12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Sky..how are you doing?..so sorry your palps and racing heart are back for a do over. Did you have a chance to get outside?.. I am still holding a pretty good baseline today..a decent window today and still relief from head pressure and zaps.. holding my breath...are you still in an every other day pattern of windows and sx...hope tomorrow is the up side that keeps going stong for a long window....coop

[[Co...]]

Green, that is the perfect description.  The same sx with a rise and fall of severity and gradual intermittent lessening .

.....You are sounding pretty 'warrior'...refusing to be intimidated by a towering wave.  You are getting there Green.  .......Glad to hear the therapist is working out...ask her what I should be doing ..lol.....coop

[[dr...]]

Hi all....my ear hissing is my early warning system that brain is doing stuff and here I go again

 

I cooked a nice dinner and was relaxing when my DR got really heavy.  I noticed the last two days I couldn't really "connect" with others.  Now I'm stating here trying to calm myself down from one of the weirdest DR brain stuff I've had in a long while.  I forgot how bad the fear and everything can be.  Sweating, naseous, what iffing about tomorrow(dumb), body pain, just plain awfulness.  Ugh!  Hope it's just a brief visit from the benzo beast. It is very rare I feel nonfunctional but that's how I feel right now.  Scary!  I will look to pass the next thirty minutes and I'm sure I'll feel better...or at least different.

[[mr...]]

Heyo gang.

 

Just posting an update

 

Friday will mark 3 months benzo free. I am also six months from one of my toughest months, August 2014.

 

August was a very dark month, and then all of a sudden in the beginning of September, I had a "window open that never really closed". From September all the way through my jump date in November, things steadily improved (albeit slowly, and albeit with the normal "ebbs" and "flows"). November was a lighter month in symptoms, and I was able to go and do more things than I had in a long time.

 

December was characterized by a "downer/bummer/fearful" feeling, that ebbed & flowed. This "wandow" of sorts lasted through the beginning of January, and lifted into a nice lighter three-week (or so) window. During this time, I experienced my first "100%" windows, that came and lasted for an afternoon here & there. It was great!

 

Towards the end of January, I "ebbed" again and found myself in a bit if a "wandow" again, this time characterized by some anxiety & fear & OCD/agoraphobic temptations. Amd here is where I am today, with no worries at all that this will pass also

 

I am learning so much about myself, about this process, and about each of you as we progress and heal over these months. You all give me so much to look forward to, and likewise you all have helped me to know what to "expect" of sorts as time passes along. I find this all so valuable! And I appreciate it so much, appreciate YOU so much

 

So, that is where I'm at gang. Just wanted to keep y'all in the loop! I'm off to a dish of ice cream (no worries - its "no sugar added" ) and snuggling with Mr on the couch Have a great night, y'all

 

Mrs.

[[mr...]]

Hi all....my ear hissing is my early warning system that brain is doing stuff and here I go again

 

I cooked a nice dinner and was relaxing when my DR got really heavy.  I noticed the last two days I couldn't really "connect" with others.  Now I'm stating here trying to calm myself down from one of the weirdest DR brain stuff I've had in a long while.  I forgot how bad the fear and everything can be.  Sweating, naseous, what iffing about tomorrow(dumb), body pain, just plain awfulness.  Ugh!  Hope it's just a brief visit from the benzo beast. It is very rare I feel nonfunctional but that's how I feel right now.  Scary!  I will look to pass the next thirty minutes and I'm sure I'll feel better...or at least different.

 

Hang tight, drew28. Amazing (and reassuring!!) how quickly we can forget how it feels! I haven't had anxiety for a couple months really, so when I experienced it again this month, I was almost like WHAT IS THIS?!? Lol. As if I'd never felt it before or something - whatever! Silly benzo brain.

 

I bet you're feeling better by now, buddy

 

Mrs.

[[dr...]]

I am   that was crazy.  When an old friend comes to visit the fear comes back until I get used to it.  Hope it was a one off.  The thirty minute thought blocks are my savior.

[[mr...]]

I am   that was crazy.  When an old friend comes to visit the fear comes back until I get used to it.  Hope it was a one off.  The thirty minute thought blocks are my savior.

 

Ha. Yup. You know, because apparently we need a reminder of what that crap feels like. As if.

 

Glad you're feeling better, bud. Yee-hah!

 

Mrs.

[[Co...]]

Sass, ....wow...really happy to hear that work is going along so well. You sound really good...I really am ire those of us who are working. Glad to see you here on the thread tonight. Keep us posted , it is so encouraging for all of us to read and follow the improvements of each other...congrats Sass....coop

[[Co...]]

Drew, so sorry you got slammed like that...I hadn't had a full on panic for months and about 10 days ago one came out of nowhere like yours...I was stunned to think it would come back this late...It is odd how we can get warnings of an eminent wave. My ears suddenly send me a high pitched tone ..or I  lose all sense of hunger ...I know a wave is on its way. ...Glad to here it passed and you were able to grab onto some calmness.. here's to a better tomorrow.  coop

[[Co...]]

Nova,...hope your day mellowed out and you are getting some sleep...here comes tomorrow...that much closer....cooper

[[Gr...]]

My heart is beating so fast, I might take a walk later in the cold, it always calms my heart and brain down.

 

WIll see. Take care, I will go watch some television now.

 

Sky, I've been having the heart issues on and off recently.  for me it's not so much fast as it seems very loud and very heavy in my chest, with cortisol surges at the same time, if that makes any sense.  and the internal vibes were back last night.  hope not to run into them tonight.

 

Yes, thank you, the therapy is helpful.  I needed the emotional support, I'm kind of on my own, so this is a good thing for me.  Hopefully the palps will quiet down soon.

[[Gr...]]

Green, that is the perfect description.  The same sx with a rise and fall of severity and gradual intermittent lessening .

.....You are sounding pretty 'warrior'...refusing to be intimidated by a towering wave.  You are getting there Green.  .......Glad to hear the therapist is working out...ask her what I should be doing ..lol.....coop

 

So funny, it was you getting the life counselor that prompted me to get a therapist.  She's only a LCSW.  She was referred by a friend.  I saw a psychologist about 14 years ago.  For now, for what I want, the CSW is fine.  The support is amazing, Coop.  Like you, I'm on my own here (the boys don't count, lol, I can't possibly emotionally lean on young men their age, esp. for something like this, it's just not fair)  I think it really helps with healing and reentry.  And if you remember, Life had a lot of professional support, and I suspect it helped him, too.  As I said, I was too symptomatic before, I don't think it would have been helpful until now.  Have you thought of going?

[[Gr...]]

Sass, ....wow...really happy to hear that work is going along so well. You sound really good...I really am ire those of us who are working. Glad to see you here on the thread tonight. Keep us posted , it is so encouraging for all of us to read and follow the improvements of each other...congrats Sass....coop

 

Yes, Sass, you do sound really good.  Glad to hear work is going well.  Hope all is well a home with your family, your wife.

[[No...]]

Drew ... your 30 time blocks ... good stuff ... for me, I know this stuff is time limited ... I am a clock watcher too ... helps keep the anchor secure ...

 

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... shut down at 6:30 PM last night ... slept for almost 8 hours ... suppose I needed that ... pretty quiet here on the symptom front at 3:00 AM ... guess I will wait and see who shows up for breakfast ...

 

[[No...]]

Green ... good to hear you are getting the outside support you are finding helpful ... I am very fortunate to have some here who will listen, quietly, and oftentimes reminds me that I am not seeing too clearly in the moment ...

 

Mrs Nova also gives me the confirmation that things are moving along for me ... even when I don't see it ...

 

[[Sk...]]

Sky..how are you doing?..so sorry your palps and racing heart are back for a do over. Did you have a chance to get outside?.. I am still holding a pretty good baseline today..a decent window today and still relief from head pressure and zaps.. holding my breath...are you still in an every other day pattern of windows and sx...hope tomorrow is the up side that keeps going stong for a long window....coop

 

Coop, it was awful. I could not get out, the weather was bad, it was palps with very strong vibrations. I was pacing, I am so tired of doing that. Now, it's better, thankfully. I sort of hoped this sort of stuff was gone for good, what wishful thinking.

 

The pattern is an every other day, except for the last 3-4 days, which were non stop. Don't know what to say about that, it's nuts. ANd I keep biting my tongue in the same place over and over, I catch myself doing it, it's been days now. I'm  tired of being nuts.

 

But today, is a lovely day, still some snow but sunny. I have a few complex lessons, but it's a lighter day so I do hope to get out.

 

I always try to manage a pre lunch walk, it soothes me so much. Have a btter day everyone.

[[Sk...]]

Heyo gang.

 

Just posting an update

 

Friday will mark 3 months benzo free. I am also six months from one of my toughest months, August 2014.

 

August was a very dark month, and then all of a sudden in the beginning of September, I had a "window open that never really closed". From September all the way through my jump date in November, things steadily improved (albeit slowly, and albeit with the normal "ebbs" and "flows"). November was a lighter month in symptoms, and I was able to go and do more things than I had in a long time.

 

December was characterized by a "downer/bummer/fearful" feeling, that ebbed & flowed. This "wandow" of sorts lasted through the beginning of January, and lifted into a nice lighter three-week (or so) window. During this time, I experienced my first "100%" windows, that came and lasted for an afternoon here & there. It was great!

 

Towards the end of January, I "ebbed" again and found myself in a bit if a "wandow" again, this time characterized by some anxiety & fear & OCD/agoraphobic temptations. Amd here is where I am today, with no worries at all that this will pass also

 

I am learning so much about myself, about this process, and about each of you as we progress and heal over these months. You all give me so much to look forward to, and likewise you all have helped me to know what to "expect" of sorts as time passes along. I find this all so valuable! And I appreciate it so much, appreciate YOU so much

 

So, that is where I'm at gang. Just wanted to keep y'all in the loop! I'm off to a dish of ice cream (no worries - its "no sugar added" ) and snuggling with Mr on the couch Have a great night, y'all

 

Mrs.

 

Mrs, so glad to hear you are getting a little normality in your life. HOpe your ice cream was yummy.

[[No...]]

Hi Sky ... I hope you get outside today ... always good for me when I can ... today it is cold and too windy to be out ... tomorrow will be better ... winter in the Maritimes ...

 

Hope you have a good day ... 

[[Sk...]]

Michael, how you are today ?

[[No...]]

Sky ... well ... had a good sleep ... after being up two hours I have the "stranglies" going on ... my old friends neck and ear and throat pressure ... nothing unusual for me ... just BORING ...

 

And it is freakin' cold here again ... warmer tomorrow they say ... hope you get out for a walk ... I will "imagine" mine today ...

[[sa...]]

Fear and anxiety in full force today. Lots of Nausea today as well. My hardest day yet while at work. This is day 3 of this. Hopefully it will break soon. I tend to have 4-6 days like this each month now. So discouraging though. I can feel all of the nerves in my body vibrating. So strange.

 

I'm struggle to stay focused. I feel so dumb with w/d. I feel like learning is so hard and nothing makes sense. Anyone else feel stupid from withdrawal?  I want a new brain!!

[[pe...]]

Hi All,

Dentist today. Which meds do I have to stay away from incase a cavity is found and needs filling?

 

I never remember…well anything….but especially this stuff.

 

Thanks,

peace2

[[dr...]]

Hi All,

Dentist today. Which meds do I have to stay away from incase a cavity is found and needs filling?

 

I never remember…well anything….but especially this stuff.

 

Thanks,

peace2

 

stop what iffing  You don't even have a cavity yet.      Unless they want to give you an antibiotic nothing should interfere with you except ofcourse a benzo.

 

 

[[pe...]]

Drew,

I am a cavity sleuth. I've got the tell tale irritation. I've only had 3 teeny tiny cavities in my life and each time I've had to have the dentist look twice to find the little spot. Thinking I can do the filling with no meds… Coop doesn't call me a mighty girl for nothing! But I did find some posts about avoiding epinephrine. SO, I'll do that and maybe that tidbit will be helpful for someone else down the road……

 

Peace2