6-12 month thread....

[[Sa...]]

Hi everyone,

 

The daily routine of wondering which way my day will go is here, once again.

Today i say to myself.  I will do what i can and what i can't i won't do.

It will get better, for sure.

 

Ddd, MTfan, Red I hope all are having a better day

[[...]]

[qu ote author=Saraa link=topic=107505.msg1967304#msg1967304 date=1449079289]

Hi everyone,

 

The daily routine of wondering which way my day will go is here, once again.

Today i say to myself.  I will do what i can and what i can't i won't do.

It will get better, for sure.

 

Ddd, MTfan, Red I hope all are having a better day

 

Saraa_- struggling today did a lot yesterday set up a  Pitney Bowes machine talk to to teCh people got everything set up even though my brain FogI was pretty bad yesterday.  pain in my back struggling today heavy headed fatigue didn't sleep well hoping tomorrow is a better day who was the better day for you too

[[re...]]

Runaway anxious obsessive "what if" thinking today,while doing some monthly paperwork.Had to stop what I was doing,finally it lifted on it's own.

 

I can't plan either, small tasks are forced,or compulsive.

 

Other wise I'm OK

 

red

 

 

[[MT...]]

It was a wide awake night all night but I managed to stay calm. Today I've taken it one thing at a time and managed to get what I needed to done and walked/hiked for 80 minutes. Whenever I skip an exercise session my mood tanks so I really try to make it at least 3 times a week. Some days it's hard to believe that my sleep, and my cognitive abilities, will ever improve. I just have to trust those who've gone before and say they will get better. That we will get better.

 

I sure share that feeling about not being able to plan and having to force any and every thing. And we can all agree anxiety SUCKS! At least it isn't the constant sheer terror I felt the first few months. Have you guys noticed that shift as well?

[[Sa...]]

 

 

Saraa_- struggling today did a lot yesterday set up a  Pitney Bowes machine talk to to teCh people got everything set up even though my brain FogI was pretty bad yesterday.  pain in my back struggling today heavy headed fatigue didn't sleep well hoping tomorrow is a better day who was the better day for you too

 

Ddd- Doing and getting a job done inspite of the cog fog like setting up of the PB machine is a huge reward at any point in time let alone now. I am glad you were able to do it. 

All a good sign.

       

 

[[Sa...]]

Runaway anxious obsessive "what if" thinking today,while doing some monthly paperwork.Had to stop what I was doing,finally it lifted on it's own.

 

I can't plan either, small tasks are forced,or compulsive.

 

Other wise I'm OK

 

red

red,

 

Ok so more than ok with me, send me some my way please.

[[Sa...]]

It was a wide awake night all night but I managed to stay calm. Today I've taken it one thing at a time and managed to get what I needed to done and walked/hiked for 80 minutes. Whenever I skip an exercise session my mood tanks so I really try to make it at least 3 times a week. Some days it's hard to believe that my sleep, and my cognitive abilities, will ever improve. I just have to trust those who've gone before and say they will get better. That we will get better.

 

I sure share that feeling about not being able to plan and having to force any and every thing. And we can all agree anxiety SUCKS! At least it isn't the constant sheer terror I felt the first few months. Have you guys noticed that shift as well?

 

MtFan,

 

So envious of you being able to walk 80 minutes and sometime more than once, but seriously i am so happy for you and believe its the best thing when possible.

Yes the horror of the acute anxiety of what has just hit me, there must be something hugely wrong.

Lets carry on with our daily baby steps and hope for the best, trust in those who have gone before us

[[MT...]]

Baby steps all the way. When I think about how long this is probably going to take with my inability to sleep, I start to freak out. So I remind myself I only have to get through this day. Not the next 365 plus. One freaking day at a time. We'll get there with What about Bob.

[[Sa...]]

MTfan,

 

You said it!!! Freaking out is exactly what i fear.  fear of fear and it seems to know what i mean.

Now that we know where we or at least i am having trouble,  i have to figure out a way out of it or riding it out.

Right now its riding me out.  Oddly enough in the first 8 months meditation and breathing worked like magic, it really did, but the problem is now it seems to make it worse

 

BUT 'ONE MORE THING'  I WILL FIND SOMETHING NEW THAT WILL WORK FOR THIS STAGE OF THE FREAKING OUT.  ITS JUST TRIAL AND ERROR RIGHT NOW.  ITS AN UNWELCOMED GUEST THAT HAS TO AND WILL BE THROWN OUT. 

 

 

[[re...]]

It was a wide awake night all night but I managed to stay calm. Today I've taken it one thing at a time and managed to get what I needed to done and walked/hiked for 80 minutes. Whenever I skip an exercise session my mood tanks so I really try to make it at least 3 times a week. Some days it's hard to believe that my sleep, and my cognitive abilities, will ever improve. I just have to trust those who've gone before and say they will get better. That we will get better.

 

I sure share that feeling about not being able to plan and having to force any and every thing. And we can all agree anxiety SUCKS! At least it isn't the constant sheer terror I felt the first few months. Have you guys noticed that shift as well?

The terror has subsided in dreams,upon waking,and during day.

I still go into bouts of dreadful thoughts,in dreams,upon waking,and during day to a lesser degree.

Have you had any moments of clarity yet?,where it all goes away?

[[so...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

Yesterday was a horror show from acute with racing heartbeat, heart palps, fever chills coursing through me for 16 hours straight, full body vibrations and terror, clutching my pillow all day in bed.

 

Today back to normal sh*tty.  What just happened?  What a roller coaster ride with a blindfold on!

 

And the anxiety needs to take a hike!  PLEASE!

 

Love you guys, Sofa

[[MT...]]

Yesterday sounds like the pits, Sofa. I'm glad today is marginally better. I vote that we all send our anxiety off planet.

 

MT

[[Fl...]]

I second that motion, MTFan

[[St...]]

Sofa I could have written your post word for word but I didn't because I was too busy experiencing the hell you describe!

 

We're like twins in this process I swear

 

Hi Buddies,

 

Yesterday was a horror show from acute with racing heartbeat, heart palps, fever chills coursing through me for 16 hours straight, full body vibrations and terror, clutching my pillow all day in bed.

 

Today back to normal sh*tty.  What just happened?  What a roller coaster ride with a blindfold on!

 

And the anxiety needs to take a hike!  PLEASE!

 

Love you guys, Sofa

[[so...]]

Stuck,

 

I've always felt that way about us.  We have to hold onto each other and the hope that this will be over someday.

 

Love, Sofa

[[Sa...]]

Agreed!

[[Sa...]]

Good Morning All 6-12 group

 

Here is the day again as we start our battles!!! Baby steps is fine or big strides.  Its all a little unpredictable being in the back seat for some thing else to dictate how the day will go.

It is what it is. 

Let's give our brains little tasks to add to its vault of memories to build on.

 

Sofa, you are going to have symptoms drop off from what i gather from reading others time lines. 

 

To everyone else, I hope your day is a better one

 

I will try to work on my acceptance and incorporate something new in my day. ( But isn't that an oxymoron?) I'll try it anyways

[[so...]]

Saraa,

 

You are always so encouraging and reassuring.  I appreciate yo in so many ways.  I really needed to hear you tell me that I will see improvements after this awful wave.

 

Love you, Sofa

[[so...]]

Does anyone else have this just drugged feeling all the time?

[[re...]]

Does anyone else have this just drugged feeling all the time?

I had what i called euphoria twice for a couple hrs, which felt like being drugged enough to be semi unconscious,almost passed out.

 

Going into a wave right now,tinnitus,check,burning right eye,check,metallic taste ,check, prickly numb left foot, check

[[so...]]

Red,

 

Hang on, Buddy.

[[Sa...]]

Sofa,

 

We are all here for each other.  This wave will pass as we know.

 

It'll let up

 

Saraa

[[Sa...]]

Red,

 

I am there with you

A horrid wave out of acute

Its all so psychological,  tingling feet and calf also in the house

Knot in belly and throat

Pacing

You name it

Just don't know how to calm down

But I will and so will you,

Breathing, warm tea,  and to heck with it and all

Saraa

[[...]]

And b attling a Wave for the last week now.  nerve pain in both buttocks and going down my legs tight muscles in the lower part of my back in between shoulder blades extreme fatigue and weakness one week away from 10 months hoping this ends up turning a huge corner any day now

[[Pu...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

Yesterday was a horror show from acute with racing heartbeat, heart palps, fever chills coursing through me for 16 hours straight, full body vibrations and terror, clutching my pillow all day in bed.

 

Today back to normal sh*tty.  What just happened?  What a roller coaster ride with a blindfold on!

 

And the anxiety needs to take a hike!  PLEASE!

 

Love you guys, Sofa

 

You've nailed it! "Normal shitty"! I just said that I want to feel that way again. I laid in bed all day today with terrible depression. I want the normal shitty back!