12-18 month support

[[pe...]]

Hey Green,

I really trust my therapist but she had such a hard time buying the withdrawal bit. I finally got a copy of Recovery and Renewal by Baylissa and was pleased to find a section for therapists in the book. So I took it to her and she totally got it and has been better at helping me ever since.

 

Worth a try?

Love,

Peace2

[[dr...]]

Peace-too funny...just finished reading many of the passages for the thousandth time in that book and was going to recommend it to everyone.  So great of a read.  Maybe I should get a copy for my therapist. 

[[Gr...]]

I was thinking maybe where I'm straying away from the safe food is the problem. I keep testing the waters because I'm sick of the same food over and over.

I have a lot of Irish in my blood and I dare not eat any of the corned beef and cabbage that my daughter will be bringing over for my husband. 

Anybody here able to eat what they want?

 

Beulah, if alternating diarrhea/constipation, protruding pregnant benzo belly is GI issues, then I have them.  My solution?  Eat anything I want. the diarrhea has a life of its own.  I could take a sip of water and have a problem.  or not. so why should I deprive myself? I'm cooking corned beef and cabbage for my family and I'm eating it.  Again, this is me.  not for everybody.  we're all very different.  I know Coop is religious about eating healthy.

 

Coop, I'm so glad you're having a nice day with your daughter.  When is the wedding?  is this something you're comfortable with at this point?

 

Sky and Nova, hope you're both feeling a little better.

 

Back to the therapist and refusing to validate our symptoms.  maybe I should turn the couch around.  Maybe I should ask her why she has a problem validating me, her patient?  Instead of working so hard to make her understand? this struggle for validation is important, I think, hugely important.  We've been through something horrific.  By not getting validated, we are victimized all over again.  Idk.  Maybe I should let it go.  we'll see.  have a good evening all

I would ask her why she isn't validating your wd . Unless she's the kind of therapist that will say " Let's talk about why you need my validation " and then you would have to knock her down with a book of Spanish that I would conveniently lend you for the job.

 

Not feeling better, but i think I see the end coming or maybe I am just happy the weekend is here, it's been a long day. I had many lessons today and felt awful.

 

How absurd, in tolerance I had to take days off work, I was always so sick. But in wd, I have never ever cancelled a lesson !! Go figure.

 

Small victories. I just noticed I have some of the eyesight back in my left eye.

 

I am  going to bed now. Hope this wave gets better  soon.  Get better everybody. Sorry, I really am so out of it, I just come here,  post and then log off and that feels like I have done tons !!!

 

NIght everybody.

 

Sky, you have an amazing command of your second of five languages.  The subtle nuance of getting annoyed at the shrink, in the second language, major.  seriously, I think we're all communicating distinctly better than we did last year.  I still feel like I can't as well as I'd like, but I know it's so much better.  This time last year I had trouble putting a sentence together. I am not exaggerating one bit.  Major word retrieval issues.

 

Beulah, I get the stomach pain on and off.  It stinks.  I hope this gets better for you.

[[Gr...]]

Hey Green,

I really trust my therapist but she had such a hard time buying the withdrawal bit. I finally got a copy of Recovery and Renewal by Baylissa and was pleased to find a section for therapists in the book. So I took it to her and she totally got it and has been better at helping me ever since.

 

Worth a try?

Love,

Peace2

 

Peace, thank you so much!  I have that book.  What a good idea.  Whatever we can do to get the word out.

[[No...]]

Drew ... good news ... hope it opens all the way for you ....

 

Sky ... wishing you a good sleep ...

 

Beulah ... I have had goofy guts since the very beginning of taking the drug ... I still occasionally have to adjust what and how I am eating for a while ...

 

Hi Peace ...

[[No...]]

Well ... fell asleep listening to an audiobook for three hours ... woke up feeling like crap ... oh well ... Friday is almost in the books ... 

[[He...]]

I stayed home from school today because I've been running a fever and have been miserable all day. My body aches something terrible. Ugh! My anxiety is nonexistent though. Last time I got sick my anxiety was through the roof.

I'm miserable, but it is nice to just be plain ol' run of the mill sick. I suppose that's another good sign of healing.

[[No...]]

HH ... sorry you are feeling sick ... and it is nice that it doesn't feel attached to other stuff ... rest and you will feel better soon ... 

[[Gr...]]

I stayed home from school today because I've been running a fever and have been miserable all day. My body aches something terrible. Ugh! My anxiety is nonexistent though. Last time I got sick my anxiety was through the roof.

I'm miserable, but it is nice to just be plain ol' run of the mill sick. I suppose that's another good sign of healing.

 

HH, can you definitely tell the difference now, when you're really sick?

 

Either way, feel better soon, hopefully for the weekend. 

[[dr...]]

That's a great sign HH.  Feel betterer.

[[He...]]

I stayed home from school today because I've been running a fever and have been miserable all day. My body aches something terrible. Ugh! My anxiety is nonexistent though. Last time I got sick my anxiety was through the roof.

I'm miserable, but it is nice to just be plain ol' run of the mill sick. I suppose that's another good sign of healing.

 

HH, can you definitely tell the difference now, when you're really sick?

 

Either way, feel better soon, hopefully for the weekend.

 

Yes, I'm running a fever and my throat is sore. Definitely sick. I've had the body aches before with w/d, and that feels the same, but never the fever and sore throat. Also, several of my students have the same thing...which is always a good clue. 

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... a very rough morning yesterday and then a good afternoon and then a confused evening ...

 

Some days I find this process very confusing and exhausting ... and I get messed up with the wizard behind the curtain turning the lights on and then turning them off and on and off and on and off ... Well, I am thankful I get some breaks now and then ... and find myself back in the "trenches" pacing to and fro waiting for the next "barrage" ...

 

This tug of war between the expectation of healing and the expectation of the "barrage" wears me down sometimes ... oh well ... it is what it is ... can't get a refund ... signed up for the "duration" ...

 

Have a good Saturday ...

 

Be Well ...

[[He...]]

Nova,

I'm so sorry you are just getting hammered! I am lifting you up in prayer right now. This WILL pass and this active bout of healing will leave you feeling stronger and better than ever. 

 

When my mega wave that lasted for 6+ weeks started lifting, I was quite shell-shocked from it. It took a good month to not be so weary of my own body, constantly scanning and being hyper aware. I understand what you say about the expectation is even wearing you down. That calms down, too.

 

Sending you healing thoughts and prayers, my friend!

[[No...]]

HH ... hope you are feeling better today ...

 

Yep ... this is an endurance contest ... or sure feels like one sometimes ... and we get through this stuff ... hope you have a good day ... 

[[pe...]]

Nova,

Time keeps moving and so do we.

 

Thinking of you and hoping things are melting where you are.

 

Peace2

[[Lo...]]

Hello gang

 

Just a brief note to say that I am officially four months benzo free today!

I have updated my progress in my post in the Benzo Free Section of the forum (called "Mrs. has taken her last dose!"), if it can help.

 

I think about you often, and read every day I may "lurk" more than post, but I love being engaged in all of your lives! 

 

Welp, anyways That is all for now - Happy Friday to you all!!

 

Mrs.

 

Happy 4 months off!!!!! 

[[No...]]

Hey Mrs .... 

[[No...]]

Peace ... things have melted some ... sidewalks are still lousy where we are ... and we are getting another snow storm tonight ...

 

And a good time was had by all ...

 

Hope you are getting some "re-charge" this weekend ...

 

Yep ... we keep sloggin' on ... 

[[dr...]]

Hello all...not sure I'll make it to windowland(our version of Disney)

I had a great massage and then afterwards my visual aura hit again. I came right home and put ice on my neck and head. Hoping to avoid the headache phase as I have done before.

 

I also did a CBT worksheet to help diffuse the negative spiraling thougyts/anxiety that come with this symptom

-I'll now be feeling crappy for a few days

-it's something else besides withdrawal

 

These so called "hot thoughts" lead to my anxiety and catastrophising

 

I then listed the reality

I may not feel bad and you and many others have had this symptom during recovery.  It's not a stroke or anything else just my brain trying to readjust.

 

Something tells me I'm going to be listing a lot of hot thiughts

[[Co...]]

Drew, I am so sorry. I love the term " hot thoughts"...I think you said that in the past you have seen a neurologist for the migraines and your evaluations came back good. ....never the less I completely get it that every time they hit all the health fears come racing on board like pigeons scrambling for bread crumbs.

  .I have exactly the same response to physical sx...immediate health fear...usually involving all the catastrophic things. ...The mantra that helps me sometimes is, " I have had this 100s of times, it didn't turn into any of the scary things my fears tell me are happening" ...then I work on the ," yes, but this time...." thoughts. ...Health fears are just awful. Mine disappear in a window but I can't remember that in my feelings when I am caught in the undertow of a wave.

.....I am there with you today, my window dimmed and this morning the boatyness, d/r and cog fog returned to more than mild. I also have been trying to rationalize health fears today. The d/r and cog fog  become alzhiemers in my health fears...

.....Drew, I am hoping this passes for you quickly....I am thinking of you....and in a small way being in the feat boat with you....you take a paddle, I will take a paddle and we will row out of this.....thinking of you Drew....coop

[[Co...]]

There is/was a health feat support group ...O haven't seen it for awhile ..font know how active it is now...

[[Co...]]

Hi friends....catching up here. ...

.....MikeJee, thank you for the good wishes. Yes, I had a 5 day window...it was wonderful. Today some sx have returned ( d/r, cog fog and moderate health fear, but still it is nothing like months 6- 12...or the terrible one that hit me at the end of Feb. ...I hate to see my window dim down but I am still very functional ...just terribly removed ...like my body is going through all the motions without my mind being engaged. I know it will clear...

.....Yes, I think waves later in recovery are more difficult because each time we have a window we think, " maybe I am healing...maybe this is my last terrible wave"...only to be slammed again...back to living on the edge of sx again. You sound good....you are going to make it through....coop

[[Co...]]

Nova, man, the two step forward 3 back just wears us down to having next to no reserves. I was so happy for you that you had that 2 hour sunbreak. .more will come.

....Glad to hear that you are baking rolls and cooking...and the melt is continuing.  We have rain today too...a good putter day at my house too.

..My window dimmed down...I knew it would, but still my baseline is holding at at least 85%...just some pretty heavy d/r, cog fog boatyness and moderate health fear. I know how to drag them around with me ...they slow me down but I'M still on my feet.. onward..

...Nova, wishing you more bright sunbreaks...coop

[[Co...]]

HH...sorry you have a bug...It is great that your healing is so solid that you can easily tell the difference between sx and a virus...HH , you are just sounding so good. I think of you when I have wavy moments...or days. You have weathered some major events without returning to acute waves...so very encouraging....I hope you are feeling much better....coop

[[dr...]]

Coop-I've never been to a neurologist but they follow the classic migraine patterns most of the time.  I've had them for years but not this often.  I'm getting the vision auras around every eight to ten days.  I figure if it was a tumor it would have killed me by now 

In addition they are caused by stress and muscle tightness.  My neck is solid like a rock so I'm sure that's not helping.  I don't feel it progressing so I'm off to the chores I bailed on earlier.  Sorry your not in window.