6-12 month thread....

[[wh...]]

Hi everyone I haven't been here for awhile was out and about and just trying to not live in the whole withdrawal thing so much.  I'm 10 months out now too like a lot of us and was doing pretty good but like some of you month 10 is a little rough.  Nothing is as bad as it was but some things are new.  I have more body type issues now and not so much of the mental anguish.  I'd say I'm at about 70%....

I think I've had every withdrawal symptom to some degree.  Right now I have a weird rash and itchy dry skin; (anyone else get this?) I still have health anxiety but more manageable; body stiffness and soreness is way better as well as the tight chest/diaphragm which I really didn't like.....

Still get early morning anxiety most days and trouble with stress definitely.....can't handle a lot of situations that I would have just breezed through in the past but much improved.  All in all healing is happening and back at 5 or 6 months I was a mess right in the eye of the tornado....couldn't see passed it.....now it's clearing up and I'm grateful for that and benzo buddies.  Doctors are starting to acknowledge this syndrome more and more which is also helping.  Hope everyone is good today.

Mrs thank you for your always uplifting and supportive posts....

[[88...]]

Hi,

due to my being a little over six months out, can I join your group?

Having a wave today...what I eat really makes a huge difference and those sweet potato chips

aren't helping things.

Iggy

[[Co...]]

Whoot!!!...I have been thinking about you over these months. You sound wonderful....I am so happy to hear of your progress. I remember when you started here you were in so much pain and fear. ...I am so encouraged by your post.

....I know there are peeps over on the 12-18 month thread who know you from last spring/summer who are going to be so pleased to see your post. ...doing a happy dance for you Whootie.. love to you....coop

[[Wo...]]

Hi,

due to my being a little over six months out, can I join your group?

Having a wave today...what I eat really makes a huge difference and those sweet potato chips

aren't helping things.

Iggy

 

Haha, yes 88 you sure can join the group, and stay away from those potato chips!

 

Hey Whoot, it sounds like I'm in a similar place as you. A lot of physical stuff, some of it new. Still getting morning anxiety as well and some stress throws me into a wave that lasts a few days. Thanks for coming by and updating us.

 

Everyone else, I hope you're doing relatively okay today. Hang in there!

[[je...]]

Whoot,

So glad to see you back here! You sound sooo much better! Great to hear of all your improvements. Yeah, I think most of us would agree the first year is more of the mental suff and then it turns into physical. Great to hear from you, jenny

[[wh...]]

Thanks everyone ....missed you but I was always monitoring the threads to see how everyone was doing.  This site it a god send and I am so greatful for all of you.  Coop!!...... my friend from the very start.....I am so happy that you are doing so well ....I'm sending tons of love to you....thank you for all your help and support through all this; you have been a blessing to a lot of us here.

We all are healing; I can see now that I am farther along so much more clearly....

Hang in there anyone that is behind; it really does improve and becomes manageable....

I feel like I've made it to a huge milestone and now the remaining journey is doable....take care everyone; come here and rant, rage, cry and get support. 

[[88...]]

Six months out and day two out for avoiding sweet potato chips.

 

Iggy 

[[Ba...]]

I'm slowly improving. I judge this by how I feel in the evening, if no longer feels like the toes on my left foot are being sliced off. Still, I have nerve pain.

 

I can feel a little emotionally, for a long time I was like Mr. Spock. This was great for reading or listening to the news. Now, however, I have to shut most of that off.

[[88...]]

Hi,

six months off of V, three days off sweet potato chips, but who's counting? 

I wonder how long this sweet potato induced wave will last.

 

Thanks for reading..

Iggy

[[Wo...]]

Ha! "Sweet Potato Waves" sounds like a cool psych rock band name.

 

So I seem to be coming out of a wave. I went to the doc last week to get the pulsatile tinnitus checked out. Turned out my bp is a bit high, no surprise. Except that I exercise, eat right, don't smoke, don't drink etc. The only factor that I can think of is removing benzodiazepines from my system. Logically, you would think docs at Kaiser would put that together, right? Of course not. Anyways, I'm feeling better and my bp is dropping.

 

Sorry if I violated any rules about badmouthing Drs. Of course not all Drs at Kaiser are morons. Just every single one I've come in contact with. Again, sorry.

[[88...]]

Hi Wondernova,

I like it: Sweet Potato Waves..it would be an all woman rock band and the hair color

would be sweet potato orange. Maybe it could be a 50s band and the women could

wear poodle skirts and cashmere sweaters..I'm showing my age about the poodle skirts,

but they were a little before my time.

Or, as you suggested: a psych rock band. I still like the idea of the orange hair.

I wonder how long this sweet potato wave will last...

Happy Saturday everybody..or whatever day it is for you.

Iggy 

 

[Guest [Ma...]]

Hi Everyone on this thread.  I m trudging along to the 6 month mark and hoping that it will be a turning point for me. I have always had this marker in mind as a goal .

 

I m still experincing a persistant but lower level anxiety which spike every day like clockwork about 4 o'clock each day ... The same time I was unknowingly battling T/w from my nightly dose of Ativan  it appears this pattern is imprinted on my brain.

 

I m also experiencing a severe brain freeze. It feeling like pushing a boulder just to use the remote to find a movie nevermind trying to work.

 

I find myself decompansating ( not even sure if this is the right word t use ) each day late afternoon and in bed by 7 30. I really don t have a life and even writing this here is mentally exhasuting

 

Please , if anyone can give me some hope, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you .. I m wearing down.

[[mr...]]

Hi Mary!

 

Welcome to the six-month-free thread, girl   IMO, what you're experiencing isn't uncommon!  6 months off is a great accomplishment also ~ you should be so proud of yourself

 

You mentioned your anxiety "peaking" around 4pm each day.  I wanted to mention that I, too, have followed a similar pattern in the past!  I've done a little reading & studying of cortisol & hormone patterns, and I figured out something interesting that I'd thought I'd share with you!

 

Have you often read of other buddies experiencing heightened anxiety/panic/fear/intrusive thoughts in the mornings, and have it start to 'burn off' by afternoon/evenings?  I'd heard of buddies mentioning that, since cortisol 'peaks' in the early AM hours (somewhere between 4am-7:30am), anxiety & other similar symptoms occur at this morning timeframe due to the "cortisol rise" in the morning.  Welp for me, this didn't really occur! ~ my 'peak', so to speak, often occurred in the afternoon timeframe, usually between the hours of 3pm-6pm.  So, I did some researching and reading...

 

Did you know that, for some people, there is another cortisol "peak" that can occur in the afternoons?  Generally speaking, for the folks that experience this "peak", it occurs sometime between...you guessed it...3pm-6pm!  When I discovered this, I was like Oh WOW!!  Explained SO much about my patterns!  

 

For me personally, simply supplementing vitamin C in higher doses (for me, 500mg -1,000mg) from the morning through early afternoon timeframes really seemed to help me out.  From what I've studied, vitamin C in the blood stream acts sorta like a "cortisol gobbler".  So, for me, it did help "ease" the symptom "peak" between 3pm-6pm.  I was quite grateful for this, of course!!  In the beginning, I took my 500mg tablet and split it in half, so that I could sloooooowly implement vitamin C into my regime.  I wanted to move slowly, in order to ensure my body reacted positively to it.  In the "heat of the battle" so to speak, I was dosing 2,000-3,000mg per day.  I now take between 1,500-2,000mg per day.  I generally try to dose it in smaller doses, and spread out throughout the day - because the body is pretty "efficient" in "washing out" any unneeded vitamin C from the body - so it can be fairly "easy in, easy out" so to speak   So, my current dosing schedule looks something like: 7am (upon waking), 500mg.  11am, 500mg.  2pm, 500mg.  5pm, 500mg.  5pm is my last dose, because vitamin C can somewhat "slow" down the pace at which the body produces melatonin, and can therefore "slow" down the rate at which my body gets tired...which I don't want, LOL!  I enjoy my sleep

 

All of this is just based off my personal experiences, Mary, of course.  I completely understand that nothing is for everyone, so please please feel free to make decisions based on what is best for YOU, okay?  I just wanted to relay my experiences, in case it could be helpful/useful to you   Congrats again on being six months free!  Remember ~ you'll never have to "redo" these first six months again!!  Hooray  

 

Happy Saturday to you,

 

Mrs.

[Guest [Ma...]]

Mrslaw you lovely woman you ... Thank you so much for your reply ... It has given me hope and another way to look at this 4 o'clock pattern. I was pretty much convinced it was embedded permanently in my brain and to hear of your experience has lifted me tremendously

 

I m wondering about being able to ingest the Vit C via tart Cherry or a natural source as to avoid supplements. Maybe increase what I m already drinking ?

 

 

I m going to check the amount vs what you have suggested.

 

 

I ve read many of your posts which have always been so helplful and can t thank you enough for taking the time to respond so kindly. God Bless You

 

 

Ps you are on our list at the prayer forum and prayed for daily but you are an angel for sure 

[[mr...]]

Hi Ms. Mary

 

I completely understand the hesitation in supplementing Another buddy on here, VCharis, mentioned a brand of vitamin C. It is sourced completely naturally, from berries - there is zero synthetic vitamin C. It is a powder base, so it can easily be added to drinks and such. And also, since it is a powder form, the dosing amount is very easily controllable. The brand is Pure Synergy, and the type I've purchased in the past is Pure Radiance C. Again, Mary - this is all just based off of my personal experiences What you decide to do for you is just peachy!

 

Okie dokes, high-ho, off to work I go Have a great day

 

Mrs.

[Guest [Ma...]]

Thank you ... Will check those out today ! So happy to see you are working. Have a great day Mrslaw!

[[Se...]]

So much helpful info...I am closing in on month 5 so thought I'd join this now because I can see I'll still have work to do in a month!

[Guest [Ma...]]

Yeah!!! SeriouslyDone !!! We ve got this  !!

[[mr...]]

This is an old post of mine that I'm going to bring about one more time.

 

For you, Mary, but also for all of the other buddies on this thread

 

HH,

 

I had to resurrect an old post, just to remind you/me/us that we ALL HEAL.

 

Pay attention especially to Ian Singleton's words. His personal story and recovery from benzo-induced anxiety is amazing.

 

Love to you

 

Mrs.

 

Hi Lisa

 

First things first: breathe. A nice deep, slow breath.

 

Okay, regarding everyone's healing:

I have pondered this as well. And researched it

 

There are three withdrawal advisors located at this site: http://cepuk.org/withdrawal-advisers/  They provide interviews with them that answer commonly asked questions about withdrawling from medications (benzos & otherwise). Now, credibility is something that is very important to me regarding information. Baylissa Frederick, one of the withdrawal advisors, has been working with people in post withdrawal since her own recovery in 2006. She mentions that she's dealt with over 6,000 people, mostly those who are protracted (we are not--thank you Lord!). She said that every one that she's spoke to has recovered -- ALL of them.

 

Ian Singleton (my personal favorite!) has been a withdrawal specialist for the Bristol Tranquilizer Project for over twenty years, since his own (protracted) recovery. They work with over 300 persons in post withdrawal per year (times twenty years = 6,000+ individuals). He says EVERY SINGLE ONE has recovered. EVERY time.

 

Melanie Davis is the Manager of Camden's REST Project for over twenty years. (Which means, again, experience with a LOT of people in post withdrawal.) She says, as well, that she's never seen anyone not recover in all her experience.

 

If you watch the interviews, you will hear them say it for yourself.

 

Ian also has his recovery story on the website (here: http://cepuk.org/recovery-stories/  he's the last one if you scroll all the way to the right) -- he says it again in there that we ALL recover.

 

For me, it speaks credibility that they have worked with tens of thousands (collectively), all at different organizations, and the all three individually say the same thing: we all heal. I know when reading of those of us in the "heat" of the battle, and hear their doubts and fears expressed, it is tempting to hear those things and think incorrectly and/or irrationally about recovery. I constantly have to keep this in mind, and also protect myself from things that tempt me in the wrong directions. When one is in the heat of it, their perspective may be temporarily limited to it. Does that make sense? (I hope!)

 

Lisa, these are just things I'm working on applying in my life They may or may not pertain or relate to your situation. In my personal but humble opinion: you're doing just fine You're in your sixth month, which is commonly known for a "bugger" of a month for many in withdrawal Also, you've had "windows" along the way -- this is a very good thing Currently, the past couple weeks have been a tough wave where I've had times of doubts in healing. But ya know? They're just not true. Simple as that I've just been taking an "observer" position in my mind -- sorta hop up on a bar stool in my mind and just calmly observe -- like, "Oh OK, there's that thought. There's this thought -- that's nice. Interesting." Etc. I "welcome" the wrong thoughts in and just allow them to "be". Dr. Claire Weekes talks about this (welcoming and accepting, etc). There are four audio clips of hers found here that are "streamable": http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/Relax.html If you scroll down a bit, they are labeled "How To Recover From Anxiety". I found them helpful That, and her accent is cute and makes me giggle

 

Anyways, I hope there is something in this that has at least encouraged you some I'm not one to offer advice, of course -- these are just some things that have helped me along my journey I hope you're feeling better by the time you're reading this -- I'm believing it to happen! Take care buddy, you are healing

 

Mrs.

[Guest [Ma...]]

Mrsalw,

 

This has to be the one of the most encouraging post I ve read throughout these 9 months. It should be posted daily again and again and again  The reassurance is so needed to fill the bottomless pit of doubt with hope  in this benzo recovery. I can t thank you enough . Your presence on this board has been invaluable ..... Thank you so much 

[[...]]

I’m about to hit 11 month mark and I’m in the biggest wave. It started last week and after a brief burst of energy on Sunday afternoon, it continues. Not that I felt fab before, just sometimes feeling a bit better. I’ve never really had health fear before however I’m finding it hard to believe I can feel so bad and not have something wrong. I’m at work and struggling, the fatigue, burning pain, headache and jitters are testing me. Can’t breathe properly either; I’m going to go for a walk to see if that helps. How can it be that you can feel so crap this far out?  :sick:The strength needed to get through this is unbelievable.

[[Lo...]]

I’m about to hit 11 month mark and I’m in the biggest wave. It started last week and after a brief burst of energy on Sunday afternoon, it continues. Not that I felt fab before, just sometimes feeling a bit better. I’ve never really had health fear before however I’m finding it hard to believe I can feel so bad and not have something wrong. I’m at work and struggling, the fatigue, burning pain, headache and jitters are testing me. Can’t breathe properly either; I’m going to go for a walk to see if that helps. How can it be that you can feel so crap this far out?  :sick:The strength needed to get through this is unbelievable.

 

Hi Marj! I'm with you...feels like the further out I get the worse. You should check out the 12-18 month thread. Some folks are all healed up and some are still in the storm.

 

Its daunting I know. I've been depressed for a couple of days. Crying...

 

Praying for you Marj...that better days are coming our way.

[[wh...]]

This is an old post of mine that I'm going to bring about one more time.

 

For you, Mary, but also for all of the other buddies on this thread

 

HH,

 

I had to resurrect an old post, just to remind you/me/us that we ALL HEAL.

 

Pay attention especially to Ian Singleton's words. His personal story and recovery from benzo-induced anxiety is amazing.

 

Love to you

 

Mrs.

 

Hi Lisa

 

First things first: breathe. A nice deep, slow breath.

 

Okay, regarding everyone's healing:

I have pondered this as well. And researched it

 

There are three withdrawal advisors located at this site: http://cepuk.org/withdrawal-advisers/  They provide interviews with them that answer commonly asked questions about withdrawling from medications (benzos & otherwise). Now, credibility is something that is very important to me regarding information. Baylissa Frederick, one of the withdrawal advisors, has been working with people in post withdrawal since her own recovery in 2006. She mentions that she's dealt with over 6,000 people, mostly those who are protracted (we are not--thank you Lord!). She said that every one that she's spoke to has recovered -- ALL of them.

 

Ian Singleton (my personal favorite!) has been a withdrawal specialist for the Bristol Tranquilizer Project for over twenty years, since his own (protracted) recovery. They work with over 300 persons in post withdrawal per year (times twenty years = 6,000+ individuals). He says EVERY SINGLE ONE has recovered. EVERY time.

 

Melanie Davis is the Manager of Camden's REST Project for over twenty years. (Which means, again, experience with a LOT of people in post withdrawal.) She says, as well, that she's never seen anyone not recover in all her experience.

 

If you watch the interviews, you will hear them say it for yourself.

 

Ian also has his recovery story on the website (here: http://cepuk.org/recovery-stories/  he's the last one if you scroll all the way to the right) -- he says it again in there that we ALL recover.

 

For me, it speaks credibility that they have worked with tens of thousands (collectively), all at different organizations, and the all three individually say the same thing: we all heal. I know when reading of those of us in the "heat" of the battle, and hear their doubts and fears expressed, it is tempting to hear those things and think incorrectly and/or irrationally about recovery. I constantly have to keep this in mind, and also protect myself from things that tempt me in the wrong directions. When one is in the heat of it, their perspective may be temporarily limited to it. Does that make sense? (I hope!)

 

Lisa, these are just things I'm working on applying in my life They may or may not pertain or relate to your situation. In my personal but humble opinion: you're doing just fine You're in your sixth month, which is commonly known for a "bugger" of a month for many in withdrawal Also, you've had "windows" along the way -- this is a very good thing Currently, the past couple weeks have been a tough wave where I've had times of doubts in healing. But ya know? They're just not true. Simple as that I've just been taking an "observer" position in my mind -- sorta hop up on a bar stool in my mind and just calmly observe -- like, "Oh OK, there's that thought. There's this thought -- that's nice. Interesting." Etc. I "welcome" the wrong thoughts in and just allow them to "be". Dr. Claire Weekes talks about this (welcoming and accepting, etc). There are four audio clips of hers found here that are "streamable": http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/Relax.html If you scroll down a bit, they are labeled "How To Recover From Anxiety". I found them helpful That, and her accent is cute and makes me giggle

 

Anyways, I hope there is something in this that has at least encouraged you some I'm not one to offer advice, of course -- these are just some things that have helped me along my journey I hope you're feeling better by the time you're reading this -- I'm believing it to happen! Take care buddy, you are healing

 

Mrs.

 

 

Thank you so very much for reposting your very reassuring post. I just read it at a time when I really needed it. Bless you

[[So...]]

I can relate as well.  The body aches - especially around my neck and shoulders - is intense.  Also, my mind just jumps from thought to thought and my mood is very low, especially in the morning.

 

I so want my confidence back and to be able to truly "relax".  The fact that I feel the way I do and have the scary thoughts i have makes the fear worse. 

 

Others have been where we are and are better now.  We must hold on to that.

[[Sw...]]

8 months off today, still fell like - well - crap.  Head and body pressure, anxiety pretty much  all the time.  Blood pressure is finally evening out at about 130/75 after two months of spikes.

 

Going to a meditation class tomorrow to see if I can learn from it.

 

Sweet pea