12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Wondernova, my b/p went up too during w/d. I had a couple of b/p crises driven by panic and ended up in er...once in month 4 and once in month 6. I took atenolol for about 3/4 months to keep it controlled. Eventually I was able to take it only as needed for spikes. Now at 16 months I rarely need it, but I usually have one on hand for possible panics. Did you have b/p problems before w/d?

    I hope it settles as you get further out in your w/d. I think there might be a b/p support group. ...coop

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... another day in "Symptom Land ... and we all survived ...

 

Spent the day doing my stuff ... mostly spent it wandering around the parking lot here in short 15 - 20 minute periods ... noticed a couple of things ... the sun ... just turning my face to the sun and breathing ... and birds going about their birdness ... sure are noisy creatures ... and things are melting ... very slowly, very, very slowly ... and they are melting ...

 

Kind of like the old, gnarly hermit stepping out of his cave ...

 

And ... the sensory stuff was helpful ... just quietly being out in that place ...

 

For me, the only option is keep going ... nothing else matters right now ... and it often feels like blind, determined plodding ... and the sense of endlessness and hopelessness lifted a little in the sun and the bird song ... and seeing the change of the melting ...

 

This Benzo Glacier is moving and melting for all of us ... we all heal ... nobody gets left behind ... one day at a time ... over and over and over again ... until we see the Spring flowers ... through all the tears and frustration and suffering ... remember ... nothing stands still ... things are changing ... we are healing ...

 

Be Well ... have a good Monday ... 

[[Sk...]]

Good Morning ... another day in "Symptom Land ... and we all survived ...

 

Spent the day doing my stuff ... mostly spent it wandering around the parking lot here in short 15 - 20 minute periods ... noticed a couple of things ... the sun ... just turning my face to the sun and breathing ... and birds going about their birdness ... sure are noisy creatures ... and things are melting ... very slowly, very, very slowly ... and they are melting ...

 

Kind of like the old, gnarly hermit stepping out of his cave ...

 

And ... the sensory stuff was helpful ... just quietly being out in that place ...

 

For me, the only option is keep going ... nothing else matters right now ... and it often feels like blind, determined plodding ... and the sense of endlessness and hopelessness lifted a little in the sun and the bird song ... and seeing the change of the melting ...

 

This Benzo Glacier is moving and melting for all of us ... we all heal ... nobody gets left behind ... one day at a time ... over and over and over again ... until we see the Spring flowers ... through all the tears and frustration and suffering ... remember ... nothing stands still ... things are changing ... we are healing ...

 

Be Well ... have a good Monday ... 

 

and birds going about their birdness ...

wish I could do some of that ! 

 

Coop, thanks for getting back to me on the drop of water thing. yes, it was freaky. Now I have some pains, and head pressure that comes and goes. Nothing too bad but the vibrations have been brutal.

 

Another day in benzo wd, the tsunami like wave is still in full sway. I am so tired. Have nice week everybody.

 

 

[[No...]]

Hi Sky ... you have a good day too ... even though we are getting chased by the tsunami, we will get through the day ... 

[[No...]]

Coop ... how you doing? ... did you get any rest? ...

 

Got the head pressure and lousy breathing blues this morning ...

 

BTW ... I forgot to mention that I do get the achy/painy arms from time to time ... sometimes left, sometimes right, sometimes in stereo ... they always go away, and when they happen it makes me wonder ...

 

[[Fr...]]

Thanks Sky and Nova.

 

I'm still doing the same old same old, just trying to cope and get through another day.

 

L.

[[He...]]

Good morning,

 

My family and I slept in the new place last night, even though we aren't fully moved in. I actually was able to sleep fairly decently despite being edgy. I did wake to a cortisol rush about 5, with lots of anxiety, but was able to fall back to sleep for about an hour.  I need to get up and get ready for my day and am just feeling hesitant about everything that is new. Wish I could stay in bed!

 

Symptoms are holding in the "medium to none" category.

 

Ok, enough stalling.

 

Wishing you healing!

 

[[Sk...]]

Good morning,

 

My family and I slept in the new place last night, even though we aren't fully moved in. I actually was able to sleep fairly decently despite being edgy. I did wake to a cortisol rush about 5, with lots of anxiety, but was able to fall back to sleep for about an hour.  I need to get up and get ready for my day and am just feeling hesitant about everything that is new. Wish I could stay in bed!

 

Symptoms are holding in the "medium to none" category.

 

Ok, enough stalling.

 

Wishing you healing!

 

HH, that is really great. It shows how far you have come, doesn't it ? Really glad to hear that.

[[Fr...]]

Lately I seem to feel like I have a chronic virus in my body but don't.

 

Does anyone else feel (or have felt, OR heard of others) like this in wd?

 

It's like a low-grade, nonstop flu, yet I don't have the flu.  I ache all over real bad, have low-grade nerve pain in my legs, wake up after 7 hours and feel shitty and can't sleep more, day in, day out with no breaks since last week Monday. 

 

Has anyone seen a notching down of things as the months go on?

 

I am at 12 1/2 months, in a new phase and hoping this will notch down gradually.

 

L.

[[Co...]]

Thanks Nova,....sorry that your head pressure is back....I hate that one...have you had it all along?...I hope your day is looking better. Is the ice out of your parking lot?...We are having Spring here already...that helps. ...This has been a long wave for all of us...if it doesn't kill us we will recover and return to our selves....none too soon . I should probably stay off of the thread today as I am a out 100% cynical right now.

  .Nova...sending you big wishes for a good day....coop

[[Co...]]

Drew, ..so sorry the migraine hit you. Seems like most of us had a tough weekend. ...I did CBT training at the outset of my taper. I found it to be helpful especially during moderate waves and day to day coping. However, in a tough wave or in the midst of panic and/or raging health fears I lose my ability to access the centering effects of CBT...in those moments enduring and sometimes getting outside and moving gets me through. I also think that the added support of a benzo wise psychologist can only help. Green is doing therapy and she says it is helping her through.

  .Drew, I hope your day opens up to relief and some sunbreaks....coop

[[Co...]]

Lisa, yes and yes. My yukky wave started 8/9 days ago and started out just like you describe. I even posted that I thought I had a virus. I felt sick...virus sick. Dizzy, nauseous, diarrhea fatigued and weak ...body pain. It stayed exactly like that for a week...then I had one of the best windows yet.. the next day..back to the depths of the wave but not quite as sick. It absolutely stinks...I am glad you posted as it is always reassuring to know that our pain is yet again 'only w/d'...although w/d is horrible I guess the reassurance lies in knowing that it is not something more serious ...and it will let up at some point. ...Rest, BBs and hot Epsome salts bath soaks helped me endure it. ...feel better Lisa... coop

[[No...]]

Lisa ... I got a "big" cold back in December ... first one in years ... dragged on for three weeks ... and then this congestion and flu-like stuff has set in and not left ... waxes and wanes like everything else ...

[[No...]]

Coop ... I understand the "cynic" ... one of my persistent characters during self-talk ... a rather boring old fart ... but I guess they all get to have their say ...

 

Yep ... I have been walking around our parking lot the last two days ... sidewalks are still not good ... this will melt eventually ... maybe in a week or so ...

[[Aq...]]

I'm not feeling the best but hey...13 Months!!

[[dr...]]

congrats Aqua! Onward....

 

Well....my feelings of being permanantly broken are gone.  that migraine can leave my brain feeling so weird and me feelng such heavy DR it gets me every time.  Today I am back at my desk after a poor nights sleep passing the time.  I have a heavy underlying anxiety which is the norm unless I have effortless mind days.  If I get a panic or two it will be uncomfortable but I will deal.  I have had the bring it on attitude but last night I just lost it.

Being that I wonder what is me and what is this drug recovery I am looking forward to the CBT. Regardless if it's all due to benzos I need tools.  Hope everyone is doing ok

[[Sk...]]

I'm not feeling the best but hey...13 Months!!

 

That's the spirit, Aquaval !

 

Hope you get to feel better too though.

[[Fr...]]

Nova and Coop,

 

mine isn't an actual cold or virus though - just, my body feels that sick - I think it's wd but I fear I'll always feel sick.  I hurt so bad.  If it isn't wd I am not in good shape at all.

 

Most people here seem to have more sleep and anxiety issues whereas mine have been pain and feeling so off inside the brain.  I get very scared.

 

I'm sorry many of you are feeling crappy too.  I hope we all start to show major improvement soon.  I'm so weary and hear it in everyone here.  I miss living a life so much.  I know getting sad doesn't help but I do get sad.  I look at photos of my sons and cry because of all this and missing out on so much.  We ran some light errands today and I literally go about them with my husband feeling as I would when in bed with a bad flu minus a temp and nasal stuff. 

[[Sk...]]

Sorry I only read Lisa's post, today was awful.

 

Lisa, you are missing things, we all are and I get so angry too. But then, when we heal, we will live it all with a vengeance because it will be worth so much more and we won't give things for granted, like people who are not in wd do. And they do.

 

Trust me on this, I am sure that's how things will go. We suffer but after we will be so happy and live fuller lives, without benzos. 

Lisa, take note, you have to remind me of these things when I get moody and tired.

 

I am going to bed, today was really bad for me, hope it gets better soon.

[[Co...]]

Hi 12-18 ....it's quiet here tonight. I hope it means everyone is having a better day. .. I think my wave is lifting. ( as sure as I say that it will come back) I had pretty thick d/r and boatyness all day ...and then this afternoon it just quit.  like some one threw a switch. Leaving me with only a slight headache and residual health fear that is pretty minimal right now....hoping it holds...

....How are you doing Nova? .  Sleep well Sky. Drew and Lisa I hope you are both feeling better.

      Wishing all of us a peaceful restful night...we al need one.  coop

[[mr...]]

Aww Coop

 

Mrs.

[[Co...]]

FYI....Lapsis started a great new thread for dizziness and boatyness. Check it out.  Lapsis has listed a gazillion links to good reliable medical information regarding dizziness , ear function , brain function and how all of those things impact developement and sx and recovery. ...I learned a bunch already from reading her links....coop

[[Co...]]

Hi Mrs. ...how are you doing girlie ? ....Are your blues and body aches fading?.. You always sound so encouraging and positive even when you don't feel good.

....Hope you are on the upside friend...coop

[[No...]]

Hi Folks ... was very tired all day ... shut down early ... woke up an hour ago in panic ... this is crazy ... asking myself the really stupid question "what has this got to do with recovery?" ...

 

My inner core feels reliable and solid ... while seemingly all around me there is a storm raging ... like there are two us in residence ... weird ...

[[mr...]]

Doing good, Coop Somewhere between a window and a wave - I think its more like "recovery" from the last wave But its all good The "bad" is fading well and good, no worries

 

How's you? I'm just, you know, suckered into this whole Bachelor thingy!!!!! The good news is, I didn't start watching any of it until this weekend (we have hulu, so they stream the last 5-6 episodes). Anyhoos, the last episode won't air on hulu until tomorrow night, so I'm just trying to be patient!!!

 

Lol, I tell ya...first world problems!!!

 

Mrs.