12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Nova, man I am sorry to hear this. How long was your panic?...I am glad to hear that your center felt stable and it was only the exterm al world that was doing tricks.  I think our waves leave us exhausted . I felt somewhat better today but I was mostly down ...busy but down and resting because I am just beat from my wave.

    .Nova...I really hope you can get some decent sleep tonight.. ...coop

[[No...]]

Coop ... panic is still going on ... and the sweats and vibrations ... and breathing stuff ... gonna be up for a while ...

 

Trying to read the boaty thread you mentioned ... good stuff there ...

[[Co...]]

Mrs.. yes..I totally get it...recovering from a long wave takes me a couple of days.  I am just watching The Voice...I hate reality shows but I started watching this last Spring when I was really in the thick of it...now I am hooked...I love Pherrell . I love his Happy song. 

....I am feeling better ( I was really scared I wasn't ever going to feel better again). I always have residual fear after a hard wave..a little PTSD.. My health fears are really tamped down tonight so very grateful for that...Enjoy the Bachelor...they are so naughty.. lol ... so glad that you are starting to feel better...Sleep well...love to you....coop

[[Co...]]

Oh, Nova...that just so stinks. ...You have been through more than anyone should have to endure. I am thinking of you Nova.  We're here for you ...you are not going through this one alone.  Love to you Nova....coop

[[dr...]]

Hang in there nova.  You know the drill.

 

Hi coop, sky, mrs, lisa, et al...

 

I'm home feeling okay. It's a start. No head stuff besides Boatiness.

[[No...]]

Coop ... I am okay ... I keep saying that, and saying that ... perhaps that's the Core talking ... and I am curious and attentive ... all good signs for me ...

 

And I feel like total crap ... 

 

Good stuff over on the Boaty Thread ...

 

Big bout of "malaria" tonight with the panic stuff ...

 

Hope your "doing well" sticks around ...

[[No...]]

Hi Drew ... good to hear you are doing okay today ...

 

Just hanging in and hanging around again tonight ... doing the "drill" ... 

[[Co...]]

Nova,...hold on to that core...I know how fatigued you must be from this wave. It seems like you haven't had any break from it at all to give you a minute to catch your breath. ..Did you get any real sleep today? ...You ARE ok Nova...but believe me, we all know how convincing a panic can be...I hope it starts descending...take care Michael... .coop

[[Co...]]

Drew,...yep its a start. My head stuff let go this afternoon, and like you I am left with 'only' some pretty pronounced boatyness ..like the bed literally sways when I turn over, but I can handle that better than the other head sx. ...check out the dizzy support group...I felt greatly reassured by the information there....so glad you are starting to feel better....coop

[[No...]]

Coop ... almost no sleep Saturday night ... 6 or 7 hours Sunday night ... just a couple of hours Monday night before waking up to this stuff ... so, I am getting some rest ...

 

And because this stuff is "transient" ... I know this is all about healing ... and it is my "job" for myself to keep my head in the game ... and damn hard to do sometimes ...

 

And we are all very good at this ... we know the "drill" ...

 

And I do feel like this "Core" thingie is getting stronger and stronger and more confident as these days go on ... this sense that "I" am doing this is very confidence boosting ... and of course when things get really shaky I do have to search around for this "Centre" and just give it time to come into focus ...

 

Hard work ... for all of us ... and under all the rumble there is a Smile lurking ...

[[Co...]]

Sounds like you are on top of this one Nova.. like your feet K ow where the bedrock is....hope it is easing up at least a little....yep we know how to do this.. if only we could know when it would end......carry on ...there is no other choice..

[[No...]]

Coop ... yep, I would sort of like to know when it will end as well ... just have to settle for knowing that it will someday ...

 

Going to try shutting down again and see if I can get a few more hours of sleep ... hope you all get a good rest ...

 

Thanks for being here, again, tonight ... 

[[Co...]]

Sleep well Nova. ....we are one day closer....coop

[[No...]]

Hi Folks ... got some more sleep ... now only feeling a level 6 lousy on a scale of 10 ...

 

Oh well ... another day in the salt mines ...

 

Be Well ...

[[Sk...]]

Hi Folks ... got some more sleep ... now only feeling a level 6 lousy on a scale of 10 ...

 

Oh well ... another day in the salt mines ...

 

Be Well ...

 

6 is not that bad, you know  Glad to hear you got some sleep. Yes, another day in the salt mines for me too, not quite sure I reach 6, lower much lower.

What I hate, is how it all blends and affects my thoughts. WHen I am well, I am almost too well, it feels giddy, like when you are tipsy in  a nice way. And bad, I lose the capacity of doing simple things like washing.

 

THis morning I woke up so bad, I was angry and was looking for a fight with mr SKy. So I told him. I said " Look, I feel awful and I am just looking for a reason to quarrel, try not to do too many irritating things! "

 

I don't want to hurt him but today I do have all this pent up rage. And I am doing my best to keep it in check.

 

Do you ever  get irritable, right Michael ?

 

Ok, that's enough complaining for now. I can always catch up later.

 

THought I read Mrs, somewhere. Nice to see you !

 

Take care everybody.

[[ga...]]

Like to pass on some news to those suffering that this is "transient".  From my ramblings last week you know how poorly I was feeling.  Knock on wood, the last few days have been a complete turn around.  Sleep is much improved...averaging 5 hours/night.  The mental attitude for no apparent reason has turned around completely.  I have a more positive outlook for the future.  Energy level is better and I am looking forward to a Las Vegas vacation in early April.  I wish I could explain it but there is no explanation except nothing stays the same from one day to the next.  You have to hold on for better days ahead.  They do come.  I have no idea how long this will last but I am going to enjoy how I am feeling....today!

[[dr...]]

Yay Garton

[[Lo...]]

Like to pass on some news to those suffering that this is "transient".  From my ramblings last week you know how poorly I was feeling.  Knock on wood, the last few days have been a complete turn around.  Sleep is much improved...averaging 5 hours/night.  The mental attitude for no apparent reason has turned around completely.  I have a more positive outlook for the future.  Energy level is better and I am looking forward to a Las Vegas vacation in early April.  I wish I could explain it but there is no explanation except nothing stays the same from one day to the next.  You have to hold on for better days ahead.  They do come.  I have no idea how long this will last but I am going to enjoy how I am feeling....today!

 

I asked God for great news just a little while ago and here it is! So happy for you Garton! 

[[mr...]]

Garton! :yippee:

 

Mrs.

[[Lo...]]

Great post on healing:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=51940.0

[[dr...]]

Good post LM...You are like an angel that jsut dropped that in my lap.  I have had the worst anxiety in the mornings.  I have been jumping out of my skin but somehow I make it each morning.  I just started cutting back my coffee which never caused any problems post jump but this wave is over three weeks now adn I'm grabbing for my life raft.  I have thoughts of never healing and how can my anxiety be so bad at ten months off.  Questioning is it me?  Maybe I am the one with the pre existing anxiety and those moments/days of feeling calm post jump so far were just a fluke. 

I read what you posted and other articles on the healing time being two years and have to remember that any time for the next year or so I can feel so bad and like I have made no progress. Healing isn't linear and while I can feel as bad as I felt in long time I am healing.  I have to be reminded constantly.  This is a monster of a wave.  Hoping to escape the month 10-11 curse eluded me.

 

This helps

 

 

PS-does anyone have that link where that canadian dr. talks about the two years of healing? 

[[Lo...]]

Good post LM...You are like an angel that jsut dropped that in my lap.  I have had the worst anxiety in the mornings.  I have been jumping out of my skin but somehow I make it each morning.  I just started cutting back my coffee which never caused any problems post jump but this wave is over three weeks now adn I'm grabbing for my life raft.  I have thoughts of never healing and how can my anxiety be so bad at ten months off.  Questioning is it me?  Maybe I am the one with the pre existing anxiety and those moments/days of feeling calm post jump so far were just a fluke. 

I read what you posted and other articles on the healing time being two years and have to remember that any time for the next year or so I can feel so bad and like I have made no progress. Healing isn't linear and while I can feel as bad as I felt in long time I am healing.  I have to be reminded constantly.  This is a monster of a wave.  Hoping to escape the month 10-11 curse eluded me.

 

This helps

 

 

PS-does anyone have that link where that canadian dr. talks about the two years of healing?

 

You're welcome Drew!!! Anytime!!!! And yes this 9-12 month time frame I hear is the toughest :-( praying our turn around happens quickly! We deserve it! 

[[Lo...]]

Drew and others, here is a piece of a post from lostdog on the success stories:

 

"Concentrate on the symptoms that are better or you no longer have. Don’t think about what is still wrong. Compare yourself with six months ago and you can see the difference. If you concentrate on the symptoms you still have it doesn’t feel like you’re making progress. Between 18 and 20 months I was on autopilot. I just kept going, feeling like it would never completely go away and I would never be the same again. I had come to terms with that, and then a month later realized that I was beginning to want to do things again. I noticed my speed of thought was increasing weekly and my cognitive precision was back. My memories are now back in order and I am able to recall them in vivid detail, but now they have time tags on them and no longer just pop up randomly.

 

Physically and mentally I feel as good or better than I have in ten years. I have recovered completely and have no lingering effects. My success story has no qualifiers. It has been 22 months and I’m like new.

For some reason, 12 to 18 months was the most difficult. I think it’s because you’re so exhausted and feeling hopeless. After 18 months it begins to get better but you feel like you’ll never be the way you were before, that there will always be some lingering symptoms. For me it began to really accelerate at around 20 months. I could tell I was beginning to get better but I had given up on being the person I once was.

I have been waiting to write this until I was positive I was completely healed.

I am.

 

Thank you everyone for all your help and support during the last two years. It made all the difference to know I wasn’t alone. Neither are you. You will get better. I promise."

[[mr...]]

Oooh, LM. This is so timely! THANK YOU for posting

 

Mrs.

[[Sk...]]

LM, thanks, I really needed to hear that. I have had such a bad day, my heart is pounding really badly. So your quote from Lost dog, is so positive and encouraging.

 

I am going to bed, hope tomorrow I feel better.

 

Garton, glad to hear you are better today. Nice of you to write such a nice and encouraging  post for the rest of us. Thanks, so much. 

 

NIght, everybody, thanks for being there, this can get so scary at times but ,thanks to you guys and to our loved  ones , it is more bearable.