6-12 month thread....

[[re...]]

WELL DONE

 

I'm at 11 and a half months and still really struggling, still not had my first window yet, still can't even watch TV! Nervous system just can't handle the stimulation.

 

I honestly think getting to a year will be the hardest thing i've ever had to do, have come so close to reinstating so many times

 

I had a mild day yesterday.  Today I'm back in the WD soup.  It's my one year off anniversary today.  Wish this was over, but it's not.  Please pray with me buddies.  I need your help and prayers.

Stuckindoors,

Riding out a permanent wave must be unbearable.

I know the exact feeling that occurs when some one would consider reinstating or drinking alcohol or ending it.

During the lull immediately before the "Wave"is  when the combination of all the symptoms hit there hardest and are most unbearable.

The frustration sets off the rage against this "saying" do something about it.

Then the wave commences to take over completely.

That's when it's time to shutdown, and let go,there's no fighting this.

 

I hope you get a break from  this long cycle soon.

 

red

[[St...]]

Thanks it's 4am sat on the sofa downstairs with the dog rushing with "toxic energy" no chance of falling asleep.

 

Seems we jumped around the same time too from a combo of drugs.

 

I don't even have my heart set on a full recovery this moment in time, I just want to be some kind of functional

 

Stuck,

 

You and I have identical withdrawal maladies.  I know it's not much help that I share your agony and overstimulation, but at least you have a buddy on hyperdrive with no windows who understands.

 

Love, Sofa

[[St...]]

You describe it perfectly :'(

 

 

WELL DONE

 

I'm at 11 and a half months and still really struggling, still not had my first window yet, still can't even watch TV! Nervous system just can't handle the stimulation.

 

I honestly think getting to a year will be the hardest thing i've ever had to do, have come so close to reinstating so many times

 

I had a mild day yesterday.  Today I'm back in the WD soup.  It's my one year off anniversary today.  Wish this was over, but it's not.  Please pray with me buddies.  I need your help and prayers.

Stuckindoors,

Riding out a permanent wave must be unbearable.

I know the exact feeling that occurs when some one would consider reinstating or drinking alcohol or ending it.

During the lull immediately before the "Wave"is  when the combination of all the symptoms hit there hardest and are most unbearable.

The frustration sets off the rage against this "saying" do something about it.

Then the wave commences to take over completely.

That's when it's time to shutdown, and let go,there's no fighting this.

 

I hope you get a break from  this long cycle soon.

 

red

[[so...]]

Stuck,

 

I guess you and I are stoking the home fires tonight.  Another sleepless night for me.  I just don't care anymore.

 

I read about people healing and I feel sad I'm not.  If I do fall asleep, I will just wake up to the same sh*t show.

 

Okay, pity party over.  I'll microwave popcorn.  Do you like melted butter on yours?

 

Sofa

[[St...]]

Yes please

[[Sa...]]

Intense fear.  Is it normal?  Fear that is waking me up with nausea.  The fear of future and not being able to cope. 

Thoughts of betrayals and not having anyone to turn to.  Not having a place to stay.  Fear!!! 

I feel like i am loosing my mind. 

 

[[re...]]

  I've experienced every negative Emotion there is.While dreaming, awake,asleep and in between .

Benzo's had covered these up,now they have rebounded,like rebound insomnia,or rebound anxiety.

For every positive good emotion there is a negative to extremes of the vast emotional spectrum.

(to much to list)

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotion

 

  These negative emotions and states of mind are slowly fading with time, with good emotion returning slowly. They're gone during a window,But still right below the surface,waiting to be triggered, during sleep and upon waking and a couple hrs once awake,then return going into a wave,but no where as severe as in the acute stage.

 

red

[[so...]]

Saraa,

 

You'll be okay.  Anxiety, fear and panic.  That's me in a nutshell.  This withdrawal throws every fear and negative thought and emotion to the forefront because negativity is easier to access than positivity.  That's why the news is so negative.  It's easier to grab an audience to negativity than to good and happy things.  Our brains just work that way, even without withdrawal, which magnifies everything. 

 

You'll be okay, Saraa.  You've been doing really well and you'll get back to that place of peace in no time.

 

Sofa

[[Sa...]]

Sofa,,

 

Thanks and yes you are so right.  Negativity seems to be stronger especially right now

Thanks for your words of encouragment

Wish you a good day of a huge window that never closes

Saraa

[[mr...]]

Hey gang,

 

I've posted this in the Benzo-free Celebrations section, but thought I'd post it here as well

 

Keep on keepin', gang!  You can DO this!

 

Mrs.

 

Benzo-freedom update:

Taper began: Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

Last dose: Wednesday, November 12th, 2014, 09:15am

Total taper length: 715 days (23 months and 28 days)

Taper of choice: water titration

Benzodiazepine of choice: alprazolam (Xanax)

Starting dose: 0.25mg per day

Ending dose: 0.001mg (1/250th of 0.25mg)

Starting dose "valium equivalence": 5mg diazepam (Valium)

 

Comprehensive list of symptoms experienced along the way (as best I can remember): Panic attacks, feeling on the “verge” of panic, “hairline” triggers to panic & fear, intrusive thoughts, generalized anxiety, fear, irrational fears, health fears, travel fears, I did not like my husband traveling, I did not like being alone, I did not like storms,  sensitivity to “scary” things (i.e. news reports, drama/horror/action movies/TV shows, “bad” news about others’ health, etc), temptation towards agoraphobia, hopelessness, depression, fatigue, tachycardia, heavy nausea, watery diarrhea, loose stools, loss of appetite, weight loss, weight gain, “hypoglycemic” type feelings (I was not actually hypoglycemic), dizziness, "cog-fog", mild and rare D/P, mild and rare D/R, “boaty” feeling, “cog-fog”, sensitivity to computer screens, sensitivity to heat, sensitivity to being in the sun, sensitivity to exercise, minor temporary hair loss, felt "feverish" & achey (i.e. "benzo flu"), nail ridges, my digits (fingers/toes) would easily get cold, tremors, shakiness, vibrations sensation, sleep disturbances, early wakings, some difficulty falling asleep, sweating, sweating that was smelly, missed a couple menstruation cycles, intensified PMS cycle, my menstruation cycle changed and got longer (from 29-32 days long, to 39-44 days long)

"Least favorite" symptom(s): FEAR, irrational fears, temptation to become agoraphobic, panic/panic attacks, temptations to become OCD, tachycardia, anxiety

Longest wave, to-date: 6 weeks (from mid-May through end of June 2014)

"most challenging" wave, to-date: 4 weeks, the month of August 2014

Work status: Currently working on a reduced 20-hour per week schedule (via FMLA and Short Term Disability benefits).  I maintained working full-time (40 hours per week) for my entire taper, through June 20, 2014.  Due to symptoms increasing in the low doses and my desire to "rest", I then moved to a temporary part-time status on June 23, 2014.  I will move to a 25-hour per week status starting next Monday, November 17th and I will resume my full-time status on Monday, December 15th (thank you Lord!).

Percentage healed, at my "most challenged" timeframe of withdrawal: 30-40% functional.

Current percentage of functionality: 85-90% functional.  Still windows/waves, with an increasingly better baseline as the months pass along.

What I'm "left" with, to-date: I still find myself "sensitive" or "fearful" or "anxious" about random things (or about nothing at all) -- but it is improving ALL the time.  Seeing as "fear" was my "most challenging"/"least favorite" symptom, I can see how it may take more time for it to disappear entirely -- and that's okay!  I'm becoming a strong gal in the mean time   I am still sensitive to exercise, to too much heat, and the feeling of my heartrate increased.

 

One Year Update:

 

Comprehensive list of symptoms experienced along the way (as best I can remember): Panic attacks (very, very rare and only situational), feeling on the “verge” of panic, “hairline” triggers to panic & fear, intrusive thoughts, generalized anxiety, fear (mild most days; mainly only around menstruation), irrational fears (mild most days; mainly only around menstruation), health fears (mild most days; mainly only around menstruation), travel fears, I did not like my husband traveling, I did not like being alone, I did not like storms (getting better, & only seems "bothersome" near that time of the month -- I had zero fear of storms prior to benzos),  sensitivity to “scary” things (i.e. news reports, drama/horror/action movies/TV shows, “bad” news about others’ health, etc) (<--milder all the time!), temptation towards agoraphobia, hopelessness (very mild and intermittent), depression (mild and intermittent; usually only around that time of month), fatigue, tachycardia (<--milder all the time!), heavy nausea, watery diarrhea, loose stools, loss of appetite, weight loss, weight gain, “hypoglycemic” type feelings (I was not actually hypoglycemic), dizziness (very rare/intermittent), "cog-fog" (<--milder all the time!), mild and rare D/P (<--milder all the time!), mild and rare D/R, “boaty” feeling, sensitivity to computer screens, sensitivity to heat (very mild), sensitivity to being in the sun, sensitivity to exercise (mild), minor temporary hair loss, felt "feverish" & achey (i.e. "benzo flu"), nail ridges, my digits (fingers/toes) would easily get cold, tremors, shakiness, vibrations sensation (mild), sleep disturbances (mild / intermittent), early wakings (very mild / intermittent), some difficulty falling asleep (rarely), sweating (rarely), sweating that was smelly, missed a couple menstruation cycles, intensified PMS cycle (mild, compared to how it used to be), my menstruation cycle changed and got longer (from 29-32 days long, to 39-44 days long) (<--my menstruation cycle is 100% back to its normal timeframes and routines!) :)

 

"Least favorite" symptom(s): fear (very mild), irrational fears (mild), temptation to become agoraphobic, panic (rare)/panic attacks, temptations to become OCD, tachycardia (mild), anxiety (very mild)

Longest wave, to-date: 6 weeks (from mid-May through end of June 2014)

"most challenging" wave, to-date: 4 weeks, the month of August 2014

Work status: I work full-time as an administrative assistant during the week, and I waitress part-time on the weekends -- and I LOVE it!  I maintained working full-time (40 hours per week) for my entire taper, through June 20, 2014.  Due to symptoms increasing in the low doses and my desire to "rest", I then moved to a temporary part-time FMLA status on June 23, 2014.  I then moved to a 25-hour per week status on Monday, November 17th and then resumed my full-time status on Monday, December 15th (thank you Lord!).  I have been working full-time ever since.

Percentage healed, at my "most challenged" timeframe of withdrawal: 30-40% functional.

Current percentage of functionality: 95% functional.  Instead of "windows" and "waves", I find myself at more of a "baseline" that will dip a bit, or raise a bit.  Usually, if I experience a "wave", I also experience a raise in "baseline" after it is done.  Progress is very hard to quantify anymore, as it is so gradual.  But, there is no denial in comparing 3-6 months ago to today -- I have an ever-increasingly better baseline as the months pass along.

What I'm "left" with, to-date: I find myself a little sensitive yet to a few things that I "feared" while in withdrawal (I did not have any "unusual" or "irrational" fears prior to benzos).  They are things that I can deal with, but take some mental energy to do so.  Low-level anxiety and depression can nip my heels at times, but there is nothing that takes me out of "life" anymore, and I am grateful for that!  I am still a bit sensitive to exercise, and the feeling of my heartrate increased, but it gets better all the time.  My emotions and "drive" are still a bit "mute" or "negative" at times, but I know that will change this year.  Most importantly, I LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE, CRY, FIGHT, ETC!  Life is GOOD, gang REAL good!

 

Keep on fighting YOUR fight, and walking YOUR walk ~ you WILL get there, too!  Love to you all.

 

Mrs.

[[...]]

Hey gang,

 

I've posted this in the Benzo-free Celebrations section, but thought I'd post it here as well

 

Keep on keepin', gang!  You can DO this!

 

Mrs.

 

Benzo-freedom update:

Taper began: Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

Last dose: Wednesday, November 12th, 2014, 09:15am

Total taper length: 715 days (23 months and 28 days)

Taper of choice: water titration

Benzodiazepine of choice: alprazolam (Xanax)

Starting dose: 0.25mg per day

Ending dose: 0.001mg (1/250th of 0.25mg)

Starting dose "valium equivalence": 5mg diazepam (Valium)

 

Comprehensive list of symptoms experienced along the way (as best I can remember): Panic attacks, feeling on the “verge” of panic, “hairline” triggers to panic & fear, intrusive thoughts, generalized anxiety, fear, irrational fears, health fears, travel fears, I did not like my husband traveling, I did not like being alone, I did not like storms,  sensitivity to “scary” things (i.e. news reports, drama/horror/action movies/TV shows, “bad” news about others’ health, etc), temptation towards agoraphobia, hopelessness, depression, fatigue, tachycardia, heavy nausea, watery diarrhea, loose stools, loss of appetite, weight loss, weight gain, “hypoglycemic” type feelings (I was not actually hypoglycemic), dizziness, "cog-fog", mild and rare D/P, mild and rare D/R, “boaty” feeling, “cog-fog”, sensitivity to computer screens, sensitivity to heat, sensitivity to being in the sun, sensitivity to exercise, minor temporary hair loss, felt "feverish" & achey (i.e. "benzo flu"), nail ridges, my digits (fingers/toes) would easily get cold, tremors, shakiness, vibrations sensation, sleep disturbances, early wakings, some difficulty falling asleep, sweating, sweating that was smelly, missed a couple menstruation cycles, intensified PMS cycle, my menstruation cycle changed and got longer (from 29-32 days long, to 39-44 days long)

"Least favorite" symptom(s): FEAR, irrational fears, temptation to become agoraphobic, panic/panic attacks, temptations to become OCD, tachycardia, anxiety

Longest wave, to-date: 6 weeks (from mid-May through end of June 2014)

"most challenging" wave, to-date: 4 weeks, the month of August 2014

Work status: Currently working on a reduced 20-hour per week schedule (via FMLA and Short Term Disability benefits).  I maintained working full-time (40 hours per week) for my entire taper, through June 20, 2014.  Due to symptoms increasing in the low doses and my desire to "rest", I then moved to a temporary part-time status on June 23, 2014.  I will move to a 25-hour per week status starting next Monday, November 17th and I will resume my full-time status on Monday, December 15th (thank you Lord!).

Percentage healed, at my "most challenged" timeframe of withdrawal: 30-40% functional.

Current percentage of functionality: 85-90% functional.  Still windows/waves, with an increasingly better baseline as the months pass along.

What I'm "left" with, to-date: I still find myself "sensitive" or "fearful" or "anxious" about random things (or about nothing at all) -- but it is improving ALL the time.  Seeing as "fear" was my "most challenging"/"least favorite" symptom, I can see how it may take more time for it to disappear entirely -- and that's okay!  I'm becoming a strong gal in the mean time   I am still sensitive to exercise, to too much heat, and the feeling of my heartrate increased.

 

One Year Update:

 

Comprehensive list of symptoms experienced along the way (as best I can remember): Panic attacks (very, very rare and only situational), feeling on the “verge” of panic, “hairline” triggers to panic & fear, intrusive thoughts, generalized anxiety, fear (mild most days; mainly only around menstruation), irrational fears (mild most days; mainly only around menstruation), health fears (mild most days; mainly only around menstruation), travel fears, I did not like my husband traveling, I did not like being alone, I did not like storms (getting better, & only seems "bothersome" near that time of the month -- I had zero fear of storms prior to benzos),  sensitivity to “scary” things (i.e. news reports, drama/horror/action movies/TV shows, “bad” news about others’ health, etc) (<--milder all the time!), temptation towards agoraphobia, hopelessness (very mild and intermittent), depression (mild and intermittent; usually only around that time of month), fatigue, tachycardia (<--milder all the time!), heavy nausea, watery diarrhea, loose stools, loss of appetite, weight loss, weight gain, “hypoglycemic” type feelings (I was not actually hypoglycemic), dizziness (very rare/intermittent), "cog-fog" (<--milder all the time!), mild and rare D/P (<--milder all the time!), mild and rare D/R, “boaty” feeling, sensitivity to computer screens, sensitivity to heat (very mild), sensitivity to being in the sun, sensitivity to exercise (mild), minor temporary hair loss, felt "feverish" & achey (i.e. "benzo flu"), nail ridges, my digits (fingers/toes) would easily get cold, tremors, shakiness, vibrations sensation (mild), sleep disturbances (mild / intermittent), early wakings (very mild / intermittent), some difficulty falling asleep (rarely), sweating (rarely), sweating that was smelly, missed a couple menstruation cycles, intensified PMS cycle (mild, compared to how it used to be), my menstruation cycle changed and got longer (from 29-32 days long, to 39-44 days long) (<--my menstruation cycle is 100% back to its normal timeframes and routines!) :)

 

"Least favorite" symptom(s): fear (very mild), irrational fears (mild), temptation to become agoraphobic, panic (rare)/panic attacks, temptations to become OCD, tachycardia (mild), anxiety (very mild)

Longest wave, to-date: 6 weeks (from mid-May through end of June 2014)

"most challenging" wave, to-date: 4 weeks, the month of August 2014

Work status: I work full-time as an administrative assistant during the week, and I waitress part-time on the weekends -- and I LOVE it!  I maintained working full-time (40 hours per week) for my entire taper, through June 20, 2014.  Due to symptoms increasing in the low doses and my desire to "rest", I then moved to a temporary part-time FMLA status on June 23, 2014.  I then moved to a 25-hour per week status on Monday, November 17th and then resumed my full-time status on Monday, December 15th (thank you Lord!).  I have been working full-time ever since.

Percentage healed, at my "most challenged" timeframe of withdrawal: 30-40% functional.

Current percentage of functionality: 95% functional.  Instead of "windows" and "waves", I find myself at more of a "baseline" that will dip a bit, or raise a bit.  Usually, if I experience a "wave", I also experience a raise in "baseline" after it is done.  Progress is very hard to quantify anymore, as it is so gradual.  But, there is no denial in comparing 3-6 months ago to today -- I have an ever-increasingly better baseline as the months pass along.

What I'm "left" with, to-date: I find myself a little sensitive yet to a few things that I "feared" while in withdrawal (I did not have any "unusual" or "irrational" fears prior to benzos).  They are things that I can deal with, but take some mental energy to do so.  Low-level anxiety and depression can nip my heels at times, but there is nothing that takes me out of "life" anymore, and I am grateful for that!  I am still a bit sensitive to exercise, and the feeling of my heartrate increased, but it gets better all the time.  My emotions and "drive" are still a bit "mute" or "negative" at times, but I know that will change this year.  Most importantly, I LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE, CRY, FIGHT, ETC!  Life is GOOD, gang REAL good!

 

Keep on fighting YOUR fight, and walking YOUR walk ~ you WILL get there, too!  Love to you all.

 

Mrs.

wow what a long journey and you're making it thank you for sharing needed to read this 3 months away from my one year mark

[[Sa...]]

Good Sunday Morning to all here on 6-12 month,

 

Can you share what you take for stomach acid?

It seems that my stomach has woken up. Loud rumblings not the issue but the burning sensation is crazy.

Some say tums is not good, neither prilosec.

What do you all take if any thing?

 

Thank you

 

[[St...]]

I just go for a mint tea personally seems to help settle it down a bit

[[Sa...]]

Mint tea? Ok, will try it.

Thanks

[[so...]]

When I was experiencing the worst of my gut issues, I took Tagamet in the morning and evening.  It is not a PPI, but I took PPIs also for periods of time because I was diagnosed with surface ulcers after 3 endoscopies, first endoscopy showing pinprick ulcer, second showing no ulcer, third showing 2 surface ulcers, WTH???

 

Other things that helped:  Gaviscon, Tums 1000 and ginger tea.

 

Sofa

[[Sa...]]

WOw, 3 endoscopies all in withdrawal?

What did they use for sedation?

 

Thank you for the list, i just went to CVS and got them

Came home realized wrong brands

Back to CVS

Its a nightmare

 

[[so...]]

Saraa,

 

I have no idea what they used for "twilight" sleep.  I didn't know anything about withdrawal at the time, so I never asked.

 

Sorry about the double trip to CVS.  I hate when that happens.

[[Ni...]]

Things are really bad at 9 months off.  Don't think I can make it without something  to help. Very little sleep for 2.5 months.  Took lunesta couple of nights which is a Z drug, bad idea not sure if that made things worse.  Anxiety, agitation, adrenaline rushes plus cortisol, horrible thoughts while trying to sleep. The non existent sleep is doing me in.  Got desperate for sleep tried gabapentin been on it for 4 days.  Have appointment with phychiatrist tomorrow don't want to start the poly drugging  which I'm deadly afraid of but life is unbearable right now.  Need to do something as I'm getting worse every day.  I was doing so well at 3.5 months and considered myself 70% healed.  I'm now off work and will mostly likely loose my job of 25 years.  My husband is beside himself.  Doesn't know what to do, my phychiatrist knows nothing about benzo withdrawal so not sure why I'm seeing her but I need something to sleep.  Feeling hopeless!

[[Sa...]]

Niners,

 

I did the same, i couldn't take it anymore at 9.5 months and i started Nortriptaline 10md as of 10am

I am a mess too

But we will get through this

Its a bad wave, you will come through it

Deep breathing, meditation,  It will pass

Hugs

Saraa

 

[[Ni...]]

Saraa, what is nortriptaline?  I feel like I'm loosing my mind, now I know what mental illness is.

[[Ni...]]

Saraa, are you sleeping?  This is by far my worst symtom and I'm not sure if I can overcome.  Thinking the gabapentin isn't helping matters at least I can't tell any difference right now.  It maybe intensifying the burning pain I feel in my shoulders and back.  Lord help us all. 

[[Sa...]]

Nortriptyline is an antidepressant with sedatvie quality that i was prescribed years ago as the SSRI's don't agree with me.  SSRI's send me into a panic mode but this was somehow i can tolerate.  They say Amitryptine is more sedating but i have heart issues don't want them.

 

Niners, do not take antidepressants without a doctors visit or call.  You have to make sure they suit you and your symptoms.

I was and as i am typing hyperventilating and know exactly what you mean about mental illnesss

I am ok, with this being mental illness and can no longer fight it.  I just need for it to stop.  My whole body, lungs, stomach, nerves, all are in agony.

 

But it will pass with or without tylenol or advil or tums or anti depressants. 

Stay strong, Its not a big deal we will get through it. 

Make sure you eat.  So important.  talk it, walk it, pray it, cry it, and it will pass as sure as it came on it will disappear.  Get support most of all. 

Must have support.  Make sure you call to come over.  Make sure you check with doctor if nothing else is going on. 

Stay strong

I am here for you

we will get through it

 

 

[[mr...]]

Saraa and Niners,

 

I wish to leave the two of you a little bit encouraged.

 

I want to let you know that at 9 months free, it can be very common to still be experiencing some very intense symptoms, including what could be described as "acute".  I remember when the 6-12 month group began, many buddies (I dare say most of them?) would experience "tough" waves at months 6, 9, and 12 almost methodically.  Please understand that this is simply part of the healing process, and while that knowledge does not necessarily make things feel better at this juncture, it can be something you can lean on to help you through this time period in your life.  Know that it WILL pass ~ eventually.  I (unfortunately) cannot tell you when it will pass, but I can tell you that it WILL pass.

 

I also wanted to perhaps help you feel reassured in that you are free to make decisions regarding your own personal healing journey, and that (IMO) you should never feel "guilty" or "wrong" in making a decision regarding it.  If you decide to utilize an adjunct medication to assist your healing journey, that is completely your decision to make.

 

I happen to take an adjunct antidepressant medication, as it was a long-standing prescription that I was on prior to benzodiazepine withdrawal.  I decided to continue its usage until my withdrawal syndrome from benzos had almost entirely disappeared, so that I did not have to deal with the withdrawal syndrome of two medications at the same time.  Niners, on a side note, "nortriptyline" is considered a tricyclic anti-depressant and is considered a part of the "older" class of anti-depressants.  It is not used very commonly today, as it was replaced with a class of antidepressants called "SSRIs" (selective serotonine reuptake inhibitors).  From what I understand, SSRIs replaced tricyclics because they had a lower list of side effects associated with them, but with a similar efficacy.  When they (tricyclic antidepressants) are used nowadays, they are commonly prescribed for migraine sufferers and/or people who have difficulty sleeping.  I am not trying to advocate the usage of this class of medication, but am merely providing you with information as to what the drug is (you had asked Saraa).

 

Niners, I would also like to mention that the usage of a "z-drug" is generally not encouraged during or after benzodiazepine withdrawal because the medication is very similar in its action within the brain ~ so it has been known to have the same type of withdrawal syndrome associated with it.  I would agree that it might be wise to consider a different form of medication for sleep, if you choose to try and use an adjunct medication.  But again, feel free to decide what you feel is best for you

 

I know that it can be a bit difficult and confusing to make decisions on what you can do to improve your situations ~ there is so much information, both from "buddies" on this site as well as our doctors, and the opinions of our family/friends to consider, that it can feel a bit "scary" and/or "overwhelming" in trying to decide what to do next.  When I found myself in similar situations while experiencing post-withdrawal, a couple things helped me make my decisions...

 

I allowed myself to research the "Top 3" options that I believed would best make better my situation.  This helped eliminate possible options, so that there was less confusion on what to do.  For me, I found the available options to better my situation were: adjunct medication(s), hospitalization, vitamin supplementation, herbal supplementation, counseling, unemployment, FMLA part-time status, and a few others.  I briefly discussed the available options with my spouse, and we decided to research further the following three as possible options: adjunct medication(s), vitamin supplementation, and FMLA part-time status at my job.  I read on BB and spoke with trusted buddies about some possible adjunct medications for my "least favorite" symptom(s) (for me, it was tachycardia, panic, fear, and anxiety ~ yours may be different).  I found that I was already taking an antidepressant, and that it was most likely helping to mask some of my existing symptoms.  We then moved my prescription from 10mg per night to 20mg per night, to help with some of the intense symptoms (and it did).  I spoke with my doctor and also acquired a prescription for a beta blocker to use "as-needed" for the physical discomforts of panic/fear/anxiety (and it was very helpful, for me personally).  I also researched on BB (and on other credible websites) about possible vitamin (not herbal) supplements that I could take, and/or dietary changes I could make, that would help me with my symptoms of withdrawal.  And as a result, I found a nice regime that helped me significantly.  I also finally paid a visit to the Human Resources department at my full-time job and explained my situation.  They were wonderful and gave me some options that I could try, so long as I had the help/approval of my p-doc (psychiatric doctor).  I then made an appointment with my p-doc, got some paperwork filled out, and viola!  I was on a medical-leave part-time schedule of 20 hours per week.  I was able to stay on this for six months, and it got me through some of my toughest times of withdrawal. 

 

These were just some things that helped me, buddies.  I'm not saying that these exact same scenarios are what you should try, but I just wanted to encourage you that it is OKAY, IMO, to research "options" and to make decisions based on what you (and your immediate family) believe can/will best help you through this time period.  "Options" may or may not include adjunct medication(s), herbal supplementation(s), etc...an "option" could simply be to "wait it out for a month" too!  What "options" are available to you, as well as which "options" are what you would consider "good" for you, is entirely up to you to decide  

 

I hope this messages serves to encourage you, and not to confuse you   I believe that no matter what you decide, you will be healed 100%, nothing missing and nothing broken, someday soon   Take care, and feel free to reach out anytime

 

Mrs.

[[Ni...]]

A few 3 weeks ago I was handling multi million dollar accounts, today I can't even balance my own check book.

[[Sa...]]

Mrslaw,

 

Thank you so much for all the info and support

I just need to get a grip

I need to pull myself up and out of this

I am just so scared that i have lost all will to live and the panic of going insane has me in a fetal position looking at the wall wanting someone to just come and take me away, i know there is noboy and the more i scream for help the worse i will be.

 

Thank you again