fluid balance a lot.  And for some reason GatorAde also helps...the Gator Ade was very helpful for nausea . Green said that the electrolytes help dehydration and dehydration causes nausea.  It also encouraged a lot of fluid release that seems counter intuitive to dehydration, but maybe our bodies hang onto fluid when we are dehydrated.. Well, blah blah.  I am drinking the celery/cucumber/parsley juice every other day or so and I can see my ankle bones again.. thinking of you Nova.  coop

[[No...]]

Siggy ... that's what we do ... keep our head in the game ... come here for reassurance ... and keep trucking ... 

[[No...]]

Coop ... thanks for the info ... my old bones don't seem to handle the raw stuff very well these days ... and what I find most curious ... things are getting better no matter what I do ... so I suppose I will just hang around and watch it happen ...

[[Co...]]

Nova...I agree.  Things seem to get better ( or sometimes worse.. momentarily) no matter what we do.  At least we are moving in the right direction. 

[[He...]]

Green ... regarding the weight ... I believe most of it so far is the water issue ... one thought I have had for a while centers around this idea of the benzo being a relaxant ... take them away and things contract ... and do not ebb and flow as they would normally ... and with healing moving along perhaps some of this ebb and flow is starting to return ... that was the issue I tried to get across to the morons regarding the lymph issue ... but what the hell do I know ...

 

I haven't done anything special reading diet or exercise ... hell, I haven't even been out in three days ... every time I go out lately I am getting smacked with sensory overload ...

 

And ... things are getting better ... slowly but surely ... my wife sees it and I trust her judgement ... I think we are just in the dog days of healing and things will get much better in the next few months ...

 

Happy Mother's Day ...

 

Hi Friends!

 

Regarding the weight loss thing, I had it too.  I dropped about 10 pounds during the last big wave I experienced, without changing anything regarding food and exercise.  In fact, I wasn't hardly exercising at all!  It caused my health anxiety to flare up as well.....imagining all kinds of dire things.  BUT, I now suspect that it has more to due with our bodies normalizing.  I wonder if during the last bits of withdrawal those who need to lose weight, lose....and those who need to gain, gain?

[[be...]]

Nova...you have been through it. I totally agree, not only do individual meds have sx, combinations of drugs complicate the whole mess. I gained 10 pounds within 6 weeks of going on ativan...and much of it was fluid. I could see the swelling in my face and ankles. I was also taking mclazine for the ear condition . I went off the mclazine as I thought the ativan was the be all and end all for vertigo and anxiety ( which it was.  until about 6 weeks in when it wasnt)  I dropped the 10 pounds and the fluid when I dropped the mclazine. I tried to tell my ENT this.  He practically rolled his eyes at me. " fluid retention and weight gain is not a side effect of either one of the drugs you are taking".  Right in the patient insert for mclazine....fluid retention. ...also dizziness.  wait, I thought I was taking the mclazine to reduce vertigo.

    I agree with you and Beulah.  We are not stupid.  We know our bodies ( we live in them 24/7)  Now if I feel like something is causing me a side effect I believe myself . When I told my physician that propanolol caused me increased palpitations he insisted that couldn't be as it is often given for arrhythmias.  I insisted on a medication change.  sure enough switched to atenolol for b/p spikes and palps calmed down .. We know what we are talking about.

..  .That was a terrible circular misdiagnosis and wrong rx ..one after another in an awful loop . I am sorry that happened to you. I honestly believe that doctors do not know anything really about the drugs they prescribe.

  ..I hope you are having a better day . .. Yep, carry on...coop

 

Yes coop..exactly!!!! We have lived in our bodies for many years and we know when something's not right.

The doctors know what the drug reps tell them. Have you been in a docs office when a drug rep comes in....omg...the lies they tell the docs....it's criminal. A good doc I had many years ago use to bust the drug reps out and tell them of certain drugs that he would not prescribe and actually told them of patient complaints about side affects of some of the drugs. Gosh..I wish he hadn't retired..he really listened to his patients and was a doctor for all the right reasons.

 

Hope you have a good evening!!

 

[[He...]]

Happy Saturday!

I think I'm going to start writing my success story.  I am not 100%, still have a few twinges now and then, but the last several times that I have went to log on to check on this thread, I wrote my user name as "HealedHope" without meaning to.  I think it's probably a sign that it's time.     

 

Strangely, it feels like a daunting task and I'm not sure why.  For the past 2 years I have dreamed of feeling good enough that I would actually write a success story, and now that I've felt healed enough to do it for a while now, I am hesitant.  Weird... 

Maybe it's that it feels too scary to step back and really look at this past year?  I find myself distancing myself more and more from the thought of benzo withdrawal, even to the point of having to think about exactly how long I've been off them, rather than knowing it to the day as I did for so long.  My untold story seems to be hovering over me now, and it's time to start sketching it out. 

 

Love to you all! 

[[No...]]

HH ... good to hear ... I understand your hesitancy ... take your time ... it will come together for you ... 

[[dr...]]

HH-it's amazing how our minds and body let us know when it's time for things.  I woke up ths morning and had the urge to fly north!

[[Co...]]

HH.. that is so wonderful.  I can't wait to read your success story. I would be worried if you didn't want to distance yourself from the w/d nightmare.  It's not your life anymore.  Thank goodness. I am sending you wishes for everything good and joyful from here on in.  I would never look back.

...Thank you so much for posting to us.  You gave me so much hope that healing is around the corner...

...You do sound healed.  Write that story when it moves you to do so....We are all waiting to read it....love to you HH....coop

[[be...]]

Happy Saturday!

I think I'm going to start writing my success story.  I am not 100%, still have a few twinges now and then, but the last several times that I have went to log on to check on this thread, I wrote my user name as "HealedHope" without meaning to.  I think it's probably a sign that it's time.     

 

Strangely, it feels like a daunting task and I'm not sure why.  For the past 2 years I have dreamed of feeling good enough that I would actually write a success story, and now that I've felt healed enough to do it for a while now, I am hesitant.  Weird... 

Maybe it's that it feels too scary to step back and really look at this past year?  I find myself distancing myself more and more from the thought of benzo withdrawal, even to the point of having to think about exactly how long I've been off them, rather than knowing it to the day as I did for so long.  My untold story seems to be hovering over me now, and it's time to start sketching it out. 

 

Love to you all!

 

You sound so good...I'm so happy for you!!!!  I was where you are once...so happy to be healed and just wanted to put the painful memories behind me and move on. That was ten years ago and I was on benzo island. I struggled to write my success story because I didn't want to feel the pain of it...it hurt my brain to think of everything I had been through..but I wanted to get my story out there for others.

No need to rush..just take your time and you will do fine. Sharing is caring...I thank you.

 

Heal on!!!!

[[je...]]

So happy for you HH  miss you, jenny

[[Gr...]]

Green ... regarding the weight ... I believe most of it so far is the water issue ... one thought I have had for a while centers around this idea of the benzo being a relaxant ... take them away and things contract ... and do not ebb and flow as they would normally ... and with healing moving along perhaps some of this ebb and flow is starting to return ... that was the issue I tried to get across to the morons regarding the lymph issue ... but what the hell do I know ...

 

I haven't done anything special reading diet or exercise ... hell, I haven't even been out in three days ... every time I go out lately I am getting smacked with sensory overload ...

And ... things are getting better ... slowly but surely ... my wife sees it and I trust her judgement ... I think we are just in the dog days of healing and things will get much better in the next few months ...

 

Happy Mother's Day ...

 

M, thank you for the M's Day wishes! 

 

I suspect the weight loss is what you think, and I wish it would happen over here!

 

Yes, I get the sensory overload out of the house, and Coop said something about a touch of agoraphobia -- I relate.  All I know is, it's nice outside, and I'm inside!  sometimes I will take the time to try to figure out the why -- is it mental, physical?  don't know, don't even care, just hope it passes.

 

Shrimp in angel hair pasta tomorrow, and garlic knots and salad.  If you can't leave the house, may as well make it pleasant, and fattening!

[[Gr...]]

Green ... regarding the weight ... I believe most of it so far is the water issue ... one thought I have had for a while centers around this idea of the benzo being a relaxant ... take them away and things contract ... and do not ebb and flow as they would normally ... and with healing moving along perhaps some of this ebb and flow is starting to return ... that was the issue I tried to get across to the morons regarding the lymph issue ... but what the hell do I know ...

 

I haven't done anything special reading diet or exercise ... hell, I haven't even been out in three days ... every time I go out lately I am getting smacked with sensory overload ...

 

And ... things are getting better ... slowly but surely ... my wife sees it and I trust her judgement ... I think we are just in the dog days of healing and things will get much better in the next few months ...

 

Happy Mother's Day ...

 

Hi Friends!

 

Regarding the weight loss thing, I had it too.  I dropped about 10 pounds during the last big wave I experienced, without changing anything regarding food and exercise.  In fact, I wasn't hardly exercising at all!  It caused my health anxiety to flare up as well.....imagining all kinds of dire things.  BUT, I now suspect that it has more to due with our bodies normalizing.  I wonder if during the last bits of withdrawal those who need to lose weight, lose....and those who need to gain, gain?

 

HH, I LOVE the idea of losing weight, believe me.  But I know THE PRICE YOU PAID to lose those pounds!  Your anxiety was off the charts.  I remember how bad it was because it revved me up reading it!  That's a brutal way to lose weight.

[[Gr...]]

Happy Saturday!

I think I'm going to start writing my success story.  I am not 100%, still have a few twinges now and then, but the last several times that I have went to log on to check on this thread, I wrote my user name as "HealedHope" without meaning to.  I think it's probably a sign that it's time.     

 

Strangely, it feels like a daunting task and I'm not sure why.  For the past 2 years I have dreamed of feeling good enough that I would actually write a success story, and now that I've felt healed enough to do it for a while now, I am hesitant.  Weird... 

Maybe it's that it feels too scary to step back and really look at this past year?  I find myself distancing myself more and more from the thought of benzo withdrawal, even to the point of having to think about exactly how long I've been off them, rather than knowing it to the day as I did for so long.  My untold story seems to be hovering over me now, and it's time to start sketching it out. 

 

Love to you all!

 

HH, I can understand the hesitancy.  some ppl even have difficulty remembering.  but i'll bet when you do it, it will be cathartic.  You know we're all looking forward to reading it, to you being "healed"!

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... Happy Mother's Day to everyone ...

 

Well, for me ... seems like another day in the salt mines ... had this endless dream last night ... in a humungous "station" of some sort ... and was not allowed to leave until my name came up on the board ... waited and waited and waited ... sometime during the night the vibrations started and I woke up in a panic state ... lasted a while ... now in that limbo land of exhaustion and pressure ...

 

Guess I don't get healed today ... my name did not come up ... 

 

Have a good day ... 

[[No...]]

WORD FOR THE DAY

 

Sunday, May. 10

 

When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.

 

Helen Keller

 

[[be...]]

Morning all,

Nova, I wish the crazy dreams would move out to sea. You've had a rough night..hope the rest of your day goes better.

 

I woke to nerve pain in my left leg...I was rubbing it and felt so disconnected from my own leg..like it wasn't mine...I hate this stuff.

Husband is making me breakfast...boiled eggs and bacon...yummy!!

 

Happy Mothers Day!!

 

Healing in progress.

[[No...]]

Beulah .. yep ... healing in progress ... 

[[Co...]]

Nova,.  We still have a ways to go. .but our names are on the roster too.. I love your words for the day. ...Your presence here is such a gift to us.  Thank you for going the distance with us.  ...My morning is wavy too.  Head pressure and depression...but it feels like it is trying to untangle itself. One thing about depression is ...I am too disconnected and muddled to care about the things that torture me in anxiety.

...Trying to stay busy with fussing...My kids and grandsons are bringing Mother's Day lunch to my house after church...I hope I feel more present for them than I do now.

....Having said all of that, I was remembering where I was during taper and jumping...I am much better now but enduring different sx . Sometimes my mind tricks me into believing that I am not better...I feel sicker physically, but much better mentally...although that is all relative..." better mentally"  is not 60% of who I was before al of this...but 'here' is where I am and ' here' is where I will try to do my best.

.....Nova, ...hoping your day improves as it goes along.    coop

 

[[Co...]]

Beulah, ...I have had that sensation with my arm....as though it is not part of my body.. spooky.. I hope your nerve pain relents.  ..Beulah....Wishing you a happy loving  Mother's Day.. ..Next year we will be completely present in ourselves and going and doing anything we want to do...until then we will grab on to the better days .

....love to you Beulah.....coop

[[No...]]

Coop ... you will have a good lunch with your family ... enjoy your day ... 

[[be...]]

Beulah, ...I have had that sensation with my arm....as though it is not part of my body.. spooky.. I hope your nerve pain relents.  ..Beulah....Wishing you a happy loving  Mother's Day.. ..Next year we will be completely present in ourselves and going and doing anything we want to do...until then we will grab on to the better days .

....love to you Beulah.....coop

 

 

Coop..all of this stuff is spooky...but we shall overcome.

 

Enjoy your special day!!

[[Sk...]]

Happy Mother's day !

 

I am trying to catch up with the thread, I am reading the old posts.

 

Green ... regarding the weight ... I believe most of it so far is the water issue ... one thought I have had for a while centers around this idea of the benzo being a relaxant ... take them away and things contract ... and do not ebb and flow as they would normally ... and with healing moving along perhaps some of this ebb and flow is starting to return ... that was the issue I tried to get across to the morons regarding the lymph issue ... but what the hell do I know ...

 

I haven't done anything special reading diet or exercise ... hell, I haven't even been out in three days ... every time I go out lately I am getting smacked with sensory overload ...

 

And ... things are getting better ... slowly but surely ... my wife sees it and I trust her judgement ... I think we are just in the dog days of healing and things will get much better in the next few months ...

 

Happy Mother's Day ...

 

I lost  13 pounds in the six days in which I went CT at the hospital. Now, in the last 5 months, I don't appear to have lost weight, but my trousers and shorts are so loose on me, and they hadn't been loose on me in over 5 years.  I still have a belly.

 

So, I really don't know what is going on. And why would I ? I am way behind you guys, I am not savvy at  all.

 

All I can say, it that it might be a water issue, it probably is, but the anxiety everybody has been suffering must have taken its toll somehow.

 

 

[[Sk...]]

Nova...you have been through it. I totally agree, not only do individual meds have sx, combinations of drugs complicate the whole mess. I gained 10 pounds within 6 weeks of going on ativan...and much of it was fluid. I could see the swelling in my face and ankles. I was also taking mclazine for the ear condition . I went off the mclazine as I thought the ativan was the be all and end all for vertigo and anxiety ( which it was.  until about 6 weeks in when it wasnt)  I dropped the 10 pounds and the fluid when I dropped the mclazine. I tried to tell my ENT this.  He practically rolled his eyes at me. " fluid retention and weight gain is not a side effect of either one of the drugs you are taking".  Right in the patient insert for mclazine....fluid retention. ...also dizziness.  wait, I thought I was taking the mclazine to reduce vertigo.

    I agree with you and Beulah.  We are not stupid.  We know our bodies ( we live in them 24/7)  Now if I feel like something is causing me a side effect I believe myself . When I told my physician that propanolol caused me increased palpitations he insisted that couldn't be as it is often given for arrhythmias.  I insisted on a medication change.  sure enough switched to atenolol for b/p spikes and palps calmed down .. We know what we are talking about.

..  .That was a terrible circular misdiagnosis and wrong rx ..one after another in an awful loop . I am sorry that happened to you. I honestly believe that doctors do not know anything really about the drugs they prescribe.

  ..I hope you are having a better day . .. Yep, carry on...coop

 

Coop, how true, but if they don't know anything about the drugs they prescribe, they really have no business prescribing them, do they ?

 

 

Here, same old, same old. Only change the heat, and that affects me big time.

 

I had a lesson and the heat got so bad, my head started spinning and I got incredible nausea. And I had the webcam, so I had to keep on faking.

 

I had some bad moments today too but now I am ok. 

 

Before you guys say anything, AC in my house is not an option, electricity is very expensive in Italy and I can't afford it. BUt I really would need it.

 

I get tired easily so I am listening to my body very carefully and try not to push myself at all. Just my lessons and naps- a hamster on a wheel' s life. But hamsters are happy creatures too.

 

Today, we went to Ikea. I have to tell you that pre cold turkey, I would have done anything to avoid Ikea, I hated every single thing about it. Now, it's fun, go figure. So, I wonder, is this me or is it wd ? 

 

We bought a few things, small things, we bought an orange juice , freshly squeezed, it was the tastiest thing in this world. Now, I am lovingly looking at our purchases.

 

In the car, there was a moment in which the heat was too much and my heart was hurting and I could not breathe. I grabbed my thumb in my hand, as I read in Baylissa's book, the Jin Shin Jyutsu technique, while mr Sky turned on the AC and I did some breathing exercises till things got better.

 

So, tomorrow was ok, tomorrow probably will not and so on. And I will get tired, mentally and physically and I will despair, but things are getting better somehow.

 

My thoughts ramble, my memories crowd my brain, but if I can squeeze a smile in, here and there, it's ok.

 

So glad to hear HealingHope is getting so well that wd seems far away. And I think Drew might be getting better, who knows, he might be next ?

 

Speak later .