12-18 month support

[[Sk...]]

Sky, Beulah told me an easier breathing strategy....relax the belly ...expand the belly when inhaling rather than expanding the chest so much...it works...Nova told me.  if I am not blue and passing out I am breathing and ok...both are helpful...coop

 

Coop, your strategy is fine. If only I could concentrate long enough to actually do it for more that a minute ! Among other things, I know this technique, I was a flutist and this was the way I had to breathe to play well.

 

Oh well, this too shall get better. 

[[Sk...]]

Sky-- last month my cycle was worse than I can remember.. We must be on the same track, because I'm due any day and my mood is suffering from it. Just want you to know I'm right there with ya 

 

Thanks Jenny. I am feeling really blue, it means a lot. 

 

I hate to be taking it out on my loved ones, too . 

[[Co...]]

Hi Jenny.  So sorry you are in the soup too. Do you have the breathing thing too?  It's practically debilitating.  This second year thing is so discouraging.  I feel like I will be either be better or dead by the 24 month mark. 

....On a good note...I slept better last night than I have in months and months with real REM dreams and deep sleep. I was ok for and hour and then the dizziness and anxiety just folded over me out of nowhere.  Hoping for some breaks today.  for all of us.  Love to you....coop

[[be...]]

Sky, Beulah told me an easier breathing strategy....relax the belly ...expand the belly when inhaling rather than expanding the chest so much...it works...Nova told me.  if I am not blue and passing out I am breathing and ok...both are helpful...coop

 

Yes, it took me months of chest breathing to read on here somewhere that the belly breathing is so much better and healthier....it takes practice.

 

Just like the breath holding...we don't really notice that we sometimes do it.

 

It's like we have to learn to breathe all over again...we can do it!!

[[Co...]]

Sky...I know...my concentration is spotty too...I had no idea that you are a flutist...I love the flute ..so beautiful and soulnsoothing...feel better Sky....coop

[[be...]]

Jenny..I was just reading your post about in some ways ..last year was better with the symptoms.

I feel the same way sometimes. I don't think we are getting worse or anything such as that...but what I do think is ...some of symptoms are better and some less intense ones are gone...leaving the remaining ones to feel more pronounced. I think we heal in stages of layers...one layer at a time being peeled away....this seems to be the way of my healing.

 

[[Gr...]]

Hi Green, ..I think he meant that they would not work for me in the future beyond a one time dose like in a clinical setting like for a surgery. He gave me 2.5 for my panic and b/p in the office...and offered me 3 additional doses ( which I declined) to take home....with the warning that more than that would put me back to tolerance.  And that would hold true for the rest of my life. I think he meant anything more than a couple doses in a row is like reinstating and reinstating doesn't work at all like the first therapy of anti-anxieties

....Does that make any sense? ..I believe him because that 2.5 v was only effective for about 2 hours and then all my anxiety came back..My b/p stayed down, but he also had me take a larger dose of my atenolol in the office.....Me too, I am totally convinced that  a)...ativan will not have the same effect for me that it did....and.  b)  even at a lesser effect I could very easily be physically dependent again...and probably psychologically drpendent. His position is that the real problem beyond the physical hell of w/d is the even more difficult 'w/d' of believing that there is some drug out there that will stop panics and anxiety. The hardest part ( according to him...and I agree) is changing that thought process...which is hard because it was such a miracle drug when we first took it....and in a panic we feel like we will die if er or the doctor doesn't give us something

....well that was a long rambling answer

...I just know that 2.5 v did pretty much nothing for my tsunami panic...so it has to be up to my mind ...

....My only hope is that when I am healed I won't have the anxiety and panics...I didn't have them before ...How are you doing?....coop

 

Coop, that's not a ramble at all, that is so right on!  I feel that, I know it instinctively, that my brain has changed, that I may heal 100%, but I can never take these safely again.  I mean, the doctor has such a good point, that the more important thing is not thinking there's something out there that will cure or take away anxiety or panic.  I don't need a doctor to tell me that, I know what happened,, I was extremely ill with tolerance less than two years after I started taking Xanax for sleep, only .5 mg at bedtime.  I mean, think how crazy it is that we even think to reinstate?  How can we so easily forget how we got here in the first place?

 

What a great doctor.  He's a keeper.

[[Gr...]]

Green.  The other shoe might not ever drop. You are far enough out that you don't have to automatically expect months more of this. ...I agree....there are just not enough goid days. It is exhausting to try to have any kind of life .. I miss my old life every day ....and I think I feel worse than I did last year...I just keep holding on to HH's progress ...and all the success stories that say they were miserable...and then they were not..  ..I was in bed today too with fatigue and anxiety. I have that 'can't breathe ' thing that Nova talks about. I keep trying to take these huge breaths.  That makes it worse and makes me twice as tired...having said all that .. yesterday was really better. .today not...hoping for a better day again tomorrow.  .for all of us....coop

 

Oh, Coop, this is so hard.  Here we are a year and a half later and not in good shape at all!  I feel bad complaining, because I don't have that can't-breathe horrible anxiety that you are getting, that HH had, but my quality of life is not so good.  I'm dragging myself, tired.  I keep thinking I feel so lousy now, am I going to be popped into an anxiety wave?  and I'm afraid to complain lest it get worse!

 

I am so sorry you are in bed.  Here it is 1 p.m. and I'm not dressed yet, still on the couch.  Yes, I functioned better at this time last year.  I functioned better before the M17 wave.  and so did you.  it seems like every time we feel better, we feel like we're getting close, we start making plans to do more, we get smashed, back to bed, lose all the gains.  I am so sorry to be negative.  I know we're close.  It's just hard to see it some days.

[[Gr...]]

Green--sounds like we are on the same page, symptom-wise.  Out of the past five days, I had one good one.  I'm just very fatigued.

 

I just counted on my fingers, you're at M20?  fatigue is common, and they say it ends, everyone I've spoken to.  I think I might be mildly depressed, too.  usually I feel more upbeat.  I'll shake it.  feel better

[[Gr...]]

Mike and Nova....I am on your trave today. Yesterday was better....dizziness and anxiety is trying to trick me into my incessant health anxiety. I am not going there willingly. Just managing to float above it with distractions...puttering, walking the dog, tv, ( too anxious to focus on a book) . Visiting with all of you. Yesterday started out like this and lifted later in the day.  Crossing my fingers. Nova, I have that air hunger thing you describe as " faux asthma".. do you find yourself just trying to take huge breaths in kind of unnatural way.. literally kind of sucking in air?.. It's driving me nuts and trying to get me to focus on it. I am doing my best to ignore it. I actually think my ribs and back are sore from expanding my chest so big in that unnatural gulping of air.

  ....Mike.. adding to my comment to Nova..  I also think I might have an upper respiratory thing going on because of the air gulping and sore ribs ...going in next week for a chest x-ray just for reassurance.

....yep...you are healing either way. Your post reminds me of Beulah's bout of bronchitis and feeling the healing on both fronts..  w/d and bronchitis...

....I have waves of anxiety and a few intrusive doomy thoughts going on, but trying to ignore it. ...How did it go yesterday at the bouncy house?.  Boy, I miss those days with my children.. now even my grandsons are on to things for older children like soccer, theater for children and one is a beginning debate team ...How old is your little one?

.....hoping your day unfolds towards continued better feeling....coop

.

 

About the faux asthma, maybe I know what you guys mean. Never thought of it as asthma though. To me if feels more like hol ding my breath and not wanting to breathe, being too scared to do that.

I tried doing the breathing exercises Coop suggested, but after the third time, my mind starts to wander and I revert to the holding breath routine.

Odd to say the least.

 

My other shoe has dropped, my period is about to begin. The last two days have been very bad.

 

My last period was beyond bearable, the pain in the ovaries was incredibly strong. This is said by someone who did not notice she had a ruptured appendix, I am very strong with pain.

 

So, as you can tell, I am overwhelmed. All I can do, is the same as always, work, distract with my activities and sleep.

 

I am reading my copy of Baylissa's book, it's simple enough for me to read. Lots of advice. I am proud to see that many things I was able to figure out by myself the hard way.

 

In one passage, she says the windows get longer, the waves shorter. I have not got that yet, quite the contrary, so I guess I still have a lot  of healing to do.

 

A new element of my routine, is to get up and take a 4-5 mile walk before breakfast at full speed. Hard, but I return feeling more refreshed mentally. And it's quite beautiful to see the town wake up.

 

Everybody, I am tired and discouraged. 

 

Have  a nicer day everybody.

 

Sky, when you say you are strong with pain, managed a ruptured appendix, I relate.  People tell me to just push myself.  I want to scream at them, are you kidding?  I ran the NYC marathon.  I know how to push.  I know about no pain, no gain.  I climbed Mt. Kili in mild tolerance, with faux asthma causing whistling noises in my breathing while I slept in the tent, real altitude issues, which now I think may well have been withdrawal, our faux asthma.  And what I am dealing with now has brought me to my knees.  Withdrawal is unbelievable, in terms of the levels, levels of pain, levels of fatigue, levels of not-real mental thoughts, crazy-ass bizarre  symptoms we routinely ignore -- I mean strange unfamiliar physical sensations that would send anyone, and us before withdrawal, running screaming to the emergency room. 

 

Do not forget for one minute how strong a person has to be to withstand this, to survive it, to get up every morning and deal with life, how hard it is, and how long we have been doing it.  and then take a break, stop expecting still more from yourself, and give yourself a pat on the back for surviving this.

[[Sk...]]

Mike and Nova....I am on your trave today. Yesterday was better....dizziness and anxiety is trying to trick me into my incessant health anxiety. I am not going there willingly. Just managing to float above it with distractions...puttering, walking the dog, tv, ( too anxious to focus on a book) . Visiting with all of you. Yesterday started out like this and lifted later in the day.  Crossing my fingers. Nova, I have that air hunger thing you describe as " faux asthma".. do you find yourself just trying to take huge breaths in kind of unnatural way.. literally kind of sucking in air?.. It's driving me nuts and trying to get me to focus on it. I am doing my best to ignore it. I actually think my ribs and back are sore from expanding my chest so big in that unnatural gulping of air.

  ....Mike.. adding to my comment to Nova..  I also think I might have an upper respiratory thing going on because of the air gulping and sore ribs ...going in next week for a chest x-ray just for reassurance.

....yep...you are healing either way. Your post reminds me of Beulah's bout of bronchitis and feeling the healing on both fronts..  w/d and bronchitis...

....I have waves of anxiety and a few intrusive doomy thoughts going on, but trying to ignore it. ...How did it go yesterday at the bouncy house?.  Boy, I miss those days with my children.. now even my grandsons are on to things for older children like soccer, theater for children and one is a beginning debate team ...How old is your little one?

.....hoping your day unfolds towards continued better feeling....coop

.

 

About the faux asthma, maybe I know what you guys mean. Never thought of it as asthma though. To me if feels more like hol ding my breath and not wanting to breathe, being too scared to do that.

I tried doing the breathing exercises Coop suggested, but after the third time, my mind starts to wander and I revert to the holding breath routine.

Odd to say the least.

 

My other shoe has dropped, my period is about to begin. The last two days have been very bad.

 

My last period was beyond bearable, the pain in the ovaries was incredibly strong. This is said by someone who did not notice she had a ruptured appendix, I am very strong with pain.

 

So, as you can tell, I am overwhelmed. All I can do, is the same as always, work, distract with my activities and sleep.

 

I am reading my copy of Baylissa's book, it's simple enough for me to read. Lots of advice. I am proud to see that many things I was able to figure out by myself the hard way.

 

In one passage, she says the windows get longer, the waves shorter. I have not got that yet, quite the contrary, so I guess I still have a lot  of healing to do.

 

A new element of my routine, is to get up and take a 4-5 mile walk before breakfast at full speed. Hard, but I return feeling more refreshed mentally. And it's quite beautiful to see the town wake up.

 

Everybody, I am tired and discouraged. 

 

Have  a nicer day everybody.

 

Sky, when you say you are strong with pain, managed a ruptured appendix, I relate.  People tell me to just push myself.  I want to scream at them, are you kidding?  I ran the NYC marathon.  I know how to push.  I know about no pain, no gain.  I climbed Mt. Kili in mild tolerance, with faux asthma causing whistling noises in my breathing while I slept in the tent, real altitude issues, which now I think may well have been withdrawal, our faux asthma.  And what I am dealing with now has brought me to my knees.  Withdrawal is unbelievable, in terms of the levels, levels of pain, levels of fatigue, levels of not-real mental thoughts, crazy-ass bizarre  symptoms we routinely ignore -- I mean strange unfamiliar physical sensations that would send anyone, and us before withdrawal, running screaming to the emergency room. 

 

Do not forget for one minute how strong a person has to be to withstand this, to survive it, to get up every morning and deal with life, how hard it is, and how long we have been doing it.  and then take a break, stop expecting still more from yourself, and give yourself a pat on the back for surviving this.

 

Sue, now you have made me cry a little. Thanks.

 

Btw, i just put your Pm in a Evernote reminder note for next week , I know I will be needing a reminder !

[[Gr...]]

Happy Sunday, as Nova would say.

 

As I posted, fatigue is the biggie, and I guess some mental symptoms, depression, irritability.  And I do frequently throughout the day get that I think I'm getting a panic attack feeling, then the body flush and the tingling, and the full body break into a sweat, and it passes.  I don't mind those, except they keep me on my toes waiting for the real deal.

 

These are dog days of withdrawal, sounds like we all have something going on.

 

Have the best day possible, all!

 

Mike, my den mother days are some of the best memories I have.  I had a lot of fun with those boys.  Enjoy, it goes so fast.

[[Co...]]

Hi Green, yes, when that 2.5 v have me no more relief than 2 hours of very little relief before my all my anxiety (  but not the sheer panic)  I knew in the very depths of my soul that a benzo was never going to help me ever again....and probably make me worse ..Beulah wrote me and said that she would expect some acute like sx to maybe surface 7 or so days after that little dose...and my anxiety has been worse since that 2.5.  Who knows. I just know there is nothing I can do to make any of this better except to survive it.. one stinkin' day at a time. I am working on bitterness. I have never been bitter...but it is really hard to not be bitter after more than 2 years if I count tolerance, tapering and w/d..  but that's all water under the bridge...today is today. I can only live my life one day at a time..

.....Yes. he is a good doctor and understands tolerance, but he doesn't really believe I am still in w/d...he had the GAD mindset...I cut him slack for that because he is so good about everything else. He totally respects and agrees with my decisions about not taking medications and supports me in that.

.....I can hear your deep fatigue...physically and mentally. Green I honestly do not think you are going to be this fatigued  all the way out to month 24. ...So many of us have been on the couch or in bed for months. ..I know you have been active when you could..I think all that will come back. I think you have had more true with depression and fatigue than anxiety....up until now. You could go the rest if the way with more cycling of fatigue and maybe no more waves if anxiety. I have struggled with anxiety and panic and now late in healing those seem to be what my waves are all about...it's just a guess..  but try not to anticipate the kind of anxiety and panic that tortures me and Jenny and Sky.. it seems to be our w/d Achilles heel.....

......Green, it kills me that you and Nova and Sky are getting hit so bad.. Thank goodness we all have each other.  I am wishing all of us some sunbreaks today.. love to you....coop

[[Gr...]]

Mike and Nova....I am on your trave today. Yesterday was better....dizziness and anxiety is trying to trick me into my incessant health anxiety. I am not going there willingly. Just managing to float above it with distractions...puttering, walking the dog, tv, ( too anxious to focus on a book) . Visiting with all of you. Yesterday started out like this and lifted later in the day.  Crossing my fingers. Nova, I have that air hunger thing you describe as " faux asthma".. do you find yourself just trying to take huge breaths in kind of unnatural way.. literally kind of sucking in air?.. It's driving me nuts and trying to get me to focus on it. I am doing my best to ignore it. I actually think my ribs and back are sore from expanding my chest so big in that unnatural gulping of air.

  ....Mike.. adding to my comment to Nova..  I also think I might have an upper respiratory thing going on because of the air gulping and sore ribs ...going in next week for a chest x-ray just for reassurance.

....yep...you are healing either way. Your post reminds me of Beulah's bout of bronchitis and feeling the healing on both fronts..  w/d and bronchitis...

....I have waves of anxiety and a few intrusive doomy thoughts going on, but trying to ignore it. ...How did it go yesterday at the bouncy house?.  Boy, I miss those days with my children.. now even my grandsons are on to things for older children like soccer, theater for children and one is a beginning debate team ...How old is your little one?

.....hoping your day unfolds towards continued better feeling....coop

.

 

About the faux asthma, maybe I know what you guys mean. Never thought of it as asthma though. To me if feels more like hol ding my breath and not wanting to breathe, being too scared to do that.

I tried doing the breathing exercises Coop suggested, but after the third time, my mind starts to wander and I revert to the holding breath routine.

Odd to say the least.

 

My other shoe has dropped, my period is about to begin. The last two days have been very bad.

 

My last period was beyond bearable, the pain in the ovaries was incredibly strong. This is said by someone who did not notice she had a ruptured appendix, I am very strong with pain.

 

So, as you can tell, I am overwhelmed. All I can do, is the same as always, work, distract with my activities and sleep.

 

I am reading my copy of Baylissa's book, it's simple enough for me to read. Lots of advice. I am proud to see that many things I was able to figure out by myself the hard way.

 

In one passage, she says the windows get longer, the waves shorter. I have not got that yet, quite the contrary, so I guess I still have a lot  of healing to do.

 

A new element of my routine, is to get up and take a 4-5 mile walk before breakfast at full speed. Hard, but I return feeling more refreshed mentally. And it's quite beautiful to see the town wake up.

 

Everybody, I am tired and discouraged. 

 

Have  a nicer day everybody.

 

Sky, when you say you are strong with pain, managed a ruptured appendix, I relate.  People tell me to just push myself.  I want to scream at them, are you kidding?  I ran the NYC marathon.  I know how to push.  I know about no pain, no gain.  I climbed Mt. Kili in mild tolerance, with faux asthma causing whistling noises in my breathing while I slept in the tent, real altitude issues, which now I think may well have been withdrawal, our faux asthma.  And what I am dealing with now has brought me to my knees.  Withdrawal is unbelievable, in terms of the levels, levels of pain, levels of fatigue, levels of not-real mental thoughts, crazy-ass bizarre  symptoms we routinely ignore -- I mean strange unfamiliar physical sensations that would send anyone, and us before withdrawal, running screaming to the emergency room. 

 

Do not forget for one minute how strong a person has to be to withstand this, to survive it, to get up every morning and deal with life, how hard it is, and how long we have been doing it.  and then take a break, stop expecting still more from yourself, and give yourself a pat on the back for surviving this.

 

Sue, now you have made me cry a little. Thanks.

 

Btw, i just put your Pm in a Evernote reminder note for next week , I know I will be needing a reminder !

 

I reread it and made myself tear up, lol.  I think I needed to hear that, too.   We'll get there.

[[Co...]]

Green, you said it..."the dog days of w/d"...that says it all...coop

[[Gr...]]

Hi Green, yes, when that 2.5 v have me no more relief than 2 hours of very little relief before my all my anxiety (  but not the sheer panic)  I knew in the very depths of my soul that a benzo was never going to help me ever again....and probably make me worse ..Beulah wrote me and said that she would expect some acute like sx to maybe surface 7 or so days after that little dose...and my anxiety has been worse since that 2.5.  Who knows. I just know there is nothing I can do to make any of this better except to survive it.. one stinkin' day at a time. I am working on bitterness. I have never been bitter...but it is really hard to not be bitter after more than 2 years if I count tolerance, tapering and w/d..  but that's all water under the bridge...today is today. I can only live my life one day at a time..

.....Yes. he is a good doctor and understands tolerance, but he doesn't really believe I am still in w/d...he had the GAD mindset...I cut him slack for that because he is so good about everything else. He totally respects and agrees with my decisions about not taking medications and supports me in that.

.....I can hear your deep fatigue...physically and mentally. Green I honestly do not think you are going to be this fatigued  all the way out to month 24. ...So many of us have been on the couch or in bed for months. ..I know you have been active when you could..I think all that will come back. I think you have had more true with depression and fatigue than anxiety....up until now. You could go the rest if the way with more cycling of fatigue and maybe no more waves if anxiety. I have struggled with anxiety and panic and now late in healing those seem to be what my waves are all about...it's just a guess..  but try not to anticipate the kind of anxiety and panic that tortures me and Jenny and Sky.. it seems to be our w/d Achilles heel.....

......Green, it kills me that you and Nova and Sky are getting hit so bad.. Thank goodness we all have each other.  I am wishing all of us some sunbreaks today.. love to you....coop

 

Coop, very good post.  Yes, I zoned in on your response to that 2.5.  I wondered about how it worked and am not surprised that it didn't, or for a very short time.  And so it was a good experience, because you had the knowledge that you can never take these again reinforced.  I have seen so many people reinstate, I find it shocking.  but then I think that could be me, be very careful, I say that to myself.  I can blame my doctor and Big Pharma the first time around.  Now it's all on me, I know better.

 

The bitterness.  Coop, once we feel better, that feeling is a dim memory.  You will be so happy this is over and just busy living your life.

 

Hopefully things get a little better after month 18?  Did I hear that somewhere?  I wish we had more accurate information on these months.

 

I think the important thing is to try to live as best we can, whatever we're capable of. 

 

Feel better, friend.  I am so very grateful for every one of you.

[[je...]]

Jenny..I was just reading your post about in some ways ..last year was better with the symptoms.

I feel the same way sometimes. I don't think we are getting worse or anything such as that...but what I do think is ...some of symptoms are better and some less intense ones are gone...leaving the remaining ones to feel more pronounced. I think we heal in stages of layers...one layer at a time being peeled away....this seems to be the way of my healing.

 

 

Beulah, yes I think you are right.. There are some sx I used to have that I completely forgot about, some that are very mild and others that keep hanging around. I wish these layers would hurry up! Thanks Beulah 

[[je...]]

Hi Jenny.  So sorry you are in the soup too. Do you have the breathing thing too?  It's practically debilitating.  This second year thing is so discouraging.  I feel like I will be either be better or dead by the 24 month mark. 

....On a good note...I slept better last night than I have in months and months with real REM dreams and deep sleep. I was ok for and hour and then the dizziness and anxiety just folded over me out of nowhere.  Hoping for some breaks today.  for all of us.  Love to you....coop

 

 

Coop, my breathing is much better I only get the fake asthma thing on rare occasion. My breathing was bad everyday for about 2 years during tolerance and first year of w/d... If it can go away for me, it will go away for you. Glad your sleep was good last night, that always helps. Thanks Coop, jenny

[[Co...]]

Peeps....beware of thiazide based diuretics...I was prescribed atenolol and hydrochlorothiazide ( diuretic) for my b/p from my panic... guess what...these diuretics can cause pulmonary edema and also effect heart arrythmia...as well as guess what...dizziness and nausea...these are no inconsequential simple ' water pills'...they can be dangerous and there are other less risky diuretics....as well as foods that promote fluid release.. I know I am not being paranoid or ' suggestable...oh, they can also cause wonky vision due to ' angle' disruptions...I wrote my sx down and didn't look at the side effects list until after I identified my current sx (  to avoid that suggestable reaction)...They they all were including the wild nasea , dizziness and anorexia). ...Doing some research h ( ' Google research') on thiazides...I won't be taking that one ever again...it has a side effect list as long as your arm...

......If you are prescribed a diuretic  research it carefully.  ..coop

[[pe...]]

Hey Coop-

Good on you for doing some reasonable research. I think the lesson is that most, if not all, pharmaceuticals come with sideffects. I don't for see ever taking anything from a pharmacy ever again. I'm using food and old home remedies for everything that comes our way. My husband has even started making homemade laundry and dish detergent. And I don't think it's paranoid. I think we live in a country (USA) where profit takes precedence over all else. So many of the chemicals we use in all kinds of products are banned in other parts of the world, and for good reason.

 

Sorry for the rant. Hope you get major relief sooner than soon.

Peace2

[[No...]]

Good Evening ... started getting knocked around in the middle of the night last night ... and things have not let up yet ... seems I am in a full body nerve storm ... lots of zaps and twitches ... and knots showing up off and on all over ... and of course the anxiety ...

 

In a word ... yuk ... and I am pretty exhausted ... really quite fascinating how a body can go through this stuff hour after hour and not just collapse ... must be something else going on as well that I am not aware of ...

 

Oh well ... hope you all are doing okay today ...

[[pe...]]

Sorry to hear it Nova. It just seems downright criminal to be suffering so much so far out. This stuff has to start turning around soon.

 

Braver than brave to do this everyday.

[[Co...]]

Thanks Peace...I was hoping that was not a hysterical post. I was shocked at the list of possible side effects. They are used without a second thought as adjunct treatment with b/p meds because b/p meds can cause fluid retention...it just goes on and on. Who would think  a diuretic could be dangerous...I will be juicing cucumber and celery and watermelon from now on for fluid retention ( which I don't think I have)  I am totally convinced to take the genetic marker test for meds that I shouldn't take. I am quickly turning into one of those people that is seriously afraid of medication.. it seems that I have reactions to most of the stuff thats been prescribed to me. ...I am with you.  Food as medicine and I am not taking anything without researching it myself. I know that in serious situations drugs are life saving, but I think like benzos...most meds should be given in clinical settings....not just prescribed as a fast fix for every small thing .  I know several people who are diabetic ...they are all type 2 diabetic and could control thier diabetes with food but they opt for insulin because it is more convenient. .well blah blah .  Talk about a rant.  ..and good for your husband for making dish and laundry detergent.  The parabans  etc in the commercial stuff are disruptive to our endocrine systems.  Well blah blah ....good to see you Peace...love to you MightyGirl....coop

[[No...]]

Peace ... yes we are ... and a little worn out as well ... oh well, someday soon ... 

[[al...]]

well everyone no depression or anxiety today..i went out to the mall and shopped i'm so proud.. i hope i don't pay for it tomorrow..