12-18 month support

[[Gr...]]

Hi everyone,

I hope your all doing better today. I thought I'd share something funny.. Well I've been working out and going on hikes and I woke up the other day and could not walk on my right leg because my right knee hurt. I thought I must have overdone it and pulled something during my exercise or hike. I spent 2 days hobbling along- I literally looked like a freak of nature with how I was trying to walk.. I even iced my knee but no it still hurt. Then today I wake up and can walk perfectly.. Could my knee pain have been a w/d sx I feel like I blame everything on w/d, but how can I just wake up and it be perfectly fine? Anyhow just want you all to know I'm feeling much better since that last wave, I feel like all my sx  just lifted a little-- still there but not as intense. I'm sure there is another one lurking around the corner, but I'm trying to view them as healing because I always feel better after a bad one. Jenny

 

Jenny,

 

I'm so happy to hear you are feeling better, and soo happy (cuz maybe I'm next? ) to hear you are hiking and exercising.  On the temporary bum knee.  yes, it's withdrawal, yes, I've had knee issues, feet issues, whatever, I've had it.  I don't think it even responds to ice or anti-inflammatories. it's like every other crazy wd sx, just drops in and drops out whenever, no rhyme, no reason.  It might be a tiny overuse that feels like gangbusters in withdrawal.  anyway, keep on hiking, keep on exercising, hope I'm right behind you!

[[Gr...]]

does anyone get frozen Reynaud's fingers?  I get "freezing cold" like after dinner, can't get warm, and my fingers are so frozen they're stiff.  lasts 2-3 hours, goes away.  every night.

[[Co...]]

Nova and Jenny....SO  happy to read that you are both feeling better....your posts are breathing  hope into my poor worn out soul today. Lead on...the rest of us are following your foot prints.. leave a lot of bread crumbs....some of us travel in the dead of night.  Doing a happy dance for both of you..

....Jenny.  yes, I have had shin and/or hip pain that hobbles me for a few days and then...wella!  it just disappears.. just like Green said...no rhyme.  no reason.  no plan.. no pattern..I wish I could say that I am getting my yoga in but I have been on the sidelines since saturday...but it is beginning to feel like it might be lifting...crossing my fingers.....coop

[[No...]]

Green ... when I am in the wave ... after eating I will often get all sweaty ... after an hour or so, the chills ... lasts for maybe three or four hours ... no "frozen" fingers though ...

 

No wave no sweats/chills ...

[[No...]]

Coop ... this one will pop off for you soon ... I am doing pretty good today ... very tired and some flu like stuff ... no wave stuff ... tossing out lots of bread crumbs ... 

[[Co...]]

Green...I was running around on Sat. in 2 jackets and 3 pairs of socks.  I could not get warm even inside. My whole body was freezing but my feet were worse than my hands. I was freezing g for 3 days...just this afternoon it is starting to fade Once again we are rowing the same boat.. has to be w/d. Are you starting to feel better?  I was scared and miserable and way dizzy/boaty with nausea and diarrhea again this morning and wild mini panics..  now a lot of it seems to be easing.. very tired but I think I might be on my way out of this one. Is your dizzy/boaty nauseous bug lessening ? ...I hope so....no other way but onward so.  on we march towards better days....coop

 

 

[[Co...]]

Drew,....I hate it that you are suffering the Benzo voice anxiety...you are not going to be stuck there. I don't know how you show up at work with sx...I have a hard time walking my dog with sx...if it's any consolation, I can't do my yoga routine during a bad wave either. ...there is a liquid form of advil available , I think it is labeled as arthritis formulation...it might be easier on your stomach...you are going to roll out of this Drew...I hate benzos....coop

[[mr...]]

does anyone get frozen Reynaud's fingers?  I get "freezing cold" like after dinner, can't get warm, and my fingers are so frozen they're stiff.  lasts 2-3 hours, goes away.  every night.

 

Mr bought me rechargeable heated gloves for Christmas, and I wear 3/4 gloves at work everyday.

 

Does that answer your question?

 

We can't make this stuff up can we?!?

 

Mrs.

[[be...]]

Hi everyone,

I hope your all doing better today. I thought I'd share something funny.. Well I've been working out and going on hikes and I woke up the other day and could not walk on my right leg because my right knee hurt. I thought I must have overdone it and pulled something during my exercise or hike. I spent 2 days hobbling along- I literally looked like a freak of nature with how I was trying to walk.. I even iced my knee but no it still hurt. Then today I wake up and can walk perfectly.. Could my knee pain have been a w/d sx I feel like I blame everything on w/d, but how can I just wake up and it be perfectly fine? Anyhow just want you all to know I'm feeling much better since that last wave, I feel like all my sx  just lifted a little-- still there but not as intense. I'm sure there is another one lurking around the corner, but I'm trying to view them as healing because I always feel better after a bad one. Jenny

 

Omg Jenny, same here. I didn't work out or anything but I had my granddaughter over for several hours and was on my feet a lot having fun with her( oh, I guess it was a workout...lol.) We made cookies and played games. Yesterday morning I went to get out of bed and my right knee was frozen with pain. I hobbled on it as best I could but the pain was so bad I finally had to take to the couch.

This morning I woke up with no knee pain at all, just as though it never happened. I thought for sure I would be limping around for days.

I'm still tired from all the stimulation but it was so worth it. I even ate a cookie and nothing bad happened....woo hoo. 

I'm getting there and so is everyone else!!!!! Yes, this healing is so slow and back and fourth but we are doing it everyday.

Big hugs to everyone.

[[63...]]

Hi all...  I don't know how you all do without the sleep.  I did thirty minutes of light exercise yesterday and I felt good until shortly after.  Legs, neck, and back started tightening up immediately.  I took two Advil and that made me nauseous. Tragic comedy.    One thing leads to the other.  Then I had a terrible night of sleep and am now at work with high anxiety. 

I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.  i need to exercise to try and be healthy and maintain my sanity but it just doesn't agree with me.  it revved me this time but some times it doesn't.  I also didn't go hog wild on the intensity. ugh!

 

My benzo anxiety brain is also telling me today I won't get any better from here and that i I'm stuck in this purgatory.  It's all underlying stuff that isn't benzo related.  I then read how so many others have what is going on as I do and know in my heart it is benzo related.  Sorry for being a downer today. 

 

I tell you, if its not one thing, its another. If it isn't enough to have the "health fear" going on at every turn, then its the "its underlying stuff that's driving this". You are so not alone in this Drew. For some reason, the "underlying stuff" has really hit me hard over the last several weeks or so. It can really take me for a ride. I so very hope that you are able to get some relief soon!

[[Gr...]]

Drew ... just woke from a four hour "nap" ... my wave broke during the night last night and clarity is holding ... it was a three or four day spirit buster ...

 

And ... the damned if you do and damned if you don't seems to be all part of the package ...

 

Hang on my friend ... we know how to do this ...

 

LM ... you too ...

 

 

Nova,

I am so happy to hear this, you and Jenny.  You've had a hell of a time.

[[Gr...]]

Green ... when I am in the wave ... after eating I will often get all sweaty ... after an hour or so, the chills ... lasts for maybe three or four hours ... no "frozen" fingers though ...

 

No wave no sweats/chills ...

 

Nova, I know about after eating in waves, some bizarre food reaction.  I remember lostdog had a theory, something about eating different food groups in one sitting and the effect on the brain?  I don't know.  I get the sweats and chills.  this is frozen, like I've been out in the snow and freezing cold and my body can't get warm?  this freezing cold is new, with ten little frozen digits?  This sounds so, so crazy, anywhere, except here, in withdrawal land, where the bizarre is our every day living.

 

Glad to hear your wave is lifting a little.  I hope that holds.

[[Gr...]]

Green...I was running around on Sat. in 2 jackets and 3 pairs of socks.  I could not get warm even inside. My whole body was freezing but my feet were worse than my hands. I was freezing g for 3 days...just this afternoon it is starting to fade Once again we are rowing the same boat.. has to be w/d. Are you starting to feel better?  I was scared and miserable and way dizzy/boaty with nausea and diarrhea again this morning and wild mini panics..  now a lot of it seems to be easing.. very tired but I think I might be on my way out of this one. Is your dizzy/boaty nauseous bug lessening ? ...I hope so....no other way but onward so.  on we march towards better days....coop

 

Oh, Coop, we're in the same wave boat   diarrhea has been very, very bad, and the mini panics.  the panics break with a sweat and some tingling and flushing?  I was so cold I was bundled under a bunch of blankets and, like you, could not get warm.  And the benzo belly, I think you said you don't get that?  a half piece of toast will push it out to pregnant magnitude?  thing is, the DR is better during all of this.  No, we don't ever get a break, we just have to pick our poison, which sx are the most tolerable.

 

The weather here is awful, very icy, it's getting on my nerves now.

[[Gr...]]

does anyone get frozen Reynaud's fingers?  I get "freezing cold" like after dinner, can't get warm, and my fingers are so frozen they're stiff.  lasts 2-3 hours, goes away.  every night.

 

Mr bought me rechargeable heated gloves for Christmas, and I wear 3/4 gloves at work everyday.

 

Does that answer your question?

 

We can't make this stuff up can we?!?

 

Mrs.

 

rechargeable heated gloves.  now if that's not love, I don't know what is   No, Mrs., we cannot make this stuff up.  When it comes to benzo withdrawal symptoms, Stephen King has to be involved.!

[[Co...]]

Hi Beulah...I love to see your posts. 18 months. .whooo-hooo!...It sounds like you had a wonderful gramma day with your little sweetie. How old is she? ...I am so glad you come on from time to time. You were one of the first people I met here. You are sounding so much better. It has been a long long d steep travel ...it is so encouraging to see people a little further out making good progress. I get tired so easy too. What I used to do without thinking about it now leaves me whipped. Still...last year I wasn't out of bed much....now..I am busy all day ( mostly just puttering and doing little projects in my house and walking my dog outside throughout the day).

.....Beulah, I will always remember when you couldn't walk...now at 18 months you are baking with your granddaughter and being on your feet all day. ...keep it going Beulah....and keep us posted...So glad you are getting so close....love to you.....coop

[[Co...]]

Hi Robert,.....how are you doing half way into month 10? ...The underlying stuff does seem to go on on a daily basis forever. I think  you will see some easing of the underlying w/d bedrock around one year or so. I am really glad to see you on our thread. I am sorry that you are getting hard hit right now...The sx seem to march on, but somehow , aside from bad waves, we seem to tolerate them a little better towards the end of year one and into year two. ...You are well on your way . There is huge support here...we are all going to get to the end of this. ...Hope you get some sunbreaks soon....coop

[[je...]]

does anyone get frozen Reynaud's fingers?  I get "freezing cold" like after dinner, can't get warm, and my fingers are so frozen they're stiff.  lasts 2-3 hours, goes away.  every night.

 

 

Yes, I have had this before.. My hands were frozen and I couldn't move them. Even after I got them semi warmed up they were stiff and hard to move. Its gone for now, but my hands are always cold. My body temp is screwed up too, I'm either freezing cold and can't get warm, or I'm hot and sweating. Seems I'm never the right body temperature.

[[je...]]

Hi everyone,

I hope your all doing better today. I thought I'd share something funny.. Well I've been working out and going on hikes and I woke up the other day and could not walk on my right leg because my right knee hurt. I thought I must have overdone it and pulled something during my exercise or hike. I spent 2 days hobbling along- I literally looked like a freak of nature with how I was trying to walk.. I even iced my knee but no it still hurt. Then today I wake up and can walk perfectly.. Could my knee pain have been a w/d sx I feel like I blame everything on w/d, but how can I just wake up and it be perfectly fine? Anyhow just want you all to know I'm feeling much better since that last wave, I feel like all my sx  just lifted a little-- still there but not as intense. I'm sure there is another one lurking around the corner, but I'm trying to view them as healing because I always feel better after a bad one. Jenny

 

Omg Jenny, same here. I didn't work out or anything but I had my granddaughter over for several hours and was on my feet a lot having fun with her( oh, I guess it was a workout...lol.) We made cookies and played games. Yesterday morning I went to get out of bed and my right knee was frozen with pain. I hobbled on it as best I could but the pain was so bad I finally had to take to the couch.

This morning I woke up with no knee pain at all, just as though it never happened. I thought for sure I would be limping around for days.

I'm still tired from all the stimulation but it was so worth it. I even ate a cookie and nothing bad happened....woo hoo. 

I'm getting there and so is everyone else!!!!! Yes, this healing is so slow and back and fourth but we are doing it everyday.

Big hugs to everyone.

 

 

Beulah,

Thank you for posting this! I can't believe we had the same thing happen, and even on the same knee hard to believe this stuff. How is your nerve pain? Mine has finally dialed down a few notches, much more tolerable-- I hope is continues to improve. Did you have nerve pain with your first w/d and how long did it last? Love, Jenny

[[dr...]]

This whole thread reminds me of the movie Jaws.  The scene where they are on the boat and comparing scars.     

 

 

[[63...]]

This whole thread reminds me of the movie Jaws.  The scene where they are on the boat and comparing scars.   

 

Ha, that's awesome! Well done

[[63...]]

Hi coop! Thanks for asking about me. I read this thread daily and i just love you all here so much.

 

Its been quite a ride for me of late....huge waves with really big windows sprinkled here and there. I had a window last Thursday that was unbelievable, it was so good, I honestly cried tears of joy. I know healing is coming sometime, for all of us. With Friday came bad heart palps and chest stuff, including the breathing crap. Rapid cycling over the weekend and Monday. Today, I have been hammered by my friends head pressure and agitation/anxiety. I feel like I have had a great deal of healing since January...I feel it in my base line and see it in windows.

[[63...]]

Coop...

 

I can't do my yoga very much either.  It can really rev up my system. I had two weeks in January where I was really able to get back into my yoga routine without rev'ing symptoms and it was great, it felt good. I just have to go with whatever my body and nervous system will allow at that time. I will push myself though from time to time.  I have this notion that yoga might speed up my healing, but who knows, probably wishful thinking.

[[Gr...]]

does anyone get frozen Reynaud's fingers?  I get "freezing cold" like after dinner, can't get warm, and my fingers are so frozen they're stiff.  lasts 2-3 hours, goes away.  every night.

 

 

Yes, I have had this before.. My hands were frozen and I couldn't move them. Even after I got them semi warmed up they were stiff and hard to move. Its gone for now, but my hands are always cold. My body temp is screwed up too, I'm either freezing cold and can't get warm, or I'm hot and sweating. Seems I'm never the right body temperature.

 

Jenny,

 

Yeah, it's 70 in here, and I'm icy.  I know it will pass.

 

I was just reading your whole signature.  You really have not had many breaks.  Month 16 looks like a tough one for everyone.

 

I'm so glad you're doing better.  Let's hope this is the beginning of the end.

[[Co...]]

Green,.. the mini panics...yes, mine hit with dizziness or boatyness and the flush that you describe and then the stunned sensation and all the bells and whistles of 911...doom. sometimes I can back it down or stop it in its tracks at the dizzines if I get my head unstuck and deep breathe in time. ...they only last a minute but in this wave they cascade one over another...like way back in tolerance and taper...but it seems to be moving on ....I absolutely did not think I would be getting heart stopping mini panics so far out after months of no panics excepting a random one here and there. ...oh well....chop wood carry water....or ice cream...coop

[[Co...]]

Drew,...lol...I can see that so vividly...all of us rocking in a boat on a mammoth wave ...showing our scars..How is your anxiety tonight? ....I hope it's quiet...coop