12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

You too Nova.....Wishing you some decent rest....

[[No...]]

Hi Coop ... I'm back ... boy this stuff sure does not have any respect for the day/night cycle ... and that little thing called sleep ...

[[Co...]]

Well that didn't take long Nova...sorry you are still sleepless in NovaScotia....this stuff is relentless.. do you have your tea going? ...Are you still thick in the cog fog...so sorry Nova...

.......Wishing you some peace Nova....coop

[[Co...]]

Mrs. ...How can we not feel lonely sometimes in this mess. No one can possibly relate to what any of this feels like....and we are trapped inside of our d/r or anxiety or cog fog...cut off from the world in any meaningful way...We feel alone.....because a great deal of the time we are alone. and it's part of the w/d depression ...well don't you feel better now. ..lol...sorry. I am still all over the map with emotions...

....I didn't realize how long you have been in the Benzo club...with tolerance, taper and w/d. ..You have been at this for awhile...You are allowed to cry and complain..

...You are not alone Mrs.  We are all here...and it is good to see you when you post.  ..You really are doing so good....coop

[[No...]]

Just sitting here ... cruising ... some tea, my quiet music, and the fireplace on the tv ... whatever is going on doesn't seem to want any distraction input tonight ...

 

Hopefully I will just nod off at some point ...

 

In two minutes it will be Spring in Nova Scotia ... would someone please communicate that to the weather gods? ...

 

Talk again tomorrow ... going to log out ...

[[He...]]

Hello from Boston!

A quick check-in before I crash. I just finished up Day 2 and things are going great! I did not panic on the flights, even when landing in Boston was very bumpy because of the high winds. I had an absolutely packed day today, on the go from 8:00 this morning until 9:30 tonight, and I have had no symptoms bothering me.

 

I'm literally falling asleep as I type so I'm going to post this and get some zzzzzz. So far, so good, and I'm beyond thrilled that I decided to come!! 

 

Love to you all,

HH

[[je...]]

Hi Mrs,

I can so relate to how you are feeling, and the irritable thing is my middle name. My poor family has to deal with my moods constantly which I feel so guilty about. The lonely feeling is quite normal. I remember when I was about 3 months out having this overwhelming feeling of sadness and deep loneliness-- its one of the very hard parts of w/d. Just realize that its not the true you, its just another w/d sx . Hang tight and just know that this will all pass for you. I think we all get tired and frustrated with where we are in our recovery. I see a lot of improvements  with myself, but yet I'm still not where I expected to be at 18 months out-- its so frustrating. I think it all comes back to acceptance and getting support from all our buddies. We are all gonna make it! You are always so positive and uplifting of others, but you also need to be supported as well, so don't feel bad about venting  jenny

[[Co...]]

HH....that is just wonderful...I could not be happier for you. Such an encouragement... Enjoy...thanks for posting. I was thinking of you yesterday wondering how things were going for you....keep having a great time....coop

[[mr...]]

Thanks Coop, Nova, & Jenny

 

I'm doing alright, and I hate to ever complain. I mean sheesh - here I am, working, hanging with friends, exercising, etc - I mean, it could be a lot worse...it used to be a lot worse, you know? Just READY to be normal again! Blah-blah, boo-hoo. Alrighty then. 'Nuff whining.

 

Thanks for your responses so much. It means a lot to me Heading to bed soon ~ sleep well friends

 

Mrs.

 

And PS: Yay HH!

[[Gr...]]

 

Hello from Boston!

A quick check-in before I crash. I just finished up Day 2 and things are going great! I did not panic on the flights, even when landing in Boston was very bumpy because of the high winds. I had an absolutely packed day today, on the go from 8:00 this morning until 9:30 tonight, and I have had no symptoms bothering me.

 

I'm literally falling asleep as I type so I'm going to post this and get some zzzzzz. So far, so good, and I'm beyond thrilled that I decided to come!! 

 

Love to you all,

HH

 

:yippee: :clap: :clap:

[[Gr...]]

Hi. As it's 2 days since my post on here of the 17th, when only NovaScotia replied, does this mean that no one else has experienced any of the sxs I listed - If so,  am really worried now as I thought more people would have had at least some of the same sxs. And no one has responded saying how they were at 15 months out, so I  no longer feel reassured it isn't just me feeling so wretched.

 

Sorry to moan - but anxiety now high.

 

 

Sometimes posts get skipped over because this thread moves pretty quickly. I have not read your previous post so I'm not sure what exact sx  you have, but I will say that month 15/16 were BAD for me. Loads of head pressure and burning brain sensations, nerve pain, muscle weakness, massive fatigue. Try not to worry too much, I'm sure everything your dealing with is just "normal" w d stuff. Jenny

 

God, Jenny, I'm so glad you/re here/were here tonight.  the last week of 15, all of 16, really tough.  And then there's that week where it feels almost like acute, very intense chemical cortisol, the anxiety.  and now back to heavy DR.  Things are cycling very fast.  I sure hope this passes

 

So now that you're in month 19, passed 18, can we get an update?  I know you struggled with anxiety at the dentist.  is it the same as when it's happened in the past?  anything different, worse, better?  Sorry I'm a little intense, lol.  do you feel more healing, in spite of the recent anxiety?  Are you still climbing your mountain?  still have the fatigue?

[[Gr...]]

Hi Jenny....I don't want to hijack your post to Drew, ...but how are you doing now? ...Has your anxiety eased? ...I really hope so.....coop

 

Hi Coop,

My anxiety is better today, but I slept horrible last night and have a lot of adrenaline pumping through me which is making me feel uneasy in my skin. Right now I have a lot of head pressure with a low grade headache. Sounds like we're all in the soup today... Jenny 

 

Oh, boy, that answers my question.  I just sent you a long post that was like a deposition, wanting to know how you were starting month 19.  Okay, let's hope this passes really quick.

[[Gr...]]

Coop ... things are revving pretty good ... so all I can do is sit here and wait for it to pass ... can't even do puzzles right now ... and things are a little dizzy ...

 

Nova, I hope this passes for you soon.  I never expected the second year to be so hard. I can understand why people give up in the second year.  I mean I never would, not after all of this, but I can see why people get exhausted, give up, and go back on.  Feel better, M.

[[je...]]

Hi Green,

I'm definitely better than year one and some things, like my nerve pain and breathing are much improved. The anxiety thing has been with me now for about 5 weeks, some days worse than others. I was very anxious pre benzo so its hard to tell what's me and what's w/d, ya know? Overall I'm feeling better with the typical sx  cycling around just not as intense. My fatigue seems to come and go, but yes I still have days I'm couch bound. The hiking is still going good, but again I will have a day here or there that its harder for me-- and I know that its got to be w/d. Hope your wave breaks soon  jenny

[[No...]]

HH ... you bring a smile to an old fella's somewhat bedraggled face this morning ... so happy for you ... 

[[No...]]

Well, good morning ... haven't spent a night like that in a while ... sheeeeeeesh ...

 

And that's a good sign, I hope ... maybe a couple of hours of busted sleep and woke up in "lousy land" ... and I have been in worse places ... hoping to get out in some sunshine later today ...

 

Good news ... we are still getting Saturday's storm, but Tuesday's storm will only affect the fishes ... and there seems to be a slight warming trend forecast ...

 

So, that's my report from the trenches ... have a good Friday ... I insist ... 

[[No...]]

Green ... I know the "intense" place ... it is just another piece of this vast geography ... hope you find some sunshine today ... 

[[Sk...]]

*lol...not omelet*...Auto Correct must be hungry...ride...dizzy ride*

 

Coop has the best auto corrects! I've laughed out loud at them on occasion. I think they would also make an excellent benzo bedside reading book, right next to Nova's. Coop's book of autocorrects for when you need a dose of laughter and Nova's book of wisdom when you need a bit of that. What a great team! So glad for you both.

 

I do love Coop's auto corrects ! And " dizzy omelette" is so fitting with how I am feeling today !  I am vibrating, my heart is doing the vibrating thingy, felt too bad to watch the eclipse, so I really do feel like a dizzy omelette !

I am trying to  catch up with the thread now, and then  I have a few lessons. See you later and heal on.

[[Sk...]]

Really considering cancelling lessons, this is really a lot. It almost feels like I am moving when I stay still, the vibrations are so strong.

 

I am not saying more, too many details don't do any good and surely do nothing to diminish it,which is what I would really like !

 

Take care, everybody. I read so many posts, remember none and now my head is mush and I don't really know what I am writing.

 

HH, thanks for sharing, it is so encouraging.

[[No...]]

Sky ... was just thinking of you and there you were ...

 

Yes ... feeling like you are moving when you are standing still ... hard stuff to be with ... and we will get through this ... hoping things settle down for me ... take care, my friend ...

 

[[Sk...]]

Thanks Nova. My lesson had to be rescheduled for technical issues, I have two in an hour and a half, so I will try to get some rest, rest from what ? you know what I mean ? but, this is when I need most rest, in times like  this when i am a "vibrant" little girl !

[[No...]]

Sky ... you are a vibrant little girl ... who right now has a vibration thingie going on ... and when they leave you will still be vibrant ... have a good rest ...

[[No...]]

Spent the morning training one snow flake to melt ... took three hours ... gonna work on another one this afternoon ... it's a start ... 

[[Gr...]]

Hi Green,

I'm definitely better than year one and some things, like my nerve pain and breathing are much improved. The anxiety thing has been with me now for about 5 weeks, some days worse than others. I was very anxious pre benzo so its hard to tell what's me and what's w/d, ya know? Overall I'm feeling better with the typical sx  cycling around just not as intense. My fatigue seems to come and go, but yes I still have days I'm couch bound. The hiking is still going good, but again I will have a day here or there that its harder for me-- and I know that its got to be w/d. Hope your wave breaks soon  jenny

 

Okay, it sounds like it's slowly winding down, with certain symptoms rearing their ugly heads at different points?  I followed you with the breathing, I remember when it happened to me thinking about you, that you posted you had it.  And that helped me so  much to cope with it, with less fear, knowing it's a sx, that you had it.  As it's been with this whole process.  The fact we share this crazy stuff here helps us know it's withdrawal, don't go running to the doctor, because the ones I have certainly don't offer reassurance, it's more likely meds they're offering, and not good meds.  After this run-in with my therapist, I'm more grateful than ever for the support on this thread.  I never would have believed in myself and stuck this out, without support and information from the people here.

 

As far as the anxiety, from here, I think it's a symptom.  Just the fact you're doubting it's withdrawal, thinking it's you, sounds like wave thinking to me.  I find that now a lot of symptoms of waves are harder to spot, especially the mental ones, we fear "it's us."  Remember Life for Me, that was always his question, is this me?

 

No, I don't think it's you.  I think it's a tail wind of a wave, and you're very close to being out of this, to being done.

 

I'll keep plodding away at the cycling.  Hopefully some days will be easier.

 

Thank you! 

[[Gr...]]

Green ... I know the "intense" place ... it is just another piece of this vast geography ... hope you find some sunshine today ... 

 

Thank you, Nova!  You, too.

 

Sky, yes, this is extremely difficult, I hear ya.

 

Feel better, everyone.