12-18 month support

[[mr...]]

Sky, I always like the longer posts.  Write away!! I'm glad you are getting a break today.  That is pretty creepy about the guy....especially that he posted your picture! Hopefully you can block him on all accounts.  Some people are just so bizarre! 

 

Beulah, I'm so sorry that you are struggling this month! This just sucks!! You are right, though.  You ARE healing!  Hang in there. 

 

Seconded!!

 

Mrs.

[[mr...]]

Heya gang,

 

A much better feeling Mrs comin' at ya! A big thank you to all who picked me up, in thoughts/prayers/postings, the past few days - it helped!

 

HH - GREAT news! Walking & vitamins, what a plus! You know how I am with nutrition & supplementation and such It was hard to go through a phase where I needed to hold back on those things, so I can totally relate!

 

Sky - I haven't had those exact same perception symptoms per say, but I have had similar ones. I think those types of symptoms - weird distorted perceptions of things we see/hear/touch/feel - are another "version" per say of dp/dr or something Its not uncommon, that I know!

 

Mr and I just got back in town from helping my dad host my stepmom's surprise retirement party. It went great, and she was totally surprised! We took a bunch of ideas from Pinterest and had some neat decorations and activities to do - what a hoot! Like, one of them was we had a little sand bucket (like you use at the beach) with some cute note cards & pens sitting next to it, for everyone to write down some "bucket list" ideas & suggestions for her to do! I also made a large wall clock that had the numbers scattered at the bottom, like they'd "fallen" down, and the words across the back of the clock read: "Whatever - I'm retired!!" We had bundles of Dum-Dum suckers with little cards attached that had one of three phrases written: "Work sucks!" (get it? - Dum-Dums are suckers? Mr had to explain it to me - benzo brain!), "Free-Dum!", and "Work is for dum-dums!" We also made a gift basket for her that had a bottle of wine and a wine glass that I customized with the phrase written on it: "Retirement: Goodbye tension, hello pension!" I also included some trail mix with a note card attached: "Happy trails to you!" We blew up 30 balloons and had them sitting all over the table & floors, for fun - and by "we" blew them up, I mean ANYONE else but me haha!! I'd possibly get dizzy or something, so no blowing up balloons for Mrs!

 

My favorite thing we did, by far, was: I took a large white rectangular stiff poster board and made it look like a large lifesized polaroid picture frame. On the bottom of it, I wrote "Mom's Retirement Party 2015". I then brought a bunch of goofy & fun props - like super sized clown glasses, feather boas, fake mustaches, silly hats, fake money, Mardi Gras beads, etc - and I had each person pick out 2-3 props to put on/use. Then, one by one, I had them sit in front of a backdrop cloth we hung and hold the fake polaroid poster board in front if them, like they're in a picture frame. And I snapped a photo!!! So, we got a picture of everyone that came to the party (minus two picture haters!) that I'll print out and put in a scrap book for her to remember the day with It was super fun, and the pictures turned out great!

 

For food, we did a taco bar, with a fresh fruit tray, fresh vegetable tray, meat & cheese & crackers tray, and my dad had a special sheet cake made for dessert. Hawaiian punch & sodas for drinks, along with too much ice cream So delicious! All in all, it was a great time I'd say that for 97-99% of the time, I did not have ANY thoughts about withdrawal & such. Wow! That felt GOOD Just a couple moments - and I do mean only momentary - of anxiety, like when we piled into the room to wait to hollar "Surprise!" But I believe it was probably just excitement that my CNS simply misread for a moment It passed almost the second it came, so no big deal

 

All was GREAT!

 

And now, Mr & I are cozied up at home & I am snuggled up underneath a warm fuzzy blanket (Mr calls it "lamb inferno" haha!) and dozing off to watching YouTube four wheeling videos (totally Mr's thing, I'm just a good "supportive" wifey ). Good day here, gang I thank the Lord for this! Hooray

 

Okay, time to be done for now Happy Sunday night to you all!

 

Mrs.

[[mr...]]

 

Sky - I haven't had those exact same perception symptoms per say, but I have had similar ones. I think those types of symptoms - weird distorted perceptions of things we see/hear/touch/feel - are another "version" per say of dp/dr or something Its not uncommon, that I know!

 

 

Okay, I just thought of one as an example of what I've experienced like this!!

 

We were watching some YouTube videos by the guy "zefrank", who is most well known for his series called "Sad Cat Diaries" / "Sad Dog Diaries" and the "Interesting Facts About..." - which are HILARIOUS, BTW!! (Some modest "adult" & "bathroom" humor, FYI - exercise caution before viewing within ear shot of children before previewing & approving yourself first ) Anyways, he has a distinct voice in doing documentary type reading. So, hours later, we were watching YouTube videos of four wheeling with commentary, and I kept hearing the reader's voices in "zefrank" style & tone Weird! And also, kinda strangely funny! If you watch one, or have watched one, of his videos, you'd know what I'm talking about!!

 

Anyways, you're normal Your perceptions are healing quite well! Love to you Sky,

 

Mrs.

[[Gr...]]

Green, Thank you so much for those posts...I just love you for sharing so much with us. ...That is exactly how I felt.  Freaking like my mind literally no longer existed and I was going with it.. in this entire 18 months I have not had that. I am beginning to understand that what doesn't knock us around in the first year will circle around and clobber us in year 2.. Fortunately by year 2 most of us have made good friends here and have better support, knowledge and grit than we did in year one. I am now understanding that I have had d/r all along including during the beginning of my use. I have been intrepring it as light headedress and cog fog which seem to be all mixed into it. I have also experienced pre-panic with it, but I thought it was the beginning of the panic. I had a lot of clarity this morning that gradually morphed into d/r and spaciness this afternoon that I am managing thanks to your post and Drew's and everybody's support. It seems as though this is a new kind of wave....regular d/r.  Thank you very much benzo beast. There can't be much left in the arsenal that I haven't been hit with.  With help from my friends I am still standing.

....Your trip sounds wonderful.  You sound so empowered and ready to getting back to something that you love. A big brave step. I am with you all the way. I am glad you have that escape clause in your internal dialouge...and that if needed you can delay it without penalty. Just making the plan and doing the flight would be huge for me.

...thank you so much Green...I appreciate your time here so much...it is such a support to all of us.  Love to you sx buddy and happy Valentines Day to you....coop

 

Thank you, Coop, but I'm not that tough, I don't think.  I have a plan B, postpone trip if necessary.  and that might just happen.  I'm very positive, but I'm really not all that functional.  I can't roll myself out in the morning, I don't have lots of energy, the stamina for a whole day.  I'm hoping I'm ready by May 2, but -- all along I've projected into the future, a social engagement, a commitment, and said, oh, surely I'll be better by such and such a date, that's so far away from now -  and that date comes and goes and I'm not there yet.  I know everybody here has gone through that.  We hit the milestones and are stunned that we're not doing more.  I think it's good that I'm trying, that I'm hopeful, that's the healing.  If I can't, I won't.  I start month 16 tomorrow.  I'll have 18 months by May,  my God, I have to be better by then!!! :'(

 

Anyway, I relate to all the symptoms, Nova's groin to throat panic -- mine goes up to my head.  And I've got the revving, a little poised for panic and vibrations.  Do you guys notice increased urination when this comes?  I had this last year, I know I did, but it's not as bad now.  not pleasant, but not as bad as last year.

 

okay, feel a little panic coming on, so I'm going to distract a little.

 

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

 

Yes! I notice when my anxiety is up, I feel like I am peeing every 10 minutes or less! I just started noticing this recently! It's really annoying! grrrrrr!

 

has anyone noticed adrenaline surges lately? After acute these went away conpletely but for the last two days, I have been having these all day and night (makes for a fun night of sleeping! 😡). I also keep finding my body tensing through all of these! This morning it happened again and I just said "fine...have a panic attack! I don't care!".. and nothing happened! This crap has just got to end!! I'm so done with it all!

 

Hi.  I read your signature.  Sounds like you're right on track.  So what happens is that will pass, the anxiety and frequent peeing, and you'll get something else for a while.  Or not!  This forum saved my life, continues to save it. Whenever I get some crazy weird symptom, I know there's someone here who had it, so it must be withdrawal.  Hang in there.  What was your jump date?

[[Gr...]]

Today I am getting a break. But I realize that my perception of reality is still quite flawed.

 

What does not help, is that people out there are nuts , present company excluded. YEsterday, I had booked a session to have a conversation in French, with a native French tutor. The guy, a kid, after the lesson, wrote in  the feedback some flirtacious comments, and then,  he sent me a poem, with each verse starting  with a letter from my name, an acrostic poem. THen, all that was not enough, he posted that poem on a poetry social network with my picture and I found out, only because, when I  saw the poem, I googled it to see who had written it, I did not know the tutor had written it.

 

Crazy right ? why does something like that, have to happen when I am so impressionable ? But life does not stop, just because we are in wd, as you all know  much better than me, and jerks don't take a break, they always work overtime. The whole thing made me feel dirty, as if I had cheated on mr Sky somehow.

 

These little lessons, help me take my mind off things, shift my focus, they are a little prize for having worked hard all week. Guess I must stick to female tutors.

BAck to wd. I have this happen to me. I see a picture, a film, and I have this feeling of being there, in the picture, film and it is mindblowing, it is not a bad thing necessarily, but I KNOW it's wrong, it feels wrong.

THen, when I look at people, real or in a picture, I see how they were when they were young, and how they will be when they are older. THAT is soooo creeepy !

 

 

Another thing is food. If the food is not super fresh, I notice it. I never noticed anything in my life, I do notice it now, only I feel it as a very strong bad taste, whereas nobody else notices it. sometime it keeps me from eating, and we have noticed that it hits me with food that was cooked a day or two ago.

 

Yesterday, mr Sky bought me a lovely big teddy bear. I needed one, to hold on to at night, when my heart gets  bad, I just hold on to Mr SKy and the teddy bear all night long. I had my childhood teddy bear, but it's really in tatters, I needed one more "equipped" to  handle an emergency !

 

Hope I have not creeped you out with all this !

 

We had a special meal, we could not afford a meal at our favourite restaurant but what we did was quite nice and romantic. Next year, we will be sooo splurging and eating something super nice. Wd has improved mr Sky's cooking skills, he is making some amazing stuff.

 

One last thing. Last night, I dreamt we met up somewhere. We were healed and happy and we took a picture which we posted on FAcebook and we called it " the survivors " and our friends had no idea what we were talking about !!

I had not realized that I my post was so long !! Sorry about that, but I don't post often so bear with me today !

 

Oh, Sky, my friend, the thing with the psychopath would totally freak me out right now!  A nice young man I know gave me a hug and it crossed my mind that he might be a killer, I'm back to thoughts that someone is going to hurt or kill me.  It's not bad enough that I don't leave the house, but it's a little unsettling thinking about it.

 

So keep that in mind, where I'm at, when I offer my concerns that the acrostic poet may be a legit psychopath.  Fortunately, it was online and he doesn't know how to contact you?  Wouldn't it be nice to just think he was smitten and how charming he wrote you a poem?  just be cautious.

 

That being in the picture, I think it's a form of DR.  where the regular world is unreal and we slip into T.V. or a picture.  As I said, I get the DP/DR pretty intense, I think it's that with a smidgen of intrusive thoughts.  I've got the scary monster thing going on, when I get to bed, close my eyes, the images in my head are horror movie visuals.  Don't know where it all comes from.

 

Im glad you and Mr. S. had a nice Valentine's Day.  And, yes, by this time next year, things are going to be a lot different!

 

 

[[Gr...]]

Hi all,

Laying on the couch today giving myself a pity party. Month 19 has not been kind to me so far.

I have been in more waves this month than not, when the waves lift it' s usually just a few hours or a day. I entered my eighteenth month in a wave but the rest of the month was pretty good.

This month I have gone back to acute symptoms a few times and the nerve pain has been a ten.

I'm praying this is all a pathway for some good healing.

Anyone still doing the teeth clenching? I was doing the teeth clenching 24/7 for a long time, now only when in a wave.

These waves are milder in the sense that everything that could be thrown at me...is not. The waves are more of locked up head pain, intrusive thoughts, all over body tightness, and fear of the unknown.

The nerve pain never leaves just gets milder.

The worst thing about my waves is the me me me, I'm so sick and tired of focusing on my needy self.

 

On the bright side...I know that I'm healing...I have made much progress and I will get through this...and the SUN is  8)shining. It's very cold but sunny.

 

Thinking of you all   Be Well.

 

Beulah, I'm so sorry to hear of your wave.  Let's hope it breaks fast.  I'm not surprised that you're having a tough time in month 19.  Lostdog, eli1111, both 22 months, and both had a tough time right up until the end.  Let's hope this wave is your last.  One of these days that actually has to be true!  For all of us!

[[Gr...]]

Hi everyone,

I am proud of myself because I went on a 2 1/2 mile brisk walk today.  For some reason, probably all my heart worries earlier, I stopped going on walks last fall.  It felt good and I am going to start meeting my friend for early morning walks again. 

My dog was very happy!

 

I realized another subtle sign of healing....I can take a multi-vitamin again without being miserably revved up.  I take one almost every day now.    Funny how things start regulating bit by bit.

 

Love to you all,

HH

[[Co...]]

Just jumping back in.  My window from yesterday pasted all the way through this afternoon.  So normal...90-95% wide open window.  Now , this evening back in the soup. That's consistent with how my windows go.  12-36 hours. Then the carriage is back to being a pumpkin...Makes me cry. ...So now, boaty, dizzy, pretty deep d/r and cog fog...anxiety is not too bad.  depression teasing me, yada yada .. It starts with spacey almost sedated feeling now and morphs into d/r.  Act 100, scene 2...on it goes. 

...NOVA, ...yes, I have been where you are with looking up stuff...meningitis ..yes I completely understand the rabbit holes our minds lead us down. So sorry. ..The little moments of connection back to our selves and our bodies and minds are the crumbs of reassurance and faith that keep us going and I think they are truly little promises of healing. I am so glad you are getting moments of them..In a window I feel 100% integrated...when it closes I am doing good to connect with even one face of myself...usually not the face of sanity and rational.. hope the ice on your windows lets some sun in tomorrow..

....GREEN.. You are strong..and brave. I know the ups and downs are enough to give us whiplash but you are unshakable in your belief that we will heal The fact that you can plan a flight and a bike trip ...just the planning of it is light years ahead of me. ...I too, have looked into ' 3 months from now', '2 days from now', ' in the spring', ' by Christmas '...etc etc. I think that is what discourages me the most...not being able to make dependable plans...not being able to look forward to an event without a plan B...makes me cry...Lotta cryin' going on here this afternoon. ..lol. This is the only thing I know this evening....yesterday was so sweet...my sunbreaks are coming along closer together and I am in this to month 24..and I can't think past that because it gets me in trouble. I think it was Drew who said, put off all health fears until month 24.  I am going with that. Is your d/r weaving in and out? I am having better mornings but the d/r is almost predictable to set up camp in my head right around 1pm...sigh

.....SKY....I love you long posts. I think things like teddy bears are so helpful.  I have a sweet old real life dog who sleeps on the end of my bed and eats popcorn and cries with me over stupid baby commercials . ...I have an old beat up cashmere sweater that I wear to bed every night...comforts are few in this travel glad you have a new bear ...Don't pay any mind to the perv who went public with his creepiness on fb.. as if we don't have enough  challenge. He showed himself as a creep-o...not you. ..Sky, I think of you every day when I read your posts and every day I want your palps to stop. ..I am sending wishes for sunbreaks and healing ..

......HH....wow...exercising...and dinner out...and an iffy day that gave way to better. You are doing so good HH. and I am so happy for you and following you with hope and encouragement.. You are going to be ready for your trip. 

.....I am sure I have missed some posts. My d/r and cog fog are working overtime tonight. Hoping I can follow the SNL revue tonight....I am so thankful for all of you...in the all too often times that I can not connect to my own mind or environment I come here and find the connection of friendship... thank you. Hoping we all get up tomorrow to more healing ....coop

 

[[mr...]]

 

That being in the picture, I think it's a form of DR.  where the regular world is unreal and we slip into T.V. or a picture.  As I said, I get the DP/DR pretty intense, I think it's that with a smidgen of intrusive thoughts.  I've got the scary monster thing going on, when I get to bed, close my eyes, the images in my head are horror movie visuals.  Don't know where it all comes from.

 

Im glad you and Mr. S. had a nice Valentine's Day.  And, yes, by this time next year, things are going to be a lot different!

 

Green,

 

I used to have the TV running with Friends playing 24/7. Literally. I kept the volume turned up at night, too, because then I would dream using the voices & phrases on the TV versus my own thoughts!! Poor Mr...once I stopped watching Friends, he was SOOOO grateful!!! We have all ten seasons memorized, practically frontwards, backwards, sideways, and inbetween!

 

...how YOU doin'?!?...

 

Mrs.

[[Co...]]

Beulah, man...I am so sorry month 19 a tough one for you. Nobody should have to go through this crap. Why dosent the medical field know more so scientists can discover treatment for this hell. ...I feel like I know completely what mental illness feels like .  .because I have been living it for the past 3 years....all the way through tolerance, taper, and w/d. How any of us do this is beyond me.  Green is right...lostdog and eli.. sx all the way up to the end. ..Hope your wave let's up.. not ever to come back.  coop

[[Co...]]

Green, I still have the TV going on all night...Same thing here, if I close my eyes without an external conversation going on I get big intrusive thoughts. I have to fall asleep unintentionally. ..Frasier, Friends, Modern Family.  etc etc.  I have seen them all a gazillion times.. I want my life back.

[[He...]]

A quick post before going to bed to share another big sign of healing. My daughter, who was at a basketball tournament this weekend without us, severely sprained her ankle in the championship game. We didn't know if it was broken or not until she got home and we could get her up to the ER for X-rays. The good news was it was not broken, just a nasty sprain. The other good news is that it didn't cause me to panic! Even when she was 3 hours away and all I knew was she was hurt pretty bad, I had NORMAL mom reactions....not benzo reactions. So far they haven't come crashing down on me after the fact.

 

Things really WILL get better.

[[Gr...]]

 

That being in the picture, I think it's a form of DR.  where the regular world is unreal and we slip into T.V. or a picture.  As I said, I get the DP/DR pretty intense, I think it's that with a smidgen of intrusive thoughts.  I've got the scary monster thing going on, when I get to bed, close my eyes, the images in my head are horror movie visuals.  Don't know where it all comes from.

 

Im glad you and Mr. S. had a nice Valentine's Day.  And, yes, by this time next year, things are going to be a lot different!

 

Green,

 

I used to have the TV running with Friends playing 24/7. Literally. I kept the volume turned up at night, too, because then I would dream using the voices & phrases on the TV versus my own thoughts!! Poor Mr...once I stopped watching Friends, he was SOOOO grateful!!! We have all ten seasons memorized, practically frontwards, backwards, sideways, and inbetween!

 

...how YOU doin'?!?...

 

Mrs.

 

I just wrote you a long response -- realized you were channeling Joey on Friends, lost my post, and here I am.  How am I?  I still sleep with the light on, lol    How are you?

[[Gr...]]

A quick post before going to bed to share another big sign of healing. My daughter, who was at a basketball tournament this weekend without us, severely sprained her ankle in the championship game. We didn't know if it was broken or not until she got home and we could get her up to the ER for X-rays. The good news was it was not broken, just a nasty sprain. The other good news is that it didn't cause me to panic! Even when she was 3 hours away and all I knew was she was hurt pretty bad, I had NORMAL mom reactions....not benzo reactions. So far they haven't come crashing down on me after the fact.

 

Things really WILL get better.

 

Glad to hear her ankle isn't broken.  Is this the daughter who is supposed to take the trip with you?

[[Gr...]]

....GREEN.. You are strong..and brave. I know the ups and downs are enough to give us whiplash but you are unshakable in your belief that we will heal The fact that you can plan a flight and a bike trip ...just the planning of it is light years ahead of me. ...I too, have looked into ' 3 months from now', '2 days from now', ' in the spring', ' by Christmas '...etc etc. I think that is what discourages me the most...not being able to make dependable plans...not being able to look forward to an event without a plan B...makes me cry...Lotta cryin' going on here this afternoon. ..lol.

 

 

Coop, there's a very good chance I won't go.  I refuse to pay for a trip that I can't enjoy, that's really crazy.  I guess I'll know by April 15, that's when I have to re-schedule if I can't go.  When I first decided to do this, I guess I thought I was well enough to try it in March.  and here it is Feb. 15, and there's no way I'm going anywhere in March. So it may not happen.  I just thought if I could pull it off it would give me confidence.

 

I'm very positive, but realistically I'm not that strong.  I have pull-down stairs from the attic, and I made a couple of trips with boxes, up to the second floor, then up the stairs to the attic, and I really felt it, chest got the fake asthma, from what? exertion or dust?  don't know.  got all revved up, just felt it, no stamina.  I guess we have to build ourselves back up.  I wonder how Jennie is doing with her hiking.

 

Coop,  we are all absolutely going to heal, 100%.  There is no doubt in my mind. 

 

Are you still thinking about volunteering in your grandson's school?

[[Co...]]

Green....lol...funny you should ask me about volunteering in my grandson's classroom. Such a simple thing...I used to do it without thinking twice except to anticipate it with happinesz. Nothing compared to planning a bike trip...Exactly like your story....I have had about 5 ' start' times...6 months, out, 9 months out, surely by 12 months...definitely by Valentines Day. I have gone exactly once right before Halloween. I was gripped with dissociation the entire time. Last week I had to cancel a simple movie due to acute like sx. I cant even find the words to describe how bad I feel on days when sx stop me in my tracks. Whole others are pulling up thier big girl panties and going to work. ..having said all of that. I agree, paying for a trip that may end up being full of stress is not worth it. After volunteering in my grandson's classroom and not enjoying one second of it I decided to trust my intuition and dump the guilt ...I really believe that I will know when it's time to go back. I have window days in which I feel like I could go back on that day just like I used to...without a second thought...I feel it like I know my own name. I can't go on a whim on a good day because it has to be arranged a week in advance with the teacher. ...I have let go of it knowing that it will happen when it happens. I have to trust that . That's not to say that I am not getting out there when I can, but I am doing open ended things that don't stress me out. Shopping. ..meeting friends for coffee, making short outing dates with my grandsons, having lunch with my daughter...basically living like an 85 year old ...but I honestly believe it will get better . I am not happy with this 'go easily' 1 step forward 2 steps backwards approach, but it is hard enough I don't have the grit to add stress to it. .  I get tired too...sometimes for no good reason. This fatigue just washes over me . ..I have basically resigned myself to take each day on its own until month 24. I love Drew's advice of ...put off health fear until month 24, I am applying that to expectations and feeling guilty about not getting out there. As well, like you said...we are still early in year 2. From the beginning I have tried to hurry this healing along...so far that hasn't helped me out at all. I realize that I have the luxury of taking my time to re-enter as I am retired and can take each day on its own without serious disapp ointment to anyone but me and the dog. ....You might be reliably great by April..or not and 'not' is okay. I am finally at a point where I can go through an entire movie in a theater and enjoy most or all of it . That doesn't seem like a lot, but last year I couldn't even consider it. I am trying to think about all the small things I can do now that I couldn't do at all last year. ...and I believe because I borrow faith in this process from all the BBS here that by 35 months I will be doing much more than I am doing now. 

.....thank you Green for being on this thread with us. ...coop

[[Co...]]

*24* ...by 24 months....don't know why Auto Correct would want me to protracted into 35 months...biatch...

[[Sk...]]

Green, I still have the TV going on all night...Same thing here, if I close my eyes without an external conversation going on I get big intrusive thoughts. I have to fall asleep unintentionally. ..Frasier, Friends, Modern Family.  etc etc.  I have seen them all a gazillion times.. I want my life back.

 

The sillier the film, the happier I am, if it is slightly more elaborate, my mind starts wandering. It's been a month, that I have been watching Freinds , no stop but I would not say it is silly !! I love Joey !!

 

Feel really bad today, lots of palps, and I has some strong jolts in my legs. tired of all this. Also an oldie but goldie, the good old lump in my throat !

 

HOpe to see you guys feeling better than I am. HEal on !

[[No...]]

Hi Folks ... thanks for all these posts ... for me it is important to hear what others are doing and experiencing ...

 

I had a good day yesterday ... spent all day watching the storm ... nice distraction from 12 floors up ...

 

This morning ... the benzo storm is back ... all the usual stuff .. this is truly weird ... the sun comes out and I rev up ... it is blowing cats and dogs outside and I am fine ... go figure ..

 

And yes, I too have a long road to get back in some kind of physical shape ...

 

On we go ... its Monday ... this is getting better ... two steps forward ... one step back sometimes ...

 

[[He...]]

Physical shape, definitely an area I need to work on. One of the reasons I'm starting walking again is to get into better shape for my trip. It sounds like a pretty physically demanding week with all the walking tours and being on the go the whole time.

 

My muscles feel almost frail. They work, though I'm definitely less strong than I was before withdrawal, but they get so sore after almost any physical exertion. My legs are quite sore this morning from my walk yesterday. It feels more like I did a strenuous hike than a flat loop.

 

One more area to work on for healing, I suppose.

[[No...]]

HH ... just like "Benzo Christmas" ... always one more present to open ... hope you are having a good day ... I am back in symptom land ... no revving for now ... just the dull blahs ...

 

[[Sk...]]

Michael the dull blahs sound great from where I am today ! 

 

Benzo Christmas indeed !

 

HH, pace yourself with your walking. SLow  does it. Maybe build up  ?  It's scary how out of shape we are though.

[[No...]]

Hi Sky ... sorry you are having more than the dull stuff ... it is what it is, day after day, until it isn't ... think I have said that before ... about a thousand times ... still sounds like gibberish ... 

[[He...]]

Good morning Sky and Nova,

 

Benzo Christmas, indeed. I'm pretty sure I must have gotten hit by a large truck and repeatedly run over on my walk yesterday for how sore I am this morning.   

 

I'll have to be easing back in to regular exercise a bit slower, I guess.

 

I'm sorry to hear you both are feeling it this morning. One day we will be through this mess.

 

[[dr...]]

Good morning Sky and Nova,

 

Benzo Christmas, indeed. I'm pretty sure I must have gotten hit by a large truck and repeatedly run over on my walk yesterday for how sore I am this morning.   

 

I'll have to be easing back in to regular exercise a bit slower, I guess.

 

I'm sorry to hear you both are feeling it this morning. One day we will be through this mess.

 

 

Yes HH...this exercise thing stinks.  I have to slow my reentry down on it.  I haven't exercised since last week because I was so sore.  I try and do some gentle stuff but I do like to push on exercise but I pay every time.  I also stood on stage for about three hours the other night and my feet and calves were so sore the next day it was insane.  If I didn't know this was a symptom I'd be way more worried.