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12-18 month support

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Posted
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Thanks for saying"hi" Nova.  I was hoping you'd be 100% by now but see that you are improving.  It is freezing cold here too and that isn't useful in wd.  I am so sore and exhausted. Things are changing and I'm waiting to see what happens.

 

HH, I'm sorry about your daughter but happy to hear she is doing fine.

 

L. 

 

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[mr...]
[mr...]

Hey gang,   I've posted this in the Benzo-free Celebrations section, but thought I'd post it here as well   Keep on keepin', gang!  You can DO this!   Mrs.  

[mr...]

[mr...]

Posted
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Heya gang. Just saying hi :)

 

Feeling somewhat wavy the past few days/weeks; some old & newer things here 'n there, some "popping" by for a visit. Some of this 'n that....y'all know. I am learning how to live and experience life, even anyways, and I am grateful for that. Oh, how I'm looking forward to the day where I giggle at all this! Smiling back on it, like it was an old foolish memory from my youthful days :) That is coming for us all! I'm looking forward to seeing all of us this time next year...I wonder of the conversations we'll share? Will it be of things we're doing, people we're seeing, places we're going? Will it be of all the victories we're making, and laughing at ourselves over shared stories of how "it used to be"? I presume that our discussions of withdrawal will dwindle, and our discussions of LIFE will take over... Oh, what a joy to ride that together with you all!

 

Okay, gang. I'm back to today :) I get the wonderful opportunity to work today, and then spend time with friends tonight; I will cherish both opportunities as I know that some do not currently share these opportunities in common with me :)

 

Happy Friday!

 

Mrs. :smitten:

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[dr...]

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Posted
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TGIF...very hard few weeks. This is the longest wave I've had in a while.  Almost 3 weeks!  No longer remember what it feels like to feel good.  This must be my 10-11 month whopper of a wave.  Lots of cycling during the day.  I feel fine one moment and then my brain goes all wonky the next.  In about an hour I am good until the next dealio hits.  My brain must be doing some serious readjusting.  it feels weird and got a bit scary yesterday with a feeling of it not being attached to me if that makes sense.  Getting low hissing and ringing, boatiness(which always scares me). Total cog fog and spaciness.  It isn't always followed with racing heart and cortisol rushes unless I let it get to me.  I know this is withdrawal because I never had anything like this before.  I have to keep telling myself this along with that my journey is far from over.  Trying to be accepting and not fighting. 

 

coop-so hoping you are getting relief

welcome filmdude!

Nova-you've paid your dues on this run along with the rest of us.

 

Healing thoughts to everyone else :smitten:

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Posted
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Lisa ... yep it sure would be nice to be done with this ... it is what it is for now ... hope you have a quiet day ...  :)
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Mrs ... you betcha' ... in another few months we will have to start an "Un-Support" group ... or maybe an "I Am Living Group" ... won't that be fun ...  ;)
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Drew ... these long waves are a bear ... a feisty growling one ... indeed I have paid some dues ... seems I still have a bit more to pay ... got any spare change? ...  ;D

 

Hang on my friend ... as long as we can stay out of the rabbit hole things won't feel "impossible" ...  :)

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[Co...]

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Drew,...I could have written your post myself...I had some relief from it yesterday.  Annnnd its back today.  Also one of the longest waves for me for a long time...We are going to get through it to better times.  coop
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Mrs ...I love your post about...what we will all be doing after we are feeling better.  I also look forward to remain g in the group long term to share our healed lives together.  I can't wait to see all the fun and amazing things everyone will be up to. Gone will be the couch days, and limited days and sleepless nights and neglected relationships and dreams. Such wonderful people here... with loving hearts.  The world is waiting....coop
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Sky...so sorry you are not getting your good day...what a rip off. I hope you enjoyed the bike ride. ..the Benzo beast owes you ...Sky...we are getting close to the 18 month mark...I watched the video that JRod posted and was so encouraged by it.  ..Wishing you a sunbreak...coop
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Nova,..somehow we bought the wrong cruise passes. I signed up for the luxury liner full service yacht...how did we end up in this rowboat of sx riding every wave that comes along...Let's get off at the next port..

....Me too, back in the soup today with depression and fatigue.. at least it's not deep d/r.. ...yep...another day of healing and 'going with'.  Hope it eases up through the day for both of us. ...time to knead up another loaf of bread...carry on....coop

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I must admit I am having a hard time thinking this will ever end when i am in these wonky brain waves.  It is a scary thought that I can be stuck feeling like this.  Rationally I know it will stop but while in it it doesn't feel that way at all.  Benzo brain is trying to trick me into thinking this is something else or just how I am.  grrrrr...  I know it is a symptom of the recovery but it still sucks
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Jrod. Thanks so much for the link to the video. I really needed to hear that. At 16 months and a few days I am slogging through a long wave..  It was wonderful to hear a real live w/d professional say that by 18 months most people are in the home stretch and starting to feel better.. Gave me the hope I need right now. How are you doing now? .  coop
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Drew, I go through that in every wave...I can't remember how I felt in a window when I am trying to keep my head up in a wave. I understand it on a cognitive level, but I can't feel it.. until the wave lifts. In a window the wave doesn't seem real...

....The detachment from the brain feeling is so wierd scary...I am so sorry you are getting that.. It's going to pass Drew.  You have had some great windows...more are coming. . coop

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Staying quiet ... tiptoeing around ... don't want to wake the beast ...

 

Coop ... at least the row boat doesn't leak ... just wish the toilet paper wasn't so rough ...  :tickedoff:

 

Drew ... hang on ... there is solid ground underneath all this stuff ...  ;)

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Drew, I go through that in every wave...I can't remember how I felt in a window when I am trying to keep my head up in a wave. I understand it on a cognitive level, but I can't feel it.. until the wave lifts. In a window the wave doesn't seem real...

....The detachment from the brain feeling is so wierd scary...I am so sorry you are getting that.. It's going to pass Drew.  You have had some great windows...more are coming. . coop

 

Explained so well. That is exactly how I feel too.

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[mr...]

[mr...]

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Oy - bleh. "Wired/tired", some anxiety, brief "boaty", some digestive "stuff", some "benzo flu-ish" feelings, etc. My sleep was a teensy bit "off" last night. Haven't had some of this stuff in a while ~ I'm thinking, betting, that this wave is bringing in a whole new level of healing, very soon here...

 

Thinking of you all also. Waves will be breaking soon :)

 

Mrs. :smitten:

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[Sk...]

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Mrs ...I love your post about...what we will all be doing after we are feeling better.  I also look forward to remain g in the group long term to share our healed lives together.  I can't wait to see all the fun and amazing things everyone will be up to. Gone will be the couch days, and limited days and sleepless nights and neglected relationships and dreams. Such wonderful people here... with loving hearts.  The world is waiting....coop

 

:smitten:

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[dr...]

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I'm now home and in bed.  I had tickets to see the show Newsies tonight and my gf couldn't go so I gave the tix to a friend.  No need to push myself.  I cry uncle! :'(.  I just have a massage tomorrow and an easy rehearsal Sunday morning.  It's beautiful here in the 70's but I'm not leaving my house except for those two things.  My brain has to downshift in a good way  Add in some tightness in chest and I've got quite the number going on here.  I hope this is near the end as when I'm at wits end I usually get a reprieve.  Thanks for support all :smitten:
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Mrs....,..something is going on...Green, Drew, and me. and someone else have had exactly the same sx in the last week or so. Dizziness, nausea, anxiety and stomach issues. ...hmmmm. ...Mine set in last Saturday . really really sick Saturday-Monday...now it's getting better.. so about a week. I thought I had a virus because I hadn't had that level of dizziness and nausea for a long time.  Now I think we are all struck with benzo- flu.  Whatever it is....it will get better.

....Feel better Mrs. .  coop

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Drew,...sorry you are missing the show...Glad to hear that you are getting some down time and a massage...it's important to take good care of yourself.  Rest well...coop
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[mr...]

[mr...]

Posted
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Mrs....,..something is going on...Green, Drew, and me. and someone else have had exactly the same sx in the last week or so. Dizziness, nausea, anxiety and stomach issues. ...hmmmm. ...Mine set in last Saturday . really really sick Saturday-Monday...now it's getting better.. so about a week. I thought I had a virus because I hadn't had that level of dizziness and nausea for a long time.  Now I think we are all struck with benzo- flu.  Whatever it is....it will get better.

....Feel better Mrs. .  coop

 

So we're all experiencing similar stuff? Okay, who didn't wash their hands after flushing?!?... :2funny:

 

But seriously, it is nice to know that we're not alone :) TGIF! The weekend is here, and we can all rest now :)

 

I declare this weekend a WINDOW WEEKEND for us all! Let the good times roll.

 

Mrs. :smitten:

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[dr...]

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Posted
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Hi all...I'm in a bad way tonight.  Catastrophic thoughts about never getting better and health anxiety.  I went for a two mile gentle walk and my whole diaphragm was tight along w shin pain. I know it sounds silly but I start focusing on getting worse and not being able to walk, work, or think straight.  I took a bath and my whole chest feels better but legs very tight and bones hurt.  I wish I didn't get scared and work myself up.  Sorry
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