12-18 month support

[[No...]]

Drew ... I never clicked on that was Homer Simpson ... just thought it was a fat gut who feel out of his canoe ... need to clean my glasses ...

[[No...]]

racksha ... good for you being 15 months out ... this has been a lot of hard work for you ... and you sound like are getting occasional breaks ...

 

Everything you list I am familiar with ... and some of it still going on today ...

 

Couple of thoughts ... I used to be able to time my panic episodes damn near to the second ... 52 minutes ... not so anymore ... I have had them last for days, shifting in intensity ... the same can be said for anxiety for me ...

 

This has now become, for me, a bit of an endurance contest ... with Time as my ally ... and I am slowly, gradually getting better ... although some days I have my deep doubts about that ...

 

We are healing, healing takes time, we are all unique ... and if we stay with this process we will come out the other side ... nobody gets left behind ...

 

Please feel welcome here ... we are a diverse, compassionate, and very experienced group ...

 

Hope this helps a bit ... 

[[Sk...]]

Hi I have been away, in a wave within the wave so I have not caught up with everyone, I am just barging in and  posting my update, no disrespect intended.

 

This is from a Pm.

 

My mother fell and hurt her arm day before yesterday. At the time, when she called me, she was upset and was scared. It was late in the evening, and I was already in  a wave, so you can imagine how bad it got. My mother has very low pain tolerance, so it's hard to know what is what. She felt so embarassed, vulnerable and had gloomy thoughts, which she made the mistake of sharing with me, but she needed to get it all out.

 

Yesterday, we found out it's not as bad as she thought and today, she even took our dog out by herelf.

 

Anyway, that must have gotten me thinking about old age, being abandoned, alone. Not really my mother's situation, my sickness makes me distort the facts about her.  I was off on a tangent and I was prey of looping thoughts, I had not had them in a while. THEy are so bad, I saw horrifying things.

 

Luckily, I dozed off and it broke its hold on me. THen, I had a long chat with my mom over the phone, she reassured me about so many things, that have been worrying me.

 

My priority is to heal then I can go about making adjustments to my life.

 

My windows are getting shorter and shorter. My waves are so long now, the pattern has changed, for worse. After the 24 hour waves, I am getting another pattern.

 

And more head pain ! today, I could barely think straight because of it, as you can see.

 

I don't know what to think. I find these waves quite  scary.

 

 

[[No...]]

Ah Sky ... this is hard stuff for us this far out ... sounds likes its time for another teddy bear session ... glad your mom is okay ...

 

Please don't worry about how long or short things are ... we are getting close to being done with this stuff ... hope you get a really good rest tonight ...

 

Take care, my friend ... wishing you a good day tomorrow ... 

[[dr...]]

Sky...wishing you get some relief asap.  This is such an endurance test time after time. I wish it got easier in every way but we know That ain't true.  Thinking of you.

[[dr...]]

Oh...time to throw my cabbage into the crock pot. Almost done!

[[ra...]]

NovaScotia - Thank you for your reply and your welcome. It's very reassuring, as I see your 67 and came off 2 months before me. I am 71.

 

I am pleased to hear things are improving for you, as there are times when it feels like this horrible condition will go on for ever. But. like you, I must try and be positive - not always easy with one's head stuck down the loo whilst  dry heaving!  LOL.

 

So thank you again for all you've said - It really  helps me a lot.

 

Good Healing

 

Racksha.

[[No...]]

Hope you enjoy your dinner, Drew ...

 

Looks like our little snow storm will be starting in a couple of hours and it is predicted to blow until tomorrow evening ... gonna be lots of fun when this stuff starts melting ...

[[No...]]

racksha ... 71 eh ... us old fellas gotta stick together ...

 

Yep ... this will take as long as it takes ... in the meantime we just have to stay out of the rabbit hole and get by as best we can day to day ...

 

And yes, "forever" arrives sometimes three or four times a week ... and then it disappears for a while ... funny about that ...

 

We just keep going ... until we don't have to anymore ... and that day is coming ...

 

Be Well ...

[[No...]]

racksha ... I do apologize ... seems I goofed in calling you an old fella ... leaped before I looked ... 

 

 

[[ra...]]

NovaScotia - your forgiven. My husband and I refer to ourselves as re-cycled teenagers, but I'm sure our Grandchildren call us a pair of old wrinklies behind our backs!

[[No...]]

racksha ... whew ...

 

I see you are in England ... we are a very diverse group ... someone in Italy ... I am in Nova Scotia ... east and west coasts of the usa and many places in between ...

 

Have a good night ...

 

 

[[Ko...]]

Korbe ... yep ... the "there must be something else wrong" ... this is a hard place to be ... the symptoms can be so similar to other things ... and the health fears can play on us and those concerned about us ...

 

And for some of us this can go on for quite a while ... hope you are doing well ... 

 

That's exactly what they say. I'm just trying to ignore these comments.  Can't chsnge minds anyway.

I think it's a waste of time to go to the dr because I know this is w/d. But, I may go get a physical just to shut people up.

Thanks for responding Nova.  I enjoy your posts.

Sue

[[Ko...]]

 

Kobe, hang in there.  I didn't realize you were someone who is having a worse second than first year.  Tmhe nerjve pain is awful, but we do here about it at 16 months, and people do get better, it does pass. 

 

The worst thing that can happen, from my perspective, is I don't know why I'm getting these bizarre, confusing, painful, and, yes, sometimes debilitating symptoms, so far out, at the start of my 17th month, just about where you are, Korbe.  Because the danger is we run to doctors who are not benzo wise, who won't even acknowledge this could be happening from a benzo - I think Drew touched on this - they will not even entertain we could be having these symptoms 16 months later because of the drug.  And the danger is, the doctors start prescribing meds for every symptom we have, because that's what they do, and then we're in trouble. 

 

So you sound a lot better, like you have a handle on what's going on.  I think getting support really helps with that, understanding what's going on.

 

GREENICE,

Glad you mentioned about doctors not understanding w/d.  What gave you told friends who think you should go get a complete physical, etc because there must be something else wrong? I know they are just concerned and for some reason have a hard time believing all this is Benzo w/d especially this far out.

Thanks for all your support , Korbe

 

What have I told friends?  I tell them I already got a physical and everything is fine.  That's the problem.  I would like to say to a friend, hey, I'm in a wave, I won't be able to make it.  or I'm not sleeping. but if I do my friends tell me to run to the doctor for antidepressants. Our whole society is positively indoctrinated, a pill for everything.  So I try not to say anything.  I come here for support.  We have to accept the fact that most people are clueless.  We have to learn not to go to a dry well for water.

 

The way you get the blue.  when you want to answer a post, click on the "quote" button in the top right corner.  That will take you to the reply page, and the original quote will appear in blue above your post, although it's not in blue when you're typing, it will appear that way after you hit the post button. 

 

Have a good night, all.

GREENICE,

Thanks for telling me how to do the blue.  It worked. So much easier for responding tp posts. I haven't actually had a physical since staring this, but I can tell its w/d. Guess I could get a physical and a full blood panel just to shut people up. 

Thanks for your help, hope your feeling better. Less pain for me today.

Korbe

[[pe...]]

No big news here, just saying hello and I miss you. I am lonely for the bb's but short on both time and things to say. You've heard it all before… I'll let you know when somebody changes the record.

 

Huge hugs,

Peace2

[[je...]]

Peace!! I miss you!! Your in my thoughts 

[[Co...]]

Hi MightyGirl....love to you. So glad to see you dropping by.. It's almost Spring Break....coop...

[[je...]]

Hi guys,

Ive been feeling like im healing like I'm getting better, but in some ways I feel like I'm going backwards. Ive been having so much anxiety lately-- I thought that part of w/d was over but its come back full force. I had a dentist appt yesterday, just a cleaning and I was in full on panic mode. It felt like I was having a panic attack the whole time. I was sweating and felt like I might get up and run for the door at any moment... When I finally got out of there and got home I just  brokedown and started crying.. I couldn't believe a dentist appt could break me down so bad and I really felt pretty hopeless. I just can't imagine living the rest of my life this way, and the thing is I had this kind of anxiety pre benzo so I'm really scared this is just me. Most of my physical sx  have gotten much better the last few weeks, and now it seems all my anxiety is back. We are going on vacation this summer to visit my sister for 10 days and I'm really scared now that I won't be able to handle it. Thanks for listening, Jenny

[[dr...]]

Jenny-it's just a one off.  Please don't "what if" future events. That's the problem with our anxieties. If we had this stuff before we will probably have some stuff after but I still have to believe for several years we can get "benzo rexasperated" anxieties. 

 

My migraine got really bad tonight and brought on a panic. It has passed but oh how it sucks. Migraine plus panic?!?  Wtf!?!  This is my main symptom right now and it's been relentless.

 

I started doing cbt worksheets each day. Getting into the habit. I'm seeing how much this benzo experience has changed my thinking for the worse.  Everything in my brain goes to worst case. I knew I was bad but this is eye opening. My therapist did read Ashton and said he couldn't believe how much more there was to it than he thought.  He thought he was very knowledgable. Small victories.

[[je...]]

Drew,

Thanks for your reply  what exactly does the CBT entail? Isnt it putting yourself in the situations you find difficult? Yes, I  know my thinking has been way off lately, like everything is catastrophic. Migraines and health fear must be horrible-- its like a double whammy. I hope your feeling better right now. Keep up with the CBT, it sounds great!  Keep schooling that therapist-- i love it!  Jenny

[[No...]]

Well ... woke up this morning and Halifax is shut down ... the snow fairy has waved her wand again ... and it is still blowing ... they say we have gotten some 3 feet of snow and ice in the last couple of weeks ... and more to come this weekend ...

 

Feeling pretty good ... things started to tighten up late yesterday ... you know, head, chest and upper body ... but seemed to settle on "not too lousy" ... and got some okay sleep ...

 

Since we had a green Christmas, the snow fairies are going to give us a white Easter ... gonna have to put lots of colour in them eggs if we are going to find them ...

 

Have a good Wednesday ...

[[No...]]

Peace ... good to hear from you ... don't worry ... I will keep the "broken record" going ... 

[[No...]]

Jenny ... it is discouraging to have that kind of response to the dentist ... and yes, some of us have stuff from before the drug ... and we will be able to work that stuff out once we get finished with this part of our journey ... we know so much more now ... and we have been strengthened by this process ...

 

Our focus and determination will carry over into our drug free lives ... 

[[No...]]

Drew ... sorry to hear you got whacked again ... how was your dinner? ...

 

And yes, there is a bit more to this process than a lot of folks realize ... good to hear someone is trying to pay attention ...

[[be...]]

Hey guys, just popping in here to let you know that Parker posted a product on the protracted board that's helping her nerve pain. It's Epsom salt lotion. I'm going to give it a try.

Be well.