12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

You sound better...Glad to hear it...I am nodding g off here....goodnight and a good tomorrow....coop

[[No...]]

Drew ... just a thought ... and I have not had the migraine thing for years so don't know how much this might help ...

 

The last couple of years before I started my taper, all during taper, and up to maybe a year or so ago ... I had the visual aura stuff and lots of floater stuff ...

 

And it cycled ... the aura stuff was like amoebas floating and blooming and shrinking across my vision ... usually went right to left ... from lower right to upper left ...

 

And one time when my vision got very blurry I had it checked out at the hospital eye clinic and after a long day of tests they said I was just getting old ... long story short ... I was pissed off ... went for a walk ... saw an optical shop, went in, told the receptionist what happened, she said sit down a minute ... the eye guy came out, did his thing, examined me and said you have an interesting cataract in one eye ... and with my natural strabismus he said this must be driving you nuts ...

 

Had the cataract surgery for right eye ... after a few months the aura stuff cleared up and the floater stuff only occurs in really bright light occasionally ...

 

Don't know if this was co-incidental to the drug withdrawal or not ... eye guy told me the cataract was not caused by the drug, and it probably helped mess up any daily self-correction that was attempting to get me through the day ...

 

Just a thought ...

[[No...]]

Coop ... I am pretty good ... have a good rest ...

[[No...]]

Green ... yep, the stamina thing ... one day lots, another day nothing ... so it goes ... and its frustrating ... I hear you ...

 

And the sleep thing ... sometimes it feels like I am in one of those fun house mirror places ... who am I looking at ... this will settle down for us eventually ... hope you are getting some rest ...

[[No...]]

HH ... have a wonderful trip ... thinking of you ... 

[[Ko...]]

 

Kobe, hang in there.  I didn't realize you were someone who is having a worse second than first year.  Tmhe nerjve pain is awful, but we do here about it at 16 months, and people do get better, it does pass. 

 

The worst thing that can happen, from my perspective, is I don't know why I'm getting these bizarre, confusing, painful, and, yes, sometimes debilitating symptoms, so far out, at the start of my 17th month, just about where you are, Korbe.  Because the danger is we run to doctors who are not benzo wise, who won't even acknowledge this could be happening from a benzo - I think Drew touched on this - they will not even entertain we could be having these symptoms 16 months later because of the drug.  And the danger is, the doctors start prescribing meds for every symptom we have, because that's what they do, and then we're in trouble. 

 

So you sound a lot better, like you have a handle on what's going on.  I think getting support really helps with that, understanding what's going on.

 

GREENICE,

Glad you mentioned about doctors not understanding w/d.  What gave you told friends who think you should go get a complete physical, etc because there must be something else wrong? I know they are just concerned and for some reason have a hard time believing all this is Benzo w/d especially this far out.

Thanks for all your support , Korbe

 

[[Ko...]]

HOW DO I MAKE  COPIED POST BLUE?

[[No...]]

Korbe ... yep ... the "there must be something else wrong" ... this is a hard place to be ... the symptoms can be so similar to other things ... and the health fears can play on us and those concerned about us ...

 

And for some of us this can go on for quite a while ... hope you are doing well ... 

[[Gr...]]

Green ... yep, the stamina thing ... one day lots, another day nothing ... so it goes ... and its frustrating ... I hear you ...

 

And the sleep thing ... sometimes it feels like I am in one of those fun house mirror places ... who am I looking at ... this will settle down for us eventually ... hope you are getting some rest ...

 

 

Nope, Nova, no rest.  I get that wide awake thing at about 2 a.m. I'm up for the night.  I've been enjoying quite a few cookies myself.  Spring is coming, coats will come off.  I just can't bear the thought of dieting now.

 

is your sleep cycle off?  Are you falling asleep early and waking up at 1:30? 

[[Gr...]]

 

Kobe, hang in there.  I didn't realize you were someone who is having a worse second than first year.  Tmhe nerjve pain is awful, but we do here about it at 16 months, and people do get better, it does pass. 

 

The worst thing that can happen, from my perspective, is I don't know why I'm getting these bizarre, confusing, painful, and, yes, sometimes debilitating symptoms, so far out, at the start of my 17th month, just about where you are, Korbe.  Because the danger is we run to doctors who are not benzo wise, who won't even acknowledge this could be happening from a benzo - I think Drew touched on this - they will not even entertain we could be having these symptoms 16 months later because of the drug.  And the danger is, the doctors start prescribing meds for every symptom we have, because that's what they do, and then we're in trouble. 

 

So you sound a lot better, like you have a handle on what's going on.  I think getting support really helps with that, understanding what's going on.

 

GREENICE,

Glad you mentioned about doctors not understanding w/d.  What gave you told friends who think you should go get a complete physical, etc because there must be something else wrong? I know they are just concerned and for some reason have a hard time believing all this is Benzo w/d especially this far out.

Thanks for all your support , Korbe

 

What have I told friends?  I tell them I already got a physical and everything is fine.  That's the problem.  I would like to say to a friend, hey, I'm in a wave, I won't be able to make it.  or I'm not sleeping. but if I do my friends tell me to run to the doctor for antidepressants. Our whole society is positively indoctrinated, a pill for everything.  So I try not to say anything.  I come here for support.  We have to accept the fact that most people are clueless.  We have to learn not to go to a dry well for water.

 

The way you get the blue.  when you want to answer a post, click on the "quote" button in the top right corner.  That will take you to the reply page, and the original quote will appear in blue above your post, although it's not in blue when you're typing, it will appear that way after you hit the post button. 

 

Have a good night, all.

[[No...]]

Hi Green ... what sleep cycle? ... these days I sleep when I can ... and I avoid naps ... they mostly turn toxic ... I have always been an early "shut down" person and an early riser ... so the 4 or 5 wake up is not unusual for me ...

 

These days I usually am tired by 7 or 8 so I pack it in ...

 

And probably whatever cycle we find ourselves in will shift gradually back to what we had been practicing ... or so the story goes ...

 

I figure if I make cookies they are all good ... if I buy them, not so good ... whatever story works today ... 

[[Gr...]]

Hi Green ... what sleep cycle? ... these days I sleep when I can ... and I avoid naps ... they mostly turn toxic ... I have always been an early "shut down" person and an early riser ... so the 4 or 5 wake up is not unusual for me ...

 

These days I usually am tired by 7 or 8 so I pack it in ...

 

And probably whatever cycle we find ourselves in will shift gradually back to what we had been practicing ... or so the story goes ...

 

I figure if I make cookies they are all good ... if I buy them, not so good ... whatever story works today ... 

 

Yeah, the naps feel bad.  I don't know what my sleep will shift back to, it's been so long since I just went to bed and fell asleep without a pill.  I can't remember that far back, lol.

 

What kind of cookies?

 

Did you, or are you, doing a corned beef and cabbage?  And have you noticed the price of beef?  it's astronomical here. 

 

to be continued tomorrow.  feeling sleepy?

[[No...]]

Green ... have a good rest ... we need these ...

 

Cookies ... I make what is called a "humungous oatmeal and raisin" cookie ... found the recipe many moons ago in Bert Greene's "Grains" cookbook ... they take a while and you need a mixer to get all the oatmeal mixed in ... just smaller than a saucer ... and I use maple syrup rather than white sugar ... so that makes them "okay" ...

 

Beef is way out there price wise around here ... don't hardly eat it anymore ... we are pork fans ... and chicken and fish ... and I did think the other day, how would I make corned pork and cabbage ... the mind is a wonderful entertainer sometimes ...

 

There are two good meat people at the market I frequent ... a Bavarian fella and a rancher who raises his own pork and beef ... so I find good bacon and sausages and good cuts of pork and ham ... and the chicken lady raises very good eating birds ... and the egg man brings wonderful eggs ... it is worth the time and energy to make the trip down there when I need to ...

 

Be Well ...

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... doing pretty good ... things seem to be holding ...

 

And ... surprise, surprise ... another snow storm tonight and tomorrow ... and another one Saturday ... this is getting a little silly ... oh well ... it has to snow another 113 feet before I have to shovel ... I live on the 12th floor ... 

 

Have a good Tuesday ... 

[[No...]]

WORD FOR THE DAY

 

Tuesday, Mar. 17

 

People say, "What is the sense of our small effort?" They cannot see that we must lay one brick at a time, take one step at a time.

 

Dorothy Day

 

[[fl...]]

Dear Coop,

 

Thank you for always replying to me when I check in.  Your posts have been a comforting presence to me over the last 15ish months.  You make a difference in many lives here.  Bless you!

 

Floc

[[Gr...]]

 

Nova, Chef John says corned beef and cabbage is NOT authentic Irish food.  don't know how he knows.  I agree on the pork, I buy a lot.  (my son won't eat it, pain in the neck!)  I hear it's healthier than beef, the cuts with low fat, I guess, because the fat isn't threaded through the meat, I guess?  Anyway, here's a nice way to make Irish stew. This guy has a pork chopped smothered in onions to die for.

 

Chef John's Irish Pork Stew

 

 

recipe image

 

Rated:  rating

 

Submitted By: Chef John

 

Photo By: aputler

 

 

Prep Time: 25 Minutes

 

Cook Time: 2 Hours 25 Minutes

 

Ready In: 2 Hours 50 Minutes

 

Servings: 6

 

 

 

"This flavorful pork stew is made with cubed pork shoulder, dark beer, caraway seed, and Brussels sprouts. Serve over mashed potatoes."

 

Ingredients:

 

 

1 (2 1/2 pound) boneless pork shoulder,

 

cut into 2-inch cubes

 

salt and ground black pepper to taste

 

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

 

1 tablespoon butter

 

1 large onion, chopped

 

2 cloves garlic, minced

 

1 tablespoon all-purpose flour

 

1 bay leaf

 

3/4 teaspoon caraway seed

 

1 (12 fluid ounce) bottle dark beer (such

 

as Guinness®)

 

2 cups chicken broth

 

3 carrots, cut into 1-inch pieces

 

2 stalks celery, cut into 1-inch pieces

 

1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

 

3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

 

12 Brussels sprouts, halved

 

3 cups mashed potatoes, or as needed

 

1 teaspoon chopped fresh flat-leaf

 

parsley, or to taste

 

 

Directions:

 

1. Season pork cubes with salt and black pepper.

2. Heat vegetable oil in a pot over high heat. Working in batches, cook and stir pork in hot oil until browned on all sides, 5 to 10 minutes. Transfer pork to a bowl and reduce heat to medium.

3. Melt butter in the pot. Cook and stir onion with a pinch of salt in hot butter until onion is softened and translucent, 7 to 10 minutes. Add garlic; saute until fragrant, about 30 seconds.

4. Stir flour into onion mixture; cook and stir until flour is completely incorporated, about 2 minutes. Add bay leaf and caraway seed; cook for 2 minutes more. Pour beer into onion mixture. Cook and stir until thickened, 1 to 3 minutes.

5. Stir pork, chicken broth, carrots, and celery into beer mixture; bring to simmer. Stir 1/4 cup parsley and balsamic vinegar into stew, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer until pork is fork-tender, about 2 hours.

6. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add the Brussels sprouts and cook uncovered until almost tender, about 5 minutes. Drain.

7. Stir Brussels sprouts into stew and simmer until heated through, about 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Divide mashed potatoes between 6 bowls

 

[[Co...]]

Hi Nova and Green,

boy that looks yum...I would eat it and I'm vegetarian.

...it's pouring rain here today.. think I will order the ingredients from the delivery grocery and make some for my daughter and son and dil

.....Happy cooking ...Happy healing.. coop

 

 

 

[[No...]]

Thanks for the recipe, Green ...

[[dr...]]

Ha...I took the day off cause head is wonky but I do have a corned beef in my slow cooker.

[[Co...]]

Drew...so glad you took the day off...hope you are feeling better.  The story of the on going Irish Stew...mine is smelling so ooo good...enjoy every one...coop

[[dr...]]

Ha coop me too.  Now that I'm understanding the pattern of this migraine stuff I've learned not to push it.  I get the aura and maybe little or moderate funkiness that day but the next day is harder.  No pain but super DR with cog fog and some dizziness. I had all these things I planned to do so I didn't feel like a slug and then I said to myself "relax and do nothing". So hard for me.    I can't even watch tv.  I just lay in bed and time passes very quickly.  So weird but I don't question it. 

 

-I've also just started to take magnesium. I am low on vit D and I've read if you take lots of D without mag it can cause headaches and other stuff.  Not sure why the doc didn't tell me that!  I had a bad experience w mag during my taper but looking back I'm not sure anymore.

Lastly, magnesium along with b2 and CoQ10 was shown to prevent migraines with very little to no side effects.  That being said I'm ramping up very slowly.

[[No...]]

Drew ... hope the supplements work out for you ... glad you gave yourself a day off ...

 

Halifax Irish supper ... split pea soup ... baked beans ... a good sausage ...

[[dr...]]

"Sausage.....hmmmmmm" says my Homer Simpson avatar. 

 

Nova-I'm going into these supps w a high level of wariness.  I only take D cause my doc said it was so low and I needed it. Then I read the bit on mag and the rabbit hole reveals itself. 

[[ra...]]

Hi Buddies. I think it's so good we can gain reassurance from oneanother, as this dreadful experience can create so much fear.

 

Having just come out of my first 'little window' lasting 3 weeks, when my sxs were less severe, I am now experiencing the following, and would like to ask if anyone is familiar with any of these sxs. And is it normal to still be getting these at 15 months out or longer?

 

I appreciate that mornings seem to be the worst time for most  people, but I am now waking up after having a good 8 hours undisturbed sleep, for my body, NOT ME, to be in some sort of panic state. And although I read in the Ashton Manual that panic attacks 'usually last little more than 30 minutes', the following sxs listed can alternate between on and off  changing hour by hour, sometimes easing much later in the day/evenings, if I'm lucky!

 

1. Feeling Nauseous and having to dry heave to get some relief.

 

2. Inner trembling/shaking  in legs and stomach churning.

 

3. Feeling of weakness and white hot tingling  in hands/arms and legs (not  true weakness as my hands can grip tight and I have no problem

        walking to the bathroom.)

 

4. Feeling very ill as though I could easily pass out, - even if I'm lying down.(don't think it's low blood sugar related as can happen even after

        eating)

 

5. Intermittent singing in right ear,  with rapid pulse rate in neck.

 

6. Flushing/burning both ears and face.

 

7. Throughout  the day alternating between nausea and food hunger/CRAVINGS.

 

When all this is happening I've noticed physical anxiety levels are high, but I don't think it's as a result of any reaction or prompting on my part, as I just try to keep calm, lie down and do abdominal breathing, so as not to add further anxiety - That said, I do find it takes very little to stimulate 'my own'  mental anxiety.

 

I would very much  appreciate your replies.

 

Thank you and Good wishes to all..